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March 2, 2015 at 12:00 AM
This story is good but it needs a rewrite because its irritating to read the same sentences 3times over and over again! Also please check spelling as well other than that I love the story
schedule
March 2, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Also please correct sentences some of them don't make any sense
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May 31, 2009 at 12:00 AM
two suggestions 1)turn it into paragraphs instead of big bunches of words 2)check your spelling for one thing it Shippo not Shipo
schedule
October 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
It was a very well written story. Other than the grammar and spelling errors, I enjoyed it very much! B reading U!