Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Shi Kyusobin: Blessed Twins

By : Moonchild
  • From Moonchild on August 06, 2008
    hello everyone, this is moonchild. i will be revising this story so i will be down for a while so dont get too worried (or over joyed). hopefully the revised version meets to everyones expectations. the reason why i am revising it is because it just didnt turn out the way i had hoped it would and one of my reviewers was correct and told me exactly what i had been feeling but couldnt pinpoint. thank you very much for pointing that out. and i will be taking you up on your suggestion and making this as an origional story as well. thank you all for your reviews and hope to see you all here again. ttfn.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Netealia on July 27, 2008
    wow... please continue.
    Report Review

  • From Moonchild on July 26, 2008
    THANKYOU!!! That is all I need to know, and again thankyou that is a great idea and I will do exactly that. Oh by the way it was origanly suppose to be an inuyasha fic but it kind of turned away from that, that is why it was posted in the inuyasha section not because I wanted to get more readers.
    Report Review

  • From doggieearlover on July 25, 2008
    Well, you asked for what was wrong with this fic. First of all, it's hard enough to get reviews and ratings at this site, anyway. However, the bigger problem is that you have taken what is basically an original fic and just thrown Kagome and Kaede into it and mentioned InuYasha so that you could put it in the InuYasha category where you probably thought you'd get more readers. Unfortunately for you, people who come to the InuYasha category want to read about the characters from InuYasha. Mentioning Kagome really doesn't cut it. Your story line just doesn't make any sense in their universe. You really should rewrite it totally as an original fic with all orginal characters. Kagome's so OCC in this fic anyway (having sex with a total stranger (or was it rape - I coulnd't tell), having twins and giving them away, etc.) that she might as well be an original character. Plus, it's next to impossible to figure out what the plot is other than there's only sex. If you want to post in the InuYasha section, you need to have primarily InuYasha characters. If you want to write a original piece (which is great, btw and takes a lot more work to develop your own characters), then you need to do that - and develop enough of the plot so that the reader can figure out what in the world is going on. Right now it's all over the place and next to impossible to determine what the plot might even be other than more reasons to have sex.
    Report Review

  • From Moonchild on July 25, 2008
    hello moonchild here, alright i would like to know what is wrong with this story that i work so hard on. i keep getting not so good ratings. so please tell me what i have done that makes this story so...not good. i had such high expectation for this story and now i see that it is not doing so well. it just makes me so sad. waaaa. please tell me why so i can possibly fix it. thank you.
    Report Review

  • From Tricia1224 on July 23, 2008
    I am loving this story. You can't leave it like this. What happens with Kagome? What happens with the babies? How do they grow up? Lots of burning questions.
    Report Review

  • From Verakum on July 16, 2008
    Wow.... good story i like it...also for the fact that it is a inu, kago, and that new shy... who seems cool... but i think you should improve the plot... i mean i love the sex yes but making them talk a bit, show their feeling their desires and all would be awesome...
    Report Review

  • From Altari on July 01, 2008
    I get the impression that I wasn't supposed to learn much about Ty, save that he's a sex fiend. I hope to learn a little more about him in the future, and see what Kagome does with him. You kept me interested the whole time, which, no matter what else, is the most important thing!

    Also, I'm going to give myself the luxury of one anal retentive note : the "maidenhead" (hymen) is located OUTSIDE the vaginal canal. I've seen more and more stories that reference it is an internal piece of "equipment", when, in actuality, it's outside. Just FYI.
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!