Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Show Me How It Ends
By : DeniPie
Category: InuYasha > General
Views: 4931 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Hey! I got a new laptop! Woop woop! Its where I�m writing this fic from at the moment, cool, eh?
This sort of keyboard is kinda weird to get used to but I�m tryin�. I just
wanna get used to this as fast as I can so I can use it more for this sort of
thing. Ok another apology at the longitivity of the time it took 2 get this
chap out but I�ve been working on another fic. I have finally seen the end of
big o and found it as gay as gay can b, and I had always thought it was an
awesome show. But the ending, omg. U kno those ppl
that try 2 b obnoxious and try 2 make u think they�re like beyond intelligent
by tryin 2 confuse the hell outta u, but u get the feeling they have no idea
what they�re saying either? That was kinda what I felt about the ending 2 that
show. It was good overall, its just the end that made
absolutely no sense, but if someone can manage to explain it 2 me I�d really
appreciate it. Oh yeah, about the other fic that�ll b coming up. It�s a big o
fic called �Mechanical Men� I�m pretty happy w what I have of it so far. I was
always curious about the whole Beck and Dorothy thing. I mean he knew her b4
Roger did and it was always kinda weird between the 2. I kno its non cannon and
what not but there isn�t really any pairing in big o and for some reason angel
just pissed me off beyond all reason. I hate it when they put out a sexy
dangerous character thinking it�ll be insanely popular but ends up just being
annoying because it looks like they�re trying 2 hard or something like that, I
dunno. Wow, I am loving this whole being able to type
in my room thing, it kicks ass! I could like type naked if I wanted! Or wearing
nothing but sox! Yes! Lol, dun worry, I�ll let ya kno when I decide its too hot to work w clothes
on. Ok, the fic is �Mechanical Men� basically it stems from the episode where
Dorothy gets abducted by Beck�s mechanical scorpions for her hard drive, I
think the episode was like �The big fight� or something, if u�ve seen the show
then u know what I�m talking about, and even if u haven�t seen that particular
episode its still a pretty good fic 2 read. Its NC-17
just so ya kno, but its not just smut, there�s a good plot 2 it, I didn�t write
it 4 the sex. Just check it out.
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C h a p t e r � XI: I t � s A W o n d e r f u l L i f e
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Well you can bite the bullet

Breath in, breath out

Or be a victim all your life

Go window shopping

Save your money

Riches to rags overnight

It's a wonderful life
It's a wonderful life
You can join the family business

Serve behind the counter

Even have your name above the door

Join the order

Learn the handshake

You won't need protection anymore
It's a wonderful life
When you think it's over

You can look through your photos

Taken for prosperity and you'll find
Have an affair, get a new interest

Go into debt, go on the sick lists

Study at your leisure in your home

Get into shape, try to lose weight

Regain your confidence, control your fate

Victim of circumstance, look on the bright side
It's a wonderful life
It's a wonderful life

It's a wonderful life

It's a wonderful life
�It�s a wonderful life� � Emiliana Torrini
-------------------------------------------------------------------

She sighed, shifting a bit into a
more comfortable position where she sat leaning against the cave entrance, her
fingers idly weaving the bone needle in and out of the furry material. The last
bit of fading white flurries made their way gracefully to the snow veiled earth
like the gliding train of a wedding gown. The trees had lost their leaves long
ago and now looked like emaciated black twigs protruding awkwardly from the
contrasting colorless ground. But it looked beautiful nonetheless. For some
reason winter seemed to transform the earth into another world altogether, a
world of gray skies and glistening white grounds, everything sparkled in the
now barren horizon, leaving one feeling breathless, small, and clean.
Kagome�s eyes shifted over to the youkai across
from her who continued his vigilant post searching the horizon, looking rather
apprehensive compared to her calm exterior. His expression was something she
couldn�t pin a word on, a swirl of unease, false hope, and acrimony, she
suspected. For the past few weeks this was the routine, never leaving the entrance
with the exception of when he would go out to scan the grounds, though she
suspected it was no longer for the purpose of ferreting out threatening youkai
anymore, she was glad for the extra time to wander about those patrols gave
her. Granted she knew that she didn�t have to stay with him on his watch, he
would have probably preferred it if she didn�t, but she just felt that her
presence was needed. Just because he didn�t want it didn�t mean he didn�t need
it.
Things had settled between them somewhat since the
incident. They never spoke of it but it had changed the both of them. Now he
didn�t appear to know what to do with her. He appeared torn between pushing her
away, afraid he might hurt her again, and coming closer to prove her wrong
about his alleged animosity towards her. And Ginta, she discovered, was someone
who simply could not be torn, indecision was just something he couldn�t, and
had no idea of how, to deal with. Growing up never having to make a single decision on
your own could do that to a person, she supposed. So when faced with such a
dithering situation, she guessed, he did the only thing he knew how. He
desperately looked to someone else. Unfortunately that someone else was nowhere
to be found, hadn�t been for a quite a while. A while longer
than he was supposed to be, apparently.
Hakkaku�s prolonged absence was beginning to wear
on Ginta, and it was starting to show. He became more anxious, if not a little
panicky, taking up the habit of pacing, constantly looking out the opening,
scanning the area when he had already done his usual patrol not a half hour
ago, and just looking a wreck. He looked so alone and
nervous, like a little boy left at kindergarten by a mother who forgot to pick
him up. It was obvious he did not like being in charge, and hadn�t felt
the full weight of it until he felt he had screwed up at it. Kagome supposed if
Ginta were to be a form of government, he could most definitely be a full-blown
democracy. He severely opposed himself in any sort of leadership position, that was probably what contributed to his
indecision.
On the other hand, the incident had effected her in a rather positive light. The new worry she
had for Ginta now seemed to overshadow and veil her ardor for him, if only
temporarily. She remembered how loving InuYasha had been so much easier,
because with his life constantly being in danger it was simply easier to worry
over him than to pine for him. And apparently that held true now. She was no
longer terribly miserable over her heartbreak; there were bigger things to
consider now. Mainly him. He refused to sleep, and ate
only when his stomach began to threaten him, and on top of it all he appeared
completely incapable of sitting still. Even sitting at the edge as he was she
could see his hands fisting and unfisting eagerly.
It had been a gradual process, the first few weeks
he was just a little edgy, frowning over the horizon at Hakkaku�s blatant
delay. Then came the more frequent patrols, then the pacing, the decline in
sleep and eating, and now she was beginning to see a bit of betrayal leaking
into his anxious eyes.
crack
Kagome involuntary winced at the hallow splinter
as another of her new homemade bone needles broke. She gave an exasperated sigh
and threw it into the pile of other similarly fractured pieces before picking a
new one up from a quickly decreasing pile of makeshift needles. It seemed every
ten minutes she had to get a new one, she had no idea how people sewed this
way. But it was necessary. Ginta had finally agreed to wearing
warmer clothing, his simple fur vest and wrap left far too much open for
frostbite in her opinion. It was a given that she was definitely no seamstress,
but she at least had the know-how to add a few furry sleeves to his vest, along
with hemming on some more material to the ends so it at least came down below
his hips. Now she had come up with the ingenious idea of adding buttons so he
could button himself up instead of leaving the shirt open for the icy wind to
attack. Of course she had to cut some of the buttons off some of her less
favorable shirts and even spared one from her backpack, but she could always
cut them off and re-sew them after winter. She was going to take advantage of
Ginta�s new appeasing mood if she had to ruin her entire wardrobe. He had even
agreed to wear her sweatpants! She had suggested it when she feared his legs
getting frost bitten or gangrene from the cold and he had agreed.
Kagome felt a little excitement as she finished
the last of the buttons, leaning down to take the string of
animal-sinew-made-thread between her teeth and gnaw off the excess. Her frozen
fingers worked hurriedly to tie the end before holding it up with a grin to
examine her handy work. She honestly didn�t know why feminists had such a
problem with this being called �women�s work�, she loved the surge of feminine
pride at being able to create such a thing, even if it was rather crudely put
together with its uneven sleeves and mismatched buttons.
�Here, try it on.� She said, eagerly thrusting it
at him.
Ginta started a bit, as though he had forgotten
her in his reverie. After following her protruding arms to the mass of brown
fur, that was once his vest, laying in her hands he nodded, taking it from her
and shrugging it over his thin shoulders.
She watched him with delight as he pushed his
hands through the sleeves, it didn�t matter if the left one came to his thumb
and the other to his wrist. When he began to stare blankly at the buttons, her
fingers darted out to help him.
Ginta obediently let her brush his hands aside and
watched her work the unfamiliar little discs with skilled and knowing fingers,
quickly inserting them into their own corresponding invisible slots that he
hadn�t noticed. Looking down at himself when she leaned back to admire him he
admitted that it was a great deal warmer now, if not a little odd looking.
Kagome couldn�t stop the wide smile from reaching
her eyes when she ran her hands along her work. She was glad she could do this
for him, but it also evoked a little pride in herself
as well. His silence tore her from her little mental celebration party and she
noticed his frozen stare off into the distance. The smile wilted a bit to fret
and she patted his chest comfortingly.
�He�ll be back, Ginta. Stop worrying, its winter,
he�s bound to be a little slower than he thought.� She reassured.
Ginta only nodded absentmindedly, as if he hadn�t
really heard her. �Arigato, for the clothing.� He
said, his fingers exploring down the front.
Tomorrow was another day, after all.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

She was a liar! An ungrateful
liar! An unfaithful, ungrateful, liar! An unfaithful, Ungrateful, Bit-
�Do you plan to brood all winter,
InuYasha?� Kaede inquired casually.
The hanyou glared spitefully at her before
muttering a sharp �Keh!�
�I�m hungry, Kaede! Is it done yet?�
Shippou whined pawing at the large, steaming pot.
�Not yet, little one.� She replied one hand stirring the thick broth, the other
adding a dash of something or other into mix.
The kit gave a dramatic show of throwing himself
down with a heaving sigh, his tail twitching about anxiously.
InuYasha cringed irritatedly at the thump before
whipping his head around at the little pest. �Oi!
You�re so hungry why don�t you go hunt on your own, you little leech!� He
barked, his selective memory forgetting that he too hadn�t exactly fought off
the old miko�s offerings of food.
Shippou snorted indolently at the older youkai,
turning his head away with a haughty air. �If you don�t like it why don�t you
go out and hunt on your own!� He exclaimed cheekily.
�Good idea!� InuYasha snarled climbing to his feet
to advance on the kit.
Shippou gave a startled yip before fleeing into
Kaede�s lap, knocking some random assortment of meat and spices from her hand.
Kaede let out a frustrated breath giving the
hanyou a rebuking frown. �InuYasha, is it necessary to harass everyone in this
hut into feeling your irritation?�
�Keh, survival of the fittest.� He growled giving the little youkai a fierce look.
�Not in this home. I have dealt with
a lot from you and for a while I looked the other way out of respect for all
you have done, but this is enough! You have the reputation of a hero that you
refuse to live up to! When you�re not sulking about you�re snapping and
harassing everyone else! I apologize, but Kagome has chosen-�
�This hasn�t got anything to do with Kag-�
�I am 64 years old, I am not stupid!� She
snapped. �Kagome has chosen her path in life. I am sorry if she now puts that
above keeping your idle fancy alive, but you have no right to begrudge her. You
have put your own obligations above her many a time, and now she has her own
obligation to someone other than you. Do not expect her to come running to you
from that well anymore, InuYasha. She does not have the time, nor the strength, to keep your old place in her life open,
any longer. If you want that place then you will have to go to her, not wait
and sulk and moan when she cannot come to you. That is your responsibility now,
not hers.� Kaede gave an annoyed shake of her head at his struck look. �As soon
as it is done simmering you can eat, Shippou.� She said softly, giving the little
kit a comforting pat to the head, she must have given him a little start with
her scolding too.
InuYasha went back to his place at the wall,
sitting down to fold his hands into his sleeves and pointedly ignore everyone
around him as Kaede shooed Shippou off her lap to cool the stew. �She told me
to leave her alone.� He said under his breath, but Kaede heard him all the
same.
�When was this?�
He shrugged. � �bout six
months ago. I dunno.�
�Where those her exact
words? I cannot imagine that Kagome would say such things to you.�
�She told me to �let her go.� There, ya happy?�
InuYasha snapped.
�So let her go.�
�Nani? You just told me to start going to her!�
�Letting go does not always mean cutting all ties,
InuYasha. She wants you to allow her a life of her own, and to make decisions
for herself. And so far you have resented her for it.
You want to be the main part in her life InuYasha, and
maybe with the quest for the Shikon no kakera that was once the case, but not
anymore. Are you so unwilling to compromise being the center of her life that
you would throw away your chance to be a part of it?�
The hanyou only snorted distastefully and turned
away. �You just don�t get it.� He muttered.
�Perhaps I am not alone in that aspect.� She said beginning
to pour the bowls.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe winter wasn�t the all out
wonderland the commercials made it out to be. Kagome sighed nestling her chin
in the many sweaters crowding her still chilly frame. She stilled her hands as
near to the fire as she dared without singeing them. All the layers upon layers
she now had to wear must have made her look like an oversized Technicolor rice
ball but fashion fell below food, shelter and keeping the frostbite off her
butt.
No, winter was most decidedly not a happy go
lucky, Alice falling down the rabbit hole, wonderland. It was cold,
barren, and boring. Ginta hadn�t moved from the same spot he had been in
yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before
she had stopped keeping track. Kagome breathed out, letting the shiver race its
track up her legs leaving columns of goose pimples in its wake. Her eyes
followed the cloud of freezing air as it left her mouth. She experimentally
blew another, then another, this time shaping her mouth into an �O� and lifting
her tongue a bit. Soon she was entertaining herself with smoke circles of
varying sizes and shapes. She was trying her best to put her lips into the
shape of a square for yet another experiment when his voice from the entrance
broke her concentration.
�He�s not coming back.� He spat sourly, glaring
out distastefully at the glistening bare forest before him.
�Ginta, you don�t know that.� Kagome reminded
heartedly.
�Do you see him!� Ginta
snapped turning on her.
Kagome jolted back, surprised because he had never
spoken to her so violently before. �You can�t say that, because you have no
idea what happened.� She beseeched laying a hand at his shoulder.
�I know exactly what happened! Look at this,
Nee-san! He�s got the perfect opportunity! He�s got a whole tribe of his own,
why bother picking up old debts when you can just start over!� He growled,
angrily shrugging off her hand.
She glared at him offendedly. �You have no idea
what has happened to him, Ginta! He could be dead for all you know!� She hollered
back at his insensitivity.
�He�s not dead, he�s abandoned us!� He spat
walking back into the cave away from her.
�What kind of friend are you to have so little
faith in him!� She shouted at his back.
�What kind of friend is he to forsake his pack like
this!� Ginta bit back.
�You don�t know that!�
�Stop being dumb!� He shouted before turning his back on her to walk back to
the dens.
Kagome glowered at him furiously, lunging down to
snatch up one of the stones littering the ground floor and fling it at his
head.
The young wolf gave a startled yip at the sudden
sting hitting the back of his neck. He whipped around to snarl at her, picking
up the little stone that had struck him and chucking it back at her.
Kagome yelped seeing her own weapon come hurling straight
for her not having enough time to fully duck as it pegged her in the shoulder.
She gasped at the nip, her hand darting up to clasp and sooth the smarting
pain. She glared daggers at his retreating back. Who knew what a jerk he could
be! She had never seen him so angry before. She was sure she would sympathize
his side of the argument soon enough but for now she would just sit, nurse her
wound, and think bad thoughts about him.

Ginta glowered down at the floor,
kicking any unfortunate random pebbles that happened to cross his path. Just a
burden was he! Just an extra weight to drop at any time! How dare Hakkaku!
Where did he find it in him to do this! They were friends! The
grew up together! They were born in the same den! He growled out
viciously kicking the nearest wall in mindless fury. He gasped briefly crying
out as his foot went straight through the wall, the lack of barrier sending his
body careening into the surface before falling to the cold ground with a pain
filled grunt.
He cringed raising himself onto his forearms off
his back and climbing into a sitting position. Rubbing the back of his sore
head he glanced out in front of him to examine his current situation, which now
involved his limb being submerged in the wall up to its knee. He cried out in
embarrassment and frustration, brutally pummeling the wall while his leg tried
to extract itself to no avail.
Finally after his struggles proved fruitless and
his tantrum lost strength for its steam he gave the stony surface in front of
him one last half hearted punch before slumping into himself, his free leg
curling into an Indian style position and the other still claimed by the jagged
rocky hole.
Ginta�s eyes fell weakly to the ground between his
legs. He felt spent, lost, and alone. Now that he hand no more strength to fuel
his anger he was free to feel the full onslaught of abandonment. Nothing but
the arms of silence were there to enfold him in a
comforting embrace. He missed his friends. His family was dead. His leader was
dead. And his last remaining friend didn�t want him. Had left
him. Had left him here, alone. Ginta swallowed
the bundle of sorrow gathering at the bottom of his throat. He trusted him, he
was his best friend. He felt betrayed, betrayed and stupid. He was so stupid.
In the thick silence he remembered his mother. �Love humiliates you�..�
And it did. He loved his friends and family, and each and everyone had been
taken away or left him, leaving him feeling awkward and alone.
What left was there to leave? To
take away? �But hate cradles you�.� Ginta frowned, concentrating
on all the wrongs done him and tried to invoke the familiar anger. His eyes
clenched shut in pain as all the hurt suddenly felt more concentrated. He let
out a weak breath before slumping against the thieving wall. He was too weak to
even hate properly. He was glad his mother couldn�t see him now. All he could
really resurrect was a small flickering candle flame of anger and even that
went out without adequate passion to feed it.
He sighed, willing back the sadness. What was he
going to do now?
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Kagome stared into the tunnel
hallway as it disappeared into darkness. He had been gone for hours. Turning
back to the dimming fire she brought her knees up to her chin, wrapping her
arms around them to comfort her. What if he was right? What if Hakkaku wasn�t
coming back? After all, he did know Hakkaku far better than she. What was she
going to do? She could never leave Ginta alone, but there was no way they could
survive like this. There were strict boundaries he had erected between them
that she could never cross and she couldn�t help him if she couldn�t reach him.
She turned her head onto its cheek resting against
her kneecaps. The snow had come to a halt but she doubted that it would last.
This would probably be the only chance she would have to get out and clear her
head for a while. She glanced back at the direction Ginta had taken before
making up her mind. She briefly wondered whether or not he would accept or even
want her companionship at a moment like this. The dull throb in the shoulder
darkened her thoughts and made the decision for her. She snorted huffily,
rubbing her sore spot and nursing a grudge at the same time, then began making
her way towards her pack to grab her little red snowcap before starting towards
the entrance and down the ladder.
She was glad the wind had let up as well, it was
now a definite possibility that it would be a good day today, she thought
pleasantly. No snow to nip at her nose and cheeks and no icy wind to tangle her
hair and sting her eyes as she climbed down. She hopped childishly from the
second to last step into the snow, letting out a startled �ooff!� as the level
of snow made her underestimate the drop and sent her crashing into the powdery
whiteness. Shaking the rest of the flakes from her hair she rose from the
deformed human shaped imprint in the snow to dust herself off. She looked
around her, surprised to see that the snow now came up to mid-calf. Feeling the
cool weather graze her head, her hand frisked about her hair noticing her hat
amiss. Her gaze darted about before coming to rest on a blaringly obvious red
lump amongst the whiteness that stuck out like a sore thumb.
She squealed feeling her weight shift as she bent
down to pick it up, the heavy layers of clothing almost making her loose
momentum right into the freezing ground of powdered ice. She let out a breath
of relief when she finally grasped the hat and reared back up into a standing
position, toddling a little awkwardly before regaining her footing. Grasping
the hat by the hem she tugged it back over her head gasping aloud and cringing
when a small avalanche rolled out of the cap and tumbled across her face. She
snorted and spat away the frosty flakes before removing the treacherous hat and
shaking out all its icy weaponry. Once satisfied, she hesitantly pulled it over
her head again, glad to have warmth building back up underneath.
Turning round and round for a moment or two before
finding the right direction to go in she began to toddle off in the path most
familiar to her. The mounds of snow and fattening puffs of clothing made
walking somewhat tricky, but as long as she coordinated her hand and leg
movements it could be done. She puffed, ungainly plowing her way towards the
recognizable uneven lump in the otherwise level snow. She began to gasp for
breath halfway there, either she was getting out of shape or working through
tons of snow while carrying an added 200 lbs of clothing was taking its toll on
her.
She took one last gasp of air before sucking it in
and continuing on her path. Once she finally reached the un-level mound she let
herself fall back in the bed of frosty powder. Looking up she watched the
clouds move across their pastures of gray sky occasionally seeing her puffs of
frozen air floating above her face. A groan broke the silence as she struggled
into a sitting position. She wiggled her hips until she was sitting comfortably
on her knees.
A reddening hand that was beginning to chafe from
the cold rose to sweep across the pearly ground, scattering haphazard flakes to
the side. She repeated the motion disappointed to find nothing but more snow
underneath. No sprout had grown, no plant, no tree.
Nothing was to mark the gravesite but a pile of wet ash that would dry with
spring and blow away to be lost on the wind.
She sighed, perhaps that
is how he would have wanted it. To forever blow across the earth in a whirlwind
that wasn�t so different from his everyday life.
Feeling the chill once again work through her
layers of winter gear, Kagome let herself lay across the mound allowing her
body heat to gather and her thoughts to wander.
What was she going to do? If Hakkaku truly wasn�t
coming back then maybe Ginta would agree to return to InuYasha with her. She
mulled over the thought for a while, turning it over every which way in her
mind before deciding it wasn�t the best plan of action. If they returned she
knew she would end up giving into her need for home and leaping into the well
upon sight. Going home was the easy answer to all her problems, and one that
her honor would not let her choose. Plus, where would that leave Ginta? She
couldn�t imagine him ever truly fitting in with their little group. They would
never fill the void the loss of his pack had left within him.
Thinking of her friends she couldn�t help but
wonder what Sango and Miroku were doing. She hadn�t seem
them in so long. The threat looming over her during her last what could hardly
be called a visit hadn�t left her the time to seek them out within the village.
Where ever they were she hoped they were happy, that they were healing the
wounds Naraku had scarred them with.
Tucking her freezing hands under her arms she
tried to fight off the feelings of loneliness gathering within her heart. She
wondered how her little Shippou was doing, if InuYasha wasn�t treating him too
badly. Kagome frowned. These thoughts weren�t really helping. Trying to help
her mind stray to more pleasant subject she found them floating to Ginta. He
was worrying her. It seemed every day he was taking a new turn and different
angles, none of which she knew how to deal with. He could have her going from
confused, to scared, to happy, to miserable, to swooning in a matter of
minutes. He could have her scared so badly she just wanted to take him in her
arms, trying to press any of the love she held into his
body just so that he would feel better. He could suck the very life from her
lips if it would get him back to normal.
As normal as she knew him
anyway. Could their ever be a time
where he would let her do such things? Let her kiss his temple and hold him to
her so tightly? Maybe, had things been different. Though she
doubted if things had been different that she would even be in this situation.
If things hadn�t turned out the way they did, would she have ever fallen in
love with him in the first place? Kagome sighed, deciding to drop thoughts that
would only go in circles. Who knew why the Gods did what they did?
All she knew was that things weren�t
different. They were just the way they were now and nothing was going to change
that. She couldn�t change the past so the only thing to do would be to fix the
present.
�So what do I do now?� She murmured to herself.
�Stop eating. You�ve gotten fat.�
Kagome shrieked in surprise, jolting up only to
topple over back into the snow. She flailed about frantically, rolling about
like a turtle that had fallen on its back.
�Oi! Stop that!� He said blocking yet another flurry of stray
snow her thrashing had flung at his face.
Instantly she stopped like a game hit on pause.
There InuYasha stood, grudgingly brushing the white flurries from the bundles
in his hands. She looked up at him, breathless from her panicked struggle. �InuYasha? What are you doing here?�
�Kaede sent me to give you these since you�re
obviously too lazy to come and get them yourself. I can see why! Probably can�t
even fit out that cave of yours!� He said leaning a hand out to help her up.
Kagome glared at him swatting the hand away. �I
have not gotten fat, baka! Its cold and I have to wear a lot of
clothes!� She snapped still trying unsuccessfully to get up.
The hanyou let out a frustrated sound leaning down
to grab the fabric at her shoulder and pull her up after watching her flounder
about for a while.
She �hmphed!� sweeping the flaky
powder from her multitude of sweaters.
She glanced at the few blankets curled in his arms before politely taking them
from him. She looked up at him, watching him stare awkwardly at a point beyond
her shoulder. �Is that all you came for?� She asked trying to keep the
disappointment from her voice. It was nice to be around someone who actually
wanted you there. It had taken her a long while to realize just how much he
really did wanted her there. He snorted indignantly and shuffled his foot
around uncomfortably, but she understood what his pride wouldn�t let him say. A
gently smile glided across her lips as she slid her hand into his. �InuYasha,
do you want to go for a walk?� She asked, already starting off.
InuYasha said nothing but held the icy hand within
his just a little tighter.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

---flashback�
A contented sigh passed through the midnight air as three stuffed wolf youkai relaxed lazily around a
dancing fire. Ginta lay his back against a rotting log
rubbing his full stomach with a satisfied sort of happiness. His jaw worked
into a wide yawn as he nonchalantly shoved a sleeping Hakkaku�s head off his
log when he began to snore just a little too loudly. The noise paused as the
wolf�s Mohawk ridden head hit the dirt encrusted earth with a dull thud before
resuming the same sinus enflamed snoring.
The two-toned youkai shuffled and stretched his
shoulders, working into a comfortable position against the gritty wood. Kouga
lay on the other side of the fire, leaning against a decent sized boulder that
came up roughly to his shoulders. He stared idly into the flames casually
picking his fangs with a piece of stray bone from what used to be a nicely,
lean, meaty boar. He seemed to be floating in his own thoughts, not really
paying attention to the nightly environment around him.
Not wanting to interrupt his leader and most of
all friend from his daydreaming at the moment, Ginta
was satisfied to simply observe him there through the merrily flickering fire.
Kouga leaned against the rock, one leg sprawled carelessly across the floor
while the other was drawn haphazardly to his chest his arm draped
unceremoniously over it like a piece of strewn clothing, the other hand
absentmindedly twisting the piece of bone back and forth over a random fang.
Very little played across the alpha male�s face
but Ginta had clue about what was so captivating. �What do you think Nee-san�s
doing right now?� Ginta thought aloud. He watched Kouga�s right ear twitch at
the new sound, ice colored eyes flickered up to him briefly before going back
to the fire and his previous mulling.
Ginta let him be as he shuffled further down
the log so that his shoulders were resting against it. Contrary to popular belief,
Kouga did not have much time to really think about Kagome. Between searching
for Kagura and Naraku, planning the survival of his severely dwindled tribe,
and contemplating new rumors and the right paths to take to find their enemy,
these few moments before rest were really the only time he had to spare to
future queen. Though Kouga himself would never admit it aloud, Ginta new these
few minutes were precious to him. These minutes to relax and
stop thinking for everyone else and simply plan his own life and future.
The fox eyed youkai sniffed lazily at his
fingers before licking them clean of any remaining meat residue. He sighed
happily, these times were good. His eyes slitted open to watch a fly buss about
before settling on the upper teeth of Hakkaku�s wide-open mouth. He snickered,
silently inviting the fly to make himself at home. Another chuckle from across
signaled that Kouga was observing the spectacle as well and had probably
finished his brooding of silence.
�Close the idiot�s mouth before it decides to
lay eggs in there.� He laughed.
Ginta chuckled, lifting his
hand under the other wolf�s jaw to close it, the fly still buzzing about
inside. They both tried to
contain their laughter as Hakkaku shifted about in his sleep completely
oblivious to the frenzied buzzing coming from his jaws. Kouga folded his arms
across his chest, leaning back still sniggering.
The quiet laughter had died down and the
silence once again greeted the evening air. Ginta observed Kouga easily,
deciding to pick up the subject of his thoughts; few things were kept from den
brothers. �When do you think we�ll see Nee-san again?� He started, he knew
Kouga missed his intended and he hoped talking about it might make his friend�s
yearning a little easier.
�Soon probably, we�re searching for the same
thing so she can�t be far.� He said looking up at the starry sky.
�Would you like to try to look for her? It�s a
good while before sunrise. We�ll wait for you if you get back late.� He
suggested.
Kouga shook his head not looking at him. �Iie, let her sleep. Humans tend to need more of that than we
do.�
Ginta nodded. It felt strange to address her as
human. For Kouga�s sake, the pack would usually politely ignore this blatant
fact. But hearing him admit it made him think of all the differences between
youkai and humans. They were two completely different species, how did Kouga
plan to make this work? True, the lesser youkai would once in a blue moon rut
with one of them but it was never heard of to actually take a human for a mate. Perhaps the cultural differences could be adapted
too, but the biological ones couldn�t be ignored. Other than mating and eating,
they had no real instincts. No instincts telling them how to get home, telling
them who was part of their tribe, telling them when to breed, telling them to
stay faithful. Ginta glanced at Kouga underneath his lids. Had he really
considered any of this? He decided to breech the subject with as much caution
as possible. �Ano�..Nee-san is very different.� He started uneasily.
The raven-haired youkai chuckled under his
breath, a prideful spark dancing in his eye. �Hai, she�s one of a kind.� He
said almost boastfully, crossing his arms behind his head.
�From us, I mean. She�s different from us.�
Kouga turned his gaze from the stars to look at
him queerly, lifting a dark eyebrow.
Ginta fidgeted uncomfortable under his
questioning stare. He knew this was probably going to be a sensitive subject,
especially since he never brought it up before. �Hasn�t�..hasn�t it ever
bothered you that Nee-san is human?� He asked. He winced when he felt Kouga�s
glare settle on him. But oddly he didn�t immediately berate him for looking
down on his woman. Ginta raised his eyes to see Kouga turned away, appearing to
be as uneasy as he was.
�Does it bother you?� He said trying to
keep the threat out of his tone.
Ginta shook his head quickly. �Iie! I�m not bothered�..ano�.so much as worried.� He
admitted somewhat guiltily.
� �bout what?� He asked picking up the bone fragment to resume
picking at his teeth, relaxing with the knowledge that his friend wasn�t
questioning his choice.
�Humans��.humans just don�t
take mates the way we do.�
Kouga glanced at him once again signaling for
him to continue.
�Well, you�ve seen and heard about them.
They just randomly rut around, and even when they do take a mate even then they
can�t be trusted. Mated humans always taking others.� He
grumbled in disgust. � They don�t have the same
nature we do.�
�Are you questioning Kagome�s fidelity to me?�
He snarled out.
The other wolf frantically waved his hand
trying to cool the wave of anger threatening to crash upon him. This was not a
matter he was ready to take a beating over. �I�m just worry for you Kouga! You and her.� He said
trying to placate him.
Kouga snorted, pacified for the moment. �That�s
not for you to worry about. Kagome is faithful. She will be a fine mate.� He
asserted confidently.
Ginta was silent, waiting for the youkai�s
quick temper to fully settle before the next question
that would more likely hit home more than all the others. ��..what
about her lifespan, Kouga? Nee-san won�t live for ever.� He murmured the
last part somewhat sadly. He didn�t think he could bare the effects a mate�s
death would have on Kouga. It would shatter him. �ITE!�
He cried out as the fist sized rock hit him above the eye. A clawed hand
instantly rose to nurse the sting.
�Stop asking stupid questions, baka! Now go to
sleep! I�m not gonna be the one hauling your ass up in the morning!� Kouga
growled out laying down and turning his back to him.
Ginta mumbled under his breath grudgingly as he
leaned onto a more comfortable side, his hand still rubbing the biting pain
from his brow before giving into sleep.
---end flashback---
A porcelain ear twitched back and forth almost of
his own accord as the cold began to nip at it. Ginta�s world flickered between
blackness and fuzzy semi-light shapes. He yawned, feeling his eyes open from a
nap he wasn�t aware he had taken. Shaking his head free of the fatigue induced muck, he rose into a sitting position leaning on the palms
of his hands. He glowered at the offending wall finding half his leg still very
much its prisoner. His hand rose to massage some feeling back into the
slumbering limb.
A sigh left him, twitching the toe that was so
hidden from him. His little reminiscing had left him that much lonelier. As complicated and trying as those times were, he�d give anything
to return to them. He wanted those late night talkings back, he wanted
those easy sleeps back, he wanted his friends back.
For all the Gods had taken he wondered if they would ever give anything in
return, or if this was some sort of cosmic punishment. He tugged forlornly at
his leg wishing he had someone near him at that moment. He missed the warmth
and familial trust he had never had to want for within his clan. Looking back
in the direction he had taken he could see only darkness, suddenly wanting
Kagome to come through that void and sit with him. Maybe find a way to retract
his leg without tearing her pants she had given him.
�Nee-san?� He whispered, almost afraid to hear his echo of her name.
�Nee-san!� He called for her weakly.
�Nee-san!� This time with more urgency, his voice
reverberating through the cave.
Yet no puffy girl with chopped hair came waddling to
his rescue. He waited into the darkness for a little longer and still no
comforting smile came to greet him, no soft freezing hand lifted to grasp his
shoulder reassuringly. Now that he knew no matter of shouting would bring those
things back he found that he missed them in a way he never thought he could. It
seemed he had grown accustomed to those things. They had took seed within his
conscience and sprouted without his knowledge and now that they were gone he
was at a loss, feeling more alone and aimless than ever. Had she left?
Ginta suddenly felt ashamed at the way he had
treated her. She still had faith in a friend she had only known a few years
where as he had known him all his life and still could derive none of the same
confidence. He had given her spite she did not deserve; it was no wonder why
she would not want to deal with him. He was wrong, had been wrong for quite a
while. She had only been trying be a good den-sister
to him and he had treated her like a babysitter impatient for the parents to
return. He had been treating her the exact way he promised he wouldn�t.
The young youkai gritted his teeth and yanked his
trapped leg from the jagged whole, wincing at sound of a tearing gift. He
spared the tattered pant leg a forlorn look of apology before jumping to his
feet with a determined optimism he hadn�t have in a long time. Things would get
better! He would go and find her and apologize! Promise her that things were
going to be different and ask for her forgiveness! He would truly treat her as
the sister he had always said she was! They would talk and comfort each other
until Hakkaku returned to take them to a better place! Ginta let a smile take
over his face with his new plan. Yes! He thought taking off through the tunnel.
Bad days truly couldn�t last forever.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

�It�s snowing again.� Kagome
stated looking at the falling sky and cupping her hands together to catch the
descending flurries.
�Keh! You�re gonna get sick.� He warned.
�Well then I get sick.� She retorted walking on.
He followed her, easily keeping in step. His amber
gaze flickered about until it came to rest on an old pine with wide branches. �Oi, c�mon.� He ordered grasping her by the elbow and
leading her underneath the tree. �You�re probably already gonna get sick, might
as well keep the snow from finishing you off.� He snorted sitting down on the
decent sized patch of dry ground.
Kagome laughed softly at his veiled concern before
leaning down to sit next to him, but with all of her heavy articles of clothing
she ended up tumbling backwards, landing on her cushioned rear with a loud
grunt.
InuYasha scowled at her layered garb, tugging at
it irritatedly. �Oi, take these off.�
�Hentai.� She scoffed shoving the offending hand away.
�I said take �em off, not get naked!� He rejoined.
�First you�re worried I might get sick and then
you want me to take off the only thing that�s probably preventing that.� She
commented looking at him teasingly out of the corner of her eyes.
His face lit up, though whether from anger or
embarrassment she couldn�t tell. �Keh! I wasn�t
worried about you, stupid girl!� He bit out, though it seemed the indignancy
was a little forced on his part.
�Well either way, you should be worried about your
own clothes. You�re lucky you haven�t died of exposure!� She exclaimed taking
in his usual haori and hakama.
�Hmph, I�m fine. I�m not gonna die just from a few
snow flakes.� He said and she could have sworn she saw his chest puff up just
the littlest of bits.
Kagome chuckled, used to his masculine pride and
welcoming the familiar tirade. Unfortunately, the hanyou took her laughter to
be at his expense and sent a withering glare in her direction before whipping
away from her spitefully. She shook her head still smiling as he sulked, though gods forbid anyone ever actually call it
�sulking.�
The rustling of fabric once again brought his
attention to her just in time to see her remove yet another sweater. He
observed her carefully as she took her removed garments and the blankets he
brought her and gracefully draped them over them both. His cheeks reddened but
he said nothing when she snuggled closer to him for warmth, tucking the
sweaters and sheets around their bodies. His eyes darted down to see that she
still had a few more sweaters and what looked like t-shirts on under each other.
�Nani, did you put on everything you own?�
�Just about.� She admitted, burying herself deeper into their little
fabric den.
They didn�t talk for a long moment and it made her
want to catch up and make up for lost time. She must wanted
to hear his voice, just a little reminder that her past wasn�t dead, that it
was still very much there and perhaps waiting for her to return. �Hakkaku still
hasn�t come back.� She commented looking down, remembering her argument with
Ginta.
�I�d get sick of putting up with that useless
fur-bag too.� He scowled.
Kagome restrained her tongue, part of her wanting
to defend Ginta, the other wanting to get back at him for making her feel so
angry and foolish.
�So what�s that wimpy wolf going to do without his
lover-?�
�Stop.� She interrupted. �Just�.stop.�
She whispered. Was she so weak that she would defend him even when he made it
blatantly obvious he had no regard for her whatsoever? Her eyes slid shut
wanting to block him out and the hurt he made her feel, if only for a moment.
She could already sense InuYasha getting ready to retaliate; probably with a
fit over her taking everyone�s side but his, and probably making up stories
about her accused preference for wolves. �I miss you, InuYasha.� She said
honestly. She didn�t want to fight right now. She had done enough of that.
For some reason those little admittances of
affection always doused any flicker of his fiery temperament. She felt him
shift about uneasily for a moment but she didn�t care. Even if he couldn�t say
it, she knew he missed her too.
He knew he shouldn�t bring it up. Kaede had told
him this was what was driving her away, but he doubted he would ever be able to
simply let it go that easily. �So why don�t you leave?�
Had he asked her the same question any other time
she would have scolded him for asking her the same thing she had continuously
told him the answer to and putting her in an awkward position, but this time
she couldn�t just ignore her feelings for the better good. �I want to
sometimes. A lot of times, actually.� She murmured desolately.
He almost jolted, a little startled, he had
expected her to berate him for badgering her. Feelings of hope and anticipation
swept over him and he looked down at her when she would not meet his gaze. �If
you�re so miserable just come back. I�ll even let that fucking wolf stay with
us until his mate gets back.�
Kagome stared at the ground, not really seeing it.
If she returned? If she went with InuYasha would that
really be so horrible? Would the Gods condemn her so badly for just wanting to
be with her family? Her family. She wouldn�t be going
back to InuYasha, she would be going home. There was no way she could escape
her yearning for her mother�s arms if the temptation were dangled so closely to
her face. �InuYasha, if you knew that if I went back with you I would only go
back to my own home, my own time, would you still be so eager for me to leave?�
She asked raising her head to look him in the eyes.
Her own time. She was still so adamant about leaving him? He tore his
gaze away from her, not wanting her to see the betrayal written on his face.
�What do they have there that�s so fucking wonderful?� He grumbled shoving his
hands into his sleeves.
�My family. My family�s what�s so wonderful there.�
�Keh!�
She watched him sorrowfully. Could he never
understand? �If your mother were here, would you be so willing to leave her?�
She saw his face visibly change as thoughts of his mother swam through his
mind. She knew that �what ifs� where running through him as well as fantasies
of her alive and well and loving him. Her hand rose to lay
on his knee. �My mother is worried about me, InuYasha. I miss her.� She said
looking into his face even though he refused to return her gaze. �I would come
back here. I would visit every chance I got.� She added comfortingly giving his
knee a reassuring squeeze.
Visits. That�s all this would be: visits. The only reason she
spent so much time in the Sengoku Jidai was because he made her. Because he constantly lorded her duty over her head. As much
as he complained about how long she stayed at home he knew in comparison to how
long she spent with him that all her trips home were simply visits. Now the
roles were switched and she would only come back to the Sengoku Jidai �when she
had the time.� And when would that be? Once every week?
Once a month? A year? He knew
her little �visits� would dwindle, until one day she forgot to come, and then
it would take second wheel to everything else in her life. She would slowly
cross out his own place in her life and their time
together would fade to nothing but a memory. �S�not the
same.� He mumbled begrudgingly.
Kagome�s eyes went solemnly to the hand resting
contentedly on his knee before turning to look him in the face. �Things aren�t
the same now.� She watched him shuffled about looking for something to
say. Not wanting one of their few meetings to turn into a self-pity fest she
decided to change the subject. �How are Sango and Miroku? How�s Shippou?� She
questioned.
�She and the lecher brought the brat back then
decided to go their own way. Wanted to take a break and find some sort of
peace, I dunno. They said they would be back, though.�
�Oh, and Shippou?�
�Fucking irritating as always.� He growled.
She laughed softly at that. �And you? How are
you?�
InuYasha looked at her oddly, not used to such
formal talk from her. �Oi, what�s with all the stupid questions?�
�I just want to make sure you guys are okay.� She
said honestly.
�What about you? You okay?� He asked making sure
to keep the concern from his voice.
She shrugged, her lips slightly turning up into a
soft, sad, little smile as she turned her attention to the ground hoping her
butchered hair would hide her eyes. Was she okay? Kagome opened her
mouth, wanting to speak of her missing her family, but strangely she found no
feelings to back the statement up. Oddly enough Ginta�s image flashed through
her mind, eclipsing her home, her time, and the loved ones residing there. It
scared her and made her feel ashamed. Just when had her love for him started
overshadowing that for her old life? When had he become the sun in her eyes? So high above the rest of the stars. When had he become the
bigger part of the reason she was still here? And he didn�t even know it, she
thought sorrowfully. He never would. How could she fall in love with something
so out of reach? He truly was the sun in her eyes, a star she could never
touch.
InuYasha tilted his head trying to get a better
view of her. He smelt the salty tang of tears fresh on her cheeks. Where things
that bad? �Oi, daijoubu?�
Kagome sniffed when she felt her nose beginning to
run. Her hand quickly darted up to wipe at her eyes as she pitifully tried to
laugh it off, not wanting to worry him. �Hai hai, just a little sad that�s
all.� She explained.
�Dooshite?�
She turned to him with watery eyes and a soft
smile that didn�t reach them. �Girls just get sad every now and then.�
�Bullshit.� He grumbled staring into her face.
He may not love her more than Kikyou, may never
choose her over Kikyou, but she knew he cared. And right now that was enough.
Kagome gazed into those two pools of liquid amber, wanting to drown in them and
never come up because reality was just too hard to face now a days. He
represented the �what if�s� that constantly hung over her life now. What if
Kouga hadn�t loved her, what if he hadn�t died, what if Ginta had never come
for her, what if she had never fallen in love with him, what if she could go
back? But they were questions that she could never get the answers she hoped
for and the answers she had now were ones she didn�t want. But right now, she
felt warm, she felt cared for, she felt peaceful. Almost involuntarily her
hands rose to cup the side of his face lovingly, not phased by the horrible
blush that stained his cheeks.
Was she okay? No. She was everything but okay. She
was scared, she was cold, she was in love, she was miserable, she was worried. But she wasn�t okay. Yet at that moment, as
she felt strong arms move to her waist she was the closest thing to it she had
been in what was like an eternity. That look in her dear hanyou�s eyes, that stare of hidden rapture and barely sealed anticipation,
resembled the one she longed to see on Ginta�s. She wanted him to look at her
that way.
It was as if she had lost control of her own body,
as though it had developed a mind of its of as it
urged her closer to those amber eyes. She was so close she could feel the heat
from his lips and the breath from his nose fanning her eyelashes. Pale eyelids
slid shut before watching his face descend onto her own.
No darkness met her when she felt rough masculine lips touch her soft malleable
ones. Instead, a tall lanky form, with a pallid face, dotted eyes, and course
monochromatic hair formed beneath her lids.
�Nee-san?�
-------------------------------------------------------------------

She wasn�t that hard to find. The
snow was deep and therefore left good footprints. Although he didn�t know why
he ignored that other set that walked beside her own,
or why he toned out the masculine scent that accompanied her more effeminate
one. This, however, he couldn�t ignore or tone out. Bright flashes of red and
other randomly assorted color blared against the contrast of the snow and
seared itself against his retina. His eyes morbidly followed the motion of her
lips, stalked the path of the hanyou�s clawed hand as it gripped at her tangled
hair. His legs were paralyzed; his throat had crumbled into dust inside his
neck. Why did he feel like he had been hind-kicked by a horse? Why did he feel
as though someone had punched through his chest and tied his lungs up in a
pretty little bow? �Nee-san?�
They couldn�t have broken apart faster had
lightening struck between them. He barely gave the other male a passing glance
at his annoyed, blushing face, but instead focused on Kagome. She stared at
him, horrified, as if her only wish in the whole wide world was to disappear.
She instantly stood up, and Ginta couldn�t help but notice the tumble of
blankets and a few sweaters as they were shoved aside.
�Oi! Wolf!-� InuYasha barked angrily.
�Gomen.� Ginta interrupted taking off away from the disturbing
scene and the even more disturbing effect it was having on him.
�Ginta matte!� Kagome shouted beginning to dash after him. She was pulled
to a jerky halt before she even began when a firm hand snagged her wrist.
�Kagome, what are you doing?� He asked looking at
her questioningly.
Too panicked to give a proper answer she quickly
yanked away from him, cringing when she felt as though her wrist had been torn
from its socket. �I can�t explain! I have to go!� She yelled back.
InuYasha opened his mouth to argue, readying
himself to chase her down. But he didn�t. A few years ago he would have no
problem with even wrestling her to the ground and sitting on top of her to get
her to listen. But now things were different, even he could sense that.
Something was different about her. He didn�t know what, but he felt he
should. Like a name on the tip of your tongue. He threw one last childish glare
to the direction she had gone off in before stomping off to Kaede�s, leaving
the sweaters and blankets on the wet ground to freeze and eventually gather
snow.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

She had spent hours looking for
him. Staying outside, going as far as her sense of direction could take her,
until the cold ushered her back to the caves with hopes he had returned there
even though the newly clean, level, and print less snow said otherwise. Worry
and guilt warred within her when she had enough time to build a fire and even
defrost some meat while she waited. Where could he be? And why did she feel so
guilty? Its not like he cared what she did with her
feelings. What reason would he have?
Kagome sighed hunching over in her sitting
position on her little log staring into the fire. Why wasn�t he back yet? She
turned towards the entrance, weighing whether or not she should go back out
again. The winds and angry flurries had returned. She could see snowflakes
turning, twisting, and racing furiously around the night sky. The image
reminded her of a T.V. picking up static. Resting her chin on her palm she
turned back to the fire, idly picking at her new section of well heated meat.
There was no reason to feel guilty. She hadn�t
done anything she knew that would offend him. Did he think she was spitting on
Kouga�s memory by kissing InuYasha? She could see how that would hurt him, but
it insulted her to think that he really expected her to live the rest of her
life lonely, forever. Even though she had nothing to feel guilty about she
would apologize anyway, once he got back. Kagome watched the reds, yellows, and
oranges of the fire dance excitedly back and forth. How was it that he could
have her rushing to apologies so readily? Even with InuYasha she had argued her
point to the very end. With Ginta it was different. Their arguments hurt her
more than the ones with InuYasha; she took them personally, more to heart than
the ones with the hanyou.
Glaring into the flames, she couldn�t help but
think how weak her love for the wolf youkai left her feeling. �One-sided
love will do that to you, I guess.� Her lips drew up in a little smile, an
honest little smile. Having feelings for who she did
was in many aspects wrong. It was spitting in the faces of InuYasha, Kouga, and
her whole purpose for coming here in the first place. Yet, its
never wrong to truly care about someone, to love them and want to be there for
them, to ensure their happiness even at the expense of your own. Real love was
sacrificing yourself for the one you love. And no God could condemn that.
She found a little peace in those thoughts. If
nothing, her feelings were true and honest. She wanted to see her home, her
family, her mother, her brother, Buyo, InuYasha,
Shippou, Sango, and Miroku again; she wanted her old life back. But she wanted
to be with Ginta more. She wanted to live to see him happy again, even if it
wasn�t with her. She wanted to be close to him, to earn his care, even if it
was only the care of a brother or a good friend.
Kagome felt her spirits beginning to lift. Things
were going to get better as soon as he walked through that entrance. She would
apologize and reassure him that Hakkaku was coming. She would talk about their
new home they would be going to and brighten his mood. She imagined how they
would talk into the night with their plans for the future. Yes, things would
look up. She smiled contentedly popping a piece of meat into her mouth, trying
not to think of the poor helpless animal it had more than likely come from.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

She was a whore. A lying, untrue whore. He had warned Kouga about human
nature, he had told him how they were. How dare she!
Acting the part of the sufferer for the cause all the while she was changing
faces and running to the hanyou. Being both the martyr and the slut! Evil slut!
Kouga would never forgive her! Ginta�s vehement thoughts continued to poison
his mind as he stomped through the snow in directions he had long since forgot.
How he wished Kouga had seen her true nature. Had
seen how she really was! She didn�t deserve to be his friend�s betrothed! She
didn�t deserve the dirt he walked on! And to think, he was going to apologize
to that harlot! It was a good thing Hakkaku wasn�t coming back! Gods forbid he
see her for the whore she was!
Ginta fought back the watery sting behind his
eyes. He was alone again. He would be alone for a long time to come. Hakkaku
wasn�t coming back. He had left him. Had left him a long time
ago. He shook his head violently. Fine! Let him go! He would kick Kagome
out and be rid of them both! Hakkaku could lead his pack all he wanted, Ginta would set out and join his own tribe! He
didn�t need them! He didn�t need any of them! He was so angry he had no idea
how he would face her. He didn�t want to see her right now.
Unfortunately fate has an odd way of working out.
Ginta stopped his mental ranting, his eyes setting of the opening from the
forest his absentminded feet had taken him. Apparently he had just stomped in
one giant circle around the forest only to return to the caves. He stared at
the looming stony cliff a ways away. He pictured her inside, probably smiling
about her deceit, wishing she were with her lover again. He growled. After all
Kouga had done for her.
It didn�t� take him long to reach the peak,
immediately jumping up the side to the entrance and just as he thought. There
she sat, happily cooking food and sitting by the fire smiling over her little
triumph. He panted a little, not realizing he had gone so far. Obviously she
heard him, her head whipping around to face him. He could see her fight back
her smile at seeing him in turn for a more cautious look. She took a step
towards him and she dare to look him in the face after what she had done!
�Ginta�.� She started pausing when he stomped
towards her, anger blazing in his eyes. She took a hesitant step back at his
forwardness.
�Stupid girl!� He shouted at her, giving her a shove that sent the miko
tripping back but not falling. She quickly regained her balance opening her
mouth to retaliate but he was too quick for her, instantly tramping back to her
to shove her again. �Whore! Dirty
Whore!� He yelled in her face before pushing her away.
She stumbled back just as she did before until she
regained her footing. �N-Nani! What�s the matter with you!� She yelled back.
�Don�t play stupid! How dare you!� His arm snapped
forward snatching her by the elbow, swinging her around and letting her fly
into the wall nearest to the cave opening. �Get out! You don�t deserve to be
here!�
Kagome grunted in pain as her back hit the stone
though not hard enough to knock the wind from her. He was obviously holding
back. She had no idea he would be this furious! �Ginta listen to me! Gomen
Nasai, gomen, I didn�t mean for that to happen.�
Not even her apologies stopped him from turning on
her again and giving her another shove towards the entrance. �You�re a liar! A liar and a slut!� He shouted.
She was temporarily startled, unused to such
horrible words coming from what was once such a gentle mouth. Her brows
furrowed and her lips turned into a determined line. He was overdoing it. �Stop
it.� She growled out.
�I said get out!� He yelled giving her another
push.
Kagome tripped back but still managed to keep her
balance. She could tell the opening was near and wondered if he was angry
enough to push her out. �Ginta I said quit it.� She said a little louder
and more forceful.
�I SAID GET
OUT-� He reared back to shove her again but was interrupted by her arms
snapping out around him and pulling him towards her. She held him in what he
could tell was a fierce embrace for a human.
�I said stop it Ginta! Stop it.� She hissed
angrily in his ear with a sad little note to it.
But Ginta�s brain couldn�t register her words. He
snarled at her furiously trying to push her again but her arms held fast around
him sending them both tumbling to the ground.
The added weight of him crashing her into the
ground left her breathless for a few vulnerable seconds. She gasped feeling her
hair dangle over the edge, realizing how dangerously close they both had come
to falling off. When she felt him shift she instantly heaved him off of her and
scrambled back into the gave making it as close as the fire before she felt a
something grab her ankle, yanking and twisting it back.
She turned her head and glared at Ginta before
bringing her other foot up to give him a sharp, clean punt across the face. He
yipped and flew back into a kneeling position to nurse his wounded cheek,
giving her enough time to get behind the fire before he came at her again.
She made a startled noise seeing him leap across
the fire in a dive for her. Squealing just as he caught her about the waist she
twisted angrily, wrestling with him when he had her on the ground.
�You�re a liar! You betrayed him! Unfaithful harlot!� He snarled at her struggling with her
wrists when she repeatedly tried pummeling, kicking, scratching and biting at
him.
�Knock it off, Ginta!� She shouted furiously
landing a knee to his gut.
Ginta grunted at the sudden pain in his stomach
but continued to grapple with her on cold floor. �Stupid
girl! Stupid slut!� He growled. Pain,
loneliness, hurt and betrayal flowed through him, making him blind and dumb. Hakkaku
was gone, Kagome was gone, everyone was gone. He was
alone. He didn�t need them. He didn�t want to need them.
Kagome gradually felt his struggles get weaker,
she braved looking up into his face and it seemed as though he wasn�t even
seeing her. She drew in enough air and stopped tussling with him. Instantly he
had her hands pinned above her with the force of a rubber band let loose.
�Ginta, stop it.� She said calmly.
And strangely enough. He did. Kagome let out a breath of relief when he leaned
back and crawled off her. She sat up and stared at him. His shoulders were
tense and he wasn�t looking at her. �Gomen Nasai.� She said softly.
�He�s not coming back.� He murmured.
The raven-haired girl was silent for a long time
just observing him. Was this what that was all about? He looked so fragile and
lost. Had Hakkaku�s absence affected him so horribly? �Don�t say that.� She
said remorsefully putting a hand on his shoulder.
�HE�S NOT COMING BACK, NEE-SAN!�
He shouted wretchedly.
His pale hand came up with its long, taloned
fingers, and for a moment she thought he was going to shove her away but he
simply took her wrist in his hand and mournfully threw himself into her arms.
It seemed as though all his sadness, all his fear
and loneliness flowed into her. She could feel it and it broke her heart. She
tucked his head into her neck and let her fingers trail softly up and down his
back. She felt his Adam�s apple bob as he swallowed against her.
�How could you betray Kouga, Nee-san?� He
whimpered pitifully.
How could she betray a ghost? She couldn�t help
thinking. But she understood his pain. �I�m sorry. I didn�t mean for that to
happen.�
He appeared to accept her answer for the time
being because he settled easily against her, using her for support against all
the demons that had been haunting him as of late. Kagome cradled him lovingly
against her, ignoring the uncomfortable heat at her back from the fire�s
closeness. It was a mixture of emotions flowing through her at the moment. She
mourned his sadness but couldn�t help the warm happiness swimming inside her at
his nearness. She wondered if he would allow her to kiss his temple. A slight
pain sparked in her elbow when she reached too far to sooth his back. It
brought her back to their tussle and she fought the blush floating up her face
and felt ashamed of the heat in the pit of her stomach thinking of him on top
of her in such a way. �Kagome you�re sick.� She thought angry with
herself.
Ginta sighed against her neck, trying to steady
himself. What was he going to do? Should he leave? If Hakkaku wasn�t returning
then what reason did he have to stay? And what of Kagome?
He had no idea how another tribe would react to her should he leave and find a
new one. He had no dreams of leadership over a clan, since Hakkaku decided to
go on his own that was his responsibility now. He only wanted to join
one, to be a part of a family again, to not be so alone again. He tensed;
bringing her closer to him, maybe doing so would bring more comfort to him. It
would not be the same. No tribe could ever replace his clan. They were his
family. It would never be same. His family was gone��.Oh Gods his family was
gone! He thought, gritting his teeth and willing back the dreaded eye water
burning behind his sockets. Suddenly something familiar caught his nose. His
thoughts instantly paused as it danced under his nostrils. He breathed it in
deeply, closing his eyes trying to place it. It was enticing and made to
addict. It was the scent of a female in heat. His eyes popped open almost instantaneously.
He blinked a few times processing the aroma and the meaning behind it. Kagome,
she was��.
This had to be the most humiliated she had ever
been in her entire life! Even more so than when her skirt had
blown up in front of her history teacher who had come to consult with her at
lunch. Her face paled when she felt him begin to sniff like a hound
picking up a criminal�s scent. �Oh my Gods�.� She thought, thoroughly
humiliated and disgusted with herself. What could he think of this? Her body
froze, as if by not moving he couldn�t see her. She gulped, mortified, when she
felt him rise up to look at her. She found that she could not look him in the
face. Razored fingers gripped her upper arms, her brow furrowed at the gesture
and she turned to look at him questioningly just as his face dove to seize her
lips. She gasped feeling him jerk her against him and move against her with a
passion she had never felt before.
He felt her mouth open and quickly shoved his
tongue in to explore the little cavern. Perhaps this was why she had kissed the
hanyou. It was a good way to forget about troubles, it pushed all worries and
fears to the back of your loins until the only thing in your head was a need
dying to satisfy itself. It was strange how just a smell faded everything, like
a bandage over a wound. His arm came around her, the force of his kiss bending
her backwards. His instincts began instructing his body like the puppet master
of a marionette.
Kagome�s eyes slid shut in elation. Her hands
snaked over his shoulders to run through his monochrome hair. A small part of
her was worried, constantly questioning what was going on and why he was doing
this, but the bigger more selfish part of her, that felt it had been denied far
too long, beat that smaller part into a mutilated pulp. She wanted his arms
around her, she wanted him kissing her, she wanted him to look at her the way
InuYasha had, she wanted those eyes speaking words of affection to her. One arm
wrapped tightly around his shoulders while the other pressed his head closer to
her own, wanting him nearer, impossibly nearer. She suddenly felt the hindrance
of having so many clothes on and silently wished she had forwent
the cold in favor of a light shirt or something easier to remove. Kagome pushed
against him, wanting to fix the problem and the chance to see his face, to see
him look at her. But Ginta appeared to have the problem figured out. She
jolted, startled at the feeling of claws clutching her many collars and tearing
their way down. A rush of cold air hit her like a bucket of ice water. She
hadn�t realized just how much all those sweaters had protected her until now.
Her arms wanted to cross over her and rub away the goose pimples gathering
there but the youkai before her beat her to it.
Her arms wrapped around him once more, a little
fearful as he began to lean her body to the ground beside the fire. The fur of
his vest rubbed against her stomach and brushed over her nipples leaving them
feeling sore and wanton for attention. A wet smack met her ears when he pulled
away from her long enough to tear the buttons away from his fur clothing and
roughly tug it aside. Kagome spared her morning�s work a mournful glance before
her attention was brought back to the fidgeting wolf currently ripping the pants
from his hips and legs, not wanting to get up and break contact with her. She
opened her mouth to scold him for ruining her pants but he broke her off
by attacking her mouth once more.
Her body tensed when he went to her own pants.
This was it. Her final real barrier. She
stilled herself and hugged him tight, feeling his claws run down the fabric,
leaving it in ribbons at her legs before being swept away and pushed aside by
the same hands. Kagome felt him frisk around her panties and was a little
embarrassed that they were the same ones she had worn the day before. The cold
just hadn�t allowed her ample time to wash all her things. Though it became a
thought of past when razor tipped fingers plunged in and tore them from her
hips. She shuddered at the feeling of such dangerous weapons against her
vulnerable skin.
He strained against her and she obediently opened
her legs allowing him to settle between them. Immediately she could feel him, all
of him. And it made her want to shove him away and run
for the hills. This was a huge step but she wondered,
if she turned from him now, would he ever come to her again? Kagome steeled
herself and lifted her legs, wrapping them around his own. His arms snuck under
her back to cup the backs of her shoulders as he continued to pummel her mouth.
Kagome tried her best to keep up with him but it
all seemed to be going so very very fast, so powerfully all at the same time.
It was so intense it left her feeling lightheaded and overwhelmed. Every now
and then he would break from her, allow her an adequate number of breaths
before diving back in and passionately assaulting her lips and tongue. Kagome
froze again when she felt him move against her. She clenched her eyes shut and
hoped she was ready. She kept her eyes shut as he shifted above her before
something different penetrated her barriers. Her eyes snapped open and her head
lulled back from his kiss, feeling his fingers massage her there in a way she
hand never experienced. It was like a cradle over her womanhood, rocking back
and forth, back and forth. Rocking and rocking, hitting this precious bud at
the top before gliding down to slide partially into her increasing wetness.
His face was buried in her neck now, much like
before. This time, though, she could feel him panting, his lips every now and
then brushing against her skin with a particularly heavy breath, his solid teeth
hitting the juncture between her neck and shoulder. She moaned at the loss when
the rocking stopped and his fingers left her only to gasp as something bigger
probed her entrance. She cried out at the abrupt thrust of his hips. Her lips
twisted into a sob, tears flowing down her cheeks and her body felt it was
being torn apart from the inside out. He stilled, though whether it was to give
her ample time to adjust or savor the sensation she didn�t know. It wasn�t long
before he began to move again, his strokes getting harder, more powerful, more intense. It still hurt but the achingly addictiveness
of it kept her coming back for more.
She gasped and whimpered, her fingers fisting in
his hair, his claws digging into the backs of her shoulder blades. She felt his
thrusts becoming faster, harder still, and with every heave of his hips she was
closer to something she had no name for. She silently pleaded for him not to
stop, it still hurt but she was so close. Moans, grunts and other sounds of
pleasure reached her ear and she cuddled him closer to her. Tell him, she had
to tell him. Kagome tried to unfog her mind long enough to whisper to him.
�Ginta, Ginta I- ITTE!� She screamed feeling his fans rip into her neck, right
at the juncture between her throat and shoulder. She sobbed desperately pulling
at his hair, �Ginta! Ginta Stop!� Oh Gods she was so close and he wasn�t
stopping. Her thighs rose, her legs trapping his torso in their steel-like grip
while her fingers continued to try to tear him away from the wound at her neck.
The pain and pleasure each tearing her in two, both demanding attention. �Ginta! Stop! Stop It I Love You!� She cried into his ear
just as he delivered the final thrust that sent her spiraling into a place
where pain and mental thought processing did not exist.
Her breath was torn from her, and she saw stars. Millions of stars before her eyes. She felt the youkai above
her tense, his claws cutting into her and his teeth biting harder, but she felt
none of it. A loud cry of something she knew wasn�t pain resounded in her ear
before he collapsed, panting, on top of her. She let him rest there for a while
until they both caught their breaths and their hearts stopped pounding. Other
than the snaps and pops of the fire their gasps and wheezes for air where the
only sounds around them. She wondered briefly if it was still snowing outside
before turning her attentions back to her new lover. Her fingers caressed his
cheek as she pulled away just enough to see his face. His eyes didn�t bear the
glowing warmth of a new found love but instead the dull weary ones of a man too
physically and emotionally exhausted to stay awake.
She couldn�t help the fear and disappointment that
panged her heart, but tried not to think about it, instead, tucking his head back
to rest on her shoulder and letting them both fall asleep. Things would be
better in the morning.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

It was dark again. Ginta breathed
a weary sigh, walking through the abyss of blackness. Everything gave the
impression of going on forever. It seemed he would walk into infinity for all
time until he stopped and looked on all sides of him. Turning around on the
path he had been walking from he hoped to see some sign of light, some
illuminated direction to go in, but there was none. He sighed regretfully and
turned back around to continue looking for some way out. Ginta gasped jolting
back in surprise and fear. His body froze in terror as the proud wolf prince
stood before him, icy eyes holding fatal promises. His arms folded across his
chest tightly, his shoulders firm and tense, his
tailed lashed back forth like an angry flame. Every survival instinct in him
told him to run for his life, to get away but he couldn�t� tear himself away from the glowering, deadly eyes that were
boring into him with such coldness. �Kouga, I-�
�Bastard! You thieving piece of treasonous shit!� He snarled wildly
at him.
Ginta could practically see the foam dripping from
the other male�s fangs. He watched Kouga�s muscles get tighter, his posture
become tenser with surprised rage. Suddenly his friend�s threatening growls
weren�t the only one�s tearing through the silence of the darkness. Ginta�s
eyes widened as his entire pack sneered and snarled at him from behind their
leader. Hundreds of muzzles and teeth dripping with spittle
and hungry tongues dying to crush his bones and tear the meat from them.
�Iie! You don�t understand-�
�Filthy traitor!� Kouga barked his arms uncrossing and taking an
intimidating step towards the other wolf. �You pissed on all our graves and you
want fucking forgiveness!� He spat. The tribe got more frenzied behind him,
barking and tails whipping to and fro as his voice grew.
�Onegai, Kouga! Gomen, gomen nasai! I�m sorry!� He
wailed wanting to fist his hands in his ears to block out the sounds of
murderous snarls and barks.
�You�re sorry? YOU�RE FUCKING SORRY!� Kouga
blared, coming closer to his once den brother with every word.
�Kouga, Kouga forgive me.� He wept, raising his
head to look beseechingly into his leader�s frigid eyes.
�You think you deserve my forgiveness?� He rumbled
threateningly, his hands darting out to clench in his vest and yank him
forward, closer to his sneering face.
Ginta continued to yowl shaking his sobbing head. �Iie! Iie, but I want it, onegai, Kouga.� He pleaded through
tearful eyes. �Onegai, I�ll do anything.�
Kouga�s fingers clenched into
his vest, digging his talons deep into Ginta�s pale skin. His frosty eyes went cold,
bringing the other male so close Ginta could feel his breath on his face.
�You�ll do anything, Ginta?� He said in low tones watching the thinner youkai
nod his head vehemently. �What the hell could you possibly do THAT WOULD MAKE
THIS ALL FUCKING BETTER!� He shouted in
Ginta�s face. �You were my friend, Ginta! You were my friend and you went
behind my back you bastard! WHAT COULD YOU DO THAT WOULD EVER MAKE THAT OKAY!�
Tears ran down his face �I�m sorry, gomen nasai,
I�m so sorry, I�m sorry, I�m sorry!� He wept.
Kouga grunted giving the wolf a
firm shake. �Enough, enough of your howling.�
He said in a deadly even voice. �You�re right though. You will make it
up to me.� He continued, twisting the fur of his vest in his firm grip. �And
here�s your chance!� He roared lifting the other youkai and hurling him towards
his awaiting pack.
Ginta cried out as he was chucked careening into
the awaiting jaws of what was once his tribe. He continued to scream and
struggle, feeling their jaws bite into him, tearing away his skin to get at the
lean muscle inside. �KOUGA! KOUGA ONEGAI!� He screamed
reaching for his friend.
But his last sight was of those
frost colored eyes boring icily into his, watching his pack rip him
apart.
Kagome was jolted awake, feeling her partner
unexpectedly shove away from her. She blinked a few times, fighting back a yawn
as she turned her sleepy head to look up at him looming breathlessly over her.
Her eyes slammed open at his crazed appearance. He was hovering over her
balancing on his palms on wither side of her, panting and gasping for air as if
he would never get enough, his lanky frame covered in a thick sheen of sweat,
his pupils constricted, staring at her in horror.
Her brow furrowed in concern and she raised a hand
to touch his face. �Ginta? Daij-?�
�IIE! No, no don�t touch me!� He screamed throwing himself away
from her.
Kagome sat up in worry, watching him scramble
against the wall, his eyes darting wildly around the room. �What�s wro-�
�Its true!
ItstrueItstrueItstrue! I betrayed him!� He whimpered still frantically scanning
the room for some hidden evil.
Forsaking her modesty for the greater good, Kagome
began to crawl over to him. �What�s true? Who�d you betray?� She asked
completely confused. What was wrong with him?
�KOUGA! Oh Gods he can�t find out! Th-that dream must�ve been a
premonition! He found out then but I can still stop him from knowing! Oh Gods
Nee-san he can�t know! It�ll kill me if he found out!� He pleaded, his body
shivering though whether it was from fear or the cold she wasn�t sure.
She ignored the pang in her heart him still
calling her �Nee-san� sent through her. �Kouga?�
What was he talking about?
---flashback---
�I don�t think he�s really accepted the fact
that Kouga�s gone and that�s probably going to hurt him later�.�
---end flashback---
Kagome�s hand darted to her mouth. Her eyes watering in sorrow and sympathy. �Oh, oh Ginta,
come here, listen to m-� She pleaded comfortingly, reaching out to him.
�IIE! No, you�re going to tell, aren�t you? Oh my gods you�re
going to tell!� He shouted hysterically jerking away from her as though she
were on fire.
�Nani? No, no Ginta I�m not going to-�
�Yes, yes you are!� He exclaimed. �I can�t let
you! I can�t let you tell him!�
A scream tore through her lips as he tackled her
to the ground. She began to wheeze and struggle when his fingers clamped firmly
around her throught, his razor tipped thumbs pressing into her windpipe. Her
legs kicked out frantically, her hands clutching at his wrists, her head trying
to shake itself loose.
�You don�t understand, Nee-san. This shouldn�t
have happened. Our, our rutting was a mistake, and I can�t let you
tell.� He said regretfully spitting the word, his thumbs pressing more firmly
into her esophagus.
A strangled sob escaped her closing throat. Tears
cascaded down her face. This couldn�t be happening! How could fate be so cruel?
Ginta applied more pressure feeling her thrashing
beneath him. He watched her tearful face and instead of gasps of air only
choked sobs made it through her lips. His heart broke at the sight. The sight
he was currently the cause of. His teeth clench forcing his hands to still. No,
he couldn�t do this to her. It wasn�t her fault.
Kagome instantly wheezed for air, her lungs made
with their greed for it when he released her throat. She turned on her side to
choke and gasp in peace the minute he drew himself off of her, clutching his
head in agony. Quickly scrambling to her feet, she watched him wearily now.
He tossed about in a panic before his eyes settled
on her once more. �He can never know, Nee-san.� He whimpered making his way
towards here.
Kagome bawled wretchedly, backing away from him.
He continued to steadily approach her staring at her in paranoia.
�I-I don�t want to hurt you, Nee-san.� He said
dolefully.
She wept freely not bothering to wipe away the
tears flooding her eyes. �Don�t do this Ginta. Don�t.� She sobbed still backing
away. She shrieked and managed to dodge the swipe he made at her.
Kagome cried and took off running only to come to
a screeching halt before the cave entrance where the blizzard continued into
the night air. She whipped around just in time to see an ashen arm draw back
and come down upon her. Her head snapped back and all she knew was that it
suddenly got very cold and she could not feel the floor anymore.
Sailing through the frosty sky and into the snow
ridden earth, she landed like a rag doll hitting the floor with a dull crunch,
jarring her weak frame. The several feet of snow managed to break her fall long
enough for her to survive it but not enough to keep the furious pain from
shooting up and down her body. Kagome moaned, trying to fight off the
temptation of unconsciousness. She forced her battered lungs to work and regain
the wind knocked from them. Her eyes blinked the blur away from their sight to
see Ginta standing at the opening looking down on her.
A painful gasp jolted her lungs, watching him leap
off the ledge towards her. She coughed and thrashed to her feet ignoring the
agony running up and down her spine. She stumbled but regained her footing long
enough to hear the thud of snow breaking. She sobbed sensing him coming for her
as she continued to run, a throbbing pain stinging the insides of her legs and
ankles with each step.
Ginta chased her to the edge of the forest. His
warring insides making him slow. He didn�t want to catch her, he didn�t want to
hurt her, but at the same time he couldn�t allow her to run off and tell Kouga
about what they had done. He couldn�t bear the look of betrayal on his best
friends face.
The raining snow obscured his vision but he knew
it must be more damaging for her. She had a decent head start but she did not
have the luxury of his youkai speed and strength. She ran as fast as she could
the snow easily slowed her down. He chased her to the edge of the forest when a
new fear overcame him. What if somebody saw him? What if they saw them in this
state! Suspicions would arise and they would get back to Kouga! He couldn�t go
on looking like this! He staggered beginning to trip over the hidden rocks and
uprising roots. He stopped within the forest borders watching her dart deep
into the woods.
�DON�T TELL, NEE-SAN!
ONEGAI, DON�T TELL!� He shouted though he doubted she even heard him.
He stared down the path she had gone for a long
while. He felt drained. Drained and numb. How could he sink any lower? How
could the Gods ruin him any further? The stress and fatigue grabbed him in
their clutches, sending him to the snowy forest floor. He gazed up at the black
sky from within his deep, youkai shaped indent. The snow fell to his body,
making him want to be buried alive. The world, it seems, was simply too much to
bear. His eyes lids were heavy and his muscles were weak.
�What have I done?� and he succumbed to
unconsciousness just before feeling two strong hands grab him.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey hey! Sorry for the long time
no update. But I think this chap is worth it, what about u guys? The last
chapter is the end! Like I said I have a bit of a sequel all worked out but not
sure if I should do all this again. Either way, R&R ppl! Next chap is the
ending!
- 10
- 11
- 12
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Show Me How It Ends	By : DeniPie Category: InuYasha > General Views: 4931 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Show Me How It Ends