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Reviews for A Brand-New Girl

By : Hrtofdrkns
  • From ANON - karla on December 28, 2005
    i really really like your story! fuck all the flaming bastards who dont!!!
    i have a little reccommendation: first of all, your fic is going really well relationship wise, but i would really like to see a dark lemon with inu/kag.

    since the beads are off, you could have him turn youkai and no one could stop him. not even a sit. so what angsty, spanky, painful things can happen
    when you have an out of control red-eyed demon on your hands? especially to dearest Kagome.
    just a small suggestion. i think your tale is pretty good aready, but i highly demand a lemon!!!
    keep writing pleeze!
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  • From ANON - Emily on December 27, 2005
    First, your stories are about you "professor". Any writer who's worth snot knows that at least on a base level they have to relate to their story. You tell a story that you want to hear, want to tell, something you understand and want to share with the world. So saying that you and your story are two completely different things is wrong. Second, in your misplaced desire to correct what you see as a wrong you have destroyed the characters created by someone who is a FAR better story teller then yourself, and that's just sad. Third, while I understand the negative implications of the Rosary, you take it too far. You make people into things and people they are not, you ignore story elements because they aren't convinient to you. No, Kagome is not perfect. But neither is InuYasha, Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Kouga, Kikyo or anyone in the story or on Earth. Fourth, how are you making Kagome a better person, InuYasha someone to be trusted, when you include a sceen where she beats Shippo beyond reason with a hair brush? That's child abuse. Open handed is punishment, what she did is defined by the law as an "attack" and is child abuse. How horrible do you think these people are? Hell, you even have InuYasha watch with glee while she pummels the child. Fifth, Shippo is a young boy, he does what young boys do. He plays tricks and goes too far. However, even the most broken of children (and I work with some of the most broken) would find no humor in what you saw this character doing. The sad part is that all of this sick twisted material is from you. You thought of it. You wrote it. You need to concider what made you create such horror. You aren't a bad person. But your story is. I wish you luck in life.
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  • From ANON - Spud on December 27, 2005
    Very nice. I do believe Shippo got what he deserved. ^_^ You like them spanks, don't you? Kidding, kidding. Anyway, awesome chapter.
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  • From ANON - chanda on December 26, 2005
    A twisted Shippo... Look forward until the next chapter.

    Chanda
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  • From ANON - Lynn on December 25, 2005
    Hello again!

    Good chapter, although alow me to point out two thing. In my opinion, Kagome would never spank Shippo. She's just not like that. You gave her enough reason to take off the rosary. I could even imagine her making Shippo to apologize to InuYasha, but not the spanking. Once again, it is just my opinion. Also, Shippo may be a brat, and he goes on Inu's nerves, but he is not cruel. Not like that, anyway. In the series, the only person who's shape he takes on is Kagome, and it is only to make InuYasha feel better. Of course that just annoyes him all the more, but Shippo meant well. So he is annoying all right, but not cruel. I think so, at least.

    I don't mean offence with that, it is just what I think, others may think otherwise. You can call that criticism, I guess.
    Hope I didn't make you angry or anything.

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

    Lynn
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  • From ANON - Rawben on December 25, 2005
    oh crap... dont do it shippo! lol...
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  • From ANON - alix on December 24, 2005
    Great story and while I agree the rosary was used wrongly alot of times.... I do wonder if Inuyasha turned full youkai if it had been better if she left them on him or found another way to "subdue" him until she could get the sword back to him. That would be the only reason I can see that he would need them.
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  • From ANON - PJ on December 24, 2005
    Great start. I think she uses that rosary too often and doesn't need it anymore anyways. Maybe at first to keep him from "killing" her but after they started working together then no. Although Inuyasha needs to understand that she needs to go back to her time to try and keep up with her schooling. But yes she also coddles Shippou he needs some boundaries and such because he does act like a brat sometimes. Plus when Inuyasha had the rosary Shippou & even Miroku has sometimes "tricked" Kagome into Sitting him. Yes Kagome did abuse it she would use it when she got just a bit ticked off or if he was a bit rude instead of telling him he was rude or whatever. I am glad she took it off and Shippou so deserved that spanking. What he did was very wrong. Please update soon.
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  • From ANON - lemon_ice on December 24, 2005
    personnaly i disagree with you about the rosary. it happened in wheezambu's the 'youkai and the exterminator' and i didn't particullarily agree with it then. i think that when inuyasha turns into a demon, and even when he REALLY looses his temper he can get out of control. true she MAY have used it a little to much, or on some wrong occasions, but think that the rosary was very neccesary for quite some time. maybe eventually, no strike that, PROBABLY, almost for sure i thinkt that the rosary wouldnt be necdcesary eventually, but i thik that that would still be a long ways away. but then maybe that s when your story is? well whatever, i still went with it, and it was ok. i liked the opening dream sequence, though ittotally confused me at first. but i didn't like what you had shippo do, or really the whole second chapter. it jsut didnt; seem to..... accurate? i dont know, i didn' like the spanking thing, it jsut didnt work for me. but other than that, your story could perhaps have some potential, i cant really say for sure, as i dont know where your story is going yet, but just from what i have read, it seems like it does have some potential.
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  • From ANON - InuGrrrl on December 24, 2005
    LOLOLOL! WOOT!
    That was priceless. I'm glad kagome
    finally whacked him one. Sometimes
    he's such a damn brat! Nice chappie.
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  • From ANON - You don't need to know on December 24, 2005
    I really enjoy reading your work, because your fics are 'deeper' than most fanfics and give me something to think about. Anyway please continue with the story.

    By the way: This is Inu/Kag romance, right? (please let it be. Anything else I believe is wrong or 'unnatural')
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  • From ANON - Anon on December 08, 2005
    cool fucker want to do a lemon with me
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  • From ANON - Shaehl on December 06, 2005
    This looks promising. Can't wait for the next update.
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  • From ANON - sharon on December 01, 2005
    no this isnt a flame nore a corrective critism...this is a compliment...perfect way to show inuyasha's point of view to kagome...keep it up.
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 30, 2005
    Okay I agree with the over use of the rosary. And I agree with the above reviewer on most things. I just wanted to point out one thing though, in the manga volumes 425-431, very recent. the latest updates. Inuyasha hadn't mastered the Tetsusiaga yet. Those chapters covered it the training that Toutousou sent him to get because the fang was absorbing so many attacks and Inuyasha hadn't mastered it yet.

    Page 14

    1
    [Inuyasha looks down in surprise to find Kikyou kissing him on the lips, with her eyes closed.]
    fx Kikyou *move gently...*
    Inuyasha !

    Mild translation of the manga, Kikyou does kiss Inuyasha in the manga. He doesn't run off to sleep with her like some fanfic imply but she did kiss him. It didn't look like he kissed her back in my opinion.

    But I'm sure the sit commands are painful, eating dirt can't help but be. There is a little over usage of it I think. For this story I like it, I'd like to see an update. Keep up the good work.

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