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Reviews for Eternal Struggle

By : Haku120
  • From on June 24, 2007
    RE: Beta for battle story

    Good deal. I hope to have it done by next weekend or at the latest the following Monday. Just let me know where to send it so that you can have a look at it and so on and so forth.

    Thanks Keva
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  • From ChrisScott on December 30, 2006
    Couldn't have put it better myself lol *clap clap clap
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  • From ANON - DrkLazarus on December 30, 2006
    Okay. First, your two versions are not so terribly different that they warrant a seperate chapter each. There is no significant dialogue or plot differences, only structure of your sentences, which is external and less important.

    Second. You need more meat to a chapter. A paragraph, does not a story make. You could have easily jammed parts one and two together, and it still would have been a very small chapter.

    Rules on sturcture: (God, I oughta save these somewhere and just paste them in from now on...)

    Speech *ALWAYS* requires a new paragraph, either containing the speech itself, or immediatley after it. There is no excuse and no reason to not paragraph after someone speaks. That is not to say that you cannot squeeze a few adverbs after the speech, but it *MUST* be paragraphed quickly.

    When paragraphing, *ALWAYS* double space. Solid blocks of text are intimidating, and make reading difficult. It's akin to TyPinG lIKe THiS ALl THe TimE. It takes longer to read, and it is more work mentally to read it.

    Be nice to your readers, and you're more likely to get well constructed, thoughtful and meaningful reviews instead of "good job. cant wait 4 more. hurry and write more. MOAR!"

    Be descriptive. You're trying to tell us a story, don't make us work out the details on our own. It's your world we're in, you're our guide. We know, see, smell, hear, feel, and taste nothing, unless you make us.

    I hope that helps. If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail me. Glad to see such an orginal idea, and I hope you continue with it.

    ~Laz
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  • From ANON - Anti-Tryst on December 30, 2006
    THAT'S WHY IT'S AU YOU DUMB NUT!
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  • From ANON - mane~ on December 30, 2006
    what the fuck...inuyasha is a girl?! o-O eather you know nothing of the story inuyasha, or a your a complete idiot..
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