Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Rise Of The Shikon Miko	By : golden_eyes_hypnotize Category: InuYasha AU/AR > Het - Male/Female Views: 2628 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters herein. I make no money by this writing. This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real people is all in your head.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Chapter 11

“Tell me, miko,” he stopped mid-sentence when he felt her stiffen beside him. “You find fault with that title?”

Sighing, she explained, “Yes, I do. Aside from my abilities to sense demonic youki and auras, I have no purification or healing power. My mother has told me that when I was growing inside her, that she could feel unbelievable amounts of power flowing from me and after I was born and she held me in her arms, she felt it even more so. But after they brought me home, it just petered out and eventually went away. Even Gramps had no idea what happened and he’s been a monk at our shrine all his life. So, you see, since I have no power, I could never train as a miko. I am a disappointment to my family for so many reasons and that’s just one of them.”

Railing against her sudden negativity, he said, “Surely your family would not think so of you.”

“My mother had hopes of me following in her footsteps, training as a miko healer and becoming a nurse. Instead, I have no power and chose what she considers a frivolous occupation: music. I graduated from high school two years early but that wasn’t good enough. I practiced until my cheeks were limp and my throat was sore and got accepted to the Royal Academy of Music in London on a full scholarship that even included my room and board and she complained about the air fare. I toured with the London Philharmonic and saw almost all of Europe while getting paid and my mother asked why I was second chair and not first.   I came back here to continue my career and my face fell and my mother said, ‘Now what are you going to do? Where’s that music degree gotten you but unemployed and deformed.’” She heaved a heavy sigh and continued, quieter, “And don’t even get me started on what she thinks about my gross failure with personal relationships. Don’t get me wrong, my mom loves me in her own way, but we’ve only recently started getting along. It’s just an unspoken rule that if I don’t want to feel her disapproval, I only tell her good things.”

He could smell her unshed tears and raged at hearing how yet another person had injured her. Continued to injure her, if her reaction was any indication. He acted superior because he was superior. Outside of his family, he knew those of true value were scarce. Most were vile, ignorant, hurtful, unfeeling creatures who acted without honor and he wanted nothing to do with them. A thought occurred to him and he asked, “How were your seventh and ninth cranial nerves damaged?”

Turning her face to the window, she answered quietly and clinically, “It’s Bell’s palsy.” At his nod she continued, “I know for most people, it’s just a temporary thing, but for those unlucky few, and that would aptly describe me in almost any situation, the damage it causes is permanent. I went to physical therapy and speech therapy for months. They used an electrode wand to shock my face to stimulate the muscles so they wouldn’t atrophy and it hurt like hell but when there was no improvement, the insurance company stopped paying so I stopped going.”

Deciding it was time someone told her, he broached, “Kagome, has anyone it ever occurred to you that you may be cursed?”

Laughing sardonically, thinking he was joking with her, she replied, “Absolutely! My therapist says I have a ‘persecution complex’ because I think the gods are punishing me.”

Pouncing on the sincerity she expressed with that statement, he asked, “What could you possibly have done for which you feel you are being punished so thoroughly?”

“I…” She was scared. She’d never told anyone her deepest shame and it ate at her inside. For some reason—she had no idea why because it was Inuyasha she was close with—she’d just met Sesshoumaru, really—but for some reason, she felt like it would be ok to tell him. She could feel him reaching out with his aura giving her the feeling of being held in the safest place she’d ever been. She glanced at him, but he kept his eyes on the road and she was glad of it. Somehow she knew if he looked at her, she wouldn’t be able to do this. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before she continued quietly, “Since there are no secrets in your family, I suppose you know about my father?” After a short pause, he nodded. “Well, I’m being punished because…” Another deep breath. “I’m being punished because sometimes…sometimes I liked it.”

…………….

Sesshoumaru was at a loss. What could the girl have done to feel so guilty? It was rolling off her in waves despite his attempts to soothe her with his aura. He knew instinctively not to look at her, not to say anything until she had said what she needed to say. He continued giving her silent comfort, willing her to know she could tell him anything. When she asked if he knew about that monster that was her father, his blood boiled with rage. Of course it would have to do with him. Struggling not to growl aloud and startle her, he finally managed to nod. Nothing could have prepared him for what he felt when she finally told him the cause of a lifetime of inner turmoil. There were not words to describe the fiend. He purposely used her body against her to hurt her further. In her innocence, she had blamed herself for the natural reactions of her body. Crimson swirled in his eyes as his beast demanded blood. Reasoning, repeatedly, that his prey was not to be found in this car and that his chosen needed him, he finally managed to subdue his primal self. Checking his blind spot and signaling, the daiyoukai crossed three lanes of traffic and took the off-ramp to the right.

He was looking for something. She had no idea what. When she imagined what his reaction to her confession would be, this would never have come to mind. Since she had no idea what to say, she kept quiet. When he pulled in to a park and parked the car in front of a vacant playground, she was so baffled she almost forgot the last 10 minutes.

He came around the car and opened her door. She unclicked her seatbelt and looked up at him in confusion. His expression wasn’t giving her any clues, but he held his hand out to her. She took it, rising. He closed the car door and the alarm system chirped as he locked the car. It was cold outside, the breeze still. He kept his grip on her hand, leading her to the swing set and sat down on a low swing. He tugged her hand, trying to get her to sit on his lap and she balked, “No.”

His brows came together and he tugged once more saying, “Come here.”

“No.”

“Kagome, you will sit.”

“No, I will not.” Acutely uncomfortable, she explained, “Sesshoumaru, do you not realize how heavy I am? I’m not sitting on you.” She tried to pull her hand back, but he was unyielding. She had no idea what had come over the daiyoukai, but she would not be sitting on him no matter what he had in mind.

Looking deeply into befuddled eyes, he insisted, “Kagome. First, I am a demon and your weight is nothing to me. Second, and most importantly, you are in need of comfort and this Sesshoumaru will see that you have it.” Instantly tears sprung to her eyes and he continued gently, “Come.” And he tugged her suddenly limp body into his hold, pulling her left leg around so she straddled him, he cradled her head by the nape of her neck as he wrapped his other arm around her body. He erected a barrier to warm her against the winter chill. Tears were falling freely now but silently. He nuzzled her face with his own and at the tender contact she broke down. He held her tightly as her body was wracked with sobs, surrounding her with his aura and creating a purring growl in his throat to soothe her.

Kagome was overcome by the unreality of the situation. Here she was bawling her eyes out on the lap of the most powerful, most beautiful creature on the planet who was notorious for being cold and stoic who sat on a swing—of all things—rocking her while purring at her. Clearly, she was still back in the car having a mental breakdown. She had hallucinated before. Just never this vividly. She was going to need so much chocolate when she finally woke up.

But it felt so real. Would her mind supply so many details? Probably not. Ok, so she was crying on the great and powerful Sesshoumaru’s lap on a swingset in the middle of winter but for some reason her fragile mindset couldn’t determine, she’s perfectly warm. She had completely broken down in tears when it had clicked in her head just how thoughtful and caring it was abandoning their destination to hurry to this peaceful place where he could simply hold her. Sesshoumaru wanted to hold her. In his lap. While she cried. He was accepting her and taking care of her despite her telling him her horrible secret. It was the single most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her and she knew she would remember it for the rest of her life. But, of course, he didn’t mean it like that. He was trying to be a friend to her. So she let him.

As her sobbing started to quiet, Sesshoumaru started stroking her glorious fall of curls. Though he had always, justifiably, thought his own hair unparalleled, he had to admit that Kagome’s was truly without equal. He had never even met a demoness with such locks as hers.   Softer than the finest silk, it fell in perfect, thick spirals down to her hips and he buried his face in the hair at her temple, breathing in her sweet scent.

When she took a deep breath, he pulled back and looked in her reddened, swollen eyes that were somehow even bluer in their abused condition. That was his miko: battered and bruised but her goodness shone through all the brighter in contrast. He knew his next words would not be met well, but she needed to hear them before she could begin to heal. “Kagome, it was not your fault and just because your body reacted does not mean you liked it.”

She pulled back from him, shaking her head slightly. As she took a breath to argue he continued, “Kagome, you are an intelligent woman and you work in emergency services. You have seen rape victims. This Sesshoumaru knows what your father told you and that you believe it, but think: if a rape victim was ashamed because her body reacted, what would you say to her?”

Shaking her head and trying to push back from him, she argued, “But that’s different! Of course it’s not their fault. But it was different for me. He was my daddy and I loved him!” ‘It was my fault…’

“Kagome, when did he start touching you?”

Disarmed, she answered quietly, “I don’t remember. But he liked to tell me about it. He said it was as soon as they brought me and mom home from the hospital. As soon as she fell asleep.”

As she confirmed his worst fears, he knew he had to continue, “Kagome, this Sesshoumaru knows you still love him despite what he did to you—no, don’t deny it, I believe you are the kind of person that loves forever, no matter what, that every person you’ve ever loved still has a place in your heart, no matter how they treated you.” He watched her eyes fall to his chest as she nodded, ashamed, knowing she saw this as a weakness. “When you love someone, you want to think the best about them, do you not agree?” When she nodded again he continued, “Do you not see that you’ve been placing the fault for his actions on yourself and not on him, out of misplaced love for your father?”

“No! It’s not like that that at all!—Just ask Inuyasha! I hate him for what he did to me! It has followed me my whole life and I’ll never be free of it!” She started struggling against his hold. She didn’t know what he was getting at but she had had enough of this conversation.

The daiyoukai held her fast with one arm, the other cupping the side of her face. “And yet you still believe that you are at fault. You truly blame your infant self, your toddler self, your child self, your teenage self, because that monster told you that you seduced him and that the proof that you wanted it was your body’s unwilling response. You think you are weak, that you are a monster because you interpret a natural response to stimulation as proof of your guilt.” She was tiring from her struggles, and he pressed on, gently, “Kagome, have you never considered that he desired exactly that result? He purposely mixed in pleasure with his crime and sought to remind you of it to bind you to him, to shame you into keeping your silence, to cause you lasting pain. Do you not see this, Kagome?”

She had stilled and looked up at him with eyes full of pain. No, it never had occurred to her. No matter what he did, he was still her daddy so he had to love her.

He watched the play of emotions on her face and asked, “Kagome, did your father repeat certain phrases to you over the years?”

Her brows drew together in confusion but she replied, “Yes. He always said the same things: that I was worthless, that I belonged to him, that no one would ever want me or love me after what he had done to me. He used to repeat it like a mantra when he….” Her eyes fell back to his chest.

Cuddling her close, he stroked her cheek with the thumb of his hand on her face. “Kagome,” When she looked up he continued, “If you had been instructed in the ways of the miko, you would have learned about curses. You would have learned that the strongest of those are done over years, with constant contact with the victim, with repeated phrases.” He waited as comprehension dawned in her horrified eyes. “Hn. You are under a curse.”

………………………………..
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Rise Of The Shikon Miko