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Reviews for Who is he?

By : ANGELA0970
  • From ANON - kaisgirl112 on April 28, 2005
    hi enzera,
    i think ur story is really good and i was in tears at the end you are a very good writer maybe you could make another story?
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  • From ANON - Anon on April 21, 2005
    word of advice, when you write your priview caption, one don't say you are new that will automatically drive people away from reading your story, people don't give newbies much of a chance, and two don't beg that much for reviews. just a suggestion if you want to get more readers

    good luck!
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  • From ANON - d.o.a./Jane Doe on April 21, 2005
    Where's a tissue? So that was the surprise end fooled me I had no idea that was gonna happen. I usually don't like non Inuyasha characters in a story be you did this one good. Hope to see more stories soon.
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  • From ANON - mewho on April 08, 2005
    I think its good. Please write more I want to know what the surprise ending is going to be.
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  • From ANON - jem on April 04, 2005
    hmm... interesting.. I like it!
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  • From ANON - whirleeq(not logged in) on April 04, 2005
    Hi... you're looking for suggestions, and my first one would be to write about existing Inuyasha characters. 'Original Characters' in the hands of inexperienced writers can often turn into a personal fantasy, or a 'Mary Sue'. 'Mary Sue's' are pretty much all the same - they usually are a) from the future, b) can mysteriously travel the well into the past - despite the fact that no one but Kagome and Inuyasha can do this in canon c) have incredible unheard of powers, d) are beautiful beyond belief and e) have one or more major characters fall completely in love with them on first sight - totally disregarding whatever barriers exist in the way. Unfortunately, your story is a classic case of 'mary sueism', and no one likes to read about 'mary sue' (or her brother, 'gary stu', who exhibits the same characteristics). I think if you were to try again with a new story and focus on one of the existing characters (try kagome - she's always easy to write), you would have a better reception. As long as you don't give her superpowers, wings, turn her into a demon, or make her dress in leather (in which case, she becomes a 'Kagome-Sue' - the evil sister to 'Mary-Sue'), than you should be okay.

    If you are looking to do a Sesshoumaru pairing and want to know how to do so while keeping in charcter, try reading Resmiranda's 'Tales from the House of Moon', or 'Fugue' -- or anything by Wheezambu.

    Hope this helps - I'm not trying to flame you, just trying to offer some suggestions. Heck, we all start somewhere - my first fic was absolutely atrocious! It was a harry potter fic, about a blonde american transfer student who goes to hogwarts and meets draco - he falls madly in lurve with her... (shudders to even think about it)

    Good luck :)
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  • From ANON - Kit on April 01, 2005
    I like the idea so far, but try to be more detailed and make the story longer... keep it up!
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