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Reviews for Take My Breath Away

By : inuyashasgirl
  • From ANON - L.A. on January 18, 2005
    That was very much like another story I read; but I guess the idea is quite popular. I liked your version, though. Nicely written! Also, I loved the song pick!

    L.A. (Author of The Matchmaker)
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  • From ANON - Raynre on July 08, 2004
    Very nice. A very romantic/bittersweet tale. Good job, keep it up!
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  • From ANON - Anon on June 29, 2004
    This fic reminds me a lot of a fic done by DelKaidin entitled "Goodbyes". Now I won't say that you out and out plagarized from her fic, but the story line is similar and there are some parts that almost identical to her fic. "Goodbye" is an extremely well known fic along with its epliogue "Hello Again" if you did by chance get inspired from reading "Goodbye" or "Hello Again" then you need to give credit where credit is due.

    Not only is this fic a poor rendition of a fic by a very talented writer, you obviously aren't eno enough to quite understand the mechanics of intercourse and conception. Conception does not happen instantly as soon as the male ejaculates, it takes time. While Inuyasha maybhanyhanyou and have a range of extremely sensitive senses there is no way that he could "hear" the baby's heart beat BEFORE he pulled out of her! The intercourse scene was poorly written and done in a somewhat crude manner. Among other things...

    Next time you decide to write a fic I recommend that you come up with your own storyline and that you take your time and complete some research regarding the mechanics of conception. I also suggest that if you are underage or have yet to experience intercourse yourself that you also educate yourself in the proper workings of that area. I might suggest that you pick up a few romance novels from your local library and take some notes on the love scenes. BUT do NOT plagarize from those books either!

    I would hope that you take this as a learning experience and try to better yourself as a writer. There are those of us in the reading community of AFF that take offense to issues such as this and you will be watched in the future for further "borrowing" of other authors fics.

    Sincerely,

    A Concerned Reader
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  • From ANON - puffin on June 29, 2004
    That was a sad st It It was well written. Keep it up.
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  • From ANON - reviewer on June 29, 2004
    This is a very poorly written copy of another Inuyasha fanfic that is located right here on AFF.net. In my opinion, the similarities are too glaringly apparent for this to be just a coincidence. If you are going to copy someone else's idea, at least have the decency to give them credit for the idea. I can't technically call you a plagiarist since it is not a word-for-word copy, but I still think you are a copycat.
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  • From ANON - gittelbug on June 29, 2004
    so sad.
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  • From ANON - DelKaidin on June 29, 2004
    I'll have to agree with some of your other reviewers this story is very familiar to another story, two actually. Seems you heavily borrowed from them. However that is not the reason for the review... There is no way that Inuyasha would hear the heartbeat five minutes or less after intercourse. It can take up to two weeks for the sperm to travel to the egg and fertilit ant and implant in the uterus. Then the nervous system is the first organ to develop. The heart doesn't develop until around week six. For reference view this site: http://www.w-cpc.org/fetal.html - It will make your stories more enjoyable if you don't shock the readers with such glaring errors.


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  • From ANON - Tiranth on June 29, 2004
    Hmmm...this sounds suspiciously like another fic I have read. Though youe one one major problem in this story that I just can NOT overlook. A baby's heart does noat uat until WEEKS into growth. It is impossible that in the five minutes after sex, Inu's sperm has found Kag's egg, fused and created a fetus. I can overlook some medical liberties but not this one.

    Tir
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  • From ANON - RED DAY on June 29, 2004
    This is so strange..... I just got through having to sing this song and later get on the site to see a story of the so THI THIS IS FANTASTIC!!
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  • From ANON - Anon on June 29, 2004
    The thought of leaving a review for this story coats my mouth with a bad taste. It has come to my attention that your story is extremely similar to another story on this site. The coincidences, and I use that term loosely because I know better, that occur simply make me cringe. If you were inspired by another authors story, common courtesy and decency would demand that you place an authors note in your story thanking said author for motivating your muse to produce your story.
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  • From Numisma on June 29, 2004
    a bit corny, and too fluffy for MY tastes. also unnerves me that it's a bit too similar to another work i've read. lastly, it doesn't take that short of a while before a child is conceived. at that point in time, all Inuyasha would probably be able to smell is his own cum settling inside her, and it would be several weeks before the embryo had a heartbeat. most likely it would have to be a couple to a few days before he could detect the change in scent in her...
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  • From ANON - MyOwnHappyEnding on June 29, 2004
    OMG! That is exactly how I imagined the series would end! O.O I loved it dearly and can't wait to read more of your stories. This one was truely incredible for your first songfic.
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  • From ANON - MoonGuardian015 on June 29, 2004
    Cool! It was really sad...but really good! Great story!
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  • From ANON - nena on June 29, 2004
    such a sweet little story
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  • From ANON - Isaac Loure on June 29, 2004
    awsome great brought tears tomy eyes fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep itup

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