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Reviews for What Was Expected

By : emmaren
  • From sugar0o on September 16, 2008
    i really do love your stories, i've stayed up just to read this, delirious as i am. i'm tired but it was worth it ^_^ always is! - r0o
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  • From ANON - Nasaug on September 06, 2008
    YEa! I thought I had found this awesomely awesome BRAND NEW story- which it is- and then, to my surprise, What do I find? Emmeran! writer of the Yellow Brick Road. Such a great story from such a great writer. It's a testament to your skills that you can create such different stories which are equally amazing in their own right.

    Thanks for sharing!
    Nasaug
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  • From ladydogdemon on September 02, 2008
    love the story update soon
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  • From BeautifulOblivion on September 02, 2008
    The grammar errors were not really bad, btw. Just a few comma splices, run on sentences and other small things. (Yes, I do mean small.)

    Anyway, it is a good story. I like it. I hope to see a new chapter soon. Take care.
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  • From StephanieG on August 29, 2008
    good chapter!
    I have a question : is Liam and his brother were 'real' twins ? I mean are they identical? 'cause, in a way, that could make things even more difficult for kagome. Will you explain later in the story how Liam died? Was he interested in her only for her miko powers at least at first, like are Sesshomaru and his clan?
    I can't wait to see what will happen next and what will they do for their second meeting...Will sess be truthfully and tell her of his youkai heritage ?
    Please please, update really really soon!!!
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  • From ANON - kagomesirene on August 29, 2008
    nice chapter...
    i`m really curious waht the kitsune clan plans to do...maybe sending liams twin to hook up with kags ?? you never know...come on sess make your move ... but he better starts to open up to kags and to know her, cause once she finds out their looking for anyone with miko powers she could become a little bit upset...

    one more thing ...its ! moshi moshi ! and not mushi mushi ...mushi means insect ;)

    here a good page about japanese culture...marriage ect:

    http://www.japaneselifestyle.com.au/culture/culture.html
    http://japanese.about.com/od/japaneseculture/Japanese_Culture.htm
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  • From ANON - taixi on August 29, 2008
    Hello, you wanted grammar pointers – this is more spelling, but here are a few comments/corrections for this first chapter:
    (1) you wrote “for gone” instead of “forgone” (it’s one word)
    (2) “bazaar” should be “bizarre” (meaning strange, as opposed to “bazaar” which means a type of market/marketplace)
    (3)“pearl-essence” should be a single word, “pearlescence” (or could also use “opalescence”)
    (4) “corporate” (in the sentence “she could not get her body to corporate” should be “cooperate”)

    Other than what are mostly minor spelling/usage errors, this looks like it will be a fun story! I look forward to reading more. Some other thoughts on the execution:

    You use the term “miai” throughout the chapter, but you don’t define it anywhere – I can guess what it means from the context (some kind of matchmaking ritual or procedure), but it might be useful to provide a definition in the A/N if you’re going to use non-common foreign terms.

    Finally, in my opinion, the thing with Liam’s death was a bit too abrupt: I realize this isn’t a major aspect of the story (or at least I assume it's not going to come back into play), but maybe a tad of explanation (for example, letting the reader know about the cause of the death, or at least some type of details) would make it less choppy.

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  • From sysclp on August 29, 2008
    Not surprised Liam turned out to be a kitsune, I suspected after the mention of how she felt around his family. Now, is the twin brother Shippo? :-) Please don't leave us in suspense too long and update soon!

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  • From fallingmagic on August 27, 2008
    Okay, I have to say that I have never seen this angle persued before and I am dying to see how it progresses. I particularly enjoyed the little hint dropped about her only feeling that way before around Liam and his fam....wonder what that could mean? Anyway, please continue this story because it looks like it may well be on its way to being one of my favorites and this from the first chapter. :) If you have an update email could you please add me to it....Thanks!!! falling_magic@yahoo.com
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  • From SparkleKit on August 27, 2008
    I LOVE this! Such an original idea. Seriously wonderful. I can't fault the grammar etc either so splendid job sweetie! Please continue this, I'd love to see how it ends - in flames or happy ever after. xx
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  • From Noacat on August 27, 2008
    Damn, girl! An amazing start. And I love you for doing your research! I can't wait to see where you go with this!
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  • From ANON - Trice on August 26, 2008
    I really enjoyed reading this first chapter. It really got me wanting to read more, almost hoping there was a second chapter. I think this story is well on its way to being a great story. I didnt feel like the story was slow due to it included the background information it was needed and appreciated. I look forward to reading the next chapter which I hope will come out soon.
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  • From ANON - Gaymar21 on August 26, 2008
    The story start really good its like a old fashion japan meets madorn day scifi, This chapter write beautifully keep the chapters coming.
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  • From sugar0o on August 26, 2008
    !!@!!11!!!eleven!!!

    i adore you and this was amazing, i can completely see what your thinking on all this at least in this first chapter, i cant wait to see more! your always such a talent and i adore you for that, cant wait for more hun, wonderful job! - r0o
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  • From sysclp on August 26, 2008
    A nice start and I look forward to more. I have enjoyed your other story and this one looks like it will be just as good. Thanks!
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