Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Reviews for A Brand-New Girl

By : Hrtofdrkns

From ANON - Jenna on January 19, 2006
I love this fic! Please continue!
Just don't make Shippo too evil. XD
But the open feelings thing with Inuyasha is totaly possible.
Update often,
-Jenna-
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on January 19, 2006
great story update

Report Review
From ANON - inu hanyou nikkie on January 19, 2006
I must say this is a very blunt and painfully straight up front story that I have ever come across. I have read stories that glosses over the rosary and Shippou' s treatment of Inuyasha. Like it was nothing. I honestly can see it. I agree with the spanking though I probably wouldn't have gone that far with punishment. But yes Shippou is VERY spoiled. very selfish and given a chance he would hurt Inuyasha. I found Shippou to be a prime example of a dirty nasty bully. And yes CHILDERN CAN BE BULLIES to ADULTS!! I have seen it and it distrubs me that they so much power over adults. And your story you have taken away any sugar coating and teddy bears and ballons from the "reality" (it is after all a manga) of the characters. I do agree with removing the rosary whole heartedly. And for the reviewer who said Kagome shouldn't be giving a damn about her schooling. YES ONLY IF she was a North American. BUT please note in Japan.. If you FAIL a grade you are require to repeat that grade AND YOU MUST complete and pass the next grade AT the same time!!! example Kagome fails grade 7 then she must take grade 7 again and be excepted to pass grade 8 the same year. PLUS they must attend Cram schools.. This is way she gets upset about her schooling. With us North Americans we just repeat that year failed. I hope to see some pretty serious (and can I request nicely detailed?) ass kicking to be handed out by Inuyasha and Kagome. I can't wait to see what will happen with Kouga. So keep up the good work.
Report Review
From ANON - PJ on January 19, 2006
Oh Shippou this plan of yours is going to get you into alot of trouble. Besides I don't think the rosary will work for you unless you are going to try and sneak it on to Inuyasha. But there isn't any spell so that means Kagome will just take it off... maybe she should put it on Shippou this time it would most likely do him some good. And yes I think Inuyasha would have opened up a bit they did agree to and he was human so he is more open then. Update soon please.
Report Review
From ANON - Bored out of my mind on January 19, 2006
So it seems like you just write for the masses, huh? Shippo, a smaller, younger version of Sess. Again, you seem to not have grasped any of the personality traits that Takahashi-san has imbued her colorful and full-dimentional characters with. You take one completely distorted aspect and simply 'run with it,' drastically and callously butchering the characters and destroying any preset relationships and connections between them, resulting in a choppy flow and almost no 'real' character dynamic and interaction. Have you ever read any of the manga (the non-Viz translations) or watched the anime (though it's mostly fillers and doesn't do justice to Takahashi's work)? Have you seen the changes, though subtle, that occur in Sess before you blatantly and hindsightingly stereotype him as 'malicious and cruel.' Maybe at the beginning he was, but you don't seem to understand the changes in his character or that he does experience emotions other than cruelty; he just doesn't express them as directly as the other characters. As for Shippo, he's a child. Children misbehave, hell I've seen them do worse than the 'pranks' he plays on Inuyasha. And Inuyasha does give him a rather cruel beating after the pranks (but alas you decided to leave that out or ignore it in favor of the 'poor man/hanyou being brutalized by Kagome the bitch and her little pansy shippo') even when Shippo simply says something that pisses him off. Spanking children (and though shippo may be older than he looks, youkai development seems to take longer than human and so he still is a child, an orphan) and deriving a sick, twisted pleasure out of it, clearly depicted in Inuyasha's reaction to the spanking, is just disgusting and inhuman. But you see no problem in carelessly and callously brutalizing people, children and women, in your work. That, to me, is the saddest thing of all.
Report Review
From ANON - Krusoe on January 15, 2006
Hate to point it out to 'dangersque' but Kouga's actually not two-timing anyone. Ayame is the product of the anime; she's a non-canon/manga character that wasn't created by Takahashi-sensei. In fact, he's (Kouga) has been pretty honest and upfront concerning his intentions with Kagome. If anyone's been misleading (not intentionally) or two-timing, it's definitely been Inuyasha.
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on January 02, 2006
dont worry about some trivial punctuation error, and get up a new chapter!! please.
Report Review
From ANON - Jessica on January 01, 2006
I really like this fic-it makes me laugh! HAHHAHA
Report Review
From ANON - dangersque on January 01, 2006
I don't know... That last chapter kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. Don't get me wrong, I'm no Shippo fan, but I just can't see him doing something that harsh. He's certainly annoying, and snotty, and maybe even a little malicious, but I doubt he'd ever be that cruel. Dropping an anvil on Inuyasha's head, I can see him doing. Impersonating Inuyasha's dead mother, not so much (He's not Sesshoumaru after all). He's not that evil, and I doubt he ever would be, even with the shitty job Kagome and the others do in setting his boundries.

It's not enough to turn me off the story, I just hated the second chapter. I can't wait until you do a Kouga chapter though, someone needs to write something that calls him out on his shit, what with the village slaughtering, and kidnapping, and (unlike Inuyasha) actual two-timing, his bullshit reason for going after Naraku, and his use of mystical steroids and such. He's not harmless, and I'll be very disappointed if you write him as such.
Report Review
From ANON - p on December 31, 2005
This is to the reviewer that talks about Inuyasha not mastering his sword yet.... the attack you are talking about is one that is new and not orginally part of the "fang" his father had created. So is the "red Tetsusiaga" and the attack with the "diamond shards" those were not part of the original design but keep in mind that not all of us have read the manga and only know what has happened in the anime so they don't know about the attack that absorbs youkai power... the "dragon scale" thingy. So as far as they are concerned Inuaysha has mastered Tetsusaiga. Anyway I like the story please update soon
Report Review
From ANON - joey on December 31, 2005
Well I think this is a pretty good story. I do think maybe Kagome might have spanked Shippou a bit too much but then agian that was a very cruel thing he did. All of them know what it is like to loose a parent. Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku and Shippou have all lost both their parents and while I don't know if Kagome's dad died he doesn't live with them nor do you ever see or hear of him so I am assuming he either left or died either way she lost him. So they all know how cruel that joke was and while spanking with the brush might have been a bit harsh we have to remember that Shippou is not human and is stronger then a human child that age so spanking open handed might not have had the effect it did with the brush. I would suggest some other type of punishment in the future. The time out was good but also taking away a privilage like his crayons, sleeping next to Kagome, not giving him candy things like that. Also maybe a day of having to do what one of the others say as long as it is within reason. Inuyasha has a tentencay (sp?) to hit first so I think some other types of punishment would be good not just for Shippou but for Inuyasha as well it would help him with his control. He did great when Shippou did that joke I really proud that he didn't loose his temper. And as far as him watching well that just added to Shippou's punishment having known that someone saw him getting his behind spanked. Just my opinion don't let others stop you from writing I think you are doing good. Please update soon.... with a new chapter.
Report Review
From ANON - Athena on December 31, 2005
Hi there! Interesting perspective you're working there. Of course Kagome was never really cruel or unfair like the first chapter made her out to be. It's just the way the people who hate her character see her as. Yes, the same people go and worship Kikyo...when SHE'S the cold bitter �@�&!. LOL. Sorry...got a little carried away there.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I LOVED the little blurb you had at the beginning 'the difference between a critical review and a flame'. I have featured it on my website http://groups.msn.com/KikyoHaters/diaryofangst.msnw?action=get_message&mview=0&ID_Message=2585 , giving you FULL props and a link to this story of course. If you do not wish to have your stuff on my site....just let me know and I will remove it, kay?

Keep up the good work!
Report Review
From ANON - Jenifer19 on December 30, 2005
This is too cute!
Damn time that Shippo get his! XD
Nicely done, please continue to update.
Report Review
From doggieearlover on December 30, 2005
I'm not sure which I liked better - the fact that Kagome finally saw what she was doing to InuYasha on a regular basis (nightmares do intend to exaggerate things, but lets face it - Kagome uses that rosary every time she is pissed to get even with InuYasha), or the fact that the annoying kit finally got what was coming to him (his mouth has actually created some of the problems between them in both the anime and manga). Anyway, I'm really enjoying it so far and am curious to see where it goes.
Report Review
From LdyMoon on December 30, 2005
I like where your going with this story. I have to say I don't care wheather he has the beads or not. It depends on the author's story. Sometimes the beads come in handy, like in episodes where it actually saved his life, but, than on other episodes, Kagome just abused it's power. So, depending on the content of the fanfic, something as small as the beads could mean a big thing. Another thing I noticed was that Inuyasha followed Kikyo without the use of beads. So, I wondered why couldn't Kagome? I'm looking forward to reading chapter three and the other chapters to follow.
Report Review