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Reviews for Intended Mate

By : penpaninu
  • From ANON - zabchan on September 05, 2005
    ahhh! so good! couple of comments:

    the miroku sango thing, while i know you're focusing on inuyasha and kagome, could use some more development. perhaps after you get inuyasha and kagome mated you could work on having miroku over come his...obsticles?

    ^^ i'd have to say this story's strong point is the emotional interplay between the characters. the dialouge isn't terribly brilliant..(but hey, neither is the american translation's dialouge...-_-; ) the description is passable, but nonetheless the emotional angle is dead-on.

    the sesshomaru gang is all in character, i'm happy to say. sesshomaru especially. myoga too. i loved the line "it took him two birds, a deer and a bear to reach sesshomaru..." (or something of that nature...)

    the pacing is a bit slow, and it does seem that naraku is wshort on involvement. oh and will kagome's family ever find out?

    inuyasha seems just a tad OOC, but the areas of his OOCness, being more affectionate, not being so brash, not being a jerk...could all be contributed to kagome's influence. at times, it seems alittle hard to swallow that getting laid would affect inuyasha THAT much..but hey, it's your story.

    thanks for writing such a cute fic!
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  • From ANON - Helpful on September 05, 2005
    Just ignore any ignorant reviews you may get from Anon. Trust me when I tell you that this asshole always leaves flames no matter how good a story is (and this one is good). You just happen to be one of the many authors that this idiot flames so don't take it personally. I see a flame from this idiot on a lot of the stories I read.
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  • From ANON - p423 on September 05, 2005
    wonderful story so far please keep it going
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  • From ANON - LaChoy on September 04, 2005
    You're welcome for the review. I'm glad it made you feel better. And these were great chapters.

    Just a little advice for you.

    Don't listen to any of the insults. They're not worth your time. You do have a good story here. So keep up the good work.
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  • From ANON - InuGrrrl on September 04, 2005
    I like how it's progressing. Getting a bit more lemony with each chap.
    Sesshy-sama...what is his deal? lol Is it that he's jealous or is it
    strictly a ningen thing? Hmmm...Don't keep us in suspense!
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  • From ANON - Anon on September 04, 2005
    Myoga is Inuyasha's servant. He doesn't have any loyalty to Sesshomaru and would not be obligated to report to Sesshomaru about anything. I just thought I'd point that out because you've changed the relationships in your story from what it is in the anime by making Myoga report to Sesshomaru.

    Also, there is no foundation to the rampant habit of having mates bite each other. There is no justification for it in the anime or manga. It is just one fanfiction writer copying other fanfiction writers over and over again. And now you did the same.


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  • From ANON - inugirl2003 on September 04, 2005
    Your awesome, don't listen to someone who's stupid enough to insult and not take a response by remaining annon. I had one of those too, frk them for being so cowardly. I can't wait for the next one :)
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  • From ANON - InuGrrrl on September 04, 2005
    I like your story quite a bit. I find it sweet and
    interesting. Can't wait to read fluffy's angle.
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  • From ANON - putrikagome on September 04, 2005
    Don't worry about reviews especially the very mean and nasty one. You are the Author...you take control everything. Keep on writing! That's my advise! In the end you are not only proving to yourself but also other readers who can appreciate your work that YOU CAN WRITE A FIC..!! ;)
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  • From ANON - LaChoy on September 03, 2005
    I decided to review to tell you not to listen to Anon. If you want to write these stories as one shots, then you have every right to. You're the author, not any of us. Keep up with the ONE SHOTS. I like them.
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  • From ANON - Anon on September 03, 2005
    Are you too stupid to know how to add a chapter to a story? People keep telling you NOT to keep making one shots when you are really writing a continuing story, so why do you keep doing it? Are you trying to make people angry? You are succeeding.
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  • From ANON - Tygerlily [Not Signed In] on September 03, 2005
    Nice read, somewhat short but still very nice. As I said, it was on the short side, I know it was a one-shot but I think the reader could've gotten into the story a bit more if it was fleshed out with a bit more detail. Characterization was also nicely done, but some of the speech was off. For example, I remember Shippo saying something like he'd avenge Kagome if InuYasha hurt her. Well, yeah he'd go after Inu if he hurt Kagome but I doubt he'd use the word avenge. It's just little things like that, that took away from the story itself. Not a lot know but it was noticeable - at least it was to me.

    In the end however it was a really nice read and I enjoyed it!

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