Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Reviews for Nikanaru

By : Koday

From ANON - Sweet. on November 16, 2006
Again, a neat little comglomeration of various original and borrowed elements from the Inu series. Despite your worries, the action scenes were pulled off pretty well, and I really like Max's internal monologue.

I also like how Max is almost the polar opposite of whom I suspect to be his father... it should make for an interesting reuinion if and when it happens!
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From ANON - szaugglaughs on November 16, 2006
well...that was lovely. Lucky enough to have missed this before and simply get ot read it all in one go...and end on the fucking cliffhanger of doom, crap. Still, great.

I am enjoying it very much, angst and all. I think Max's personal thought processes are great: punchy and funny and yet still havce that level of depth at the right moments.

You said you wanted stuff to make it better, yes? well, the one thing that really stood out to me as off, reading the whole darn thing, as it were, was the rape revelation moment in the highschool. The gal who was raped: I could see her friends being so furious that they might blurt that out, but for the girl to blurt it out herself seemed, i don't know, off. Maybe it's more that most rape victims I know are so ashamed by the thing that they don't tend to talk about it, even when they're under a great deal of stress. of course, everyone's different, I suppose it's just that my own vicarious experiences with that particular subject made that moment seem 'off.'

That said, the bit with the 'favorite' classes cracked me up, His diary made me laugh out loud, and the descriptions of action in the fight scenes was very clear and visually strong. And the crapload of Naraku's was, honestly, very creepy. Nicely done with the voices coming out of different people: I read the damn thing at 5 in the morning, in the dark, and it gave me shivers, heh.

I look forward to the next chapter.
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From ANON - MetsukiKaraTen on November 16, 2006
Just finished Chapter 9 and I'm still panting. Wow!! It was so smooth I could swear you had wrapped me in silk, and yet at the same I was on the edge of my seat (it's amazing I didn't drop to the floor... precarious position, that.) I couldn't help the enthusiastic "Huzzah!" (the neighbors must be wondering wtf I am up to over here)when Max began to experience that sheer delight in his abilities, and found the 'compromise' between his need and his conscience as he developed his strategy in fighting that mob. The angst was tangeable, as he made the only possible decision he could come to. I have enjoyed this work from the beginning, and this last chapter was a work of art IMHO. The mechanism of Al's call going unanswered added just exactly the right amount of urgency from that perspective. I am anxiously awaiting your next update... (you are now officially my 'literary action idol'...I wanna be Koday when I 'grow up'!! *smirk*)
MKT
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From ANON - Sacred_Sagittarius on November 15, 2006
I have no friggen clue how I missed your story before but after swearing profusely I dived in and read everything you had posted as of yesterday, then called MetsukiKaraTen and told her to get to reading too! Bitch beat me to the review....*grumble* I have to say that you've got me hooked and considering the dark looks my sister is casting my way for hogging up the computer when she wanted to use it I'd say it's time well spent. BTW Infested ppl are creepy much, never really seen that used as a Naraku trick before and I gotta say it's awesome! You really did an excellent job with description, normally I have to rely heavily on my stupendous mental powers to see the picture and let it play out but you've got a knack. Descriptions like how the tendrils could be seen moving the skin and discoloring it...yup another discusted shiver ran up my back just now at the thought. EWWW NARAKU IS INSIDE SOUTA!!! BLECH! I love your origional characters and completely LOVE MAX. Anything more said on that and I'll start sounding like some obsessive fangirl. I can't wait to find out how your gonna explain the hows and whys. I know you keep asking for honest criticism but other than the rare typo or dropped word I've found no reason whatsoever to complain. I'm wavering between two or three possible scenarios to explain Max's conception, or at least the reasoning behind it. Most involve Naraku yanking on puppet strings like he's known to do. I think I remember one of your A/N mentioning that you had diffuculty when switching to action description, chapter 9 flowed nicely IMHO and Naraku is completely in character given the circumstances...stinky showboating bastard that he is. I know you've got something deliciously demented cooking...*sigh* Waiting with bated breath for more...starting to ting blue here... Thanks for the great read, I'm looking forward to more!

S_S
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From ANON - Bud-ay on November 15, 2006
Pretty intruiging thus far. Ordinarily, I really despise original characters, but Max seems pretty cool. A bit vapid and stereotypically jock-like sometimes, but still pretty chill. I'm glad you give us some insight into his thoughts so we can know that he's a little deeper than we initially suspect. Al's also a good foil for him.

I like this... wanna see more. So sh'mon!
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From ANON - red sky on November 15, 2006
i really love this story and cant wait to read more, hope you add another chapter soon. I will be waiting in anticipation of what will develope next, its original so far and i love your creativity.

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From ANON - MetsukiKaraTen on November 14, 2006
Wow... whew... ch. 8 had me gripped and mistier than I care to cop to. Am enjoying this very much, and looking forward to future updates. Are you keeping a list? add dropbox13@hotmail.com to it if you are... cheers
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From ANON - Dyquem on November 13, 2006
I haven't even read it yet, but I'm really glad to see it. I'd forgotten about it until I saw the update. Don't go away so long next time.
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From ANON - Scorpinac on August 18, 2006
Well, finally caught up with the last four chapters, and actually, yeah, I think you were right in saying Buyo was dead by this point, though that was kind of sad for him, dying in that way. Guess curiosity really does kill the cat, huh? Oh, well.

And a tiny bit of Naraku's essence is still around, huh? Jeeze, what's it take to put that bastard permanently in the ground?! Though I must admit I thought at first it was gonna turn out the "cop" was Kagura or an adult Kanna. And it looks like that piece ditched the now dead unfortunate host and taken over the, as proclaimed by Max/Nikanru, ultimate Bitch Queen from Hell! Can't wait for chapter 8, though by your DA site, you've already got that and the next two done. And interestingly enough, after reading the first paragraph of chapter 7, I guessed that the answer was gonna be "she's always seen the real him!". Hehheh! Well, laters!
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From ANON - Stranger on June 16, 2006
Wow, its getting really good. Keep it up! Update soon!
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From ANON - Me! ^_^ on April 30, 2006
This is an awesome story. It is really funny at times. You should keep writing! =]
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From ANON - swasdiva (not signed in) on April 25, 2006
*Welcome to 'Which whiny, overplayed teeny-punk song best fits your emo teenage existence?'!!!!! Our obnoxious, but oh-so-hilariously appropriate choices today are:*

1) "Bad Day" - Daniel Powter
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

*Uh, for you Maximus Higurashi, courtesy of a transgender Naraku, a severe understatement!! Choice number two!!*

2) "Untitled" - Simple Plan (Don't you mean, so sucky it's not worthy of a name? off topic...)
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I�ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I�m fading away
I�m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

*Well, I think we have a winner! Max Higurashi, I'd say you're having more than a bad day! The question of the chapter is definitely 'How could this happen to me...er...you?!' Let's hope those swords from China are what we readers *think* they are!!! And let's hope you use that wonderful comic book creativity of yours and follow spidey in his quest to make the perfect super-hero disguise!!! And let's hope, our newly revealed meaning for the fanfic title 'Nikanaru', that the mystery surrounding Al soon comes to the forefront!!! Something suspicious about that girl...as in 'fellow-demon', 'reincarnation' or 'miko' suspicious! AND (last 'and' I swear) let's hope Naraku trips over his high-heels right before he blasts you away with either miko energy or miasma (take your pick!)!!! I, for one, am obviously uber-excited at the perilous thrill of your near-death experience! Thanks for risking it all just for my entertainment!!! I adore this fic and will definitely tune in next...uh...update!!!*

~Okay, and I'm done with the psycho TV announcer thing...I apologize in advance if you like either of those songs, but they make my ears bleed unless someone is using them in a spoof video. I think I'm officially a 'Nikanaru' groupie. And...I can't stop my fingers from typing...~
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From swasdiva on April 25, 2006
(Sweet crap on a platter. The THIRD part of my review from above. Apparently your fic warrants its own trilogy. *Calls Peter Jackson to direct the epic*)

Uh, right...just...ignore me! Well, read the rest of damn review I took the time to write, and then ignore me!

Okay! So...even though I would most likely sculpt a 40 foot bronze statue of the character of your choice (preferrably Max since he's yours?) if SxK happened to be the case...you've got so many unanswered questions and probable speculations going that I wonder exactly how simple or complex this twist is going to be. I mean, SxK spitting out a baby would be an obvious choice, but then why would the baby be full youkai? Actually, is he *really* full youkai, or is that tail of his a giveaway to hanyou heritage? After all, Inuyasha had ears, and I remember Jinenji's mom (what a great piece of 'even-useless-on-Jeopardy' knowledge!) saying that hanyous were generally a crap-shoot as far as what came out. Maybe he's a really lucky hanyou?? I've read fics before where Kagome, being a miko, had a full-demon kid, but then others where the kid was barely demon or full human, since, duh, her holy powers would purify the demonic energy. So there's that...uh...possibility (?? I even confused myself there...). BUT, this kid *could* be...well...he *could* be Sesshoumaru himself! I know, huh? but I'm wondering if something happened to the jewel and maybe Sesshoumaru himself was somehow wished back to the modern era as a baby...chance at another life? A way to understand humans?? Okay, well, if he isn't Sesshoumaru, he's obviously his kid...did Sesshou do the nasty with a demon chick and, since he knew about the well via Kagome, use it in a last, desperate attempt to save his kid??

If he *is* (wait...was? 500 years ago...*_* brain-sprain) with Kagome, did he have to defend her exactly as his father did for Inuyasha's mother?? That would be so SAD!!!!!!

Really and truly, while all this blubbering debating is a testament to how much I'm enraptured with this story, as far as your intentions...I HAVE NO GODLY IDEA!!!

But then, that's the beauty of great talent. Please, keep us guessing, keep us on our toes with your wicked turn of phrase and your moving story. I love every dimension, every angle, every theme, and obviously, every chance I get to piece together a well-planned and expertly scattered puzzle. Amazing, *a-mazing* work!!
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From swasdiva on April 25, 2006
(The other half of my all-important review got lobbed off, so here it is, in its entirety. I'm 'Anon' from above...nay...I am...swasdiva~!!! *Antonio Banderas voice*)

Your style is instantly affable. It's fresh, irreverent, hilarious, but also harnesses a talent of Takahashi-san herself: the ability to flip between humor and horror in the breadth of a moment and make it all honestly believable. While some are familiar characters, sure, you've infused them with a solid depth. And your OCs...well, Max, Al, his friends and potential girlfriend are probably some of the most multi-faceted OCs I've read in a long time. I could *instantly* see Max in my mind (in anime style, however. Your sketches are *wondrous!* but ah, it's force of habit). I could see his moves and mannerisms as if I was watching the show itself. Your writing is very adept and making your words *real*, so real they pop off the screen and right (zot! they just popped) into my imagination.

Now...praise for general writing skill aside...I hope to ALL that is GOOD and HOLY that the *blatant* Sesshoumaru connection develops into what I currently most adore in IY fanfiction (as evidenced by the story I lauded above)...the SesshoumaruxKagome-alternate-pairing-of-fabulousness!!! I mean, two years passed before Max showed up!! ANYTHING can happen, right??? A human-hating Taiyoukai can suddenly fall unabashedly for a clumsy human girl from the future who used to swoon after his despised hanyou half-brother, right???? RIGHT???? (
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From ANON - Anon on April 25, 2006
Since the completion of my mammoth-epic fanfiction obsession of choice 'Tales from the House of the Moon' by Resmiranda, I resigned myself to the fact that nothing I read hence could begin to compare in originality, tone, voice, action, tenderness, pacing, and general fabulousness.

I, however, am a humble girl, and will adamantly admit when I'm wrong.

This fic has got me *hooked*. I, myself, feel like I stepped on the neon-lit dance pad of my own obnoxious arcade game, and I'm expending more energy than I ever thought possible. Your story has me so fully engaged and responsive that I swear I've lost ten pounds just from gasping, jerking with uncontrollable laughter, and tensing to the point of a migraine. I. am. in. love. with. this. fic.

. (
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