Click Here!

Reviews for The Sun and the Moon

By : GrayWolf
  • From ANON - Lore on February 14, 2006
    This is a great story!!! I think it's very well written and I love reading it.

    (you don't have to review my story but if you like my penname is Lengliorla)
    Report Review

  • From ANON - djl on February 13, 2006
    ok this is for the latest chapter... intense dream there... more like nightmare... very good chapter... I liked it... anyway tahnx for the link to your story... I needed something to read since aff.net is down...eesh.... anyway until next chapter
    Report Review

  • From GrayWolf on February 05, 2006
    Hello fellow readers, I know This really sucks, I have my chapter ready to go. You can always go to my site www.vampiredreams.tk and go to my messege board on there and check out the new chapt. then possibly come back here and review. Sorry for the inconviance. It's the sites fault! >.< -Laura

    PS it should be up within 3 days ( chapter 11)
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Anon2 on February 04, 2006
    I had seen this fic before and I think that you have potential. So I have a couple of tips. If you want to keep your formatting, use the text cut and paste option for loading the chapter. At the top of your page type in < p r e > without the spaces then at the bottom, type in < / p r e > without the spaces.

    Now for a writing tip. The readers are not in your head, so you must put in the finer details. I know that it's a pain in the ass, but it will help the readers and make for more depth to your story. You're already on your way there. I would suggest that after you write a chapter, go back and read it and see if everyting that is in your head has gotten to your readers. Such as, when the fight on the water was going on, were the characters close enough to shore for Inuyasha to drift there. Too far out and he would have sunk to the bottom of the ocean. In your mind, could you smell the salt of the sea spray? What color was the water? We know something of what the characters are feeling by their actions and words, but describing it in more details makes it more real for the reader. Pull the reader into your world to see the colors, sounds and smells, the characters emotions. You're already doing it a little, but you need to spend more time going back and adding what you see that your readers don't. How do I know? My own progress. Reading my first fic, it's not far from where you are now. If you want to get the jist of what I mean, read authors like mshutts, AmberRose, demonlordlover, Resmiranda. There is a host of names that I could list, but I cannot remember them all at the moment.

    I only do these type of reviews where I see hard work and potential. So, don't take this as a flame or even as constructive criticism. They are helpful tips to someone that I know cares enough about their work to keep them in mind. That's all. ^_^


    Report Review

  • From ANON - Anon on February 04, 2006
    oh oh i wanna know what happens write more or...die
    Report Review

  • From ANON - inufangirl007 on January 27, 2006
    poor sess! great chapter though, please update soon!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Lakiesha on January 27, 2006
    Please continue i want to know will inuyasha wake up from his comma and which brother will be get pregnant it would be neat if both did.
    Report Review

  • From on January 24, 2006
    hey, sorry im not reviewing ur story right now, ill read it later ^^;

    but thanks for attempting to read my memories story and adding it to your list! I'm very appreciative ^^
    Report Review

  • From ANON - kenya on January 22, 2006
    this is not kosher man. cliff hangers!!!! Please lets move this along with some more additions to the story. This is rocking!!!!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - inufangirl007 on January 21, 2006
    WHAT? inu is still in pain! i hope he dosen't look to bad. Is there really such a thing as erectile dysfynction? please update soon!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - djl on January 17, 2006
    noooooooooooooooooo... I cannot take the cliffhangers.... oh well it was a good chapter... I will be back to read the next chapter
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Lou on January 16, 2006
    highly amusing, i like it, cant wait for more

    Report Review

  • From ANON - Princess Sin on January 11, 2006
    erectile dysfunction. well i guess she could have
    come up with worst. wonderful story so far. i can't
    wait for the next chapter.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - djl on January 11, 2006
    cool beans... really good chapter. I enjoyed the moments with Sesshomaru and InuTaisho trying to figure the present out. That was interesting... cannot wait to see what happens next
    Report Review

  • From ANON - inufangirl007 on January 10, 2006
    i love the way u described the village! please update soon!
    Report Review

T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!