Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

In Saving You, I Saved Myself	By : CrimsonStained Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 9734 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: All names/characters belong to the great Rumiko Takahashi. The only thing I own are my ideas to manipulate her characters to my whims. I make no money from writing this fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
Chapter 9 - Boar Blood and Male Bonding
“InuYasha.”
The hanyou jumped, looking up to find Sesshoumaru staring at him. He flushed slightly and averted his eyes, “Wh-What?”
“We should consider finding a suitable space for the night,” Sesshoumaru cocked his head in the slightest, “Don’t you agree?”
“Y-Yeah sure,” InuYasha nodded, still refusing to meet his eyes. He immediately turned to Kagome, “Did you remember to bring ramen with you?”
“H-huh? Oh, of course I did,” Kagome smiled, “Replenished the stock!”
The Daiyoukai had to force his eyebrow from raising as he turned away and began striding forward, now on the hunt for a good clearing. Lately his brother was being far too compliant; he’d had no objections to anything Sesshoumaru had said. It had been a solid two and a half days since they’d parted from the springs that day, and that long since their last confrontation.
Miroku nudged Sango with his elbow, jerking his head towards the brothers in front of them, “Did you see that? Is it just me, or is InuYasha acting almost… demure towards Sesshoumaru-sama?”
The huntress gave a solemn nod, “I thought it might’ve just been me.”
“Are you kiddin’?” Shippou scurried forth, jumping up onto Miroku’s shoulder, “He’s flat out avoiding him! They’ve barely said two words to each other, and InuYasha generally just agrees, runs away and that’s it!”
The three of them stiffened when Sesshoumaru turned to glare at them from the corner of his eye, making his displeasure clear before he looked forward again.
“S-S-S-So, n-nice weather w-we’re having, huh?” Shippou stuttered out, crouching behind the monk’s shoulder.
“Yup, definitely. Definitely nice, nice doggy-WEATHER! I mean weather! Hah! Ha ha, silly me!” Miroku nervously corrected himself, hastily remaining stalk still for a moment before giving a soft sigh of relief when the inu youkai chose to ignore his blundering.
It does not make any sense, Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes, This one was under the assumption that we’d bridged a little more of the rift between us, so why is he drawing away yet again? The youkai absently wrapped his hand around the Tenseiga’s hilt; what the humans had said was true, InuYasha was avoiding him. Can he just not stand to look at me? Why? What is he thinking…
“Sesshoumaru-sama?”
Rin’s voice penetrated his musings, ripping him back to the physical world. It was only then that he realized he’d been lost in his mind in the first place.
“Rin think’s this would be a good spot to stay!” She smiled as she skipped in front of him and threw her hands forward in presentation, “Isn’t it perfect?!”
Directly off the left side of the path was soft mossy ground with tall thick-trunked oaks, flowing into a grassy sloping field littered with flowers. Sesshoumaru nodded to the giggling child, watching as she and the young fox kit took off into the grass.
“Don’t go too far!” Kagome called, sending a warm smile after them.
Sesshoumaru paused to analyze the miko’s motherly expression; even though she was a mortal she seemed to have adopted a fox youkai’s pup- who were often disregarded and left to die by other youkai because of the difficulty associated in rearing them. In the same breath she turned around and accepted Rin in the same manner, treating both equally. Were all humans so frivolously paternal? She will make for a good mother as well one day soon…
It was at this moment that his eyes focused past Kagome and met with InuYasha’s narrowed glare. He watched InuYasha come to himself and realize he was staring before blushing and rounding on his heel.
“Im gonna grab some firewood,” The hanyou spat, leaping off to the other side of the path where the trees thickened. Within seconds, he was dashing through the foliage, out of sight; but judging from the cracking branches he was moving further and further away.
Hn. What an… interesting reaction, Sesshoumaru contemplated, watching his brother’s gaudy red outfit bounce away. Interesting or not, he was truly curious to know what had sparked the abrupt change in his innately stubborn brother.
Miroku observed the scene before him in silence, dark indigo eyes flickering between his friends and the demon lord. Just what exactly was going on between them?
“What’s gotten into him?” Kagome frowned as she wondered aloud, concern evident in her eyes.
The Daiyoukai flicked his glance towards her before dismissing them all, “Jaken.”
“Y-Yes, M’Lord?”
“You will watch Rin.”
“Right! Of course, you can count on me!” The kappa bowed repeatedly as Sesshoumaru looked out towards the playing children before taking off into the air the opposite way.
Everyone was silent for a second, watching as the inu youkai calmly but steadfastly departed.
“Must be nice to be able to fly,” Kagome was the first to break the silence, turning inquisitive azure eyes onto the green imp, “Is he always like that? Totally serious and quiet; always looks like he’s on a super important mission no matter where he goes?”
“Oh yes, that is indeed his general expression,” The reply was immediate.
“Does he ever smile?” She had to ask, she just couldn’t picture it. Then again, sometimes the ones who smiled the least had the most beautiful ones. She quirked a brow as she registered the look of unmitigated horror on the small youkai.
“Only when someone is going to die a very painful, horrible death,” Jaken responded gravely, glancing back to the white, red and black figure disappearing over the trees.
“Oh…”
“Yes.”
“…. Well then,” Kagome said with a shaky laugh, perhaps her current perception of Sesshoumaru wasn’t so far from the truth after all, “I hope to never see it angled at me.”
“That is my hope, every day of my life,” Jaken sighed heavily.
“Jaken-sama, if you don’t mind me inquiring… why do you stay with Sesshoumaru-sama?” Sango propped Hiraikotsu against an old tree, Kirara jumping from her arms.
The small imp prepared to snap at the human before realizing she was not speaking maliciously, he paused and considered it thoroughly, “Sesshoumaru-sama is not your typical youkai…”
“That’s putting it mildly,” Miroku scoffed gently with a small smirk.
“Though I, for one, owe him a lot,” Jaken turned to look at the three mortals whose unwavering attention was on him, “He is hard to understand as far as youkai go, but one never misunderstands his intentions. He is blunt – almost to a fault; but well, my lord is too perfect for faults.”
“That is true… I always wonder what he’s thinking about in silence, while he’s very upfront with his words,” Kagome mulled, ignoring the kappa’s idolization, “He certainly won’t pretend to like you if he doesn’t, that’s for certain.”
“My lord shows me just how important his retainer is by leaving his precious ward’s protection in my hands!”
“Perhaps he’s in denial that he’s a glorified babysitter?” Sango remarked lowly as Miroku and Kagome nodded in agreement.
“I HEARD THAT!!”
“What do you want?” InuYasha wrinkled his nose slightly as his sibling’s scent floated to him; crisp and ozonic, mixed with the scent of boar and blood. Not that he hadn’t felt the tickle of his youki infringing on his mind before he’d been close enough to scent.
He heard the thud of flesh hitting the ground and turned, his arms tightening around the kindling he’d gathered. The freshly killed board sat on the ground between the two, still sluggishly bleeding. Morbidly, his stomach chose that exact moment to growl.
“I wish for you to eat. Properly,” Sesshoumaru responded, sharp golden eyes locking onto his.
Properly? InuYasha questioned silently before realizing what he had meant, Raw. “I don’t need you to hunt for me, I’m perfectly capable of doin’ it myself. You know, like the last two hundred years you’ve been absent from my life.”
“Two-hundred and fifty-four; though I guess approximately fifty of them do not count for you,” The inu responded promptly.
InuYasha scowled, but internally was surprised the youkai who’d despised him all of his life had remembered such an intimate detail, “Only makin’ yourself sound worse.”
“I am merely stating fact so that you’ll know I’m well aware of the amount of time I’ve been… absent,” Sesshoumaru’s lips thinned, “Also that I’m attempting to absolve myself in part by providing now; as I stated previously.”
“This one does not understand… You purposely avoid allowing yourself proper nutrition so that your… companions will not be put off? Eat, InuYasha. I will assure you are properly fed from here on.”
InuYasha flushed, “Well, don’t.”
The inu youkai gave him a flat stare, “It is an alpha’s job to ensure the safety of his pack and kin. If you refuse to eat in the presence of your pack, then you will eat it here – away from the eyes of your companions.”
Bristling at the hint of a command yet feeling oddly… happy at the same time, InuYasha challenged, “And if I refuse?”
“Then I will force the issue,” the demon was unhesitant in his response.
The two faced off for a moment, a soft breeze weaving between them as they stared the other down. Suddenly, InuYasha conceded and dropped into a cross-legged sitting position and tossing the wood aside, “Keh, don’t get me wrong. I’m just hungry right now and fighting you isn’t worth the effort.”
“InuYasha…” Sesshoumaru turned his head to meet his half-brother’s eyes, and paused wondering what the most delicate way of stating his question would be, “Is there… anything, any matter you wish to… consult with another of?”
Wider than normal aureate eyes seeked Sesshoumaru’s, his hand frozen mid-way to his mouth with a hunk of meat, “Uh… What?”
“This Sesshoumaru asked if there—”
“I heard ya the first time!” The hanyou barked, clenching a fist and looking away. There was plenty to talk about, plenty of questions he wished to ask, an exorbitant amount in fact, just… Not to him. There was no way in hell. He couldn’t ask those questions to Sesshoumaru without losing more than a little of his manly pride, “I was just blindsided is all, I didn’t expect concern from you.”
Sesshoumaru was concerned, InuYasha knew it – he didn’t know how he knew it, he just knew he was. Just like he knew that his flippant comment had caused a twang of… sadness? Why? InuYasha cocked his head and examined the demon’s stoic face, how did he know it had hurt him? Why? Why, why, why? Was he imagining things now? Great! Add it to the list!
A soft breeze broke the awkwardness as Sesshoumaru turned away and let out an almost inaudible sigh before pushing to his feet, “I will depart then.”
InuYasha stared at the demon’s back, feeling a sense of guilt and not knowing why – no, that wasn’t true. He knew why, Sesshoumaru had only been trying to help again and once more he’d shot him down before giving him a chance, “N-no wait, that’s not what I… Nnngh… I’m… Sorry.”
Sesshoumaru paused in his step, his mind racing to think back on why the hanyou was apologizing.
“Where’re you goin’?” The hanyou avoided glancing up as he made an incision in the meat.
Sesshoumaru looked over his shoulder, “You do not seem keen on my company; so I will wash then return to the others.”
“But,” InuYasha studied his brother’s kill beneath his claws, feeling the heat fading from his cheeks, “Then… You’re really not gonna eat?”
“I do not require sustenance at this time, I brought it for you.”
“Dammit, why do you-” InuYasha bit his tongue; he always did this, every time. That creeping feeling of guilt began to grapple his heart, the one that told him he was in the wrong. Again. All of it felt so… off with Sesshoumaru; his one staple in the world, his one static circumstance, was becoming unstable. It scared him. Yet that was not a reason to take it out on him.
InuYasha clenched his free hand as he sighed softly, it was only right to share after all, “Will you?”
One slender brow raised slightly, that question seemed loaded with possibilities; will he? Will he what? Leave? Surely he didn’t mean… “Will I what, InuYasha?”
“I-If I asked… Will you stay? And eat?”
Sesshoumaru stood dumbfounded, watching the hanyou’s ears sink and his colour skyrocket the longer he remained silent. Yet, how was he supposed to answer? Did he really want him there or was he being polite – as unlikely as that was - because it had been his kill?
Why isn’t he answering… InuYasha flicked nervous eyes up to the youkai and away, outwardly Sesshoumaru was still examining him with that blank expression. He’s just staring… The half demon felt his skin burning in embarrassment, the longer he waited the more nervous and coiled he became inside. Snapping, he fisted the strip of meat he’d be cutting and hauled back, throwing it at the inu youkai, “JUST EAT, DAMMIT!!”
This was a scenario that could have gone many ways; personally InuYasha hadn’t known what he was expecting. Maybe for Sesshoumaru to dodge it, or vaporize it with his poison, perhaps even snag it out of thin air like the speedy ninja that he was.
What actually happened was so far out there in InuYasha’s mind that everything abruptly ground to a halt when the slab of bloody meat smacked against the inu youkai’s cheek bone, droplets of blood splattering across his face and hair. It made for a further macabre display as the flesh slid down, smearing crimson along his face to his chin where is dropped off and he instinctually caught it in his hand with a wet splat.
A few uncomprehending seconds passed before InuYasha made a strangled noise in his throat, earning him an icy glare, “Do not, InuYasha.”
His threat only seemed to egg the hanyou on as InuYasha burst into uncontrollable laughter.
“InuYasha,” Sesshoumaru warned again watching as tears came to the half-demon’s eyes who was currently pounding a bloody fist into the ground while his other arm snaked tightly across his stomach. The hanyou was laughing so hard he was completely unable to reciprocate any intelligible form of conversation.
It was in this moment; as the air cooled the blood on his face and a squishy handful of haphazardly torn meat lay in his hand, that Sesshoumaru belatedly realized he’d never seen InuYasha laugh so freely.
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you, InuYasha,” Sesshoumaru spoke lowly as he advanced, kneeling down and clenching his hand around the flesh previously thrown at him, “Not to play with your food?”
The second his hanyou half-brother looked up with mirthful watery eyes, pearly white fangs peeking from behind stretched lips, Sesshoumaru shoved the meat against his mouth. Ignoring the rivulets of crimson streaking down his fingers and wrist, he demanded, “Eat it.”
“BLURGHH!!” InuYasha coughed, struggling to breath around the hunk obstructing his airway with his brother’s hand over his mouth.
“Che!” Sesshoumaru smirked dangerously as he drew his hand away, blood welling where InuYasha had pierced his fingers with sharp teeth. The grin that passed the Daiyoukai’s lips frankly made the hanyou a little nervous, it reminded him of a predator, and he was the prey. Slowly – ooh so slowly – Sesshoumaru laved the blood off of his finger with his tongue. Well, if he’d have said that hadn’t made him a little hot and bothered, InuYasha would’ve been lying.
Ignoring the heat in his face, the hanyou forcefully wiped the back of his hand across his lips as he coughed violently, “You fucking bastard! That was danger- Mmph!!”
This was not the first kiss they had shared, far from it in fact, and yet all the same it constricted his throat to silence his protests as if it was. With wide eyes, InuYasha drew in a surprised gasp through his nose, and that was it. Sesshoumaru took over every tangible and intangible focus he had – Being so close the youkai was all he could see, all his could smell, all he could taste, all he could think of.
Why? At this point, he wasn’t even certain what he was questioning; why was he doing this? Why did this keep happening? No, why did he let it keep happening? Perhaps his confusion lie in the fact that he was asking the wrong questions? Then what were the right ones?
Words like ‘why’ and ‘who’ and ‘what’ disappeared from his mind when the inu youkai leaned in, slipping his tongue past the barrier of InuYasha’s lips, flooding his senses further with the taste of youki-charged blood.
Unconsciously, with the taste of his brother’s life-essence on his tongue, the half-demon fisted his hands in the soft silk shoulders of Sesshoumaru’s haori and drew him the slightly bit closer with tightly clenched eyes.
InuYasha swallowed hard, drawing his ears back as the Daiyoukai pulled away; it didn’t take a psychic to see the satisfaction on his face. InuYasha was further hard-pressed to ignore the heated stare angled his way, causing him to nervously clear his throat and flicker his gaze back and forth from the demon as he finished flatly, “Ous… Dangerous.”
“Indeed,” His brother answered, golden eyes gleaming as the tip of his pink tongue snaked out to lick his lips, savouring the hanyou’s unique taste. InuYasha was beginning to hate that word.
“Not what I was talking about,” InuYasha mumbled while his face beaconed. He’d always thought his brother was an icy bastard, now he was beginning to realize just how depraved he actually was.
Sesshoumaru smirked in the slightest of ways and repeated, “Indeed.”
The flushed hanyou shot him a flat look before pushing the youkai away and scooching back towards the boar, So infuriating!! “Know what? Fuck you, offer has expired! I’m not sharin’ no more.”
He flattened his ears as he heard his sibling chuckle deeply, and admittedly struggled not to fidget. Perhaps it was because it was such a feat, but for some reason, making Sesshoumaru laugh in any way, shape, or form, made him feel… happy.
“And what if,” Sesshoumaru drawled, pinning the inu hanyou with a decidedly playful gaze, “I decided to part-take regardless of your wishes?”
“SESSHOUMARU-SAMA!!” Jaken’s shrill voice consternated the others as he jumped to his feet and ran passed the three mortals.
“InuYasha! Are you okay?! What the hell happened?!” Kagome was on her feet and fussing seconds after.
“Sesshoumaru has sharing issues,” InuYasha growled, tossing forward a bunch of blood smeared logs for the fire to the ground, ignoring the dripping residue from his soiled clothing.
“This Sesshoumaru believes the opposite to be true,” The Daiyoukai disagreed, pitching forth his own armful of wood. He tried hard to ignore the clinging strands of crimson streaked hair that slicked against his skin and clothing, itching and tickling his neck, “You were the one unwilling to share.”
“Houshi-sama,” Sango spoke in quiet tones to get the monk’s attention, “I don’t know what to be more concerned about… that fact that they are petty arguing while both dripping in blood, or that Sesshoumaru-sama was doing manual labour…”
“At this moment in time? The blood. Definitely the blood,” Miroku replied.
“You said you weren’t hungry!” InuYasha rounded on Sesshoumaru.
The older inu glanced from the corner of his eye, “You insisted.”
“You almost killed me!”
“There was no threat to your life.”
InuYasha threw his hands up into the air, “WHAT?! Says you! I could’ve died!!”
“Wait! Wait! So, you guys aren’t hurt? Neither of you?” Kagome broke in, grabbing InuYasha’s hand and tugging it forward, pulling the sleeve of his haori up to check.
When she reached forward to check his neck, Sesshoumaru narrowed his stare at her. Feeling a bit more satisfied as she hesitantly looked away and froze, uncertain in her movements.
“What? No!” Unaware of the entire situation, InuYasha shrugged her off as always, “I’m fine, he’s fine, the boar? Not so much.”
“Boar?” Kagome shook out of her haze, looking at his face and making a sudden realization; her tone came out reed thin, “Have you… Did you… eat already? Aren’t you eating with us?”
InuYasha paused, ears sinking back guiltily, “I am, yeah. I’m gonna eat that too!”
“It’s fine, don’t force yourself if you’re full,” Kagome spoke in a passive aggressive tone, feeling her expression pinch with hurt. The thought of the one she loved consuming… raw meat churned her stomach. But she wanted to love everything about her hanyou, so why couldn’t he just eat normally?
InuYasha felt his shoulders turn in as his white ears sank just a little lower; suddenly he felt more sticky, dirty and uncomfortable than he did two minutes ago, “Kagome… That’s not… I mean… I’m going to go bathe.”
Sango looked at Miroku and elbowed him in the side.
“Ngh!...” A pained glance towards her and he knew what she meant, “Ah! Let me accompany you, InuYasha! I was just considering taking a bath myself.”
Sesshoumaru watched the Houshi follow after his dejected brother and felt nothing but scorn for her interruptions. You’re the reason… He felt anger as he flicked his gaze back to the young girl, angry that this childish little girl thought she could dictate another being’s diet to her whims purely because she disliked it.
He felt as if another epiphany had hit him, yes for a hanyou InuYasha was strong, but he’d never been as strong as Sesshoumaru thought he were capable of as a son of the Great Inu no Taisho. It all made sense, InuYasha hadn’t been eating naturally at all. Every day, Sesshoumaru felt that he understood his brother a little bit more, but became farther and farther from knowing who he truly was.
Ignoring the kappa chattering incessantly by his side, the inu youkai glanced at the hanyou and monk slowly making their way down the path towards water; it looked as if the monk was cheering him up slightly. Acceptable. Sesshoumaru waited for them to be out of hearing range before he glanced over to the girl, “Miko.”
“Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama?” Kagome’s reply was noticeably lack-luster in comparison to normal.
“What happens to you when you received insufficient nourishment?” His gaze locked and held hers as he walked closer to her.
“What?” Azure eyes flicked to his, question written across her face. Sesshoumaru asking her a question was rare enough, but one so out of the blue had thrown her for a loop.
“If you were unable to meet your base dietary needs, what would happen to you?” His voice was low, his words slow and calculating, rephrasing the words as if it were her intelligence he was questioning.
“Um, well, I guess… weaken, maybe get sick, and eventually die,” She answered truthfully, wondering if that was the answer he was actually after. There was something about him, the way he held himself, perhaps the look in Sesshoumaru’s eyes, or maybe it was the way his words spilled over his lips; whatever is was, something innate told her to break eye contact and look away. That something gave her the feeling of wanting to press herself into a tight corner until he overlooked her
“Indeed,” He remained silent for an extended amount of time, purely for the purpose of making her feel uncomfortable, “Perhaps it would be best to remember that the next time you decide to berate him for eating what he needs. He is not human… As you are.”
Kagome’s gaze snapped up at that last part, just a second too late to see the expression on Sesshoumaru’s face as he turned and retreated a few steps towards his retainer.
“Jaken.”
“You can count on me, M’Lord!” Came the quick response to an unspoken question, and with that Sesshoumaru took flight.
Was that a threat? An insult? How was she supposed to take that last comment? A reminder? A warning? Her heart clenched painfully.
“Kagome?”
Jumping, the miko returned to herself and glanced over at her concerned friend, “Oh? I’m fine, don’t worry Sango.”
“What… What did he say?” The huntress cocked her head, brown eyes tracing to the sky and back again.
“What? Oh, um, nothing. It’s nothing.”
Miroku glanced over his shoulder and caught Sesshoumaru stepping towards the girls, after a short exchange he took to the air leaving behind an upset-looking Kagome. What happened there, I wonder… Miroku pondered, looking up at Sesshoumaru passed overhead, heading slightly to the West, Is he not going to join us?
“He’s goin’ somewhere else, don’t worry,” InuYasha’s voice caused the Houshi to jump, he turned to find InuYasha staring up at his brother, a small smirk spread across his lips, “It’s ‘cause he’s a c.o.c.”
“Now InuYasha, even if that’s how you feel about Sesshoumaru-sama –”
“No! No! Not a cock, a c-o-c; a creature of comfort! Stupid Monk!” InuYasha laughed aloud at the look on Miroku’s face.
“… You can’t just do that.”
“Do what?” The hanyou stretched his arms up and linked his hands behind his head leisurely,
Miroku raised his palm up in emphasis, “Make stuff up, throw it into everyday conversation and expect people to read your mind! Of course I’m going to misunderstand! …But I bet he has a nice one though,” Miroku added with a grin, cupping his chin and nodding.
“A nice what? Co—DAMMIT MONK!!” InuYasha flushed deep red, angry aureate eyes pinning his laughing friend, “Wait-what?! You like women! I’m sure of it!”
“Why InuYasha, I am a lover of all things beautiful!” Miroku flicked his bangs from his face, striking a rather overly dramatic poise.
“… You’re goddamn pervert, is what you are. I think it’s actually ‘cause he’s secretly self-conscious.”
“Self-conscious? About what? His cock?”
“Stop bringing up his dick, dammit!!” InuYasha turned and simultaneously clocked him sharply on the top of his skull.
Miroku snickered into a fist while the hanyou burned red, InuYasha truly was just too easy to tease. No one else gave such a satisfying reaction as he did, he could smell his virginity a mile away “Ahh, sorry. He he, truly though, what would someone of Sesshoumaru-sama’s calibur had to be conscious about?”
“The fact that everyone has seen him in multiple states of undress, sickness, and now also covered in blood that wasn’t a foes? All negative points to Mr. High-And-Mighty-Stick-Up-His-Ass,” InuYasha responded with a small bark of a laugh, “But you know what? I think it’s really ‘cause the poor bastard has no clue how to make small talk!”
“…Sweet Buddha, it would make so much sense!!” Miroku held both hands palms skyward before him, “Just think about it!”
“Right!?” InuYasha prompted with building excitement.
The two chuckled a moment longer before Miroku patted the hanyou’s shoulder – an action he instantly regretted as a cold sticky coating of slime clung to his hand. Fighting not to make a face, he attempted to console InuYasha a bit, “Don’t worry about what Kagome said. I think she’ll better understand if you explain it to her in detail.”
“Then,” InuYasha turned wide golden eyes onto his, “You mean, you understand?”
It took a moment for the houshi to comprehend what he meant, “Of course I do… You’re a half-demon, InuYasha.”
Just like that. As if ‘You’re a half-demon’ explained everything. And really, in a way he guessed it kind of did. But why would Miroku understand, and not Kagome? “Then, you’re not… disgusted by it?”
The monk just shrugged his shoulders high, “Why should I judge you for eating raw meat when I eat raw fish? Though if I’m being honest, it would probably turn my stomach a bit to have to kiss you afterward too.”
“Feelings mutual- regardless of what you eat,” InuYasha muttered, feeling turned off by the very thought of kissing Miroku in the first place. So why did it feel so weird with Sesshoumaru?
The two men arrived at the river, each looking into its depths, standing at the edge. Miroku heaved a sigh and met InuYasha’s eyes in their reflection; he looked much the same. Unenthused. “I mean, it’s still only the beginning of fall, it shouldn’t be too cold yet, right?”
“Keh, it’ll be fine,” InuYasha scoffed, hastily tugging at the ties of his haori, all the while his scowling face belayed his true thoughts. Perhaps Sesshoumaru had the right idea…
Miroku looked unconvinced but ultimately looked away, focusing on his own clothing before InuYasha reminded him to.
It was with grinding molars and clenched fists that the two finally forced themselves in. Immediately pink began swirling from the hanyou, washing the blood from his hair and flesh.
“Okay, I have to know…” Miroku began, “You and Sesshoumaru-sama left separately, seemingly at odds… Then both returned together covered in blood.”
Wait… InuYasha paused for a second, a thought suddenly striking him, “Why did Sesshoumaru leave in the first place?”
“Hm? He didn’t say,” Miroku turned veiled eyes toward InuYasha, wondering how best he could get the information he wanted out of the hanyou, “He looked curious after you left, and flew off a second afterward. What’s going on? What happened while you two were gone?”
InuYasha froze, blushing a split second before he managed to turn his back. He glared at his reflection in the water, searching his own golden eyes as he thought; what was going on between them? Wasn’t that just the answer InuYasha was already searching for himself?
From across the water, the houshi watched the expressions racing across his friends face; from blushing, to scowling, to thoughtful, back to scowling again. Apparently he was taking this question very seriously; InuYasha was a man of few words when it came to the topic of himself, so Miroku remained silent and allowed him to gather his thoughts for a proper answer.
“I…” InuYasha paused again before heaving a sigh, staring down at the tired mirror looking back at him, “I’m not sure… When I decided to help, it was just ‘the right thing’, it was what I just needed to do, for me. After I left here, I truly hadn’t thought about what it would be like to travel together, after the rest of the conversation was gone…”
Miroku blinked, closely monitoring the inu’s face as he spoke, curious and intrigued in what he was going to say next. Clearly some significant moments had happened, life-changing ones perhaps. He inched forward, indigo eyes alight with interest.
“I just… I don’t know what happened…” InuYasha sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, worrying it for a moment before adding, “He suddenly… Got all brotherly on me.”
Miroku, who’d be on the straight edge of his seat, nearly sank beneath the water when the hanyou finally finished.
“What? What’s that look for?” InuYasha threw a half-hearted glare as Miroku raised a brow and stared at him blankly.
“Are you sure that’s it?” The playful quality of Miroku’s tone had disappeared, his voice low and serious.
“Huh? ‘Course that’s it!” InuYasha hesitated, his friend’s reaction throwing him off before suddenly blushing a dark red, “What the hell were you hoping for?”
And suddenly all was normal again when let out an exaggerated sigh Miroku propped a hand under his jaw sulking, avoiding the hanyou’s eyes while he murmured, “Just thought you were going in a totally opposite direction is all, never mind. Anyway!! Keep going, keep going! Brotherly, got it… how so?”
Frowning deeper and blushing a little darker, the hanyou turned away again; there was No Way in Hell he was gonna say the full truth, “How? I don’t know, telling me I remind him o-of father, g-getting me food… And… G… Grooming me…”
“Sounds like true love,” The houshi interrupted flatly.
“WHAT?!” InuYasha spun so unexpected that he forgot he was in water and lost his footing, disappearing beneath the surface. He rose sputtering and pissed off to a laughing Miroku.
“I was just joking!!” The monk pressed a hand over his lips, trying to force himself to stop. Truly, teasing InuYasha would never get old. He shrugged off the heated glare sent his way and spoke seriously, hoping it would placate the hanyou, “What I meant to say is perhaps Sesshoumaru has come to… understand and accept you a little more.”
“Keh!” InuYasha dismissed him and ducked beneath the surface (on purpose this time) and scrubbed his hands back and forth in the silky strands of his hair. He opened blurry golden eyes, dragging a lock forward in front of his face. The filaments splayed, reminding him of exactly who worked so hard to tame that mane, my hair... is still so soft …
Breaching, the hanyou pushed the water-sluicing tresses back from his thought-pinched face; accept me, huh? I guess it’s kinda like that… But also not. Why did he kiss me? I guess that’s kinda a stupid question because it isn’t the first… But this time we weren’t doing… anything… What is this? What are we doing? Why?
“What’s wrong, InuYasha?”
The inu blinked back to himself, staring down into his own troubled eyes, and scowled deeper. He let his arms sink in the cold water, numb from the prolonged exposure, and sighed as softly as he replied, “I just… Don’t know. I don’t even know what I don’t know…”
Stunned for but a moment, Miroku recovered swiftly and smiled, turning up to the slowly darkening sky, “But that isn’t that just what life is? Not knowing?”
Even without InuYasha’s verbal response, Miroku could feel those gilt-hued eyes piercing him; he had the hanyou’s undivided attention, “What keeps you alive, InuYasha?”
“Hm? My heart, I guess… Or my blood? Youki? Che! I dunno, what do you want me to say? What’re you getting’ at, Monk?”
“The answer is all of the above I guess, let me rephrase the question slightly, why do you stay alive? Excuse my bluntness when I say, why do you not choose to kill yourself and end it all?” Miroku responded in the same calm voice.
“… I guess ‘cause once you’re dead, you’re dead. And that’s that.”
“So in other words, you want to know what tomorrow brings; you want to live because you’re curious to know what happens next,” The monk slid his gaze to his friend, “The answer to both questions is ‘A million little things’. A million little things work together to animate you, and another million little things are what keep you alive, keep you questioning what’s next.
“Life is the daily adventures you go on in search of those answers, in search of what you don’t know. Living is all the moments in which you learn; the memories and emotions you experience. Being happy, or sad; interacting with others, and taking chances - hurting and being hurt by them. Each and every second you experience, you learn; and by learning, you’re living.”
InuYasha turned away from the monk, contemplating the words his friend spoke while looking at the ripples in the stream, memories floating behind unseeing eyes. Fights, bloodshed, tears, and laughter, all of the little compounding reasons to live until the next day. Spiting others was definitely a big one in his earlier days.
“I guess, over-all my point is that no one would read the book if they knew everything that would happen in the end, ne? Life is about the journey.”
After a moment of silence InuYasha suddenly stood and gave himself a curt nod, seemingly having made a decision, “C’mon Monk, let’s go. I’m gettin’ all prune-y.”
Sesshoumaru slipped silently back into the camp territory, pausing as he caught scent of InuYasha and the human miko separated from the others. He didn’t want to seem as if he were spying, but he was not so inclined to double back merely for the sake of avoiding them, so he continued on; getting closer and closer.
“I just… I’m so sorry… I didn’t even realize…” The miko’s tone was nasally and watered down, clearly he’d just missed the water works.
“Kags, it’s okay, trust me! I already said I forgive you, dammit!” InuYasha’s voice soon followed, low and a little desperate. Sesshoumaru knew her tears were the cause of his anxiety.
“I know! That makes it even worse! You’re being too understanding!” Kami, her wailing was like pin prinks in his ear drum.
“What the hell?! How can someone be too understanding?! Dammit woman! You apologized, I forgave you! It ain’t that hard!!”
Sesshoumaru paused, this apology (or was it a fight?) seemed to be getting more and more ridiculous.
“But you didn’t even get mad!!”
“Do you want me to get mad?!”
“No! Yes! I don’t know!!”
“Well if you don’t know, how the fuck do you expect me to know?!”
“You just should!”
“The fuck does that even Mean?!?!”
“SIT!”
A vein twitched beneath Sesshoumaru’s eye as his half-brother crashed into the ground. He narrowed his eyes, steadfastly keeping his head straight as he moved forward. Oddly enough, it turned out to be harder than he thought once he caught vibrant red and white in the corner of his vision.
“Ah! Welcome back, Sesshoumaru-sama!”
The Daiyoukai stopped, his gaze slid to the young girl, her nose and eyes were pink but there she was with that insufferable smile. InuYasha blushed from the ground, shooting up to his feet a half second later when the spell wore off; hastily brushing the dust from himself.
“Hn.” Sesshoumaru turned away, at least the little mortal felt remorseful. Though clearly not enough to restrain herself from plowing InuYasha’s face into the ground.
The two watched him go in silence, looking to each other and back again as the youkai turned away. Once Sesshoumaru had moved on, Kagome turned back towards InuYasha, eyebrows raised, and stated, “I don’t think he likes me.”
“No shit,” The hanyou shrugged, turning towards her and propping a hand on his hip, “You’d be pretty hard pressed to find someone he does like.”
Kagome grinned mischievously, “He likes you, at least if that kiss was anything to go by.”
“I told you he was febrile, dammit!” InuYasha hissed, his cheeks burning, “Regardless, it still took him two hundred and fifty-four years to get to this point, so I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”
“Well, what can you do… you can’t win them all,” Kagome conceded as she raised her hands up with a sigh and shook her head.
And just like that, everything was back to normal. Or at least as much as it could be given the circumstances.
Night had long since fallen leaving all but the two inu asleep, one of which was currently MIA. Sesshoumaru had disappeared shortly after he had returned, and hadn’t been seen since. More curious than concerned, InuYasha pushed himself to his feet, idly tossing another log on the crackling fire. He glanced to Kagome, Rin and Shippou, who were currently all snuggled together in Kagome’s sleeping bag; the three sound asleep.
Kirara lifted her head as he moved towards the path, bright red eyes gleaming. Sango, who shifted with her movement, curled herself tighter to the large feline youkai’s body with a soft groan.
“Keep an eye, ‘kay Kirara? I’m gonna go sweep the grounds again,” InuYasha commented, a blink and her head lowering back down was his acknowledgement. With one last quick glance to see the houshi was also asleep and the hanyou took off at a run, padding his way softly through the night.
Allowing his feet to be his guild, InuYasha lifted his nose to the night, sifting through the world his eyes alone couldn’t see. Slowing to a walk, he came to a fork and the hanyou paused, suddenly becoming acutely self-aware.
I feel like I have to go this way… InuYasha quirked a brow and frowned, looking to a natural path leading off into the woods. Gnarls roots snaked back and forth along the forest floor, buckling and curling, making the route treacherous at night… for a human.
Off he went, delving into slightly thicker foliage, he passed a puddle of rancid smelling dark goo; on a (not so much) closer inspection, it turned out to be some poor sucker that had fallen victim to Sesshoumaru’s claws a few hours earlier. Crinkling his nose, InuYasha moved on, He’s this way.
It was such a sure feeling; he didn’t know how he knew, he just did. Being as such, it wasn’t a surprise when he came into range of his brother’s youki. The closer he got, the more anxious he seemed to feel to just get there.
As he hit the final crest of a hill, InuYasha stopped, the tugging instantly disappeared when he locked eyes with Sesshoumaru. So many questions flooded his mind that his tongue instantly felt thick and heavy in his mouth; but something became glaringly clear.
“You don’t hate me anymore,” That wasn’t right, that wasn’t what he’d meant to say! InuYasha felt his cheeks heat a bit and lowered his chin in response, “Wait, no… I mean, right?”
Sesshoumaru’s golden eyes tracked his, pinching just slightly in confusion. There were so many emotions roiling off of his sibling that he was taken aback, “You are correct. I was under the impression that I had already expressed that to you.”
“You did – kinda, I guess,” InuYasha faltered, “I guess… I just didn’t believe you before is all.”
When Sesshoumaru turned his eyes back to the stars, the hanyou panicked a little bit, “Well, I mean, not that I didn’t believe you, it was more that I… Didn’t… Trust? No, I mean, listen? Not that… Hmm… Yeah, yeah I just didn’t believe you.”
“This Sesshoumaru does not blame you,” The youkai responded, ending his brother’s awkward monologue. InuYasha paused, taking the last few steps closer to his kin before dropping to his bottom, criss-crossing his legs.
The two sat in something of a companionable silence for a moment, each swamped in their own thoughts as the sounds of the night forest surrounded them. InuYasha was the first to speak, “I just… I just have one question I wanna ask…”
The Daiyoukai gave no indication that he’d heard other than stilling slightly – as if the demon wasn’t part statue already.
“Why do--did you hate me?”
The world seemed to pause and hold its breath with the hanyou, personally InuYasha was nervous to find out, it was a question he’d never thought he’d have answered, he’d accepted it for what it was and that was that. Until now. Suddenly all sorts of buried feelings were surfacing and the hanyou couldn’t have said exactly how he felt in that moment.
“I mean, yeah, I get the whole stain on the family, half-demon, different mother bullshit, but if anything you should hate the old man; not like I asked to be born – especially not like this,” The last segment had been added on as an afterthought, a slip of the tongue.
Sesshoumaru seemed to take ages answering, InuYasha knew it was because he was carefully analyzing and weighing his words. Finally the demon inhaled deeply, a gentle breeze blew between the two adding to the anticipation.
“Because…you had everything,” Sesshoumaru’s clear gold gaze gleamed in the dark as his brow furrowed. Past memories flickered behind unseeing eyes as the demon continued, “You had everything, and you would never realize it. Perhaps jealously played a significant role, but I felt it my duty, I felt I had to make you understand... I had to make you hurt so you could realize exactly how much you had…”

A/N: OH MY GOD! SURPRISE! I LIVE ON!
I'm not even going to get started on my excuses and life issues for this Chapter being what-six months late? Haha.. Ha... erm, ahem!
Alas, here we are with the 9th installment. I focused a bit more on the brother's relationship and their personal developement vs. the overall plot development this time.
Drop me a line, let me know what you think! It's getting increasingly difficult to keep that characters IN character - what, with InuYasha being in a constant state of stress/anxiety/question, and Sesshoumaru opening up but remaining pragmatic in most sitations... But I'm doing what a can!
I hope you enjoyed, and look forward to next time!!
- 9
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In Saving You, I Saved Myself