Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Reviews for Angel Lips

By : ladykumorioftherose

From ANON - kagome on September 05, 2006
wow O.O i loved it but i cant beleve hojo an kagome of all people wow what a bitch kagome is for hurting inuyasha but then again she was drunck an you do, do stuff that you regret after trust me i now ~.o but i'm glad that she new it was wrong an thats wut make it a good story well done up date soon k bai bai
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From ANON - angel face 132 on September 05, 2006
well done very well done plz up date i wont to see wut happins
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From ANON - crystalbrite*123 on September 03, 2006
beautiful! i cried! BRAVO!
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From ANON - jenna on August 28, 2006
It's ok...could be better and longer...next chappie please
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From SFPANTHER on August 19, 2006
As I can see there seems to be a lack of adults behaving like adults here.

I am going to do this because as a fanfiction writer I feel the need to do so and no I haven't read the story. I would rather read the reviews and see what people have to say about the story.

Daniella... I don't know who you are and after your information I don't want to. The author was kind enough to post a link about this subject on her author profile. We did not need you to come on this review board and take it up with your explination. We are adults here and indeed know what a "pap smear" is. We did not need to know about your mother and your father. That sort of thing should have been sent via e-mail. It makes me as a 29 year old female think that you want to try to outdo the author's friend situation. You jumped to conclusions. Like I said I haven't read the story but in your first line you made the decission that "Brandi" got this from a one night stand. So do you know Brandi personally? Do you know that to be a fact? This was not a review for her story, this was something I have no idea about, you seem to want us all to feel sorry for you and think you are smarter than the author. Another thing that riled me about you is this even if you think you have a faithful spouse-and get a vaccination as well

Let me tell you something. I have been married for three years and my husband is VERY faithful to me. Neither one of us has any std's. I don't appreciate this one little bit that sentence. Get a vaccination? WTF is your issue with this? What you need to do is stop preaching to everyone and keep ideas like that to yourself. You say that if you get the vaccination your body will build up an immunity to it and you will never contract it? Sweetie, nothing is fool proof. Your giving out false information. Do us all a favor and stop.

XxSangoxX.. Just because you have a bunch of stuff up, don't go trashing her work. Maybe she is a beginning writer. If she wants to write her characters OOC that is her business. Hey look at this.. His name is spelled KOUGA not Koga. If she wants Kouga and InuYasha to be friends in her fic that is her buisness. That's the loveliness of fanfiction. YOu make the characters how you see them. Before you go trashing someone elses work.. LEARN TO SPELL THE CHARACTERS NAMES RIGHT! If you want to argue, look on the catergory listing here.. It is indeed spelled Kouga.

Trina.. All I can say is you don't own AFF and she has a right to be here just as you do. Lay off.

YOu all need to lay off this author and give her a chance. That is all.

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From ANON - Anon on August 18, 2006
interesting. could be longer and alot better.
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From ANON - nightbird on August 16, 2006
*smiles* i hope you keep going with this, as far as i'm concerned it is far better than most of the shit you can find on these websites. and you're right, many of the stories here are idealistic I would say your friend is lucky to have you! *smirks* besides it's easy to flame someone and usually very cowardly. especially when you have no writing talent and don't know what courage it take to post somehing on one of these sites. and so i sluate you...i haven't quite your courage heh.
anyway the story rocks, i'm not sure if i were Inuyasha i would be so forgvign but again no one's perfect. Keep up the good work. i look forward to your next post
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From ANON - Paula on August 15, 2006
Being an author means being able to accept he good reviews as well as the flames. Even professional writers don't always get good reviews. Alot of authors that are published now have several stories that they were told were absolute crap and we will never see them. Having (or pretending that) your friend is sticking up for you because of a bad review of flame is ridiculous. You need to take time to think out the story line before posting even if it means writitng the whole story first the posting chapters at intervals. That you want your stories to reflect real life is great...alot more
writers should, but you need to flesh out the story line, get the readers into the story. Example these are questions that the first chapter brings up. Why did she go to the party...what type of personality are you giving her, is she a party girl; a shy girl that got talked into going; was it an accident that she drank too much; did some one drug her; did she come back to the feudal era drunk; did she sleep it off first then go; did she realize on her own what had happened and decided to admit it to Inuyasha; did he smell Hojo on her and confront her; when did Kagome and Inuyasha become lovers?. What type of personality are you giving Inuyasha. Who is Sage; why is a cat demon with a wolf tribe; at what point are Koga and Inuyasha friends. It'd great that you want to write, talented writers are a gift to avid readers like myself. Right now I'm in the middle of writing 2 stories and I want to finish them before I start posting. After i finish them I'm going to get a beta who is not a close friend because I want honest criticism on my story (and I know my friends will try not to hurt my feelings). Here are 2 pages that helped me alot in my writing so that my stories would be not only enjoyable to the readers (reviewers) but also to myself. I mean I don't like reading stuff that's not well written...so why would I inflict bad stories on others. I hope this helps. Your story idea is a good one...it just needs work. http://forum.mediaminer.org/index.php?t=msg&th=31606&start=0&
http://uvebeenreviewed.livejournal.com/5115.html

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From ANON - Daniella on August 07, 2006
First of all I am guessing your friend "Brandi" got that sexual disease from a one night stand as described in your short story which was a silent tribute to her. My mom has one type of its [60 or more] form and it is not visible from the outside ut in her vaginal cavity under a microscope one could detect things, and the problem is that it can cause cancer that is why you always have to make that person get a check up. The visible kind looks like cauliflower that has become rotten and can occur on both male and females. The "invisible to the nakes eye one" is generally harmful to only females, but since their are so many mutating forms enough of those will harm males. As in your story someone cheated-except it was my dad, he gave it to her, he was an unfaithful bastard, and she was always faithful. Now, she won't take another partner, not because her strand is harmful to males but because when {not if} the guy sleeps with another female it would be dangerous for her. The papilomova virus is extremely common and this is why every year females older than 20 {or as soon as you become active} should get checked for the virus, they call it the 'pap scan' and it can save your life after they give you mediation to control it. My mother almost died before she found out, but they soon controlled the abnormality in her vaginal linings. The good news is if you are a virgin and get a vaccination for the virus there is a good chance you will never contract it in your life because you will build an immunity. The bad news is if you aren't a virgin it will not be as effective, BUT it will still work! So please, check yurselves at least once a year-even if you think you have a faithful spouse-and get a vaccination as well. My sincerest sympathy towards Brandi, tell her at least its not as bad as AIDS and that thousands of men and female in the States have it.
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From ANON - Little Jack 2 on July 05, 2006
Man poor Kagome and Inuyasha,that was a great first chapter keep up the good work and update soon please.That was really touching how Kagome said goodbye to Inuyasha.
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From ANON - Lord Roushijin on July 04, 2006
Hehehe, well, I must say: Bravo!!

Now that, that's out of the way, let's get down to the nitty gritty. I believe this story has alot of potental! I really do. And yes, I have two stories posted...so please don't ge upset at me...hehehe. I'm just teasing. Me being a girl, I understand the anger with that, but being an author...you kinda get used to those kinds of Review's and you just learn to ignore. XP

Sometimes, I just get pissy and don't write for months. But anyways, I got side tracked..hahaha. In your story, which is alittle tiny winy short, I think Inuyasha should so just dominant over Kagome. Like take charge in bed and get her back. Ooooh, that would be so freaken awesome.

Have Inuyasha just take Kagome rough, hard, and leaving Reader's totally at your mercy..hehehe.

But anyways please continue. Ignore the snide remarks of the rude Reviewer's, you'll do just fine and if you have trouble with writing some parts: Just email me. That's it. I'll help ya out. If you need some ideas too, go and check out my stories. They can help with creativity and inspiration. Hahaha, I do that too. So don't feel bad. Reading other Author's stories helped me alot.

Well, update!! I'll be forced to leave long Review's on here if you don't!! Got that!!!
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