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Reviews for Fragments of Broken Pride

By : Areitus
  • From Sagura87 on January 15, 2012
    Awesome AWESOME STORY!!! please update soon!!!
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  • From Nesha85 on June 19, 2011
    Great story. I hope you will finish it or have you forgetten about it? I really hope you update soon. Thank for writing .
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  • From DreamReanimator on July 27, 2010
    kick.ass.

    I'll keep the rest of my comments in my profane head. lol!
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  • From LadyPiro on July 22, 2008
    I've read a lot of really bad attempts at this pairing, but I totally loved this. You pegged the characters so well!!
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  • From Sabriel20 on May 21, 2008
    Please, please update soon the suspense is killing me. I don't know why I've never seen this fanfic before, but now that I've read all the chapters, I need to know whats happening. Please update soon.
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  • From Goldeneyesofinu on December 21, 2007
    Great story... I love the idea behind it and of course the smut! hehehe...

    Please update soon... It's too good a story just to leave unfinished!
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  • From chicke222 on May 20, 2007
    hey can you post lost and found on this site too??
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  • From ptbear on April 27, 2007
    Interesting. Update soon. Can't wait to read what happens next and if Sesshomaru realizes that Rin is really not alive.
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  • From coolmom342003 on February 15, 2007
    sesshoumaru is one of my most favorite characters do him better justice
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  • From Moussajinx on February 14, 2007
    (Bizarre to find this story finally and notice I'm commenting after someone I've been reading lately, I swear I'm not stalking you Snowfall. Hentai minds must think alike or something. It's just a strange coincidence.:p)
    FINALLY! I finally found your story! Yay!! I read the yaoi lemon on Y! but never found the whole until now, though it seems as though it isn't whole. :( You managed to create a whole other world for The Inuyasha gang but have left them at a crux. Even if you never finish this, it's still one of the best written and intriguing story-lines it's ever been my pleasure to read. You've made Sess more dimensional than most authors do and have prophetically shown how deeply Sess cares for Rin, all many months before the manga proved your assumption correct. Kudos for your e.s.p. :) I could gush on about your amazing artwork and linger begging for updates, but instead I Thank You for this wonderful and sadly missed story. Perhaps one day we'll find out where you wanted to go with this and I for one will be waiting with an avid mind. And perhaps pestering you on other sites ;) Cheers!
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  • From ANON - Snowfall on December 03, 2006
    This is an excellent story and well written. I do hope that you continue. What a cliff hanger!

    Snow
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  • From ANON - Anon on September 21, 2006
    ^-^ I must say it didn't take long for me to fall in love with this story. I cried my eyes out through the first half and to be completely honest, it's not easy to make me cry. You're a very talented writer and I can't wait to read the next chapter. Keep up the good work!
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  • From ANON - Animefreak242 on February 06, 2006
    *claps* Miroku and Sango are part of the story (albeit, out of character. It's like you switched their personalities). I'm just glad you've uincluded them as active characters in this story. This chapter was pretty good. Are you going to have Koga, Ginta and Hakkaku in this story? I hope so (though not in the stereotypical 'Koga comes, tries to snatch Kagome but Sesshomaru intercepts and rips him a new one while Inuyasha stands by and smirks' scenario. That's just old).

    Sesshomaru's behavior was a little strange. For someone who had so much pride that it kept him from asking for another bowl of Ramen, he sure looked at the ground a lot. That's a submissive gesture. If he was so prideful, wouldn't he look Kagome straight in her eyes and regard her as unimportant? Or at least verbally affirm or reject each question? He thinks one thing, yet his actions state another. Or is that what you were going for? For this to be all an 'act' in Sesshomaru's head.

    Once again, proof read (grammar, punctuation, repetitiveness, etc.). I didn't notice it in the first chapter, though I saw it at the beginning of the second one. You referred to Naraku's poison incorrectly. It's miasma, not masma. Just wanted to let you know.

    ~Animefreak242
    aka
    Kawaii Girl
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  • From ANON - ANimefreak242 on February 06, 2006
    Chapter 2 - Pretty good so far. I liked the general idea of this story. I also have to congratulate you on not making Sesshomaru out of character. *gives you a cookie* Most authors just change and mold the characters' mannerisms to fit their fics (i.e. having anyone fall for Kagome in two chapters - no substance). I'm happy that Sesshomaru still has both arms too. ^o^ They say that that makes the stories easier to write.

    The only suggestions I really have are, for one - giving Shippou, Sango and Miroku more of a voice. I know that this is only the second chapter, and that the story is centered around Sesshomaru, Kagome and Inuyasha, but they seem to be just floating. Just following after Kagome and Inuyasha without a thought.

    Another is that you might want to proof read. Some of your wording is repetitive (i.e.: "...the hand retreated back...") and you're using 'he', and it's variations, a lot. It's clear that you're talking about Sesshomaru in the the second segment of paragrahs, but the constant 'he'/'his' gets repetitive (i.e.: "...Every part of his body ached. He pushed himself up from the soft mat he was lying on. Around him there was darkness and behind him he saw a fire. He also saw his brother and the miko along with the other members of the party. His energy was still depleted, and he felt horribly nauseated. He gathered that his brother must have saved him from Naraku, though why, he didn’t know..."). Especially when it begins every sentence.

    What else? Inuyasha's red garb is called his fire-RAT robes. Mice are smaller and not at all ferocious. And they're goosebumps, not chill bumps.

    Ok, I'm done now and will continue reading. Ja mata~! *wavies*

    ~Animefreak242
    aka
    Kawaii Girl
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  • From ANON - Snowfall on February 03, 2006
    Let me know if you plan to update this story. I have enjoyed it immensely and can't wait to see what the evil Naraku is up to. If you need ideas, I've already got them.

    Snowfall
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