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Silly Little Love Songs	By : Sentinel28A Category: InuYasha > General Views: 1114 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
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SILLY LITTLE LOVE SONGS
A Collection of Short Inu-Yasha Fics, Lemons and Otherwise
From the Twisted Keyboard of the Sentinel
AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’ve had these short fics rattling around in my head for a little while. Time to let them out into
the wild.
    Basically, what Silly Little Love Songs will end up is as a series of short fics starring each pairing in the Inu-Yasha universe–Inuyasha/Kagome, Sango/Miroku, Kouga/Ayame, Sesshoumaru/Kagura. Heck with it; I’ll throw in
Sesshoumaru/Kagome and Inuyasha/Kikyo too. Sorry, folks, no yaoi. Yuri isn’t out of the question. Not all of these
stories will have sex scenes, but hopefully they will all have comedy gold...
   And in spite of what the summary may imply, there is no sex in this fic (or any other of mine, for that matter)
between anyone who is not of age, i.e. Rin. I would find that disgusting, and I’m sure you would too. This is funny,
or it’s supposed to be, anyway.
    Some of this fic was inspired by Atropa’s Feather Dance, and as always Szaugglaughs serves as a muse. If you
haven’t read This is Gonna Be Fun yet, do so.
   Standard legal stuff: I don’t own Inu-Yasha or any of its characters, and I probably never will, which is just too
bad. Kids, don’t try this stuff at home. Most of it’s impossible, some of it’s illegal, and probably it would hurt.
SCROLL ONE: THE BIRDS AND THE SAIMYOSHO

    It was the first full moon of the month, and for hanyou that meant trouble. For Inuyasha, it meant finding
someplace to hide, reluctantly relying on the others of the Inu-tachi for protection, and avoiding impromptu dentistry
by Miroku. For Naraku, it meant holing up in his castle, gradually separating and rebuilding his own conglomerate
body of demons, and avoiding treachery from his more rebellious creations. For the hanyou children on the mystic
island, it meant...well, the fourth movie was in the future, so we don’t need to worry about the whiny brats for this
story.
    Since the last thing Naraku wanted was an irate Kagura wandering around the castle griping about how the wind
demanded to be free (the first time Naraku heard this, he assumed Kagura had eaten a bad batch of beans) and
coming up with new and interesting ways of killing him, he commanded her to scout for the Inu-tachi for a hundred
leagues in every direction. Even with her feather’s speed, that would take her the better part of three days.
Unbeknownst to Naraku, Kagura had every intention of leaving the dour castle. For she had discovered certain
things about herself.
   Kagura had been born full-grown, and thus had been spared the trials and tribulations of puberty. She had no
thoughts of sex or anything remotely like it, until one day she had come upon two wolves (not Kouga and Ayame,
that’s in a later fic) rutting in the woods. The sight had fascinated her, and fascination led to exploration, and after
one naked flight by moonlight, where the wind had served more than one purpose besides lift, Kagura was eager to
try new and different things. She figured if sex was that much fun alone, it had to be even more fun with someone
else. Unfortunately, being an evil wind demon cut down on Kagura’s social life considerably. She fancied herself a
noblewoman, so peasants were out. Samurai she hated. As for people she actually knew, Naraku was out of the
question, Kohaku was a little on the young side (and zombie love held no fascination for her), and as far as Inuyasha,
Kouga, and Miroku were concerned, the only thing of interest beneath Kagura’s kimono was the rather large hole a
sword or staff would make in her body.
    That left Sesshoumaru, which suited Kagura just fine. He was gorgeous, with rippling muscles, long flowing
silver hair, and a distinct air of nobility; the fact that he only had one arm mattered little to Kagura, only what he did
with it. She was fairly certain he would at least hear her out, and she didn’t believe those rumors that Sesshoumaru
didn’t like women. With that in her lust-addled mind, Kagura eagerly hopped on Feather Airlines and headed south
for Sesshoumaru’s last known location.
    She found him easily enough. Apparently some lesser youkai had made the mistake of getting in his way, and
Sesshoumaru had wiped them out. A samurai war party had the temerity to not give up the road, so Sesshoumaru
had killed them all. A village was not fast enough to get out of his way and he demolished it. Kagura simply
followed the trail of destruction until she came upon the Demon Lord of the Western Lands walking–alone. Perfect,
she thought.
   Kagura descended on her feather to land ten paces ahead of Sesshoumaru, who stopped and watched her land with
a bored gaze. She stepped from the feather, which shrank; she left it on the ground. What she had in mind didn’t
involve any sort of covering. She bowed deeply to Sesshoumaru, who returned it with a bare nod. Looking at him
over her bangs, Kagura licked her lips. He looked delicious.
   “What do you want?” he growled.
    Kagura felt a rush of heat from her toenails to her forehead at his imperious tone. “You,” she said with just the
hint of a sneer. That disappeared in a hurry as Sesshoumaru’s hand flashed towards Tokujin at his waist. “Wait! Not
like that–I don’t mean it like that!”
     Sesshoumaru’s hand stopped, and he raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, then? I have no time for games,
spawn of Naraku.”
    Maybe Miroku would be interested after all, Kagura thought for a grumpy moment, but she inwardly decided that
it had to be Sesshoumaru or no one. He’d melt soon enough, and anyway she knew the answer to the question
already.
    Kagura unknotted the sash of her obi and let it flutter to the ground. The outer kimono puddled around her ankles,
and a commanded breeze sent the inner kimono drifting away, revealing her slowly and most alluringly. She stood
naked and unashamed before Sesshoumaru, opening her arms slightly in invitation.
    Sesshoumaru was no fool. “Oh,” he said. “That.” Yet he made no move towards her, nor did he start removing
his own clothes. They stood there, staring at each other for the best part of two minutes. Kagura was confused. She
was desirable; that much she knew. She wasn’t ugly, aside from the scar on her back–she took care of that by letting
her hair down. Once more she held her hands out in invitation, but Sesshoumaru might as well have been a rock.
    Then Kagura had a flash of inspiration. Sesshoumaru would never walk to a woman; she was inferior. Kagura
found herself getting more turned on by that–she would have to be submissive to the demon lord. Oh, he was going
to ravage her, that was it. Sesshoumaru was an inu-youkai of sorts. Kagura slowly walked forward, measuring her
steps until she was only as far away from Sesshoumaru as you are now from your monitor. You should really sit
back; that’s bad for your eyes, you know.
    Still Sesshoumaru didn’t move, though she could see that he was sweating. Instinctively knowing what to do,
Kagura slowly dropped to her knees and leaned backwards, opening herself up. “I am yours, my lord. Take me, if
that is your pleasure.”
    “I...c-can’t,” Sesshoumaru said with a most un-Sesshoumaru like stammer.
    Kagura brushed her hands across her breasts and their taut nipples. “Why not, Sesshoumaru?” She deliberately
left off the honorific, as a lover would.
    “I...just...can’t.”
    Kagura’s eyebrows beetled together in frustration. This was not going according to plan at all. “Am I not
desirable?”
    “Certainly.”
    She arched her back, closing her eyes, abandoning herself to his gaze. “Then take me.”
    “N-no.”
    That did it. Kagura leapt to her feet and stomped over to Sesshoumaru, getting in his face. “What’s wrong with
you?” She knew she was risking death here, but that was preferable to this maddening bastard just staring at her.
She remembered the rumors. “Don’t you like women?”
     “Yes,” Sesshoumaru snapped back, the characteristic steel back in his voice with a vengeance.
     “Do you have...problems?” She went over her limited store of knowledge; Naraku didn’t have any scrolls that
covered this sort of thing in any detail. “Can’t you...you know...get it up?”
     “This Sesshoumaru has no problems getting it up, Kagura!”
     “Then what the hell are you waiting for, you frigid idiot! Take me! Ravish me! Make me scream your name and
write bad poetry!”
     Sesshoumaru raised his hand to smash her into the next prefecture, but stayed his hand just short. “This
Sesshoumaru doesn’t need to answer your impertinence, wind slut!”
    Kagura saw the horror in his eyes, which betrayed his anger as false. Well, mostly false. And suddenly she knew.
She turned away from those gorgeous yellow eyes, and felt tears welling in her own crimson ones. She turned away
from him, her arms coming up to cover her breasts in shame. “I...understand, Lord Sesshoumaru. It is because...of
what I am. You have no interest in a spawn of Naraku with no heart. I will leave.”
    Inuyasha would have needed Miroku’s amateur dentistry to remove his jaw from the ground had he witnessed the
sudden softening of his half-brother’s expression. Sesshoumaru took a step forward and put his arm around her
shoulders, gently turning her around. “No, Kagura-chan,” he whispered, in a voice that would’ve given Jaken heart
failure, “it is not who you are. It is...me.” She shook her head, not understanding even a little. Sighing and cursing
himself for a horny fool, Sesshoumaru leaned forward and whispered in her ear his greatest, deepest secret.
     Kagura’s eyes widened and she gasped in utter surprise. “You’re kidding,” she replied. Sesshoumaru shifted his
feet a little and looked at the ground, which was all the answer she needed. “You have a small penis?”
    His hand rocketed out and clasped her mouth. “Quiet!” he hissed. “No one must know!”
    Kagura bit her lip, knowing that if she so much as sniffed a laugh, they would still be finding pieces of her in
Kagome’s time. She almost said something about Sesshoumaru’s desire for Tetsusaiga being overcompensation, but
realized that was likely to get her sliced into fish bait as well. Yet one look at his face and the shame there killed the
humor. He really felt bad about this. And Kagura, who had no heart, nonetheless felt something swell in her chest to
ten times its size.
    “I’ll be the judge of that,” she said, and her hands flew to his yellow and blue sash. Ignoring Sesshoumaru’s
stammered protests, she had that and the hard leather armor that covered his thighs and loins off in a jiffy. Not
bothering to even remove anything else, she pulled down his hakama and eased his fundoshi aside. She blinked at
the hardened member that confronted her. He certainly wasn’t impotent, that was for sure. She stared at it for a few
moments, then up at Sesshoumaru, who looked distinctly uncomfortable. “There’s nothing wrong with you.” Of
course, Kagura had never seen an erection before, so she had nothing to compare it to, but Sesshoumaru didn’t need
to know that.
    “I am...not too small?”
   Kagura did some impromptu measuring with her fingers, which certainly didn’t lessen Sesshoumaru’s dimensions
any. “Certainly not. You’re large enough for me. Who have you been comparing yourself to?”
    Sesshoumaru went purple with anger, which also set off a rather pleasant sensation for Kagura belowdecks, so to
speak. “My brother.”
    “So Inuyasha’s hung like a–“
    ”We shall speak no more of this, Kagura.” Sesshoumaru gave her the barest hint of a smile. “Does your offer still
stand? To take you, ravish you, and make you scream my name?”
    Kagura clasped her arms around his neck. “And make me write bad poetry,” she purred.
    Sesshoumaru began unfastening his armor. Rather quickly.

    Jaken watched nearby from the woods and felt a mix of pride and revulsion. His enhanced senses had caught the
conversation, and he was happy for his lord that Sesshoumaru’s unfounded sense of inferiority was misplaced. On
the other hand, to Jaken’s eyes, Kagura was ugly–he didn’t think she had a scale on her–and certainly the trite little
murmurings she was making in his lord’s ear as he pushed into her was enough to make even the most steel-stomached youkai sick. Well, Sesshoumaru hadn’t exactly made Jaken stay, had he? And besides, he would
probably like some privacy.
   Jaken wandered off to get some well-deserved rest when he noticed something moving in the bushes. He almost
yelled at whatever it was to stop, but realized just in time that interrupting Sesshoumaru right now was asking for a
long, painful death. He stared at the spot for a few more minutes, ignoring Kagura’s gasps of ecstasy and
Sesshoumaru’s increasingly heavy breathing, but whatever it was didn’t move again. Jaken had just put it down to a
trick of the moonlight when he spotted the flash of an orange and yellow patterned kimono.
    “Oh, no,” Jaken said with utter devastation. “Oh, no.”

   The next morning, an exhausted Kagura had climbed back aboard her feather and disappeared to the west, with a
whispered promise that she would find Sesshoumaru on the next full moon of the next month. Sesshoumaru leaned
back against his fluffy, clad only in his fundoshi, a silly smile on his face. It had been too long, and Kagura was so
much more interesting than the frightened mortals he had been with before. They had made love–yes, that was what
it was, Sesshoumaru admitted to himself–five times. She had said nothing about his missing arm or his comparative
lack of size, and she had proved most inventive when it came to her fans.
     He caught a scent of Rin approaching before his ward stepped out of the forest, and quickly wiped the smile from
his face, replacing it with his usual faintly disgusted expression. She skipped towards him, noticed his face, and
composed her demeanor as well. She didn’t keep the happy smile off her face, though, as she bowed to him, and
Sesshoumaru caught himself wondering if Kagura would make a good mother. He shook off the image of Kagura
wearing a Piyo Piyo apron and returned Rin’s bow with a deep nod. “Good morning, Lord Sesshoumaru!” she said
cheerfully. “Did you sleep well?”
    “I did, Rin. Thank you.” Normally, Rin’s ebuillent happiness was lucky to get the ghost of a smile and something
more than a grunt, but Sesshoumaru was feeling pretty good today. He noticed Jaken following morosely in Rin’s
wake, and one look at his retainer’s downcast expression instantly informed Sesshoumaru that his night’s activities
had not gone unnoticed. He sent a glare Jaken’s direction that instantly had the little toad youkai kissing dirt; Jaken
had never been any good at playing cards.
    Rin noticed her lord’s chilly change of demeanor, but since it was directed at Jaken and not herself, she walked
over and sat down next to Sesshoumaru with a yawn. “May I rest here, Lord Sesshoumaru? I didn’t get much sleep
last night.”
    “That would be all right with this Sesshoumaru, Rin.” He could probably use a few more hours of sleep as well.
    Rin snuggled happily into the fluffy, then abruptly asked, “What were you doing with Lady Kagura, my lord?”
    Sesshoumaru felt a cold sweat break out over his brow. “What?” he said with more than a little steel in his voice.
    It was lost on Rin, whose curiousity knew no bounds by now. “At first I thought you were going to take a bath
with her, my lord, as you disrobed. She seemed happy, anyway. Lady Kagura told you to take her. I don’t
understand; you didn’t go anywhere! All you did was wrestle! It looked like fun. I almost said something, but Rin
knows that she is not to disturb her lord without permission...” Rin looked up at Sesshoumaru guilelessly. “She
mentioned a lot about screwing, my lord, but I saw no tools. She also was screaming something about that she was
coming to the kami, but she didn’t leave. She did that like...” Rin looked at her fingers and realized she couldn’t
count that high. “I really wanted to see a kami, too--”
     “Jaken.” Sesshoumaru snapped, silencing Rin.
     Jaken raised his head from the ground, hoping he was about to be given an order to kill Rin, because murder was
the only way he saw to shut up her questions. “Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru?”
     “You will explain to Rin what happened last night.”
     On second thought, Jaken reconsidered, suicide might be just as simple. “Uh, my lord...”
     “The birds and the bees, Jaken.”
     “She’s much too young, my lord.”
     “Are you questioning my orders?” Sesshoumaru thundered, in a tone of voice that sent even Rin scampering
away. “Because if you do not do this, I will kill you with Tokujin, bring you back to life with Tensaiga, and then kill
you again until I get tired!”
    Jaken instantly had his head on the ground. “Yes, yes, my lord! I will obey!” He rose up slightly and faced Rin.
“Rin, you little fool! That’s what you get for spying!”
     “JAKEN!” Sesshoumaru’s voice shot around the clearing like heavy artillery, and Jaken was again knocking
head. He continued to do so until he was at the edge of the treeline. Rin, with one last curious bow in
Sesshoumaru’s direction, followed him. With a look of utter melancholy, Jaken sighed and began speaking as they
entered the forest. “Rin, you see...when a man and a woman–well, in this case, a youkai lord and a wind demon love
each–er, like each other very much...or at least don’t hate each other...oh, what was my lord Sesshoumaru thinking
with...”
    “Master Jaken,” Rin asked, “do you have a small penis too?”

    Inuyasha, now back to his normal hanyou form, abruptly sat up straight, nearly toppling over his ramen breakfast.
Kagome was instantly alert. “What is it, Inuyasha?”
    Inuyasha gripped Tetsusaiga. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “It was as if a million youkai cried out in terror and
were suddenly silenced.”
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Silly Little Love Songs