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Reviews for Shrine Prostitute

By : FlameTwirler
  • From ANON - bb on June 07, 2005
    I love this one-shot and hope that you are going to continue it, I really do. It really sounds promising.
    Whatever you do, is fine. but please let us know!!
    bb
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  • From ANON - goethicchick on June 07, 2005
    that was really good please write more.i really will be disappointed if you dont.
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  • From ANON - Anaidil on June 05, 2005
    Please update as soon as posible. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • From ANON - hiro on June 05, 2005
    please continue this...i want to hear more about the rest of the 4 weeks kagome spends with "mr. shrine prostitue" pretty please? with sugar and pop and candy on top???
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  • From ANON - Mily on June 04, 2005
    Are going to continued this fic, aren't you?

    Say yes
    say yes
    say yes
    say yes
    say yes
    say yes
    say yes
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  • From ANON - Ww on June 04, 2005
    I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED IT
    PLEAAAAAAAAAAAASE
    ONEGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI

    you have to update this
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  • From ANON - EverlastingDawn on June 04, 2005
    WoW! This story is amazing. I love it! Please, please, please make it into a continuation!
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  • From ANON - kitsune of flame on June 03, 2005
    ONEGAII!!Write more PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - luna on June 03, 2005
    oooooo continue PLEASEE!!!!!!!!! its a good story ^^ pretty pretty please!?
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  • From ANON - The C&C Bandit on June 03, 2005
    The people that have rated you lower than 5 stars clearly didn't read the note in which you said this was a test run at a lemon for you. And in *that* context, it's very good. The biggest spelling thing was your version of 'nite'. Tonite, nite, etc... It's a fairly simple word that all 18+ year olds should know how to spell: "Night". I could understand if it was 'site' and 'sight' because of the web lingo, but for 'night', there is no such excuse unless you are still using a 'nite lite' (and for the record, it's spelled "Light", too).

    If this is something you're planning to continue, I have to point out that there are *gaping* plot holes. The last I checked, Buddhism does not consider visiting a brothel as 'worship'. And really, you gave no explanation as to why this *is* the case in your fic. You would need to explain that in a continuation. After all, what is stopping her from just getting a boyfriend if it's necessary for her to have sex? Or do these shrine prostitutes give them some sort of 'holy recharge' when they fornicate? Why is this the *only* job that Inuyasha could get? If he is so disliked by people because he's a hanyou, why would someone pay to have sex with him?

    Also, the continued use of the word 'prostitute' was annoying. It was just overdone was all. It's a picky note, but it did detract from the enjoyment factor.

    Inuyasha and Kagome both seemed to be in character given your established parameters of the reality in which the fic takes place. Your spelling and grammar were good ('nite' not withstanding) and you have a nice flowing style. The fact that you included the bit about how hookers don't tend to kiss speaks of your attention to detail and the fact that you were trying to be as realistic as possible.

    I don't really see you continuing this fic without a major rewrite of the plot. The sex scene was fine, but you didn't exactly set up a background to stand on (again, this is likely because you were testing your lemon skills, so no points lost on that count for now). Whatever you do, DON'T simply write 'chapter 2' and have THAT explain the reality in which your characters live. It'll be tedious, cheesy, and utterly dull for your audience. That's how most good one-shots get butchered. Either rewrite the opening chapter to include a plotline or consider your first attempt at a lemon a smashing success. Your call.
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  • From ANON - ChibiSamuraiX on June 03, 2005
    That was very weird.
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  • From ANON - inulover on June 03, 2005
    Wow! That was simply fantastic! I am very interested, IF you happen to continue this excellent fic, to see what might develop between Inuyasha and Kagome (of course!). I am.however, also interested in finding out more about Inuyasha's past, his present life, and how he is treated as a halfling. We already get the general impression that he's treated poorly, but to what extent does the cruelty go? I always love a good angsty and brooding Inu with a dash of loving Kag to counteract his depressing view of himself. But even if this stays a one-shot, it is definitely worth the read. Five Stars! *****
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  • From ANON - ME on June 02, 2005
    This was good and i think you should UPDATE with a new chapter
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  • From drake220 on June 02, 2005
    totally continue this! it's an interesting piece and there's a lot of really nice AU development that's possible. Plus, the lemon was hot!! keep going!
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  • From ANON - amhor56 on June 01, 2005
    Very very good. I loved it. Your very good at writing. I loved the way you described everything. Especially Inuyasha's feelings on kissing. I definitely would love for you to continue and I would most certainly read and review. Update soon.
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