Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Reviews for Warmth In The Rain

By : Mmoirai

From ANON - ce ce on August 10, 2005
Okay, this was one of the best stories I have ever read and I want to tell you that you did a breath taking job.

email when you do anything close to Warmth in the Rain!
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From aoi37 on August 07, 2005
You call this a practice lemon!!! I thought it was great:) I know I am probably the last person to give advice, but I find the more mechanical you are about what happens; ie He split this, rubbed this, ripped this open; the harder a lemon can be to write and make different. At least it's that way for me. In the end you are going to have to find your own style, but I think works for me is emotion. I try lace the emotion of the moment so the reader can feel and get warm with the couple. I think it all depends for what kind of moment you are going for. I study other people's lemons so I can get better, maybe that might give you a variety of ideas to play around with for you chapter. I hope this was helpful.

I have the opinion of a another reader that told me to pass on to you, that he loves just the mechanics
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From ANON - AMonlover on August 07, 2005
Wow I read One Life on mediaminer.org and damm if theres going to be a hott leamon like this its well worth the wait I love your stuff its very well done ! Lookin forward to your new work UpDate soon kk love ya BTW this was very well done
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From ANON - Kerrigan on August 04, 2005
It was excellent
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From ANON - Catchfire on August 04, 2005
I don't think you need to practice anymore. That was too damn hot to be a practice lemon. None the less you could do a series of one-shot lemons and not neccessarily just Rin/Sess but also other pairings like Rin/Inuyasha or Sesshoumaru/Kagome or Sess/Sango or Miroku/Sango or Miroku/Kagome or the classic Inuyasha/Kagome. Basically just do any and every pairing imaginable. So keep up the great work.
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From ANON - Kiyomi on August 04, 2005
W00t! I loved it, one of the best lemons I've seen, and no, I'm not being kind. It's true. ^-^
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From ANON - Fallenrose on August 04, 2005
This was a very good practise lemon. The tension leading up to the act itself was delicious, you shouldn't worry about how to write a good lemon as you seem to have it down pretty well. Just try and keep it realisitic as possible and make the experience for the two charectors amazing. An excellent one-shot.

Fallenrose
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From ANON - Sess\'sBewitchingBabe on August 01, 2005
Hey!!!!!!!!!!! For a practice Lemon it was pretty good!!! Can't wait to read more!!!!!!!!!
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From ANON - luna on July 31, 2005
i like it. good lemon skills ^^
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From ANON - Chi on July 31, 2005
Hummmde..... lemme think... I've read quite a few lemons... hell... if you go to this site, you usually have *cough* anyhow.... I dont really get it when and aurthor (p.s WARNING, I tend to typo like no tomorrow, sorry bout that, so if somethign makes complete shit-all sense... you've had prior warning) Back on track... I'll guess you're a girl... And if i'm guessing correctly, you either have a hymen or had one. Now from everything thing I know, personal, and the shit-load of stuff I've read, and trust me... I've read more then i really want to remember..... gah... The hymen (thin membrane) covering the ENTRANCE of the... vagina (really hate that word, bad sound to it, ne?) There our 4 different types of Hymens, for girls... 1. None ( some are born without one, weird, but true... i think it's rare...) 2. The hymen is intact and has SMALL holes (Kinda brings cheese to my mind) 3. Hymen intact and has either LARGE holes, or one large hole with a few small ones. then unlucky number 4. Hymen has no holes (the docters have to give it holes, or remove or BIG trouble with the monthlys) Rare again. Depending on age, body size of the sheela (girl, chicky, the fuck hole) As your get older the bigger your mickey and more stretched your hymen has had done to it by every day things etc. Some girls when they have sex (depending on their age and the guys WIDTH and length as well) Will feel pain, not the "Ow shit! I just bit my tongue" sorta pain, to say so... Either the hymen depending on the type of your goign for will have two happenings... 1. stretch. 2. stretch and tear and get ripped apart. Pain could range from a sharpish dull heated throbbing pain to a sharp burning very painful heated throbbing pain. I know im goign all over the place and proberlly not making any sense, try an put it together int he end though?
There isn't alot of nerve enddings actually in the vagina, there are more in the entrance area though, g-spot of course, many women find that having their cervix shoved into quite painful. The vagina is not a endless tunnel, the average length of one is actually only 5inches. But it does stretch... but still.. theres a limit.. I find it incredibly stupid when they go about how the male personal has a "10inch" doodle. So guys can be TOO big for a girl. Anyhow...Back on to sex for the first time... Realistically, chances of havign a orgasm your first time, threw penetration.... are more then a lil on the low side. Considering that 75% of women NEVER in their LIFETIME have an orgam due to penetration alone. If you want a real sounding lemon, go by that fact. It's not really the pain that the big "gah" either, it tends to be quite UNCOMFORTABLE feeling more than anything. And gah, big pet pain in the rear with like.... 90% of lemons... Having a guy 'Quickly thrust, slam, etc.' Into you, specially if yoru a virgin with the means that 'It will be over quicker' is one of the stupidest things ever... It'd bloodly hurt a hell lot more, it'd tear you up painfully... Try and stay away from that sort of thing, the slower the better. Dont go nutty on the whole 'Doggy style' either. Dogs... do it how they do for a reason, and that because... it's the only way they CAN do it. It's not a heaps itimate position either in quite a few ways. It's like saying, just cause they're dog-demons they will go and sniff everyones butts in greeting. Did you know that on average for a girl to orgasm, it's between 5 - 10 minutes? for a guy it's ....very.... very... short... 2 minutes average. Also... the average length of penetrational sex is 2 minutes... Ohhhh.... Guys can also have multi orgasms too. Not goign to explain on all the facts of HOW to do that but... hold it back and at the same time let it flow. They can be seperated... this one guy wooo... 3 years and he hadn't... yea. If you want a good, hot realistic lemon... Go by... life itself not la la land. If you know from yourself if soemthgin feels good, do that, btu if you know it's not, dont. simple. Sometimes it's quite simple things that make a lemon a good one. But mostly it's the ones they differ from the usual of how "boy and girl get horny, they strip, they feel up each other for a while, boy pauses in actiion scared to hrut hurt, boy gets affirmitive and slams into girl, girl says 2 seconds later 'Oh harder, faster' buy gets all la de dared trying to hold off, girl comes and staight away boy comes with her in a few seconds' it's.... dull. Here are two very good lemonade aurthors (Ones go Inuyasha fics, the other is Witch Hunter Robin) Have a read of their stuff, because they both have some realisticness in them, and very well written. Oh oh! Stay away from the whole water thing too! Thats just... fuckered.... If your in water (or shower) it washes AWAY the bodys natural lube, meaning... no slipperyness. it does soften skin tho. Here are some sites, they might help better your lemon writign abilitys. (Meris ann | Witch Hunter Robin Smut fics - http: //www. geocities. com/ revolutionaryzero /endymion .html and http: //www.geocities. com/ revolutionaryzero/ origami.html) ) annnd ( http:// www. kuronekosama.com /stories/ ) Get rid of spaces, Actual information on sex... and positions an all sorts of thigns in that range can be found at www.sexuality.org (wide range, ANYTHING you wanna know about from bdsm to... just anything) Quicker one to go threw tho is www.datingfun.com
Now that I've given you.... abit of a sex education in things... you proberly didn't really need to know I'm going to drag my migrained ass into bed and sleep my life away. Happy lemonade writing!
Take care. Tassssss.
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From ANON - Mike on July 31, 2005
I happen to really think sess and rin would make a perfect couple and you did an unbelieveable job of makin them seem even better and if I may say you made me hard as well, thank you for that and your incredible work. email me back if you like please :) bye bye
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From ANON - Sam on July 31, 2005
This is definitely a wonderful "practice" piece!! Since you -want- criticism, I will mention the only thing I could think of. The wording you used at Sesshou's end ( "...as he shot his hot cum into her.") just seemed a little base to me... as in 'too biological-impersonal/not emotional-spiritual enough.'. I'm not sure how else to explain it, and maybe I'm being too picky... bah. I'm very much enjoying your writing and hope your muse stays happily with you for a long time!
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From ANON - monkeygirl on July 30, 2005
I like, I like, but are you sure that was a practice lemon? You did good!!!!
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From ANON - daxemon on July 30, 2005
I have already seen the lemon in One Life and it was fantastic. This lemon blew my socks off. i'm one of your devoted readers of One Life and I am pleased to say that both lemons were worth the wait. Please write more, you are very talented and refreshing. Thank You.
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From ANON - Roushijin on July 29, 2005
KICK ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was the BEST LEMON EVER!!!!!!!!! ROCK ON!!!!!! Wow, I can't wait till you write your other one....I might be late in the story, but could you make Sesshomaru rough with Rin in their meeting before they get it on...that always seems to make the scene really hot....MUHAHAHAHA....This is a great lemon....Hurry up and get that Review...SWEET...Update Soon On One Life.....Best practice Lemon I've ever read....wow....will you write my lemon for my story....I'm currently writing Fire Between Worlds.....and you do such a good job with Sesshomaru and Rin...maybe you could help....Well anyways...UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!
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