Somebody To Love | By : SplendentGoddess Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > InuYasha/Kagome Views: 5381 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Inuyasha, and the characters therein, are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I am in no way affiliated with Takahashi or VIZ Productions, and I do not gain financially from my fanfic in any way. |
- Jefferson Airplane
Sitting in the shade underneath the Goshinboku, Inuyasha begrudgingly opened his eyes as he heard Miroku's approach.
"Whaddya want, bouzu?" he asked harshly.
"Inuyasha, I believe you know why I am here."
"Forget it. I don't need another lecture, especially not from you. My ears are still ringin' from Sango's bitching."
Of course, he knew he couldn't really blame his friends for being angry with him; he and Kagome had had another fight, causing the miko to run home in tears, again. But they just didn't understand! He had to keep his distance from Kagome. It wasn't that he thought so little of the future-born miko, it was the exact opposite, but it was for that reason that he couldn't allow her to get too close to him. He knew Kagome didn't think differently of him for his youkai blood, believing in his heart that her feelings of friendship for him were genuine, but he was a selfish bastard. He wanted so much more than her friendship. So much more than what he was allowed to have, or even had any right to think about. He couldn't allow her to suspect that he held any kind of desire for her.
Unfortunately, Miroku could read him like a book. He did the exact same thing, after all, in an opposite sort of way. But all of his flirtatiousness around Sango, his shameless groping and lewd comments, those actions were meant to conceal his deeper feelings as well. He could never hope to pretend that he was not attracted to the taijiya, so instead, he pretended to still be attracted to any member of the opposite sex. Once upon a time he truly had been a lady's man, but no longer did his flirting with random village girls mean anything to him. Sango was the only one he wanted.
Sighing, Miroku decided that when it came to dealing with the surly hanyou, being blunt and straightforward was the best course of action. Taking a seat directly across from him, he decided to get straight to the point.
"I did not come out here to lecture you regarding your mistreatment of Kagome-sama's feelings. However, I do believe a reevaluation on your part may be in order. Perhaps you needn't resort to such extreme measures to keep her at a distance."
"What're ya yammerin' on about?" Inuyasha asked, feigning disinterest.
"Inuyasha, please, from one man to another, cease the routine. You desire Kagome-sama as strongly as I desire the lovely Sango. Perhaps even more so."
Spluttering in a comical display of non-committal grunts, Inuyasha's weak attempt at denial was immediately shot down when the monk leaned forward, his face mere inches in front of his own, as he stated quite boldly, "You are in love with Kagome-sama, and Kagome-sama is in love with you."
Inuyasha's denial was pronounced a bit more forcefully, then, though it wasn't his own feelings that he denied.
"Forget it, monk, there's no way you're gonna convince me that she sees me as anything more than a friend."
Miroku merely raised an eyebrow, backing up a few paces to give the hanyou his space.
"Is that a challenge? Because I do believe I have ample evidence with which to base my claim."
"Name one thing she's done that can't just as easily be considered an act of friendship." Inuyasha demanded.
The monk did not even hesitate before answering with, "Confessing to Sango in confidence her unrequited love."
Inuyasha merely snorted.
"Yeah right, like I'm gonna believe Sango would break such confidence to tell you something like that, even if it were true, which it ain't."
"I did not say that it was Sango who told me."
Instant jealousy fueled his blood, and Miroku suddenly found himself dangling by his robes as Inuyasha hauled him up and off his feet, slamming his back against the rough bark of the Goshinboku. Shoving his face directly into the monk's, Inuyasha threatened, "If you dared spy on them bathing together after I told you not to go anywhere near Kagome I swear I'll-"
"Relax!" Miroku shouted desperately, "I swear, I only have eyes for Sango!"
Dropping the houshi on his ass with an undignified snort, Inuyasha turned and stared up into the branches of the Goshinboku, seeking its calming influence. He knew the only time the girls ever really had to be alone together and talk was during a soak in a hot spring, so when else could Miroku have possibly overheard such a comment? Of course, that was presuming the statement was true...which it wasn't.
Rising to his feet and dusting himself off, Miroku explained in that moment, "It was Shippou who confided in me, the girls often allowing him to bathe with them but then seemingly forgetting about his presence as they begin their 'girl talk'."
Okay...that seemed plausible.
"So you use the runt as a spy?"
Miroku merely shrugged. "He is not there against the girls' will or knowledge." he explained, as if he were perfectly within his rights to have Shippou relay their conversations to him afterwards. Of course, if the girls truly hadn't thought to swear the kitsune to secrecy, then it was partially their own faults.
Still, Inuyasha refused to accept the word of a fox kit over what he knew to be true in his own heart.
"There's no way Kagome ever said anything like that. She might've said she loves me, but she would've only meant it as a friend, probably just cryin' about why I'm so mean to her instead of being a nice friend back. Shippou just misunderstood."
"I wouldn't be so sure." Miroku insisted.
Inuyasha just snorted again.
"Even if she did feel that way about me, nothing could ever come of it."
"Why?"
"Why?!" Inuyasha echoed, as if the monk really didn't know the answer. "Because I'm a hanyou, that's why!" he practically yelled.
"Surely you know that Kagome-sama does not think differently of you for your youkai blood."
"Not 'thinking differently' of me and being attracted to me are two very different things." Inuyasha insisted. "Nobody could ever love a hanyou...like that. Even if...even if she really does...feel that way about me, which I don't think she does, there's no way she'd ever be willing to actually be with me as a hanyou. I'm unclean. I could never have that kind of a relationship with her."
"Just because Kikyou-sama desired to use the jewel to turn you human-"
"Spare me the 'Kagome ain't Kikyou' speech, okay?" the hanyou interrupted. "I know she's her own person, believe me. But even with as open-minded as Kagome is, even someone as kindhearted as her has their limits."
"Of that, I have no doubt." Miroku conceded, adding, "The only thing you need ask yourself is whether or not it is a limit along the lines of which you are implying, or if it is instead a limit of how much cruelty she is willing to endure from you. I must say, your logic is severely skewed, my friend, if you believe that in order to keep her at a safe distance you must deliberately go out of your way to be mean to her. But I know your behavior is not because you are attempting to discourage her from developing feelings for you, since you clearly find it so doubtful that she could ever do so based on your heritage. Rather, your behavior is meant to denounce within her the possibility of you possessing feelings for her, am I right?"
"So what if you are? You do the same shit with Sango, pretending you only see her as a piece of ass when you're in love with her."
"Touché, however, I have a legitimate reason for needing to keep Sango at a safe distance until after Naraku can be successfully defeated." Raising his right hand, Miroku silently reminded the hanyou of his curse.
Grunting, Inuyasha retaliated by pointing at his ears. "Lucky you, your curse will go away once Naraku's dead. I'm stuck like this for the rest of my life."
"So then, does that mean you have given up your original desire of using the Shikon no Tama to become a full youkai?"
Inuyasha opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it again, eyes blinking as it took him a moment to process his friend's words. It was true, of course; he no longer wanted to become a full youkai, but why? Because he knew Kagome didn't want him to? Yes, he supposed that was part of it, but honestly...the truth was that he was scared of becoming a monster. Of becoming like how he got whenever he transformed without Tetsusaiga. Miroku had been right way back when, when he'd asked him about his heart changing, if he were to use the jewel to turn full youkai. Inuyasha hadn't believed it at the time, but now...he couldn't take any chances.
"I...I wanted to become a normal full youkai, like Sesshoumaru or whatever, but...I've seen what the jewel is capable of. I would probably become a bloodthirsty killer, and...that isn't me. I wouldn't want that."
Miroku gave his friend a genuine smile, replying with, "I am very happy to hear that."
Inuyasha thought their conversation was pretty much over, so it surprised him when the houshi spoke back up again after a few moments of silence had passed between them.
"So...about Kagome-sama..."
Sighing loudly, Inuyasha rolled his eyes before stressing, "No, just forget about it. I know I'm a dick to her and it hurts her feelings 'cause she wants us to be friends, but it's something I just gotta do. I...I can't risk her ever finding out how I really feel. If she didn't osuwari me straight into Hell for being a hentai pervert, it would at the very least destroy her feelings of friendship for me, and I...I can't lose that. Kagome's the first true friend I've ever had, and yeah...you 'n' Sango...I consider you guys my friends too, now, but it's all thanks to her. She taught me how to have friends. But if she knew how I really felt about her..."
Tilting his head back to glance up into the Goshinboku's branches once again, Inuyasha took a deep, slow breath through his nose.
"I love her." he admitted suddenly, much to Miroku's surprise. He hadn't expected the hanyou to actually confess his feelings so openly. "I love her so badly it hurts." he continued. "I...I never felt this way about Kikyou. I mean, I loved her too, but it...it was nowhere near as powerful as my feelings for Kagome. I mean I never...ya know, I never fantasized about Kikyou. I was more like a lost puppy around her, and I wanted to be forever in her presence, but I guess I'd never really thought things through beyond that point. With Kagome...kami..."
Coming forward, Miroku placed a reassuring hand on Inuyasha's shoulder.
"I understand, my friend."
Miroku was stunned speechless to see the look of pain reflected in Inuyasha's eyes as he glanced his way.
"I don't deserve her. I shouldn't even think such things about her, and the fact that I do only goes to prove how filthy I really am. Kagome would never want to dirty herself with my touch. I mean, I know she doesn't mind touching me, but patching me up after a battle is different. I'm her friend, after all."
Quickly shrugging off Miroku's hand before pulling himself together, Inuyasha tilted his head from side to side as he popped his neck, sniffing once before clearing his throat.
"Well, it doesn't matter, but maybe you're right, maybe I shouldn't be quite so mean to her. I don't want her to think that I outright hate her and have her start hating me in return. I'll give it another hour or so, and then I'll go apologize like a whelp with my tail between my legs. That oughta appease her."
With that said, Inuyasha bound away into the forest, leaving Miroku alone to his thoughts. He wanted to approach Kagome with all that he'd learned, though he knew it was not his place to do so. Inuyasha respected his position with Sango, and he had to grant him the same liberties in return. Turning and heading back towards Kaede's hut then, the houshi remained unaware of the hidden eyes that watched his departure thoughtfully.
Coming out of his hiding place, Shippou sighed in relief at having successfully remained undetected by both mean throughout the duration of their 'talk'. It hadn't been his intention to spy on such a private conversation. Actually, he had been in the process of sneaking up on Inuyasha to bully the hanyou about his mistreatment of Kagome when Miroku had suddenly made his approach, and the kitsune had then decided to stay hidden thinking that the monk was about to tear into Inuyasha as Sango had previously done. He'd wanted to bear witness to that. Instead, what he'd seen and heard ...shaking his head, Shippou knew that Miroku probably wouldn't tell Kagome what all Inuyasha had confessed, but fortunately, he didn't have to.
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That evening found the entire inu-tachi talking peacefully around Kaede's cook fire, even if the atmosphere was a little more somber than usual. True to his word, Inuyasha had followed Kagome to her time around one hour after his conversation with Miroku, grumbling half-apologies through tightly sealed emotions. It had been enough to get Kagome to forgive him, it always was, and she had agreed to go back through the well with him. Now, as Kagome assisted Kaede with that night's dinner preparations, the future-born miko found herself wondering why she even bothered anymore. Not why she kept on returning to the past...as much as she hated to admit it, Inuyasha was actually right in that it was her responsibility to collect the shards and purify the jewel. She knew that, and she had every intention of seeing her mission through to the end. What she couldn't understand, however, was why she still bothered daring to hope that Inuyasha could ever one day come to see her as anything more than just a shard detector. She did believe that somewhere deep inside he considered her a friend on some small level, but having grown up with the type of life that she knew he'd had, she supposed she couldn't really blame him for wanting to keep so much of himself cut off from the rest of the world. Still, it hurt, that after all that they'd been through together he still insisted upon keeping a wall around himself, refusing to let her into his heart even just a little bit. She knew there would never be a lot of room in his heart for her, given his feelings for Kikyou, but all she'd ever tried to get from him was friendship. Was that too much to ask? She knew they couldn't be together together, but why couldn't he be even just a little bit nicer to her? Why did she have to fall in love with a man who insisted upon acting as though he barely even tolerated her existence? She supposed she should feel grateful that he at least referred to her by her name these days, rather than just 'wench' or 'bitch' as he had often called her back at the very beginning. That had to count for something, right? Still, it was more than a little depressing to know that he didn't even want to acknowledge her friendship, which was all she'd ever verbally offered him, when in reality she actually wanted so much more than that. But considering how he acted whenever she tossed the 'friend' word around, she didn't even want to think about what would happen if she ever actually came forward and confessed her love. Even if it truly touched him somewhere deep inside, he would be sure not to let it show, she was certain. He would probably insult her for it, and would either then proceed to ignore it completely, remaining as how he was now, or...and even worse...he might revert back to an earlier, even more hostile attitude towards her, if he ended up blaming himself for her feelings because he'd 'gone soft' or something.
Dinner was a quiet affair overall, everyone in the hut feeling the lingering tension from that afternoon's fight, so nobody noticed it when a certain kitsune cub remained much quieter than usual, himself. Contemplating his options, Shippou knew that while he would love to go up to Kagome and tell her right then and there that he had something very important to tell her, things were likely to blow up in his face if he even gave the slightest hint of knowing what was up while in the hanyou's presence. That meant that not only did he have to get Kagome alone, but he also had to wait for the opportunity to present itself naturally. He couldn't whisper to Kagome that he needed to speak with her in private, because no matter how quiet he attempted to be, if his whisper were loud enough for Kagome to hear him, then Inuaysha would most certainly hear him as well - at least while in such close quarters. So it was with that final thought in mind that the kitsune decided that patience would be best in this situation, observing Inuyasha's stolen glances in Kagome's direction with a thoughtful frown.
It was when the inu-tachi were preparing to head out the following morning after breakfast that an idea came to Shippou, and the boy silently congratulated himself on his genius. Openly expressing his gratitude for Kagome's return, he took advantage of being 'just a kid' to also express his dislike of Inuyasha's poor treatment of her.
"I'm soooooooo glad you came back, Kagome!" he cheered, adding, "Inuyasha's such a baka!" for good measure.
His praise of Kagome's return and criticism of Inuyasha's cruel behavior continued for several minutes, enough to ensure the foul attitude of said hanyou, as he suddenly stormed off far ahead of the others with an utterance of "I don't need this shit."
Once Shippou was certain that the inu-hanyou had distanced himself far enough away to no longer be within earshot, he dropped the routine and bound up into Kagome's arms, the miko not having been amused by his antics either, though she was more willing to forgive the boy his youthful foolishness. That was when Kagome learned the true measure of Shippou's trickery.
"I thought he'd never leave..." Shippou began, keeping his voice low, just in case. "Kagome, there's something I gotta tell you...Inuyasha is a baka, but not in the way you think."
Turning to glance Kagome's way in curiosity at the sudden silence, Miroku's eyes widened slightly to see the boy in her arms, the two apparently deep in conversation, though their words were too quiet for him to hear from his position. Still, suspecting that he just might know what their conversation was about, especially if Kagome's expression was any indication, he quickened his pace in that moment, catching up to where Sango was walking ahead of him. Engaging the taijiya in polite conversation, he wanted a sound buffer between the miko and kitsune and the surly hanyou stomping ahead of them, to ensure their whispered words remained solely between the two of them. While it was true that he hadn't detected Shippou's presence during his conversation with Inuyasha the previous afternoon, when he had returned to the village he had been surprised by Kaede asking him if he had seen the boy, stating that the last time she'd seen him herself, he had been scampering off towards Inuyasha's position, and only a few minutes earlier than his own arrival at the Goshinboku. She had been surprised herself when he'd told her that he actually hadn't run into the boy, though the monk had immediately started thinking after that. He had temporarily dismissed the thought when Shippou didn't immediately say anything upon Kagome's initial return to their time, but now he wasn't so sure. Miroku knew that the kitsune had been getting better with his illusions as of late. Hypothetically, if Shippou really had been close by at that time, hiding anywhere within earshot...
Deciding that he could only hope, Miroku did his part to assist the kitsune in that moment by maintaining his chitchat with Sango, bringing their conversation around to humorous topics that allowed him to laugh boisterously, ensuring that the inu-hanyou would not be able to hear past his own volume to the whispered scheming taking place several paces back.
Kagome was reluctant to believe it, at first, but promising on his father's honor that he was telling the truth, the future-born-miko knew to take Shippou's words seriously. In a whispered hush, he told her everything. He told her how he'd doubled back through the forest, preparing to sneak up on Inuyasha from behind, when Miroku had suddenly approached from straight ahead, and how he'd stayed hidden then, listening in on their conversation because he'd wanted to hear Inuyasha get torn into a second time. Shippou then went on to tell Kagome the exact nature of their conversation, and everything that had been admitted, by both parties. Kagome had already suspected Miroku's deeper feelings for Sango, so she was pleased to learn that she had been right in that regard, but learning that Inuyasha was desperately in love with her was a little harder to swallow. However, once the kitsune explained to her what he understood to be Inuyasha's reasoning for always acting the way he did, she started to lose her doubt in favor of indignation. How dare he think so little of himself?! Well...that attitude of his would change soon enough if she had anything to say in the matter.
"Thank you for telling me this, Shippou-chan." Kagome expressed then, figuring that they should probably drop it for the time being and catch up with Sango and Miroku before Inuyasha began to suspect anything. It wouldn't do for him to get suspicious regarding her knowledge or intentions. Not for what she had planned.
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"This looks like a good spot to make camp." Inuyasha declared later that night, as he and his companions trudged along through the woods.
Nobody was truly surprised by the hanyou's uncharacteristic display of willfully seeking a place to make camp even before any of the humans had a chance to voice their desire to stop for the night. He was always a little more lenient towards certain things after a recent fight between himself and Kagome, as if silently trying to get back on the miko's good side.
"I agree." said miko spoke up in that moment, as Kagome shot Inuyasha a deliberately hesitant smile. She wanted him to think that she was still bothered by yesterday's fight.
It wasn't really as if their fight from the day before had been anything extraordinary. It hadn't been any more, or less hurtful, than any of their previous arguments. She had used up all of her arrows in an unexpected youkai attack a few days prior, and so they'd all headed back to Kaede's village to restock on those, as well as some other supplies they were running low on. Kagome didn't currently have any tests, so Inuyasha had actually been in a good mood to learn that she hadn't planned on asking him for a few days off just because they were in the neighborhood. She had already returned home that morning to pick up more Ninja food and medical supplies and had already been back in the Sengoku jidai when their fight had broken out. Kagome wasn't even sure what'd started the argument any more. Some passing comment she'd made about wanting their mission to be over. She had only meant that she was tired of all the struggling, all the death...she wanted Naraku defeated and the jewel completed once and for all not because she was sick of the burden, but because she was constantly worried for all the countless innocents she knew were in perpetual danger so long as a beast as evil as the dark hanyou continued to live. How many innocents had been victimized just as a means to lure them out? How many times had Naraku slaughtered entire clans or villages merely to set a trap for them? She wanted it to end.
Of course, looking back on it, Kagome had supposed she could understand how her single passing comment about wanting their mission to be over could have been taken in a different way by the insecure hanyou. He had probably assumed that she was growing tired of constantly having to return to their world. That had certainly been the way he'd responded, snapping back with something along the lines of sarcastic pity for her having to take time out of her 'busy' and 'important' life in the future to blister her feet and sleep in the dirt. Before she could even properly defend herself Inuyasha had then gone on to once again compare her to Kikyou, and how her preincarnation had accepted her duty and responsibilities with dignity and honor. Most of the yelling match was a blur after that, though Kagome supposed it didn't really matter what had been said between them. The end result had apparently been what Inuyasha had secretly been striving for all along, upsetting her to the point of her running home in tears. According to Shippou, Inuyasha was going out of his way to be cruel to her so that she wouldn't possibly come to suspect how he truly felt about her. Looking at things from that perspective, he had probably understood the intended meaning of her comment about their mission all along, and had only seized the opportunity to feign a misunderstanding so that he could start the fight between them.
Kagome had been ready to forgive him even before learning the truth. Running back home in tears, she hadn't wanted her family to see her so upset, and so she'd headed to the Goshinboku, using its calming influence to help her see things from Inuyasha's point of view. That was when she'd first come to the conclusion that he had misunderstood her, and that his hostility had come from his perception of her whining about their mission simply because she didn't want to do it any more. Of course, a tiny glimmer of hope buried deep within her heart had also told her that maybe he was upset because he thought that once their mission was over, that she planned on leaving their world for good, not that she could ever truly abandon him, or any of her other friends in the past for that matter. Not after all that they'd been through together. Even after their mission was over, Kagome had every intention of continuing to visit the past on a regular basis, probably at the very least spending all of her weekends there. Still, she was sure Inuyasha didn't know that; it wasn't like they'd ever actually discussed it or anything. So if he had thought that her statement of wanting their mission to be over equated to her stating she was tired of going to their world, that would be a legitimate reason for him to be upset, especially if he secretly did appreciate her friendship and he didn't want her to go. The miko had decided in that moment that, somehow, she would have to find a way to talk about it casually, probably with Sango but with Inuyasha deliberately within hearing range, of how she did in fact plan on continuing to visit their world once the mission was over. Hopefully that would appease his worries in that regard.
When he had shown up to bring her back, fumbling through what she had suspected was supposed to be an apology, Kagome had offered him a forgiving smile before immediately agreeing to return with him, her family never even knowing about this latest, silly fight, as she'd still been sitting on the bench overlooking the Goshinboku when Inuyasha had shown up to retrieve her. Now, as preparations went underway for setting up camp for the night, Kagome found her thoughts running a mile a minute. Oh, she definitely forgave Inuyasha for his foolishness, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to make him pay. Though, somehow, she didn't think he would be all that bothered by what she really had in mind. The trick would be getting him all alone. If Shippou was being completely honest with his retelling of the conversation he'd overheard, then what she had planned would probably stun the hanyou speechless, at least for the first minute or two, until...hopefully...his inner most desires would simply override his fears. Kagome did believe that Shippou was being honest; the kit had even confessed to the part where Miroku had told Inuyasha of her confession to Sango, which Shippou had then immediately apologized for, though all things considered, the miko forgave him his reconnaissance for the monk. Maybe she had said such a thing in front of the boy because, subconsciously, she had actually hoped that it would get back to Inuyasha somehow, since she knew she didn't have the courage to approach him about her feelings herself.
She didn't used to have the courage, at least.
Dinner that night was as quiet as the previous evening in Kaede's hut. If either Sango or Miroku suspected that she was up to something, they gave no indication as they each went about their normal routine of settling down for the night after dinner was over. Pretending she was sleepy as well, Kagome settled herself down into her sleeping bag, knowing that there was no way unconsciousness would find her with as nervous and excited as she suddenly felt. It felt like a thousand butterflies were trying to break free from her stomach, and she worried momentarily that Inuyasha could hear the frantic pounding of her heart. Still, the hanyou kept to himself, perched on his chosen branch for the night, keeping watch as he often did. Lying with her back to him, Kagome could almost swear she could feel Inuyasha's eyes boring into her, though she knew that if she turned to glance his way he would be looking anywhere else but at her.
After enough time had passed that she was fairly certain both Miroku and Sango were genuinely asleep, Kagome slinked out of her bedding as quietly as possible, slipping on her shoes before disappearing into the woods, deliberately not taking a moment to glance back in Inuyasha's direction. She couldn't risk him seeing her look back his way, so she just had to pray that he had in fact been watching her leave. At first, she was sure he would probably just assume that she had headed into the thicket to relieve herself, so he wouldn't start to worry until he realized that she was taking much longer than normal.
Continuing to travel in a straight line away from camp, Kagome thanked small miracles for the unobstructed light of the full moon shining down on her from above. She had plenty of light to see by, and she absolutely refused to do something stupid like get lost. This wasn't about Inuyasha coming to her rescue, after all. Pausing once she was sure she was a decent distance from camp, Kagome closed her eyes and concentrated...and smiled when less than five minutes later she detected Inuyasha's demonic aura closing in on her. He was following her, most likely curious about what she was up to, and also to keep an eye on her in case the 'idiot' that she was got herself into any trouble. She could almost hear his thoughts, and she did her best to avoid giggling in that moment. He was probably furious with her! What the hell was she thinking, wandering off in the middle of the night, right? Oh...but he would soon find out.
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Inuyasha wasn't just furious, he was livid!
Just what the fuck is she up to?! he mentally cursed as he followed stealthfully behind the wandering miko.
Was she sleepwalking, perhaps? He'd never known her to be a sleepwalker before, but he supposed that anything was possible. It just didn't make any sense that she would just suddenly up and head straight off into the forest. It was a damn good thing he hadn't been taking a nap!
Keh...fucking wench...I can't take my eyes off you for a second...
Of course, said eyes closed slightly, a silly grin climbing up the edges of his lips as that thought crossed his mind. He really couldn't take his eyes off of her, but not because he feared she would get into trouble if left to her own devices. While he was definitely curious as to just what the hell Kagome was up to, he would just observe her from the shadows of the forest, to make sure the wench didn't get herself into any trouble. Should a random youkai show up thinking that a young maiden all by herself would make a tasty snack he would be there in less than a heartbeat to feed the youkai Tetsusaiga instead, but other than that, he didn't need to go out of his way to jump down in front of the miko and start biting her head off for her foolishness. He always tried to keep their arguments fairly spaced apart, so it wouldn't be good to be too pricky to her again so soon.
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Kagome's smile didn't waver as she continued to concentrate, detecting when the approach of Inuyasha's aura came to a stop, indicating that he had paused in his pursuit of her. He probably thought that he was at a safe enough distance to monitor her in secret from the shadows. Didn't he know that she could sense his youki?
He's about to find out... she thought, snickering quietly before speaking up at a clear volume, "Inuyasha, you can come out. I know you're there."
Momentarily caught off guard by the unexpected sound of her voice, Inuyasha unconsciously flinched from his position on a nearby branch, causing the leaves to rustle in the dark. Blushing slightly at the realization that he hadn't been quite as sneaky as he'd thought, he leapt down from his tree and approached where Kagome stood, temporarily forgetting that he should be upset with her for her attempt at being sneaky.
Not having any idea what to say to break the awkward silence between them as he approached, Inuyasha didn't have long to worry about that minor detail, because as soon as he came within view of Kagome's more limited nighttime vision, she was the first one to speak.
"Inuyasha...thank you for coming out here, I wanted to talk to you."
Jaw dropping slightly, the hanyou gaped at her disbelievingly.
"You...you led me out here?" he asked her, his voice more surprised than accusative.
Shyly glancing down at the ground while twisting the toe of her right shoe in the dirt, Kagome then peaked up at him through her bangs, knowing that his superior night vision could probably pick up every nuance of her expression.
"I wanted to speak with you in private, but I was afraid if I asked you back at camp if I could talk to you that you might've said no, or at least asked what for, and I didn't want to risk waking the others. I knew that if I just walked off you'd follow me...to protect me."
"Feh..." he grumbled, glad her human night vision couldn't see his mild blush. Inuyasha's first instinct was to deny her words, a knee jerk reaction whenever he felt confronted by his own emotions, but after giving the matter a moment of thought, he realized that to deny he had followed her to protect her would only make matters worse, indicating that he had followed her for other reasons, instead.
"Well of course I've gotta protect your ass when you're always doin' something stupid like this." he said instead, feigning feeling burdened. "I mean, what the hell, Kagome? What if I hadn't followed you? Then you'd be all alone in the middle of nowhere, stupid."
She wasn't offended.
"But I knew you would." was her only reply, her voice suddenly going much softer.
Wondering at her tone, Inuyasha cleared his throat, and starting to feel more than a little nervous, he finally asked her, "So...what'd ya wanna talk about?"
This is it, she thought, more than a little nervous herself. He'll either run off into the night scared out of his wits, or that special something will 'click' in his brain and he'll turn into the lover of my favorite romance manga...
Kagome had thought long and hard, and not wanting to inadvertently sign poor Shippou's death warrant should her plan backfire, she would leave the kitsune's name - and Inuyasha's entire conversation with Miroku, for that matter - out of it.
"I just can't take it any more, Inuyasha..." she started then, her voice playfully whining.
Coming forward at his confused expression, she walked right up to him and placed a hand on his chest. "I can't stand all of our petty arguments. I'm sick of it; I don't want to fight with you any more. I have a confession to make, and even if you hate me for the rest of my life, it would be better than living a lie."
Progressing from nervous to downright frightened, the poor hanyou had absolutely no idea what Kagome was going to say, though his greatest fear was that it was going to be something along the lines of her truly no longer wanting to participate in their mission. He knew that that hadn't been what she'd meant when she'd made that comment yesterday afternoon...or at least, he hadn't thought that'd been what she'd meant. Was it possible that she really was tired of coming to his world?
The next words out of Kagome's mouth caused his brain to come to a screeching halt.
"I love you, Inuyasha. I love you so badly it hurts, and I want to be with you, like how a man loves a woman."
Gazing lovingly into Inuyasha's eyes, Kagome found his current 'deer-in-the-headlights' look to be somewhat disconcerting. She could feel how powerfully his heart was racing from her right hand still resting flat against his chest, and she mentally cursed herself for scaring the poor guy half to death.
Oh well...at least he didn't run away...
Inuyasha probably would have run away, but he found Kagome's words to be both hypnotic and debilitating. He was quite literally frozen to the spot, his thoughts flat-lining while his heart worked overtime to get more oxygen to his brain.
She...she loves...she wants... It was impossible for Inuyasha to form a completed thought, at least at first, until one piece of knowledge suddenly lodged itself into the forefront of his mind, refusing to be ignored.
"But...I'm a hanyou..."
Kagome wasn't quite sure how to describe the unparalleled level of defeat clearly visible in Inuyasha's eyes at those words. It wasn't the face of a boy who longed for a cherished toy that his parents couldn't afford to buy him. It wasn't even the face of a boy from a broken home whose mother had just told him that his father couldn't take him to the baseball game after all. The miko was honestly confused. From the extreme amount of pain she could read in his eyes, an outside observer would most likely presume that he had been the one to openly confess his love, while she had been the one to cruelly turn him down because of his mixed heritage. That he was the one rejecting her...
But he wasn't rejecting her, was he? No, he was rejecting himself. His words had been hesitant, unsure, as if he had somehow feared that she had temporarily forgotten that fact about him, and would now comically smack herself on the forehead in belated realization. Not honestly having any idea what to say to such an unexpected, vague statement, Kagome replied the only way she could think of.
"And...?"
His eyes noticeably widened at that, his look of defeat quickly morphing into one of shock.
"A-and?!" he repeated, suddenly at his own loss for words.
Sighing mildly, it was Kagome who continued then, taking her hand from his chest and moving it up to his head, lightly capturing his left ear between her thumb and index finger. He jumped slightly at the unexpected contact but didn't pull away from her touch, his eyes shimmering as he shakily met her gaze with his own.
"I know you're a hanyou, Inuyasha, but that doesn't matter to me. So you're not a normal human, so what? I'm not a normal human, either, in case you've forgotten, and I don't want to change either one of us. Yes, I do know that I have a responsibility to the jewel, and I will most certainly think of a way to purify it out of existence once it's completed, but using it to zap away your youkai half is absolutely out of the question. I love you just the way you are."
With that said, she lowered her right hand from his ear, hooking it around his neck as she raised herself up onto her toes, leaning forward while allowing her eyes to drift shut. Inuyasha's own eyes would have widened as her intention to kiss him dawned on him were it not for the fact that they were already as wide open as they could go at the conclusion of her little speech. So it was that Inuyasha received his first kiss, staring stunned at Kagome's closed eyelids. By the time his internal delayed reaction was ready to allow him to respond to the kiss it was already over, the miko pulling herself back away from him with a hesitant look of her own in her now open eyes.
Somewhere in the back of Inuyasha's mind, he was furious, yelling at himself to snap himself out of his stupor before he lost his one and only chance of a lifetime.
She isn't rejecting you! She loves you as you are! She's willing to be with you!
Taking an unsure step back at Inuyasha's somewhat vacant, yet also mildly upset expression, Kagome felt her own panic start to rise. What if he really didn't love her? What if he did, but...but couldn't act on it because of his obligations to Kikyou?
Kami...what if I've just ruined everything?
In the end, it was suddenly detecting the agitated state of the miko standing before him that pulled Inuyasha out of himself, as his eyes focused on the woman in front of him to note the worry in her gaze, as his ears honed in on the increased tempo of her heartbeat while his nose twitched at the unmistakable scent of gathering tears.
In a flash, Inuyasha reached out and tugged Kagome forward, pulling her into a tight embrace as he wrapped his arms around her as if he refused to ever let her go. Tucking her head against his chest, he rested his chin on the top of her head and just held her, his eyes closed. No words were said between them for several minutes.
Finally, it was Inuyasha who spoke first, though he didn't release his hold on her yet, hesitantly murmuring above her head at a volume barely loud enough for her to hear, "Do you...do you really mean that?"
Kagome was so lost in the feel of him, in the warmth of his embrace and the tremendous relief she felt from realizing her own growing fears had been misguided, that she almost didn't hear his timid question. Nodding against him, Kagome wriggled her way out of his grasp after a moment, and looking up into his hesitant yet hopeful orbs of golden amber gazing back down at her, the miko squared her shoulders before reaching up to grasp duel fistfuls of his suikan, pulling him down while simultaneously raising herself back up on her toes a second time.
This time, as he felt her lips brush up against his own for the second time, Inuyasha was less debilitated from his lingering shock, and was able to respond to the kiss before Kagome had a chance to pull away, wrapping his arms back around her a second time, one hand behind her back and the other behind her head, holding her to him firmly as he hungrily returned her kiss. Inuyasha was the one to take things further, opening his mouth and letting his tongue out to play, though Kagome's own surprise was short lived as she eagerly reciprocated. In less than two heartbeats, they were devouring each other, Kagome's left hand remaining fisted in his robes while her right hand climbed higher to tangle in his hair, mindful of his sensitive ears. It looked like that special something had clicked inside Inuyasha's brain, after all, or so Kagome thought as she eventually pulled away from the kiss, desperately panting for air. It was her intention to jump right back in after catching her breath, but happening to catch a glimpse of Inuyasha's face as the hanyou too panted heavily, Kagome hesitated in leaning forward a third time.
"What is it?" she asked him, disturbed by the look of remorse and disgust she caught in his eyes before he had a chance to avert his gaze from her scrutiny.
"I...I shouldn't have lost it like that." he muttered dejectedly, looking away from her.
Kagome didn't know whether she should roll her eyes or pull him into a hug and start rocking him back and forth, so she settled for somewhere in between. She truly did understand where all his self-loathing had come from, after all, living the kind of life he'd had, so she knew she shouldn't belittle him for his doubts no matter how foolish she personally thought they were.
"I wasn't trying to resist you, in case you hadn't noticed."
He blushed a little at that, turning back her way hesitantly with a hint of a smirk in his eyes.
"Inuyasha..." Kagome continued then. "Even though I don't agree with their viewpoint, I do understand how most humans feel about hanyou. I can understand your hesitance to hope that I could possibly see you as more than a friend, especially when me even thinking of you that highly is probably a shock to your system on some level. But you have a strong soul, and I refuse to baby you in this because to do so would be an insult to us both, therefore I'm only going to say all this once and you had better let the words seep passed that thick canine skull of yours. I don't give a shit that you happen to be half inu-youkai. I have now and have always merely considered you to be a person no different from any other in matters of heart and soul, and getting to know you, as a person, I truly came to think of you as a close friend, and eventually, I fell in love with you. I truly do love you, and I know you love me too. Your embrace and kiss said it all. I don't care what the rest of the world might have to say, how many bad names I'll be called for being with you or how many villages will refuse us hospitality. All I want is to be with you. Even my old life in my own time isn't as important to me as you are. After I'm finished with school and my world considers me an adult able to make my own decisions, I could disappear without my family getting into trouble. They could just tell everyone I moved away. While of course I'd like to be able to visit with my family on occasion, it's here in this time with you that I consider my home now, and as for yesterday, I only said what I said about wanting the mission to be over because I want all the danger, all the death and suffering to be over. I'm not going anywhere once Naraku is defeated and the jewel is purified. My place is here, by your side. So yes, I really mean it when I say I love you, that I want to be with you like how a man loves a woman, and you have my permission to 'lose it' much more thoroughly than you just did. I want to feel your naked body pressed against my own. I want to run my hands all over you, and feel your hands on me."
Pausing in her speech, she reached forward and grabbed Inuyasha's left wrist, raising his hand up to her chest and placing it over her right breast. Instead of a look of fear or self-doubt, Inuyasha's eyes shown with awe, love and adoration, and Kagome smiled sincerely when as she lowered her hand from his wrist he didn't pull his grip away from her, but instead, he began flexing his fingers, experimentally squeezing her breast. She had no doubt that he'd never felt one before. Izayoi feeding him as an infant obviously didn't count. Thoughts of his mother did spark another topic the miko wanted to address, however.
"Please don't misunderstand when I say this next part, but our desires aside, we will have to be careful not to conceive, at least for now. It would be too dangerous for me to be pregnant when we still have to fight Naraku, and also while I'm still in school in my time, something I really do need to finish if only for honor's sake. I can't show up with-child because that would be a huge dishonor to my familiar according to the standards of my time. It has nothing to do with you being a hanyou, my time just considers me too young to marry and have children. However, after our mission here is complete and I'm an adult by my time's customs, nothing would make me happier than settling down with you to raise a family. I realize our children will be part youkai, but I just don't care. I will love our children as surely as your mother loved you."
Inuyasha choked up a bit at her last words, pulling his hand away from her breast as he raised suspiciously moist eyes to meet her gaze.
"Kagome, I...I ain't no good with words and speeches and all that crap, but you deserve an apology for the way I've been treating you. I'm...sorry...for being such a jerk to you all the time. The truth is I've loved you for a long time now, but I didn't think you felt the same way, and I was just tryin' to make sure you didn't suspect my own feelings. I hope you can forgive me."
"Of course I forgive you." she replied understandingly. Perhaps a little too understandingly.
"Comin' out here, wanting to talk to me, confessin' what all you've said...it's like you already knew..." he stated, his tone of voice indicating he was rapidly putting the pieces together.
The jig is up... she thought, knowing she at least had to protect Miroku from an unjust retaliation.
"Please don't blame anything on Miroku-sama, he didn't betray your trust. The truth is, Shippou-chan had been hiding in the bushes while you two were talking yesterday. He told me everything this morning."
Inuyasha flushed crimson at her admittance, but found himself surprisingly torn between wanting to beat the kit to a pulp and thanking him.
"I admit it, brining you out here was a little sneaky on my part. I only got brave enough to confess my feelings because I found out you felt the same way. I never would've told you all I'd said otherwise, because your little plan had been working. I had no idea you had fallen for me as well. But please don't be mad at Shippou-chan. I really do love you and I meant every word I said about everything else."
Inuyasha laughed quietly before doing something that completely shocked Kagome. He reached forward with his right hand and playfully squeezed her left breast. She couldn't help but chuckle as well as she imagined he would've made a 'honk honk' noise had he been familiar with the old-fashioned squeeze horns that had originally inspired the gesture in her time.
"Mad at the runt?" he questioned then, taking the same hand and cupping the back of Kagome's head, holding her in place as he came in for a quick, chaste kiss. "I think I owe him one." the hanyou admitted after pulling away.
Instead of responding with words, Kagome reached forward in that moment, running her hands along Inuyasha's chest. Working his robes loose enough to reach the bare flesh that lied hidden underneath, Kagome relished in the sensation of running her hands along his bare chest while not checking him for injuries in the process. He hissed in pleasure as her right hand delved deeper within the folds of his clothing, finding and pinching his left nipple. Shrugging out of his robes, Kagome suddenly found Inuyasha standing topless before her, his suikan and kosode hanging behind him from where they were still tucked within his hakama. Feeling eager at his bold display, Kagome reached nimble fingers up to begin unfastening the buttons on her blouse, and while she blushed mildly at his fiery gaze, she didn't turn away from his hungry eyes even when she parted her blouse, shrugging the garment down her arms to reveal her standing before him clad only in her bra from the waist up.
Completely gone was any trace of hesitance or uncertainty within Inuyasha's being as he closed the distance between them, pulling Kagome back into a fierce embrace before lowering his mouth to her own, kissing her passionately while his right hand again found purchase of her left breast. Her nipples hardened in her excitement and he pinched the beaded flesh through the thin fabric of her bra. Growing bolder, Kagome bent her arms behind herself and unfastened the support garment, letting Inuyasha pull it away from her as the shoulder straps went slack. He had seen her breasts before, of course, but never intentionally and never from this close up. He could almost taste them, and in fact, as that thought popped into his head he immediately decided that that was a marvelous idea.
Kagome gasped then mewled in pleasure as he lowered his mouth to her left nipple, suckling from her gently before swirling his tongue around the pebbled flesh. This moment with Kagome was a dream come true and he intended on acting out each and every one of his fantasies.
Well, maybe not all in one sitting...
Still, even as that thought came to mind, and he realized that tonight was merely the first of potentially countless encounters between them, Inuyasha could not stop his heart from soaring as the situation finally, fully dawned on him. Not only did Kagome love him and he her, but they were lovers...in every sense of the term. She was his, emotionally and physically, and she didn't give a fuck what the rest of the world had to say about it. As Inuyasha shifted his oral attention to her right nipple in that moment, smirking against her flesh as she hissed in pleasure once more, he knew that he didn't give a fuck about what the rest of the world thought, either. All he'd cared about was what Kagome would think of him, having convinced himself that she couldn't possibly share his feelings. He had never felt so happy to realize he was wrong.
Continuing to lave her body with his tongue, it didn't take Inuyasha long to wonder what another part of her body might taste like, and knowing with a puff of pride to his chest that he was allowed not only that thought, but the action with which to answer his quandary, it was with confidence that his hands found their way to her skirt. Working the zipper down, Inuyasha smirked against her breast as he felt her skirt drop around her ankles, a faint "Eep" of surprise escaping the miko though she offered him no resistance as his hands began palming her supple legs and backside. Lowering himself along her body, Inuyasha grinned toothily up at her when she blinked down at him with a dazed expression, the miko taking a moment to register the visual of Inuyasha on his knees before her. Then his nose was in her crotch, inhaling madly, and Kagome couldn't stop the sudden laughter that bubbled up her chest at his playfulness.
"Laughing at me, are you?" he asked her from his place between her legs, the vibration of his words teasing her panty-clad womanhood.
"Well excuse me for feeling happy, sex is supposed to be fun, isn't it?" she answered in retaliation, her tone as equally teasing as his had been.
Smirking up at her, Inuyasha moved faster than she could see as he yanked his robes out from where they were still hanging behind him from his pants, laying his suikan out on the forest floor before tripping her up and dumping her on the fire-rat blanket. Kagome blinked the shock out of her eyes to suddenly find herself lying flat on her back gazing up into the cocky visage of her soon-to-be-lover.
"I've told you before that I feel happy and carefree whenever I'm with you, but back then I thought I didn't deserve to feel that way. Maybe I really don't deserve it, but I ain't gonna fight the feeling any more. I do have...obligations...but those obligations just consist of slaying Naraku, of gaining revenge against past deeds. It's just something I've gotta deal with right now, like you gotta deal with finding the shards and purifying the jewel, but then it'll all be over and done with. I won't sacrifice my life to pay a debt that isn't mine. My place is with you, Kagome, and that's a promise. Go ahead and laugh because you have every right to feel happy after all the crap I've put you through.
Blinking back tears at his touching words, Kagome sat up a little bit, unashamed of the way his gaze drifted a tiny bit lower than her face. Allowing him to stare at her chest as though her breasts were the eighth wonder of the world, especially considering the fact that allowing him to look was probably what he considered to be the greatest wonder of all, Kagome kicked off her shoes before stretching and bending her legs one at a time to reach and pull down her socks, tossing the stockings aside to remain lying propped up on his suikan clad only in a pair of white cotton panties.
Catching sight of the specific way he was kneeling before her, his legs spread wide and causing the loose fabric of his hakama to pull as taut as possible, a wicked idea popped into Kagome's head before suddenly, she was reaching towards him, palming his groin. He gasped at the unexpected contact, as she almost immediately found his concealed erection, grasping him firmly through his clothing. The discovery that he was hard was not unexpected on Kagome's part, however, and she giggled openly at his shocked expression before his eyes drifted closed in pleasure as she continued to stroke him.
"No fair..." he moaned after a moment, "I'm not done with you yet."
Releasing his clad stiffness, Kagome flashed him a sultry look before purring seductively, "Well here I am. Come and do me."
Groaning at the implication of her words, Inuyasha suddenly found himself ripping her panties away from her body, burring his nose in her naked curls as he lied down on his stomach before her, his weight bearing down on his neglected erection both relieving some of the tension and causing more at the same time. Kagome gasped at the unexpected sensation of him running his tongue along her opening, parting her legs to grant him better access. She had masturbated before, of course, but that was nothing like the sensation of his warm, wet tongue languidly exploring every inch of her.
"Kami..." she moaned, her hips writhing of their own accord. It didn't take Inuyasha long to learn what she liked the best, and soon he was flicking his tongue against her hardened clit. Reaching up with his hands, he held her in place as she started raising her hips in time with his strokes, spreading her nether lips to fully expose the hardened nub of flesh that rested just above her entrance. Closing his lips around her clit and sucking gently, Inuyasha began growling deep in the back of his throat, teasing her with the vibration. It wasn't long before Kagome was panting heavily, desperately trying to stay quiet when all she really wanted to do was scream his name to the heavens. Squeaking and moaning loudly when her climax overtook her, Kagome clawed at the dirt at her sides, trying to back away from his delicious torture though he refused to let her go. Not permitting her orgasm time to settle down, Inuyasha pressed the flat of his tongue hard against Kagome's clit and shook his head rapidly from side to side, much faster than a human man would be able to do. She choked on a scream then, the sound caught somewhere between a gasp and a sob, and finally when the faint words "No more..." leaked past her lips, Inuyasha backed away from her.
Gazing down at her with pride for being the one who had converted Kagome into the sweaty puddle of satisfaction she currently was, the miko looking back up at him with hazy, smiling eyes, Inuyasha's bravado didn't last long when nimble fingers once again found their way to his stiffness, this time reaching within the open slit at the side of his hakama to grasp his fundoshi directly. Immediately closing his eyes as a groan escaped him, when he felt Kagome's other hand begin tugging at the ties holding his hakama in place he didn't offer her any resistance, the nude miko sitting herself up after a moment to more fully work on her task. Part of her was completely sated from the experience Inuyasha had just given her, but a bigger part wanted to seek Inuyasha's own completion. She wouldn't be truly fulfilled until he was. Ridding the hanyou of his pants, his fundoshi was soon to follow, and suddenly Kagome found herself staring at a very naked, very aroused, very large penis.
Holy shit, is that whole thing going to fit?! she wondered in mild panic.
He had to be pushing ten inches, and his girth was rather impressive as well. Noticing her sudden distraction and sensing her mild spike of fear, Inuyasha chuckled good-naturedly, the hanyou fortunately not going into another wave of self-doubt from misunderstanding her apprehension. Still, he wasn't about to force her into something she wasn't ready for.
"We don't have to go any further if you're not ready, Kagome. What you've given me already...I won't doubt the sincerity of your feelings if you don't want to complete our joining tonight."
At his words, her apprehensions melted away, as she lied back down on his suikan while locking her eyes onto his own, her expression more full of love than lustful teasing.
"Just remember we have to be careful. It's not that I don't want to have your children..."
"I understand," he assured her. "Even though you're the right age in this time, your world is different, and I won't do anything to dishonor you in the eyes of your family. Plus you're right, it would be too dangerous for you to be carrying when we still have to complete the jewel and slay Naraku. Just the fact that you're willing to one day..."
Shaking the wonder from his head, he gazed down at her seriously and stated, "I'll be careful."
"I trust you." was her reply.
With that said, Inuyasha crawled fully up her body, settling himself between her legs. Kagome spread her legs wide in invitation, and cautiously, Inuyasha reached down with his left hand to grip himself, aligning himself at her entrance. He knew he couldn't go too fast; to do so would cause Kagome unnecessary pain. Repeating a silent mantra to himself that the woman below him had a fragile human body, Inuyasha slowly guided himself home, pushing in one inch at a time. Kagome's breathing hitched and her body tightened at the foreign intrusion, but she was able to get her muscles to relax when she looked up into his eyes and realized that he had his entire soul on display just for her. It didn't hurt near as badly as she had feared, a slight burning sting that was well within her tolerance levels. The sensation of becoming one with the man lying above her, the man she'd loved for so long...there was no feeling in the world more pleasurable.
As for Inuyasha, while he had masturbated before, nothing could have prepared him for the sensation of sinking slowly within her warm, inviting walls. There was simply no way to describe it. His most sensitive flesh was fully engulfed within a hot, wet blanket of pleasure, and the sensation traveled quickly throughout the rest of his body, wrapping the arms of love and acceptance around his very soul in an embrace he prayed would never release him. If someone were to have told him even that very morning that by that night he would have experienced true oneness with the woman he loved, he probably would have threatened their life for such obvious mockery.
"Kami..." he groaned, pulling out a little before sinking back in even further, trying to allow Kagome's body time to adjust. She gasped and hissed below him a few times, but every time his hips froze in panic that he had truly hurt her, she whispered reassuringly for him to keep going.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to them both, though it was an eternity they would each gladly relive over and over, Inuyasha was nestled fully within her.
"You can move, you know." Kagome murmured after a moment when Inuyasha remained still above her.
"I can tell ya right now this won't last too long once I start moving." he replied, a slight twinge of amusement in his tone. "I just wanna saver the feeling of being connected to you for a minute longer." he added, his voice and eyes smiling.
That he was so openly happy, it made Kagome's heart soar.
Finally, Inuyasha began retracting his hips, pulling out slowly before pushing himself back in once again. The feeling of being stretched so full was still causing Kagome some mild discomfort, but it was rapidly fading to be replaced with the most glorious sensation in the entire world. She and Inuyasha were one. He loved her, and he was making love to her. If someone would've told her that morning that by that night she was going to lose her virginity to the man she loved she would've thought they were crazy. It was only because Shippou had quoted to her nearly verbatim a conversation that he swore to have overheard that she had chosen to believe him at all. If someone had merely offered her their opinion on the matter, their own personal belief that Inuyasha had merely been concealing his feelings and in truth was in love with her, she would've laughed in their face. Now, as she felt him pull out of her before slowly pushing back in, joining with her in the most intimate way possible over and over again, Kagome could not help the tears of joy that leaked out the sides of her eyes. Fortunately, Inuyasha seemed to understand where her tears were coming from, and didn't admonish her for them.
Gradually picking up his tempo, it wasn't long before Inuyasha was sliding into Kagome at a fairly steady pace, though the way his body started to shake indicated he'd been right when he'd said he wouldn't be able to maintain that speed for long. Once they were both more experienced, once her body was fully accustomed to his intrusion and his nerve endings didn't scream in panic from the newness of the act, Inuyasha was sure that he and Kagome would have many long, hot sweaty nights of sneaking off into the forest to look forward to. Tonight, however, was more about symbolizing their union than sating their fantasies.
"F-fuck...K'gome," Inuyasha groaned, bringing his hips to a stop. "I'm already-"
"That's okay." she assured him. "You made me feel so wonderful already. It's your turn now."
"I love you..." he murmured, retracting his hips again before thrusting back within her a little faster than before.
He lasted three pumps, and then suddenly, Kagome found his weight and warmth were missing from on top of her, as he pulled himself fully out and away from her, gripping his dark and swollen erection in a tight fist as he bit his lip to muffle his grunt of completion, his white hot seed shooting onto the forest floor. Smiling in pride at her faith in Inuyasha, the miko knew that the next time she went back into her own time, she would need to invest in a supply of condoms, so that he wouldn't have to strain himself so much.
Provided I can find some that'll fit him... she mused.
Perhaps going on birth control pills would be the more logical path in this instance. She was sure her mother would agree to allow the prescription. In fact, knowing her mother like she did, the elder Higurashi woman would probably squeal in delight to learn that they had confessed their love to one another.
Mama will probably tease that she hopes all her grandbabies have his ears...
Of course, Kagome kind of secretly hoped that her and Inuyasha's future children would have his ears, as well. They were just so darn cute, after all. And speaking of his cute ears...
"Thank you, koibito..." Kagome murmured, reaching over to him and gently tweaking his ear, which caused him to smirk and deliberately flick his ear out of her grasp. The truth was he didn't mind her touching them, but it would take a little while to fully get used to the fact that she actually didn't detest such a blatant symbol of his mixed blood.
Not sure whether she was thanking him for keeping his word and pulling out on time, or if she was just thanking him generally speaking for the entire night, Inuyasha knew that either way, he was really the one who should be thanking her, even as he met her eyes with his own and answered cockily with, "Anytime."
He hadn't put the wall back up around his heart yet, so as the miko gazed up into his amber orbs, she could see within his eyes everything he wanted to say to her, everything he felt. Kagome knew in that moment that she would never be shut out from his soul ever again. Even when he needed to act tough, even when he kept up appearances for the benefit of everyone around him, whenever he looked her way, he would open the window, allowing her and her alone to glimpse the entirety of his being.
"Well, come on." he said after a couple of minutes had passed, knowing the moment couldn't last forever. Standing up and reaching for their clothing, he tossed Kagome her clothes before rewrapping his fundoshi around himself. "We should head back before someone notices we're gone, and you need to try and get some sleep otherwise you'll be useless on your feet tomorrow."
She didn't rise to the potential insult...she knew it was true, and at least he hadn't called her a 'weak human' directly. Climbing to her feet as well, Kagome slipped on her panties and bra, skirt and blouse. Sitting back down on Inuyasha's suikan for a moment as she put on her shoes and socks, the miko gazed lovingly at the hanyou standing before her, currently fastening his hakama over his kosode. Rising to her feet once more, she handed Inuyasha his suikan, which he shook out briefly before wrapping around himself, the properties of fire-rat fur preventing the garment from having been stained by the forest floor, or...other things. He smirked lopsidedly at the thought.
Seemingly reading his mind, Kagome smacked his arm playfully, earning a light chuckle from the hanyou. She was glad things had not become awkward between them in the aftermath of their passion, but before they could head back to camp there was one thing the future-born miko knew they needed to discuss, otherwise they risked facing a fairly awkward 'morning after' in the presence of their friends.
"Inuyasha, what's the protocol you want to follow with this? Are we keeping it a secret? Are we going to act openly? Personally, I am not ashamed to be with you, and I would like to tell Sango-chan and Miroku-sama, but I will defer to your wishes. I need to know now if you want or expect me to act like nothing's changed so that I don't ruin everything in the morning."
Caught off guard by the question, Inuyasha blinked at Kagome for a moment, honestly not having given the matter any thought. She was right, though, it was definitely something they needed to get clear right away, otherwise knowing them, they were bound to stumble into some kind of misunderstanding or another. He could easily see either one of them acting like nothing had happened, believing that it was what the other person wanted, and then that other person starting to feel doubts or insecurities regarding the sincerity of their partner's feelings.
"I think..." he started slowly then, "I think it's okay to let our friends know. Hell, Shippou 'n' Kirara will be able to smell it, anyway, so they'll know right away. If you want to tell Sango and Miroku first thing to just get it over with, that's fine with me. But...but when we head into strange villages searching for shards or rumors about Naraku, it would probably be best to avoid any kind of inappropriate behavior that might tip people off to our relationship. Most humans don't take kindly to human women who bed with youkai. You remember how those guys talked about and treated Shiori's mother..."
Kagome nodded at the memory.
"If we want people to trust us as a group and help us with anything they might know about the jewel or Naraku, they need to think that we're still what we really used to be, just a group of alleys all trying to hunt down the same bastard who'd wronged us all, and that's it."
Kagome could admit, as much as she hated to, that Inuyasha was right. Strangers really shouldn't know about them. Besides, it wasn't like it was any of their business, either way. But nobody's ever come out and accused her and Inuyasha of being together before, so Kagome was fairly certain she would never have to outright lie about their relationship to anybody. So long as she didn't do something foolish like hold his hand or lean in to kiss his cheek where others could see, then nobody should suspect anything to begin with. That way she wouldn't have to lie.
An unspoken truth is not a lie, after all...
Of course, if she had to lie, she would, she supposed. She'd lied about being with Inuyasha, back during the ordeal with the Thunder Brothers. If it were a matter of life or death, she'd say whatever she had to say to get them out of that particular situation. But that was amongst strangers, in foreign villages they were just passing through on their mission.
"What about at home, with Kaede-obaa-chan?" Kagome asked him then.
Inuyasha grinned crookedly at Kagome calling Kaede's village 'home'.
"I trust the baba, so we can let her know in private, and she should know her people well enough to know whether or not it'd be stupid to let the rest of the village find out. The villagers really respect you, and they seem to tolerate me, so I suppose it could go either way. Their respect for you might cause them to accept me more openly simply because you do and they trust your judgment, or...they could all turn on me for 'corrupting' you.
Adopting a teasingly sultry expression, Kagome purred, "Maybe you have corrupted me."
Growling playfully, Inuyasha reached out and yanked Kagome to him by the arm, causing her to "Eep!" in surprise. Burrowing his nose in her neck and inhaling deeply, he chuckled low in his chest when she shuddered at the sensation, then sticking out his tongue he licked her throat slowly, causing her to shiver.
"Not yet I haven't." he whispered in her ear, his words a promise of things to come.
"Oh kami..." she murmured to herself quietly, though not quietly enough.
Barking out a laugh, Inuyasha released his hold on Kagome's arm, and the miko Hmph'd away with as much dignity as she could muster.
"And here I was going to remove the kotodama as a show of trust since I didn't think you needed it any more, but now I think I might just need it to protect me from you after all."
Inuyasha only laughed harder at her words, both of them knowing that Kagome hadn't needed the rosary for its original purpose in quite some time. He honestly didn't mind the thing, most days, knowing that she didn't really fear that he could ever possibly attack her. He really had been one of the bad guys back in the beginning...hell, he'd even admitted as much! But he didn't want the jewel any more, and he would throw himself on his sword before ever willfully causing Kagome any harm. True, he used to cause her all sorts of emotional pain, but hopefully he would be able to make amends for all that now. As for the rosary...well...he was an inu-hanyou, and in his mind the collar kind of branded him as hers. He used to hate that, but the concept of belonging to her didn't bother him all that much any more, especially not now that she was just as equally his.
His somebody to love.
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