Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Never Too Late

By : GoddessEva
  • From MaDDeRHaTTeR on December 27, 2017

    Please tell me there is a part 2 or something!!! PLEASE!!???


    Report Review

  • From MaDDeRHaTTeR on December 27, 2017

    Wow!!! Such poetic BEAUTY!!! I sincerely hope... This is not another cast aside work... I feel hard pressed to find a dedicated writer within this fandom, it is truly depressing.


    Report Review

  • From kma3000 on February 05, 2013
    This is cute and exciting! I'm wondering why the Sun's followers haven't taken action yet. Have they been communicating?
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Jenno on December 11, 2012
    I love the way this written so well written, with better grammar an puncuation the most I've read! And I love the potrail of Sesshomaru as something more gentle and inuyasha as a more dominate person! Also the stories really original! Please keep writting!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Jenno on December 11, 2012
    I love the way this written so well written, with better grammar an puncuation the most I've read! And I love the potrail of vas something more gentle and inuyasha as a not dominate person! Also the stories really original! Please keep writting!
    Report Review

  • From GoddessEva on November 12, 2012
    Finally, some CONSTRUCTIVE, criticism. yes, I know its vague, and they seem out of character, but the prupose of that was so that I could reveal a sort of back story for them...although, I see now that that was probabliy a mistake. The Typos were purely out of a carelessnesson my part, so I apologize for any confusion it has caused. I...often times have issues with dialogue as I have a tendency to make my characters speak in the same manner that I do, which I know is a mistake, but have no way of fixing...I wonder if you wouldn't mind a back and forth with me as I attempt to reconstruct this story...I imagine the first chapter will be the same, and the second chapter will remain, though it certainly will not be chapter two..perhaps I should incude a prologue with a descriptio of th0si faith....I honestly haven't a clue. It is my experience that too much revelation dulls the story a bit, but it seems not enough is...well rather destructive to the story. Email me if you would like to assist me in the rewriting process.

    Evangeline.

    P.S.

    My email: e3v33@yahoo.com
    Report Review

  • From botticelliangel on October 09, 2012
    Ok. This review is going to be somewhat long, because I want to give you an idea of how I perceive this story.

    Your imagery is beautiful and intriguing. I enjoy the use of "Death" as a character, tangible instead of an unknown. And I am intrigued by this apparent culture of the Sun, Moon, and Purgatory (I am assuming that was where Leai is from?)

    I wish that you had gone into describing this culture of worshiping The Moon, and the Sun more because the concept is very intriguing, and seems to be a huge part of your plot and motivations. And this isn't meant as a jab, but you progress through your plot too fast. I have little sense of characterization for anyone in the story (except for my preconceived notations of Sesshomaru and Inuyasha). The addition of tangible detail (the 5 senses) would help a lot.

    One thing I noticed is that your dialog is very rigid: meaning that all your characters speak the at the same level. They all seem to have the same level of vocabulary and the same inflections when they talk. It is very difficult to get past that as a writer, and one suggestion I can give would be to think in detail about the tone you want the character to speak in. To give an example from cannon: Sesshomaru's dialog tone is sophisticated, and curt, whereas Inuyasha's is filled with common vernacular.

    It feels like you know more about the story than you have written down (more motivations, histories, responses...) You must remember that the reader only knows what you tell them, especially since you are taking the characters away from cannon.

    An overall good practice is to read what you have written out loud, before you post it. I find it is a lot easier to see (or hear) spots where the message that I wanted to get across was not as clear as I originally thought. Also try putting your story in different fonts and rereading it like that. It sounds stupid, but sometimes the difference in the actual physical appearance of the words helps to pick out problems.

    You have a few typos throughout the story that you should go back and fix: In your third chapter the first row "xexpressed".

    In the fifth chapter, the dialog between Inuyasha and the Sun: "I thought I would leave that to Sesshomaru. Will you place go and get him for me?”
    You meant to write "Will you please go and get him for me?"

    Also in the fifth chapter (not actually a typo, more something that bugged me: "Why? Who is he to me?”

    “Sesshomaru, InuYasha is you mate.”

    “….He fainted…”

    “Yes, child, I can see that.”

    ?What? Without descriptions of what is going on all I understood was that someone fainted. I had no idea who it was that was supposed to have fainted until the next chapter, so It was just confusing. And honestly I cant see Sesshomaru fainting over that...

    There are a couple of other typos in the story too. I am very interested in seeing what you are going to do with this story. I would implore you to go back through and develop what you have before you move on though. Sometimes it is easier to see the path a story should take when you go back and develop what is there.

    What I would like to know more about is the culture of the story, the mythology of it, and characterization.

    Please think about what I've suggested. It seems like you have a lot of creativity and just need some constructive practice to bring it into fruition.
    Report Review

  • From Midnightsscream on June 13, 2012
    VERY interesting story. Sesshomaru the son of the goddess of the moon. never read anything quiet like this. great job and I look forward to updates
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!