Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for A Night At The Office

By : QueenOfIce21031
  • From MasterOfThebes on March 27, 2009
    i enjoyed this my dear..wish you would write more
    Report Review

  • From Sinful on October 29, 2008
    ok that was wayyyy past freaking out did she have a memory lapse?? L0L
    Report Review

  • From SailorSaturn415 on October 08, 2008
    This is a very interesting story, I would be very disapointed if you did not continue it.
    Report Review

  • From Chaosmage77 on September 30, 2008
    I think since you started it you should finish it! After all im enjoying it!
    Report Review

  • From pinkgryffindor on September 29, 2008
    YES! PLEASE CONTINUE WRITING!!
    Report Review

  • From ElementalDemonessSorceress on September 29, 2008
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
    Report Review

  • From sugar0o on September 29, 2008
    that was random, why'd she freak out like that, did she not remember?
    Report Review

  • From Noacat on September 28, 2008
    This really has potential to be an interesting story but two things hold it back. The first thing: format. It's not formatted correctly. It looks as if it was pasted directly from whatever word processing software you use. This can be fixed easily. Most word processing software has an option to switch the view. Switch it to web-page view. It'll stretch out the text so that it fits easily in a web window. Paste it from there and that should solve your problem. Secondly: you're not using any quotation for your speech. This is a MUST when writing prose (i.e., when writing a story). Example:

    "I'm going to the market, dear. Do you want anything?" she asked.

    "No, I'm fine. Be careful," he replied.


    Each piece of dialog must use quotation and each piece of dialog should be its own paragraph, to avoid confusion. If you get a large enough amount of dialog for one person, there are ways to break it up, but you must be careful when doing so. If done wrong, it'll confuse your readers. The best thing you can do to learn how to write dialog correctly, is to pick up one of your favorite books and see how they do it. Most modern authors have editors that correct their grammar and such before publishing, so, for the most part, the way they use quotation is going to be pretty much correct. Quoting correctly is something of an art, and it does take time to get the hang of it, but it is essential to master the basics, otherwise you're left with befuddled readers who want to read your story, but can't, because they can't follow your dialog.

    I want to end this by saying that this is IN NO WAY a flame or a dis on you personally. Just one writer to another, sharing a bit of wisdom I've learned over the years. Take it how you will. Much love and happy writing. -- Noa


    Report Review

  • From ElementalDemonessSorceress on September 28, 2008
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
    Report Review

  • From pinkgryffindor on September 28, 2008
    yay! her reaction! love the story!!!
    Report Review

  • From pinkgryffindor on September 28, 2008
    did he mate her?
    Report Review

  • From ElementalDemonessSorceress on September 21, 2008
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
    Report Review

  • From ElementalDemonessSorceress on July 06, 2008
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
    Report Review

  • From pinkslytherin on July 02, 2008
    please continue i want to know what happens the next day!
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!