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Reviews for A Promise To The Betrayed

By : kimisan
  • From Kula on January 17, 2008
    Such a great story , I hope you continue on with it.
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  • From KagomeMinamino on November 28, 2007
    This is a really good fic...and I hope you update again soon...its almost been a year! :( I want to know what happens next!
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  • From cowgirlkitten2000 on April 15, 2007
    very interesting story so far. i've really enjoyed reading it so far. please update again when u get the chance
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  • From ANON - D on March 02, 2007
    Really like this so far!!!

    Keep up the awesome work

    Deb
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  • From Nekoastrid on January 17, 2007
    O,O wooooo I love your story! its a great crossover with a great story line but still very erotic. your a great writer and I hope you finish it.
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  • From ANON - danzapalooza on January 13, 2007
    This story is amazing!! Please update!
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  • From ANON - Anon on December 26, 2006
    luv it!!! creepy... is the killer after kagome? and wut does the killer want with the girl's organs ugg update soon
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  • From ANON - madmiko on December 25, 2006
    Wow!! Awesome chapter! Loved every minute of it! I don't know who's worse -- Kurama or Kagome. Love that they're such a fun couple! (Backseat of the car while parents are coming? Are they 16?) ;) Great little mystery going on, too. Can't wait to find out more of what that's all about. I really can't wait for your next chapter!! This was an awesome Christmas gift!
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  • From ANON - Cancan227 on December 24, 2006
    Naughty Naughty!!!
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  • From ANON - Babygirl on December 24, 2006
    loved it. I can't wait to find out who is doing the killing. I do hope that you update again soon. Untill then keep up the great work.
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  • From ANON - Kage Otome (NSI) on December 24, 2006
    An excellent chapter! Are you feeling better (off the meds and recovered)? Anyway, it was as I said an excellent chapter, will Kurama put together that Kagome matches the description of the girls (or rather that the girls all share the same features as her) Is it one of her old enemies? Anyway, keep up the excellent work!
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  • From ANON - Beggar on December 24, 2006
    Holy shit! I think I came in my pants. Excuse me while I go change my panties.
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  • From ANON - MIAmax(nsi) on December 24, 2006
    ah ha, i wish for you to update this as soon as you can. the mamy stories you have are wonderful! now to the Art mobile! (I had WAY too much sugar)
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  • From ANON - Helpful Penguin on December 24, 2006
    "The motion of her hand continued as hot fluid gushed out of the tip. The hot cum landed on her cheek and lips as the shaft jerked. The hand loosened in her hair as she lifted her head. A finger ran along her cheek wiping the essence off."

    Read this section carefully and closely. You'll notice, if you step back for a moment, that from the looks of this passage, there are no actual people involved in this scene -- just isolated body parts and fluids, floating about and haphazardly hooking up in odd combinations. Now, go back and re-read the rest of the lemons in this fic (and, to be perfectly honest, many of your other fics too,) and you'll notice the exact same thing, far too many instances for me to pick out here. This disconcerting problem is easily remedied with the use of possessive nouns and pronouns - "Kagome's," "Kurama's," "her," "his." Please do.

    And also, if I may, you have a (not uncommon) tendency to overuse passive voice. "A sound was heard," "A pen was dropped," that sort of thing. Passive voice is confusing and vague; the subject is being acted upon, and not acting. Try instead to switch around your sentences and use a stronger verb: "Kagome heard," "He dropped," etc.
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  • From ANON - Ryukotsusei on December 24, 2006
    I'm still of the opinion those two are insatiable. It wouldn't surprise me if he convinces her to allow someone to watch them one of these days lol Good chapter, can't wait to read more. Update soon please.
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