The Hurdle

BY : silverhentai
Category: InuYasha > General > DarkFic
Dragon prints: 2063
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but if I did I will make him my sex slave... Maybe that's why I don't own him...

English is not my first language.

A hurdle

By Dariana (Aka Silverhentai)


I just donít understandÖ

Why do I feel so lonely?

I have my friends at the Sengoku Jidai, but I donít really feel it. To trust they are my friendsÖ that is very hard.

I have been alone always. Iím different. Deep inside I know they donít like me.

Inuyasha already has Kikyo, I know they love each other and Iím just on the way. An obstacle, a hurdle for him. He just likes my ability to sense the shards, so he can get them faster and avenge his loverís dead.

I take my blade and make a small incision on my left index, the soft pain help me forget for a moment Inuyashaís indifference. It is a sweet sharp pain. Drops of crimson blood stain my skin and slips on my hand. Thee soe so light in weight; I look at them captivated by its bright color; distracting me from the void I feel inside my soul.

The silver-gray blade passes through another point again; this time is my arm. It is just a small cut but is followed by more and more. Lots of thin scarlet slashes decorating my arm. I feel ashamed for such a stupid act. Iím just a stupid silly girl wanting to attract everybodyís attention. The worst thing is that Iím aware of it.

Why Iím not naive enough to donít notice it? I walk fast to the bathroom and open the mirror. Inside is the First Aid kit. I take a bandage and start wrapping it around my wounded limb. I laugh. This must be a joke. What would happen if somebody notices them? What would they think of the brave and innocent Kagome?

They will send me to a mental institution for sure.

I sigh.

My bandage, some little stains of red liquid appear in the soft material. I feel so bad. I donít deserve the concern of anybody who watches it. I had to cure them, disappear them.

I grab a bottle with a transparent liquid. Its red tap swirls in my hand while I try to open it. The scent of alcohol welcomes me; I pour it all over the bandage.

It hurt. I clench my teeth while I feel it slowly scorch my skin. My heartbeat is increased in every single cut. They are throbbing.

Tears slip down my face as I see what I have done to myself. What kind of monster have I become?

I want to scream, but it would only bother my family, and him.

He was the one who make me notice that I was a hurdle, shoutting it at my face. If I wasnít there, my familyís life would have be easier and happier. Itís my entire fault.

Even in the other side of the well, I messed things up, breaking the Shikon jewel in so many fragments that I would likely spend the rest of my life trying to gather all the pieces. Miroku, Sango and Inuyasha have important reasons to get it all complete. Now, thanks to me, Naraku has the most of it.

I cuddle into a ball on my bed, crying. The searing pain in my arm remembers me of my sins.
The image of the dog-hanyou appears in my mind. He is too close and too far from me at the same time. It doesnít matter how hard I try. Heíll never belong to me.

Heíll despise me like him, my stepfather, when he finds out what I have done to my arm.

ďKagomeĒ I gasp, as the half-demonís voice filtered through the open window.

I feel his warm presence approach to me, scanning my body. He must have smelt my blood. I tremble under his gaze.

Suddenly, I feel myself being lifted and crushed to a hard chest. His arms are encircling my body. A warm feeling wraps my heart, where a minute ago, the coldest feeling of all was residing. I breath his scent, sandalwood and musk, it stersters in my memory, Iíll keep it dearly forever. I havenít stop crying.
He holds me tighter against him. His soft silver hair brushes my face.

ďWhat have you done to yourself?Ē

His voice sounds a little broken, he seems concerned but I know it is just for a moment. Heíll dismiss me later again.

Iím just a hurdle anyway.

Thatís what he always says.

***********

OK donít askÖ I just felt like writing it. Maybe Iíll continue it. Maybe it will be just one shot. Or Iíll do a story based on it.

I have a huge writerís block. I canít continue my other stories yet, thatís why I ended up writing this. Well, I am also a little depressed, can't you tell?

Please review!!


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