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These Things I Know	By : NihilEtNemo Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 2712 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-These Things That I Know
- 1
TITLE: These Things I
Know
CHAPTER: oneshot
AUTHOR: Ankh Ascendant ( setosgirl0 /
neferseti0 )
DATE: 9-7-09
FANDOM: Inuyasha
DISCLAIMER: I
don’t own Inuyasha, or make any money from it.
PAIRINGS:
Inuyasha/Sesshoumaru
TYPE: Romance
RATING: PG
WARNINGS: no
warnings
OCs: none
BETA: none
WORDS: 977
SUMMARY: Kagome
has returned and taken Inuyasha away from Sesshoumaru... Sesshou
POV
NOTES: This was written from a list of writing prompts, found
at neferseti0.livejournal.com. This prompt was “envy”.

* * *

These Things I
Know

“Onii-san!”

Her voice is stuck in my mind... It's a
splinter stuck in my paw that I can't dig out, burrowing deeper every
time I try.

It's not enough that she finally
returned to finish taking him, she has to rub my face in it...

What is she doing here? This is not her
time, or her place. She doesn't belong here.

Go away, bitch, and leave him to me,
where he belongs...

“Brother-in-law!”

No! That is my Inuyasha, not yours. She
is nothing but a common thief of a woman, flouncing in and taking
what doesn't belong to her...

I know he belongs to her. I know he
only passed time with me while he waited for her. I knew she would
return, as he did, and I knew this would end... and turn out like
this.

But I do not let go so easily. He knew
this.

But I cannot blame him... only her.

“Inuyasha.”

He looks up, unerringly toward me,
leaning on the bare spot in the tree bark. Our meeting place is
deserted as ever, save for me and him. The foolish humans still think
this forest is haunted. His bitch-woman? I don't know, but not with
him here... mercifully. I do not know what I would do if she had
followed him to our place.

“Sesshoumaru...” He looks
miserable. I should not be surprised. Poor Inuyasha with his human
heart, struggling in the ropes he's bound himself with. I don't have
any pity for him. This is the bed you have made Inuyasha.

I step close, close enough to be
surrounded by the smell of him, but don't reach out, leaving that to
him. He does, of course, touching my fur and the letting his hand
drop.

“She's back.” His hand
settles restlessly at his side and his eyes roam around, looking
everywhere but at mine. “Kagome, I mean. But you know that...”

“Yes, I saw.” My claws
touch his chin and force him to meet my eyes. He will
deal with this.

I can
see him struggling to maintain the eye contact, but he doesn't look
away. Yet. He will, I know. After three years, I know him well.
Better than she, I'm sure.

“I
guess I came to say good-bye.”

“No,
you didn't.” You came because you want me, and will always ant
me, but know it's easier to break my heart than hers... because I
don't have one, right? You fool.

“You
always knew, when she came back...” He shrugs, trying to make
it not his problem. Oh no, this is not my fault, this is yours, do
not pass it off. “We're getting married.”

“I
hate her.”

That
finally gets his full attention, and his eyes don't make any effort
to leave mine. Was that so hard? “You're not going to...”

“No,
I'm not going to injure her.” I am fully capable of hating from
a distance. He would destroy me if I touched her, anyway. I don't
have much choice.

It's
more satisfying to punish her and him by letting them be together.

“Good.”
He relaxes. “You knew
it wouldn't last.”

He
keeps saying that, as if it will assuage his guilt. It won't. He knew
as well, and this is his fault. I won't take the blame.

I
blame her, though she didn't know. This is her fault, but not
entirely.

This
is entirely his fault, but I only wish I could blame him.

I will
not be blamed, however.

“So
did you, Inuyasha.”

He
slumps a little. “I know. We both knew, okay?”

I have
nothing to say to him. This is his fault, and I will not relieve him
of his guilt. I won't release him. He was good enough at taking what
he wanted three years ago... He will make up his mind on his own, and
live with the consequences, and not look back. And he will do it
himself.

“I'm
sorry.”

That's
something I actually believe from him. He is sorry... but not in the
way that would make him do anything about it.

He
resents me for not telling him it's all right for him to leave. He
would have my blessings for his 'happiness', and then blithely wander
to his woman, guilt-free, and sleep easily at night. He wants me to
set him free.

If he
thinks I would do that, he is mistaking me for a person much nicer
than I am.

I
don't think he deserves that.

If he
wants to resent someone, it should be her, she who wanders into his
life and expects him to come back, knowing he will, a good little
puppy scampering to her call.

Or he
should resent himself, for giving in to her, because he can't help
it. If he were stronger, he wouldn't have to, but he has no one to
blame save himself.

“Sesshoumaru...”

“I'm
not going to stop you.”

“I
said I'm sorry...”

“I
heard you.” And it's not my responsibility to forgive you. Be a
man and forgive yourself, if you think you deserve it, or go crawling
to her to do it for
you if you don't, or can't.

Not
that I imagine for a second she is ever going to know about this...
any more than anyone else does.

He
looks away, dejected again. No, still not strong enough to stand on
his own... admit what he wants even to himself. I'll have to remain a
dirty little secret and a fond memory.

There
is no place for me here. I turn and start to walk away.

“Sesshoumaru,
wait!”

I
don't look toward him; I don't have to. Come and find me when you are
ready, Inuyasha.

“I
will.”

~end~
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These Things I Know