Overall, this was a good story. I really enjoyed it! I'm glad it was a completed fic - it's refreshing to have an entire story in one sitting. One critique, and this is equally a critique on myself, which is the BEST kind!! :D
While reading the first adult scene, I had a moment of "I don't like something about this" followed immediately by "OH MY GOSH I AM DOING THIS TOO" ... lol not 'like that' but, I realized while I was reading that you put emphasis on which hand went where during a scene, and I found it to be distracting just enough that I stopped reading for a few minutes and contemplated why it was annoying. AND I DO THE SAME THING IN MY WRITING!
I massage the text, read it over and over looking for things that could say that might clarify where I was trying to go with some motion or setting, and then I feel like it needs more description so I add in more here and there... and I had no idea that my extra careful attention to detail could be offputting to a fresh reader! Frankly, when I'm really into what I'm reading, I end up eagerly running through all the nailbiting action on the page maybe a bit too quickly, and I do not catch the details in my haste. Maybe it's just me? I think I'll meditate on this a little while and reevaluate how I'm approaching some of my writing projects.
Anyways, end ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing with us. :) I'd love to discuss authoring with you if you're on discord: alesyira#1027
Wow!! Just wow!!
I have really missed you!! So much!!! But having found this was the absolutely best gift I could have asked for!! I am so grateful!! Great story, great setting, and most of all, great way to remind us all why you are among the best!! Thank you so much for writing and sharing!! I am trully happy that you are still around and that you arestill writing and sharing with us!!
May this new year bring you tons of joy and happiness and may you continue sharing your talents with us!
The Goddess has returned!!! I am so happy to see a new story from you. It’s been too long, but then another reason why I love you is because you posted the whole story in one shot as opposed to leaving us hanging. I can’t wait for your next story!
What a beautiful story! So happy to see another of your stories. A great portrayal of both characters, and I really enjoyed their interactions!