Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Reviews for What A Girl Needs

By : SoutasSister

From ANON - Jules on April 24, 2005
Again, the dialogue between Kagome & Sango is excellent. Can't wait to see what bombshell Sess drops on Inu. 0.o
Report Review
From ANON - Zincpaw on April 24, 2005
Sorry I didn't review for the last chapter, but I couldn't think of anything to say. That chapter and this one are both so good, and I didn't want to start repeating myself, that would get boring fast. At the moment I'm cheering for Sesshoumaru to drop the verbal bomb on InuYasha. heheh I can't wait. As I might have said before, one of the reasons I like certain fics is the way that they describe the emotions and the way that they respond to situations like this one. This has to be one of first fics in a while that actually is going at a somewhat slow pace, of course it is speeding up a bit. As you put in your author's notes at the bottom, you can't see them being so aggresive at the start. I agree with you. Too many fics have it the other way, and I'm left with the question, 'How does InuYasha know what to do?' XP. That just bothers me. Then again if it is a well writen lemon then I don't mind, not at all. On another note, the rate at which you are up dating is ... ... um... I can't describe it but, REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I makes me feel all warm inside that I can come home after a horrible day and read the next chapter. (No I am NOT exagerating!! How dare you think that!!!) Please continue with this wonderful piece of art. All i can say is 'Thank-you' Zincpaw
Report Review
From ANON - Jessie\'s Girl... on April 24, 2005
lol... i wonder what miroku's gonna do! i could totally see him searching through all of her stuff and finding that book... or will sess get it first? miroku's gonna be so damn happy... lol...
Report Review
From ANON - Rawben on April 24, 2005
oh baby! let me ride you like a pony!!! lol!!!! damn... i wasnt even reading the AN but that really stuck out and so i read the whole thing... :P anyhow, that was a great chapter. ohoh!! and sess is gonna tell inu???? sweet!! hahah!! that's gonna be hilarious! poor inu. also, i like the length of your chapters. good job... update soon... and whatnot...
Report Review
From ANON - Anvil on April 24, 2005
O yeah, Sesshoumaru is super-stealth mode.
He's on a mission. A mission of luuurv. Well---
Maybe not. I commend your coolness.
Report Review
From ANON - gv on April 22, 2005
oh girl you better update! this is too good
Report Review
From ANON - Rawben on April 21, 2005
great chapter! i love that you explained why miroku didn't tell inu. cause i was totally going to ask you about that ;). anyhow, how long do to think this ff will be? will the mir/san lemon come before the inu/kag one? just curious... ;)
Report Review
From fallenangel7583 on April 21, 2005
very nice, as always. at least inu knows miroku is holding out on him. ....still think the monk needs to be thwaped! ...damn lecher! GRR. the angst is amazing, the characters right in personality as always. i love your souta, he's great. Kagome's right, he was raised right. i was like, awww....and it's true. LOL. very well done there. poor inu...hopefully kagome doesn't do anything...brash....like going to hojo ::shiver shiver:: he's just a big no. LOL> very well done, i can't wait to read the next chapter!!!
Report Review
From ANON - AAHHHH!!! on April 21, 2005
AHHHHHH!!! how could you leave an evil cliffy like that you better hurry up and write the next chapter this is amazing and i cant waite to read what else you have instore for inuyasha and kagome along with poor hojo
Report Review
From ANON - inugirl on April 20, 2005
good, good, good! keep it coming, can't wait for the "climax" :)
Report Review
From ANON - Zincpaw on April 20, 2005
I honestly didn't expect that you would post the next chapter so quickly, it makes me feel all fuzzy inside. I agree with you about posting the chapters months apart, it can be quiet annoying. They leave you at a cliff hanger, only to make you wait months until they post again. Only the new chapter is the shortest chapter you have ever seen! It can sure get on your nerves. Anyway, after reading the first chapter I was wondering what InuYasha would say, think and do. I read this chapter and it fills in all the blanks! Thank-You! Usually when I read some stories, they have rather good plots, but they don't take the time to tell you want each of the characters is feeling. That is whet makes this my absolute favorite InuYasha fan fiction yet! There is nothing that I would change, or anything that seems to be a problem with this fic. Anyway I think I wasted enough of your time, and my cat is making my feet go numb, all I would like to say is please continue to write new chapters and update. Thank you. Zincpaw.
Report Review
From ANON - Cyperian on April 20, 2005
You've done an excellent job setting up the premise for the fic. Really emotional and very heart-wrenching. One can actually feel the pain of the characters, and you�ve managed to put a new spin on some of the older concepts of the series. It really is an excellent start, and while I don�t want to try to dictate how the story will progress, I do have a few suggestions of what pitfalls you should attempt to avoid. I normally wouldn�t do this, but this fic has a lot of potential and I�d hate to see it go the way of the clich�.

It is good that you set up the conflict of emotions in the characters. But remember � this gets *old* very fast. Too many authors write chapter upon chapter going over the same �hope to despair and back again� scenario. If you want to maintain your unique quality, I suggest that you allow them to have some type of focus. For instance, have Inuyasha firmly decide that even if it means sacrificing his pride, he will try to win over Kagome. Or firmly have him make an effort to let her go. Although if you do the latter, please remember to set it up well. Inuyasha is not one to give up on anything and too many authors go the way of �well, he just wants to see her happy so he�d let her go�.

So far the fic has progressed slowly. That is GOOD because you were setting up a basis. You pulled it off beautifully (and with good grammar and spelling which is always appreciated). But now that you�ve set up a foundation, build on it rapidly. Don�t keep the reader dangling for too terribly long. It gets frustrating and people are far more likely to either stop reading or wait for the fic to be finished before continuing so that they can skim to the interesting parts.

Remember that in the series, Sango and Miroku have *NO* qualms about keeping inside information. This is seen is several episodes. For instance, in episode 109, Inuyasha is confused as to why Kagome is flying with Kirara. Miroku tells him plainly that Kagome is hurt by the fact that he was with Kikyou. Both of them openly tell Inuyasha on several occasions when he�s hurt Kagome. It�s likely that in this circumstance, one of them would say something to him about the part of the conversation he missed, ESPECIALLY if asked for advice about whether or not to pursue her.

Kagome has never had a problem with telling Inuyasha that she feels hurt or jealous. Once again, episode 109 springs to mind. She yells at Inuyasha �I�ve been enduring it for so long, so why can�t you just leave me alone?� Based on her previous actions, if he started being an ass to her to either try to let her go or because he resents her, she would tell him to stop being an ass, he�s already hurting her enough as is.

Again, I am not trying to write your fic for you. It�s just that this actually has major potential, and I don�t want to see it become �just another IY fic�. If you want to respond or use me as a beta, please e-mail me at themuse (at) rebel-muse.net.

Please update again soon!
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on April 20, 2005
Please post more soon! It's so heart breaking!
Report Review
From ANON - inugirl2005 on April 20, 2005
wow! your story is just amazing! keep updating i really luv it!
Report Review
From ANON - fallenangel7583 on April 20, 2005
wow...another amazing chapter. that was awesome. honestly, you brought tears to my eyes with inu compairing what he heard from kagome to seeing the arrow from kikyo. that's just some real great anologies there along with some real good raw emotion. i want to thwap miroku though. he knows...he heard it all and can't figure out why inu is in such a grumpy mood. damn he's thick...then agian, i'm sure he has some great interesting ideas on his mind. LMAO- dancing around the well singing. that's priceless!!! i could kill to see the look on Sesshiles face on that one!!! very well done. great new chapter. don't worry about living up to the first chapter, the work you have done thus far is amazing!!!
Report Review