Reviews for To Give Into Temptation

BY : MindlessMina


  • From Dunkelgelb on July 06, 2017

    For the latest chapter:

    "Kagura flicked the blood off of her fan. With a groan she realized that she had somehow managed to get ogre blood all over her kimono."

    I guess she'd better take it off, then?  LOL

     

    For the fic overall:

    I like what you've written so far.  The bit of this review above this one I wrote earlier today; after going back through this fic's previous chapters, I found some things that I felt were worth mentioning and decided to make a more in-depth review.

    Technical comments: I like your formatting.  You break the story up into logically-related paragraphs at regular intervals, making it easy to read.  I also like your use of bolds and italics to accentuate the text in certain places.  The use of lines made of asterisks effectively separates various scenes from each other.  Technical note: As of 6 July 2017, Chapter 1 contains duplicated text, as if you copied and pasted the text from a word-processing program, but accidentally pasted it twice.

    Grammar comments: Most everything is spelled and punctuated correctly, with some exceptions.  For example, in Chapter 1, Kagome curses InuYasha as a "necrofeliac," for his ongoing relationship with Kikyo.  The correct spelling here is "necrophiliac."  At least once during Kagome and Naraku's first sexual encounter, you write Kagome as being in the "throws" of ecstasy.  The correct word here is "throes."  There may or may not be more like this, but generally speaking, they are few and far between.

    Storytelling comments: I like the plot!  Kagome/Naraku is fun and Naraku/Kagome/Sesshomaru is even better.  I also like how you tell the story from different perspectives, not just focusing on one character or another.  You use a wide variety of Takahashi characters without using an army of OCs.  You even use more obscure Takahashi characters like Entei, Hakudoshi's demon horse, which I assumed was an OC until I looked him up on a InuYasha wiki.  Very cool!

    Thank you for writing!



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  • From Elf97 on May 09, 2017

    This has me wishing Kagome and Naraku was canon.  Can't wait to read what happens next! 



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  • From Mrs.Bauble on March 24, 2017

    Oh myyy! *Fans self* That Naraku! Hubba hubba! Nicely done, very fun to read. Please update sooooon! 



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  • From ANON - jazzy on October 26, 2016

    I really enjoy this story i have read it twice now i think its amazing! I hope you continue the story!

     



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  • From bandit1431 on September 28, 2016

    I love the story 



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  • From ANON - natlau on August 04, 2016

    Awesome story and so looking forward to next chapter!



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  • From LadyGralfon on June 05, 2016

    I love this story. Hope you keep it going
    I'm

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  • From ANON - Pixie on May 30, 2016

    I want more this has been fantastic

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  • From ANON - Zena Mcclain on March 03, 2016

    Will Kagome be in love with Naraku and will he change his ways just to be with her, Will Kagome and Naraku have a kide

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  • From Em_The_FireFox on March 02, 2016

    Omgg PLEASE WRITE MORE!!!!!!!

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  • From ANON - AsteralChild on September 05, 2015

    Please add more!!!!! I love it!!!!! I also love some of the more adult humor that you add!

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  • From ANON - Venyis on August 26, 2015

    Ch 7 omg! I WANT that! Where do I sign up, take a number, get in line, whatever, anything! First born, second born, all born, take em!

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  • From Trelweny on August 06, 2015

    Oh. MY. Wow. So I wonder... does Sessomaru only want answers or is part of him wanting a repeat performance. Makes me cross my fingers for a "make love not war" solution. ;)

    Thanks so much for writing.

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  • From ANON - Anon on June 28, 2015

    oh it was so good .pls update

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  • From ANON - riran on May 31, 2015

    Wow, i never expected that i'll like this pairing. Good job, keep on writing good story like this ^^

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