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Reviews for Dangerous Temptation

By : Kittyb78
  • From RogueMudblood on October 09, 2011
    This story really belongs in the AU section. After all, you are taking assassins and placing them in a high school setting. Also, if you plan on continuing it further, I would suggest removing the Complete tag from the summary (you've already added another chapter, so you should certainly remove "oneshot" as it no longer is one).

    To the story itself...
    I frankly wasn't certain from your summary if you were acutally intending to put them in high school. I can't say as I've ever really understood the impetus for taking characters from feudal Japan and placing them into the American public school system.

    I hate to say it, but where you are right now with the story, you seem to be verging into the territory of every High School flick released since 1999. Guy sets his sights on girl - girl is put in a situation where she has to spend lots of time with guy - girl falls for guy - girl has an extremely embarrasing moment which results in her hurting guy - girl apologizes to guy - girl and guy kiss - fade to credits with the boyband overture.

    Overall, your style is fine - though you could probably use some more description in places. (At the beginning, you have Bankotsu commenting on the sun lighting on Kagome's face, but they're in a classroom. Some classrooms don't have windows. But there's no description given for me to know what type of classroom they're in.) It's simply that I feel as though the high school genre has been given an inordinate amount of attention, and since that is apparently what you intend here...

    Happy writing to you.
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