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Reviews for Trapped miko between two inus

By : Starprincesssnow
  • From Vyper on December 16, 2011
    I like how Kagome and Sesshoumaru put Jakotsu in his place. He was so fricking annoying how can even Kouga stand him? Kouga is hot enough to get a better looking mate then Jakotsu.
    I hope there will be a scene of Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru getting it on with each other. I just love Sess/Inu incest stories since it would be so hot to see those two get it on.
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  • From Vyper on September 13, 2011
    I love this story but the chapters are so short! I wish they were a bit longer.
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  • From Vyper on August 07, 2011
    As much as Jakotsu grosses me out I wouldn't mind seeing Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha get it on with each other while doing Kagome. The brothers together are just yummy.
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  • From LibraCourt on July 28, 2011
    This story started out so good, but now its getting a little ridiculous. I thought this was about Sesshoumaru and Kagome. Not Naraku, but the last 2 or 3 chapters have been nothing but him
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  • From Vyper on July 27, 2011
    Lol..... I loved that last chapter. Poor Naraku. I allmost feel bad for him........allmost...
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  • From Vyper on July 09, 2011
    I'm glad everyone is getting a kick out of Naraku's current situation. Things should get interesting from this point forward.
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  • From Vyper on July 01, 2011
    Awe, Naraku is going to be that girl's pet. How cute. Maybe then he won't pout so much.
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  • From Vyper on June 26, 2011
    I read all the chapters again. I just wish they weren't so short. It is a pretty good story so far though. I just wonder if Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru will fall in love with each other too. That would be so hot.
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  • From Auroawinter on May 15, 2011
    Although I find the plot of this story interesting, I find it very difficult to read and was only able to read a few chapters before I became frustrated with the writing. There are a lot of spelling mistakes and sentence structures that were really hard to understand and alot of words that were missing from sentences. Not to sound rude or anything but did you read over the chapters before you put them up? If not I would suggest reading the story out loud to yourself that way you may hear the way it sounds and if things may be missing from it. I know I go through my stories like that at least a half a dozen times ( though I STILL find mistakes LOL)

    Also if english is not your first language then maybe finding someone who can to help beta the story for you.

    As for you spelling, goddess above knows I'm not perfect. So when I am unsure of spelling I look it up on dictionary.com ( its my bestestst friend!!) This site is great and very helpful since it also has a thesarus and a multiple of other helpful things.

    Now to give an example of what I was speaking about :

    'Kagome looked around in cave at the two Inu's brothers on both sides of her. She sighed thinking about the earlier today. It was usually day for them walking down the dirt road when all sudden Naraku showed up wanting fight. He had knocked her and Inuyasha into this cave before throwing Sesshomaru into cave with them before sealing the cave. They had no idea when be able to get out. She hoped it was soon before something bad happen'

    This is how it could have been written ( I will capitalize possible improvements)

    'Kagome looked around THE cave, THEN AT the two Inu brothers that SAT on both sides of her. She sighed thinking about earlier today. It was ANOTHER USUAL day for them. THEY walked down A dirt road when SUDDENLY Naraku APPEARED. He had knocked her and Inuyasha into this cave before throwing Sesshomaru IN AS WELL. NARAKU QUICKLY SEALED THEM INSIDE. They had no idea when THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO GET OUT. She hoped it was BEFORE SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED.'

    Granted there could be a little more finessing, like maybe a few more feelings into it( say ' Kagome looked around the cave nervously.' or maybe instead of nervously maybe hysterically.. you get the point)


    Anyway, I hope this has been taken as the constructive criticism it was meant to be. And I sincerely hope it helps to improve your writing.

    Ja ne,
    Chrys
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  • From Vyper on May 15, 2011
    It is funny how Naraku wants to suddenly be a nice guy with Kikyo and Kagura. I also think it is kind of funny that Kouga is with Jakotsu although I thought Jakotsu only had eyes for Inuyasha. Oh well.
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  • From MissDee on April 25, 2011
    Your chapters are really short. I've read few chapters and I like the story so far but it's getting annoying 'cause I have to click forward all the time. There's also lots of mistakes with writing. I would prefer a BETA reader.
    Keep writing and you'll get better :D
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  • From Starprincesssnow on April 23, 2011
    yeah i would like that
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  • From Dragonessclaw on April 18, 2011
    Your story is very good and I am thoroughly enjoying it. There is just one thing I would like to mention. I don't know if you proof read before submitting your chapters or not but there are several errors and it tends to detract from the story. Please don't take offense I mean no harm. If you need a beta I would be more than happy to beta for you. Just let me know if you're interested. Other than that your story is wonderful I look forward to the next update.
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  • From Vyper on April 09, 2011
    I think it is funny as hell that Naraku wants Kagura and Kikyo to love him after all the crap he has pulled on them both. It would serve him right if neither woman accepted him.
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  • From Vyper on April 06, 2011
    These are so short, I hope that you plan on writing longer chapters. This is good so far so I will keep reading as long as you keep writing.
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