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A Glass Half Full	By : psychicvampire23 Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Rin > Sessh?maru/Rin Views: 9930 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Stepping Stones

Sesshoumaru arrived home late that day, and he wasn’t surprised to find Risa lounging around his living room. He hung up his coat and dropped his keys on the black marble counter that separated the kitchen from the lounge.
“Where have you been? I missed you.” Purred Risa, stretching in a feline fashion and getting up from the leather sofa.
Tasting some exceptional wine, courtesy of a certain ex-patient, in the privacy of his office. “I expected to be alone tonight.” He drawled, voice cold and carrying a hint of disdain.
“Aw, but I’m in such need of company.” Risa said in sensual tones, closing in on him like a predator. Sesshoumaru stood tall and resolute, indifference plastered over his face and eyes glaring icily at her. She went around him and slid her hands slowly up the hard wall of his back. He didn’t move. She pressed her large breasts against him and brought her hands around his waist to the front of his trousers.
“Risa. No.” Sesshoumaru said, his voice final and dangerously low. Risa snatched her hands away from him as if he were red hot.
“What is the matter with you, Sesshoumaru?” she hissed, moving to the sofa and seizing her handbag and jacket. Sesshoumaru remained motionless and chose silence as his answer.
“You never used to have a problem fucking me before. What, did you grow a conscience? Spare me. Once we’re married I’ll make sure this won’t be an issue.” She spat and stormed out, slamming the door behind her. Sesshoumaru stared at the door indifferently.
He strode to his bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt on the way, letting it fall on a chair beside his bed. He sat down on the fresh white sheets and propped his elbows on his knees, resting his chin on his interlaced fingers.
“...Once we’re married I’ll make sure this won’t be an issue.”
Risa’s words echoed in his head relentlessly, and for the first time since the beginning if their engagement Sesshoumaru began to question his carefully calculated plan. The disgust he felt for Risa was gradually increasing, and the mere thought of touching her caused him to grit his teeth. He still desired the position of chief and if he refused to marry Risa, her father would resort to any means necessary to prevent him from getting it. Not only would he make Sesshoumaru join the ranks of the unemployed, but he would also be rendered unemployable by any hospital in the country.
Which meant that the engagement had to be followed through.
Automatically, images of the Ayase girl began to take shape in his mind. He recalled the kiss and the natural way it felt, as if he had done it before. He remembered the sweet taste of her soft lips, the warmth of her mouth and the swiftness of her acceptance. So different to Risa’s kisses that only harboured lust and hardness.
The shrill ring of the phone interrupted his thoughts and he reached over to the black bedside table to pick up.
“Yes.”
“Ah, Sesshoumaru, I’m glad I caught you awake.” Came a mature voice from the other end. Sesshoumaru clenched his jaw at the sound of his future father-in-law. Risa must have gone crying to daddy. “Sesshoumaru, Risa’s been telling me she’s not quite happy with how things are going at the moment. I do hope this is temporary, of course?”
“I expect so.” Sesshoumaru answered shortly. The man on the other line chuckled.
“Good to hear. I was beginning to worry that you’d forgotten our little arrangement. You’ve put my mind at ease. Have a good night.” A quiet click meant he had hung up. Sesshoumaru glared at the receiver with utmost distaste and put it in the cradle. He undressed for bed, getting into a cotton t-shirt and grey slacks and lay down, examining his options. Everything he did now lacked meaning, his job, his engagement and his routine. It was strange how many aspects of his life the Ayase girl had disrupted by merely talking to him and spending time with him. It was impossible to ignore the turbulent feelings that she produced in him, no matter how hard he tried to control them and remain coolly indifferent.
He discovered that this distraction was necessary to keep him sane until he could marry Risa. If he finished it now, there was a risk of not following through with the engagement just to avoid Risa and his mundane weeks at the hospital. He begrudgingly accepted that the Ayase girl injected much needed life and brightness into his days and this was something he required in order to keep going until his wedding day and consequent naming as chief of medicine.
It was a good plan. He wasn’t seducing her, nor was he being seduced, it was just a matter of temporary, mutual pleasure. After all, they were both adults. And Risa didn’t need to know, it wasn’t as if he were sleeping with the girl or any such thing.
Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and fell asleep.
The next morning he awoke, hot and very aroused, vaguely recalling remnants of a sensual dream that had been plaguing his nights for a while now. He brought a hand down upon his stiff member, feeling it pulse and he clenched his jaw in irritation. Getting out of bed he removed his white shirt and grey slacks, heading for the shower. His bathroom was much like him, cold and impersonal. He turned on the water in the shower stall, deciding that it was a good idea to take an icy shower to cool himself down.
IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi
The alarm rang and I fell out of bed in surprise. I could have sworn I had only just closed my eyes to sleep and now it was already morning. I groaned, pulling myself up and whacking my alarm clock repeatedly to make it shut up. I felt awful and the day was going to be grey and dreary. Never mind though, nothing a hot shower and piles of makeup couldn’t fix! I usually loved grey days because the air felt so cool with the promise of rain, but last night I’d had so little sleep that the dullness of the atmosphere was sticking to me.
I had so many silly dreams and I’d tossed and turned so much that it felt like I only had about five minutes sleep in total. Thank heavens today was Friday and I could sleep in tomorrow. I went about my morning routine, though a little more sluggishly than usual, but I soon perked up after the shower and my dressing ritual. I loved taking my time putting on my clothes, it felt so relaxing. Feeling the fabric brush against my skin and seeing the final result of the entire process was so satisfying. I’m weird, yes I know.
I picked up my folders and checked my watch. Could I make it in time to grab a bagel or iced bun? I felt a little tingle in my belly as I wondered if I’d bump into Sesshoumaru today. I shook my head and tried not to be so silly, but as I headed out of my apartment building, I went my usual way to the café instead of straight to work as I should have. I wondered if I should speak to my aunt Kumiko about what was going on with Sesshoumaru, a thought that had crossed my mind many times before. But I knew she would go crazy and panic, telling me to end the foolishness at once and apologize to his fiancée. So for the moment, no mentioning the topic to my aunt at all.
I bought an iced bun and took a shortcut through the park as usually, slowing my step...just in case. There was no sight of him anywhere. Oh well, it was bound to happen, and anyway, Reika had said not to go looking for him and here I was, doing the exact opposite. I picked up my stride and bit into my iced bun, stopping dead when I caught a glimpse of a silvery sheen by the duck pond. There was no mistaking that regal posture and gorgeous hair. I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry, my bubbling thoughts chasing themselves around in my head. Should I keep going past him? Should I stop and say hi? After the kiss, things would become so much more awkward, though I doubt I would have less topics of conversation to come up with, being the chatterbox I am.
As though knowing someone was watching him, Sesshoumaru turned around, his piercing amber eyes meeting mine. I realized I was stupidly standing still with an iced bun halfway to my mouth. Flustered, I forced my legs to move and I walked closer. I reached his side and tried to avoid his gaze, opting to look straight ahead at the ducks on the water.
“Didn’t expect to find you here, where’s your usual coffee?” I chirped, trying not to blush as I noticed his eyes never left me.
“I didn’t buy any.” He answered, his deep voice sending pleasant shivers down my spine. “I must go now.”
I turned sharply to look at him, hoping my disappointment wasn’t too obvious. “Oh? That’s a shame, well I know you’re busy and everything. I have to get to work myself.” I smiled. He nodded, his cool eyes staring into mine. I looked away, feeling hot and bothered. Why was he doing that? What was he thinking?
“I’m taking you to dinner tonight. Be ready to leave at eight.” He said in an authoritative tone and he strode away, shoes making crisp, crunching sounds in the gravel and black coat swishing behind him.
If I had a mirror I would have avoided looking into it because I knew what colour my face was at that moment. Dinner? Tonight? Eight?!
That sounded wonderful!
Wait, what? I was...confused. I mean, he’d asked me to dinner before, but this time it was different. We’d shared a kiss, and he seemed...not himself. Why was he standing by the lake? Was he waiting for me? Did he expect me to come to him?
And the most important question of all: did his fiancée know about this? So many things to think and worry about! I felt bad because I didn’t want to betray anyone, but I had such strong feelings for Sesshoumaru that I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to spend time with him. Did that make me a terrible person? What if Reika was right, and he really wasn’t satisfied with his relationship? Was I part of a fling or something deeper?
My head started to ache with all of these ponderings. I did want to take him up on his offer, and I wanted to find out the depth of his feelings for me, if they existed. But I was afraid. I was afraid because....because I was already in love with him and I didn’t know what to do.
IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi
Halfway through a simple procedure in the O.R., Sesshoumaru received a page from Risa. An hour later he finished suturing and left to remove his scrubs, feeling a mild annoyance for his fiancée for interrupting his concentration. He released his long, silver hair from the ponytail and made his way to his office where Risa would inevitably be waiting. And lo and behold, she was.
He entered, plucking his white coat from the hanger and putting it on. Risa was sitting at his desk, arms and long legs crossed.
“What do you want.” Said Sesshoumaru bluntly, folding his arms across his chest and standing firm.
“What I want, Sesshoumaru, is to talk. About our relationship.” Risa stood up and went around her chair, placing her hands on the back for support. Sesshoumaru watched her, waiting. She sighed loudly.
“Sesshoumaru, look, I know we haven’t been getting along lately and it’s clear that neither of us has been making an effort to put things right. I know my father promised you that position and he’s not exactly making it easy for you...and for that matter neither am I. But we have to make this work, at least for the sake of our sanity.”
“This couldn’t have waited until after my shift?” Sesshoumaru asked coldly. Risa rolled her eyes.
“No, it couldn’t wait. When I go to your apartment you want to be alone.”
“You don’t go to my apartment to talk.”
Risa gave him a slow, sensual smile. “I know.” She sauntered up to him and placed a hand on his muscled chest. “Sesshoumaru, you’re the only man I’ve ever wanted. Let’s make this work.”
Sesshoumaru didn’t answer, but he let her kiss him. She left his office, leaving her scent in the air. It was sickeningly sweet, not like the Ayase girl’s fragrance. Lavender.
IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi
Dear me, it was ten to eight and I still wasn’t ready! I had put on a strapless black dress that was cut below the knee with skirts that flowed outwards in layers. I reminded myself of a china doll! I put on my earrings and slipped into my black heels, wobbling for a few moments while I got used to them. I sprayed on just a small amount of perfume and flapped at myself to make it dry quicker, stealing frantic looks at the clock. Five minutes! My insides felt like they were taking part in pro-wrestling, gosh I was so nervous! It wasn’t like the first dinner, where I had convinced myself that nothing would happen. It was more nerve-racking now that something had happened.
I brushed my hair and started to pull it up, when I changed my mind and let it hang loose and natural, clipping up one side using a diamond slide. I applied some lipstick and jumped when I heard the doorbell, my heart giving a loud thump and causing me to drop everything.
“Oh God, oh God, he’s here, oh God!” I whispered to myself madly. I took deep breaths to calm down. I grabbed a shawl and my purse, squaring my shoulders and patting my hair before I walked to the door.
He was a vision. I opened the door and had to swallow my heart down because it had jumped that far up my throat. He looked so handsome in a black silk shirt and black trousers, and I ached inside when I gazed at him. We left the apartment building in silence (I was so overwhelmed, I couldn’t speak) and we got into his car.
“Are we going to the same restaurant as before?” I asked, trying to look ahead and not stare at him.
“No. Somewhere else.” He replied enigmatically and I felt his burning gaze on me. I shivered, trying not to dwell on how warm I was getting. He started the car and I was momentarily distracted by his elegant movements that were so infused by sensuality that it took everything in my power to tear my eyes away.
We reached the restaurant after half an hour on the road (and half an hour of my nervous chatter to try and lighten the mood), and Sesshoumaru got out of the car, signalling to the young valet to open the door on my side. I got out and stared at the restaurant front, which sparkled with minute lights. The name was Firefly, my favourite, favourite, favourite animal. I smiled broadly, feeling as giddy as I had when I was a little girl and caught my first firefly in the garden that summer’s night. I sensed Sesshoumaru by my side, and caught his wonderful fragrance.
“I love fireflies. Ever since I was a child I would chase them in the garden and get all these grass stains on my clothes. While the other girls my age played with Barbies, I ran after insects.” I chuckled, looking up at Sesshoumaru. He didn’t smile or laugh, he just gazed at me with his neutral expression, but somehow I began to feel more at ease and much less awkward, as if he had somehow known that bringing me here would calm me. Though that, of course, was just fanciful thinking.
He had reserved a table near the window and we sat down, receiving menus from the friendly waiter. My eyes roamed around the place, drinking in all the details like the glittering chandeliers and the deep green carpets, the embroidered table cloths and intricately ornamented silverware. There was nature everywhere I looked, fresh green stalks and fragrant flowers decorating the tables. I decided I liked this place much better than the Silver Spoon. I snapped my gaze back to the menu and looked up, startled to find Sesshoumaru watching me above his own menu. He slowly lowered his stare and concentrated on the dishes, leaving me to fight down a creeping blush.
The waiter returned to take our order, shrimp cocktail entrée, baby beef for me and veal for Sesshoumaru followed by blueberry tart for me and something stronger for him. As the waiter scurried off to fulfil his duties, Sesshoumaru rested his chin upon his hands and watched me expectantly. Oh, this man knew me already. I took a sip of the wine that had been previously poured for us, and felt its warming effects, slipping into easy conversation and losing my nervousness. So different from the last time!
I talked about work, my projects, my friends, my aunt...in short, things that would simply bore a man to death. But even though Sesshoumaru just observed me and said nothing, it was clear that he was listening (or acting like it at least), occasionally taking sips from his glass. I made sure to avoid questions about his fiancée, a fact we both noticed and ignored.
“How do you do that?” His question caught me off-guard, mid-chatter.
“Do what?” I asked, feeling slightly flustered under his intense gaze.
“Act so firm and determined. You do realize that life is complicated and requires more than just positive thinking.”
“I know that. But I don’t see why you can’t just enjoy life one day at a time. I don’t understand how some people can live out their days planning out their futures without giving thought to the present, which is what really counts in the long run. And I don’t understand why some can be so negative about things, when they’re really missing the beautiful things that happen around them every single day, like nature and life and the little things. Sure, we all have to die some day but why struggle against nature’s order? It’s better to take it easy, think positively and live every day like it’s a gift. Don’t you think?”
Sesshoumaru didn’t agree or disagree, he simply watched me with the strangest expression. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the waiter bringing our meal.
As we ate, he asked me another question. “I have reason to believe that you’ve experienced loss before?”
I chewed slowly, swallowing hard. “That’s right. It happened when I was eight years old, I was going to act in a school play and my family was supposed to go and see me. They died in a car accident on the way there. My parents and my brother.” Damn, it was still hard to talk about it even after all of these years. “But my aunt took me in and raised me, she’s a wonderful woman and the only family member I have left. How...how about you? You mentioned before that you lost your mother. I mean you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. One minute of silence for yes and two for no.” I grinned, trying to take the solemnity out of the conversation. His eyes flickered upwards to meet mine and I had no idea whether he was amused or not.
“She died of breast cancer when I was young. My father remarried soon after.” He said, tone neutral. I put down my fork.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I suppose she was a great inspiration for you, since you commented that she was a surgeon.”
“Yes, she was.”
And that was all I could get out of him. I wasn’t frustrated this time, I had begun to discover something. A man like him stuck to precision and perfection and couldn’t allow his emotions to meddle with his life. It wasn’t that he was refusing to share parts of himself with others because of dislike or lack of trust, it was more like he had built a wall to protect himself from anything that would disrupt his perfectly calculated life. I was starting to understand him. That knowledge alone made me want to reach out to him and teach him there was much more to life than plans and routine.
I wanted to continue talking to him and see what else I could learn but the evening was drawing to a close and I found myself being driven back home. Unlike the last ‘date’, I was content and slightly dizzy from the wine, feeling at peace in Sesshoumaru’s presence for the very first time. I would sense his eyes on me at random moments but I was too giddy to worry about it, rather, I revelled in the attention.
He accompanied me to my apartment and I turned to say goodnight, this time making sure he was at an appropriate distance when I did. But it seemed he had other intentions. Before I could speak a word, he moved closer and captured my lips in a hot, slow and sensual kiss that threatened to make my legs give way from under me. I felt his hand at my waist, sliding around and pressing the small of my back, his other hand cradling the back of my head and pushing my face closer to his. My heart beat wildly and I brought my arms around his neck, drawing him in. He was such a contradiction, such a hard and cold man but so capable of soft, melting kisses that could seduce any woman.
Our mouths separated gently as we ran out of air. I could feel his warm breath against my lips and I stared into his beautiful amber eyes. I swallowed and was the first to speak.
“I think, Sesshoumaru, that you owe me some sort of explanation for this.” I smiled, still feeling dazed.
“Yes.” He replied, his gaze turbulent. There was a pause.
“But you’re not going to give me one, are you?”
“No.” He said in husky tones and lowered his hot mouth to mine. This time the kiss was much more passionate and held a greater sense of urgency.
“You’re beautiful.” He said against my mouth and I melted, having never heard anyone say such a thing to me in my entire life. With his tongue he persuaded my lips to part and as I accepted, he plunged inside, pushing against my tongue. He pressed his hard body against mine and I responded in turn, tightening my hold around his neck and releasing just the tiniest of moans.
He broke away suddenly and released me, placing his hands against the doorframe as if to steady himself. He straightened and cleared his throat. I tidied myself up the best I could, my eyes lowered to the ground, avoiding him.
“Goodnight.” He told me, his voice deeper than usual. I nodded, too breathless to reply. I watched him leave, his broad back and swaying silver hair disappearing from sight into the darkness. My hands trembled as I tried to fit the key into the lock but I managed it, opening the door and switching on the lights.
There was no way I would be getting any sleep tonight after what just happened.
- 10
- 11
- 12
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A Glass Half Full