Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for 2 hearts 1 mind

By : Inugasha
  • From RadioActiveOrange on May 29, 2008
    God. I cannot help it. Your story is awful...as are your others.
    YOUR spelling errors that crack me up:
    STORY as in ONE story...is not spelled "Storie"
    NARAKU is spelled NARAKU not Neroku or however the fuck you spelled it.
    JEWEL which is one of the easiest damn things to spell (Considering 90% of all stories have the word "Jewel" in it.)
    By the way. Your "storie" isn't really a story. Its more like....two paragraphs, with really SUPER bad punctuation and grammar...and spelling, that are SO atrocious I can't help but leave a bad critique review. You seriously should delete all your stories, rewrite them, beta them, spell check them, grammar check them, and THEN re-post them. Yes, your stories are THAT horrible.
    Report Review

  • From ElementalDemonessSorceress on March 02, 2008
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
    Report Review

  • From ElementalDemonessSorceress on June 03, 2007
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
    Report Review

  • From ElementalDemonessSorceress on April 06, 2007
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
    Report Review

  • From ANON - karine_snake on September 20, 2006
    Ok, I don't want you to be angry with me but... I read two of your story and it's always the same... there is too much of "and". Now I don't say that your storie is shit because I did like it. But try to cut the "and" a little. And do not forget to tell how is talking. Anyway, can't wait to read more.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - lulu on September 05, 2006
    O.O is all i will say plz update
    Report Review

  • From ANON - crystalbrite*123 on September 03, 2006
    it was angsty.if i was kags i would cut that ho'
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Golden on August 20, 2006
    I love it!!!

    But you might want to do something like this : "Where did she go?"
    and not : Where did she go?

    ((just an example))
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Jessica on August 17, 2006
    You have absolutely no idea what you're doing, do you?
    Did you even revise the story before posting it?

    Well, here is some advice
    A: put quotations on the text when someone is speaking.
    B: tell the reader her was speaking after they start talking

    [/quote]
    So your telling me this is her jewal shard the only way to get here.(Then she must have saw me and Kikyou and then she must have heard what I said to Kikyo.Oh no what have I done to you Kagome.)Im going after her and bringing her back I promise you all that.So Inuyasha your going to make a promise the sameone one you all most made to Kagome.Wow Inuyasha you really care about her that much that you said that not knowing she was there how does that not surprise me.
    [/quote]

    Who was speaking just then?
    Inuyasha? Sango? Miroku?
    Well, I suggest you use proper punctuation when writing a story. And please revise it before posting, there were a lot of spelling errors.

    But otherwise, you're story is quite interesting and I hope to see more of it.
    Report Review

  • From Inugasha on August 15, 2006
    Great storie
    Report Review

  • From XxSangoxX on August 14, 2006
    btw.. I am that ANON... for some reason my damn computer didn't show that i WAS signed in when i posted that... you should read some of my stories....

    And heed the advice that i presented in my long ass comment above.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Anon on August 14, 2006
    okay, I have a few suggestions...

    first, you might want to relook the point of view that you are using,
    you seem to combine and that just gets confusing. I am going to try my best
    to control my tongue, and not make this a flame.. only a suggestion...
    as a fellow writer.

    so continuing on... spacing is a big issue, you need to format this better, try using spacing to seperate dialogue from different speakers. Make it clearer who is speaking by doing this and perhaps checking up on your spelling and word usage. another thing is that, your chapter being as short as it is... does nothing to really catch a readers full attentions to want to come back and read more, and sadly it starts in what you write as a summary. IF you had mostly all correct spelling within the summary then perhaps more hits on your story would come your way. comments as well. you don't want comments from people who are ignorant... you want comments that are helpful from people who actually understand the writing and the words that you use. A big clumped up paragraph as a chapter does nothing to enthrall or exude any excitment from me .... The whole theme that you are TRYING to do, is sadly very redundant and over done. Everyone does, kagome sees inu with kikyo and runs off.. type it into the search for summaries and you will get like fucking 100 stories with the same plotline. truth be told there needs to be MORE of a plot here, the first chapter and the summary are what pull your reader in and make them itch for more... try changing this a bit more, and you will be PLEASANTLY surprised with the change in readers that you get.


    ^_^

    spacing and editing are your friends.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Sam on August 14, 2006
    Hi you might want to add lines between dialouge when different people speak. and use " for talking and ' for personal thougts of the charactor
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Ashley on August 14, 2006
    I really loved the storie an dI might add a chapter of my own but just a nother day and who ever says it sucks go to hell because shes a good artest and writer so there.
    Keep it up.
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!