Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

M.I.A	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Kouga/Kagome Views: 4873 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
A/N: Hi guys! Sorry, I went on a mini vacation of wild camping, and I came back a little under the weather, but I'm a lot better now. Updates are resuming!
M.I.A
Chapter 11: Ain't That a Shame
"What the fuck Kagome? WHAT THE FUCK?"
Instinctively, she covered her son's ears from his words. This was not supposed to happen. He was not supposed to find out. They were supposed to fuck and he was supposed to leave. That was how it was supposed to go down. This was all bad, this was all wrong. She could not even think of a lie to come up with - how could she? There was no way that she had found another youkai to fuck in so little time. He would not believe it. And he would ask to see where he is. She could not lie, she could not get out of this. Everything inside of her was screaming for her to take her son and run. How could this be her life?
She kept her hands over Haru's ears, her heart thundering in her chest. She was frozen in place; in the game of flight or fight, she was losing. She was doing neither. She could not.
Kouga took a step forward, putting his hand on her shoulder. This kid was not his son. He did not have kids. He could not have kids. He had already fucked up enough by marking her - he sure as fuck was not making no kid. Nope, he had not. This was - this was fucked up. There was another explanation. There was something else to the story that he was missing. If she could just fucking talk, she could tell him what it was. He hated it. He hated her in this moment. He yanked her, forcing her to look at him.
His action forced her to let go of her son and as soon as she did, Miyu rushed to Haru's side. She protectively wrapped her arms around him, keeping him close to her chest.
"He ain't my kid."
She wanted that to be the absolute truth. Of course she did not want him to be his son. She only wanted Haru to be her son.
"He's not your kid," she whispered.
"What the fuck Kagome?"
He let go of her shoulder and ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up, his ponytail nearly coming undone. "What the fuck?" He had seen her. For days. He had seen the kid. She never said anything. She never told him that it was his. She never - she never said anything. If this had not happened he would have never known. He wanted to go back to that time. He wanted to go back to a time where he did not have a fucking kid that he did not fucking want. That life was not for him. This kid was not for him.
He did not want him.
He did not even want him to exist.
For fuck's sake he could not even look at the fucking kid anymore.
"You didn't fucking tell me."
She scoffed. If she had been shocked before, her newfound rage was bringing her back to life. "I didn't fucking tell you?" She blinked. "You fucking chased me out." She took a step in his direction and poked him in the chest. He disliked being touched? Well, she was going to make him as uncomfortable as possible. "And you told me it was safe." If he had not been such a man, if he had not been such an ass, it would not have happened. He said it was safe, he convinced her in a moment of weakness that it was okay. She should have known better of course, but she had trusted his nose. He had lied to her, he had led her into a sense of false security. And now? Her life was different.
She threw her arms up in the air. "Was I supposed to call you?" She twisted her mouth. "Oh wait, can't do that." She tapped her chin, annoyed. "Mm, maybe I should have flied over to you, you know." She poked him in the chest again. "Why the fuck do you care? You didn't want kids. Your life didn't change. I didn't ask anything from you. MY LIFE IS DIFFERENT. MY LIFE IS UPSIDE DOWN!"
"Mommy?"
Fuck. This was not what she wanted to say. This was not what she meant to say and certainly not in front of her son. Fuck. He was wanted, she loved him. On top of that - she had just burned him and now she was shouting. He was confused and she was ignoring him. She was ignoring him for a man who never gave a crap about her.
"I need you to leave," she said as she turned around to face her son. "You didn't know about him before. Pretend you still don't know." She wrapped her arms around Haru, taking him away from her mother. "We don't need you, we don't want you." She tucked him against her chest, his head under her chin. "Come on, baby."
She prayed he would not follow her, she prayed he would disappear from existence. Her whole body was trembling, her stomach was upset and she wanted to throw up. If she could think of a worse nightmare, she could not. This was it. This was everything she had feared for the last few years. And now it was here. She had to believe he could walk away. He walked away from her, he could walk away from Haru. He himself had said that being a father was not appropriate for him. Even he understood that he was not meant to have that life.
It was better if he let them be.
It was better if he walked away from them.
She heard no sounds, no voices coming from him as she rushed towards the shrine. All she could hear behind her was the footsteps of her mother who was following closely behind. She did not ask questions and she was quite grateful for it. Her son was though; he was asking for his mommy. But for now, she would have to ignore his cries.
She had to get to the safety of the shrine.
-M-
There was not enough alcohol in the world to make him forget.
And he did not have enough money to buy enough alcohol to momentarily forget either.
He was stuck remembering. He had watched her walk away and he had stood there for over an hour. He had been torn between going after and disappearing forever. He had liked the second option but in the end, he had never gone through with it. Instead, he had found a bar, one where he had not caused a wreck, and he had ordered as much alcohol as he could. He was really broke now. He had nothing. But it did not matter as long as he had a nice honey colored liquid burning his throat. It was all he wanted. More and more of it. He knew his speech was slurred by now, but his mind was not numb to the new knowledge.
Which fucking sucked because he had run out of money and he had been forced to leave the bar.
He could have stayed and stole some alcohol but - it would have simply gotten him in even more trouble than he already was and honestly he could not afford it. If he ended up in jail, there would be too many questions.
Instead, he opted for roaming the streets of Tokyo. Maybe he could hit on a chick. He could bang her real quick. And then, he would have a place to stay for the night. Then again, he was not so sure about banging a chick. Apparently the possibility of it resulting into a kid was probable. He had been so sure it was safe. Had he not sniffed her afterwards? Had he been too reckless from the alcohol and the need for pain? He did not know. Fuck, he could not even remember. He had been fucking drunk a lot when she was around. The days kind of blurred in together.
But if he had known…
It was one fuck up after another with her. First he marked her, then he got her pregnant.
And she fucking just - she never came back.
Then again, she was not wrong. It did make him angry but she was not wrong. He had chased her away. And he lived miles away. There was no way to know and there was no way for her to tell him. But it did not matter; he hated her for it. He hated her for the decision she took. She chose to have his kid live and be someone. Why could she not get rid of it? He smelled her; she reeked of men. And he had smelled the alcohol. She was not fit to be a mother. She might be less fucked up than he was - but… she could not be a mother to a kid that was his. That kid was bond to turn bad.
He tried to remember what the kid looked liked but he could not.
He could not remember his son's face. To be fair, he had not known he was his son when he last looked at him. How was he supposed to guess? He was not supposed to have kids - especially not with her. Then again it was clearly proven that he was reckless when it came to her. He had marked her - and now impregnated her. At least now he understood why she so violently pushed him out of her as he was finally reaching his release - and he was glad she had. One kid was already an annoyance he had to get rid of - he did not need two of that.
How was he going to go on?
How could he live knowing that kid existed?
Youkais existence was no longer a safe thing. This kid would never be safe. That kid would suffer and if anyone found out - he would pay the price. It was not worth it to live a life where - life was not a life. He would have to hide all the time. He did not even know how Kagome had managed to mask who he was. It was probably something awful. It was no way to live.
He could not let this go on.
Unsurprisingly, his drunken walking had gotten him right back to the start; the shrine. It was where all of his problems were and it was where he had to fix it. He could not possibly go back to his life without dealing with this.
Wait.
Why not?
He did not know about the kid until now. He was not even his responsibility. Why did he care if the kid's life was shit? He did not ask to have this kid. Kagome did it all by herself. She took all the decision. It was not his fault the kid was stuck with a mother who made bad calls. He could not let himself get wrapped up in this. The kid was going to suffer - and… that was the way life worked. It was pain and suffering for everyone. What else could he do to lessen it? He could not kill the kid; Kagome would never let him. She would purify him to death before he could even think about it.
This kid would live and suffer - no matter what.
Why preoccupy himself with a situation he did not have anything to do with? He might have gotten her pregnant but she was the one who chose to keep it.
Yes, it was not his problem.
He could walk away from it all and drink until he forgot it was real.
Except - he had tried. And every time his heart began to beat, it reminded him that there was a soul out there that had a part of him inside of it. And he fucking hated it. And he fucking hated her for doing this to him. She had no right to make him even more miserable.
And yet he was staring at her fucking window. There she was, on the second floor with the light still on and it annoyed him. His steps were loud as he climbed his way to the top of the stairs. He followed the light, his glance never wavering. He could not wait for her to come to him again. He had to go to her. He could not use the front door; the house had too many people in it. He would have to settle for something else; the window. He grabbed the ledge and slowly climbed his way up, grateful that he could not be seen by any neighbours. Once he reached his destination, he gently tapped the window. He leaned his heavy head on the cool glass and waited.
After a moment, her face appeared but she was less than pleased.
Regardless, she opened the window, nearly causing him to fall down. "You have to leave," she said in a hushed voice. She only opened the window by fear that he would make even more noise. It had taken forever for her to calm her son down and she did not want to do it again. The poor thing was so confused and hurt that he had cried and his poor body had trembled. She had spent hours trying to soothe his wounds away. On top of it all, he had tried to find out who the man was. And she never let the truth slip her. "Why can't you leave us alone?"
She had thought her life was a mess before, but it turned out that it was perfect. Now it was a mess. Because of him. It was always because of him.
"Why?"
She scrunched up her nose. "How fucking wasted are you?" His eyes were glossy, his gaze unfocused and he was leaning against the side of the house.
He was not fucking wasted enough. "Why?"
"Why what?" she snapped back.
"Why did you keep it?"
"He's not an IT!"
He was youkai and that made it an it. Plus Kouga did not want to give it too much identity - he would make it even more real. He wanted to be detach from it because he wanted it to be easy to walk away. He was going to walk away - this was only a minor set back. The news had hit harder than expected and with everything else than happened, he did not know how to deal. He never knew how to deal. This did not help that current problem.
"He's my son and he's real."
"Your son?"
"Yes, my son." She poked her head through the window, closing the space between them. "He will never be your son. You will never be anything to him. And he will never know you."
He should be offended by her words, he should be defending himself but he could not. After all, was she not speaking the truth? A truth that they both wanted? He did not want to play in part in his life and she did not want him to play any part in his life. It was a win-win for the both of them. He should accept that truth and find some way to get home. It would be the end of the story.
"Why don't you leave?" Fighting. It was all they did. They did it when she first found him again and they were doing it since he stepped foot in Tokyo. She barely had enough energy to get through her day, to raise her son and now he was taking everything out of her. And yet, there was something about being close to him. Something that tuned off a need in her. It made no sense; the proper reaction was to want to be away from him - not close to him.
"I can't leave," he slurred.
She arched an eyebrow. "Why not?" And his answer could not be 'because my son is here', or she was going to lose her shit. She would do whatever it took to show him that he did not belong in this life.
"No money," he said with a shrug of the shoulders. To be honest, he did not expect to drink this much.
"Are you fucking kidding me? You drank it all away?" She knew he had a problem, that was no surprise but… he blew all of his money away? Surely he did not want to stay here. He wanted to go back to his lonely life in the woods. And now he was stuck here, nearly sleeping by her window. It had to be some kind of fucking joke. Why was life this cruel to her? Why could she not catch a break?
"Well, you had my son," he pointed out with tight lips. If she had not told him, if she had kept it a better secret, he would have been able to leave. Instead, he had to process the news the only way he knew how.
"My son," she corrected. "I told you, he isn't your son - and he never will be."
"Yea, yea," he dismissed her with a wave of the hand. "Do you think I want it? I don't," he pointed out. "That kid is gonna be fucking miserable and he's gonna suffer. Then you can handle that shit." She was not going to like raising someone like him. She was going to hate it.
In that moment, she wished he was normal. She wished she was normal. She could ask him all the questions she needed to ask him. She could find out everything she needed to know about her son. But he was Kouga and he was fucked up and she wanted him as little involved as possible. Already the fact that he knew about Haru's existence and their bond was too much. She would spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder now. But, it was the price had to pay for her mistakes.
"If I give you money… you'll leave?" She did not have money. She did not have any extra - but she would find some if that meant getting rid of him forever. She never wanted to see him again. She wanted to help getting him away from her son.
He wanted to say yes - both because it was the easiest solution and because it was what he wanted. The problem was, he did not know how easily he could walk away from her. He could tell her - he could tell her he fucked up and he bit her. But - considering how she was reacting to his presence… he did not think it was the way to go about this. Plus, did he truly want her to know they were linked in more ways than one? No. He did not. He wanted her to be able to forget him like he wanted to be able to forget him.
Then again, it seemed she would be trapped in the same hell he was for the rest of her life.
But hers would be shorter than his. Longer than a human - but shorter than his. Her pain would not drag on forever. He could let her live it, could he not? At least it appeared that she had a distraction that would keep her focused away from him. It was actually good. The boy made her want nothing to do with him. Was it not what he wanted? … But she had easily given into him earlier when he had fucked her. She had let him take her like it was nothing, like she had been waiting for him forever.
"Yes."
It was maybe the truth, maybe a lie. He could no longer tell the difference.
The only thing he was convinced of was that the effects of the alcohol was rubbing off and he hated it. He did not want one brain cell to be sober. He did not want to think about this, he did not want to imagine this.
Most of all, he did not want to see that blue eyes boy again. He was a boy. He was not his son.
He was not a dad. He could not be one.
"Come back in a few days," she ordered. "I'll have money for you." She was not a bank and her own bank account was near empty. She would have to figure out something, but she would. She did not care what she had to sacrifice to have him out of her life. He was dangerous for her son and he was dangerous for her. Now that he had taken her very recently, she could feel a familiar tingle traveling through her. For the first time in years, she had experienced pleasure. He had managed to light her body on fire and it was shuddering with need now. She needed more of him, more of his body and more of his cock.
He could make her forget all that she wanted to forget.
The only problem was… he was what she was trying to forget.
-M-
There were grunts, there were moans. Although none of them were coming from her.
Kagome was silently riding her boss' cock, her hands holding on to his shoulders. He always liked her - he always tried to date her. Of course, never in a million years would she date him. Fucking him also had been out of desperation. It began when her son had been very young. Her mother and her had been low on money, bills kept pilling up and they could not see the end of it. She had cried at work and it was then that her boss found her. He had gently sat her in his office, he had offered her a tissue and he had let her vent out. She had not meant to share it all with him, but she had been quite upset at the time - and sober.
He had offered some help, some money.
The bank was never an option for them. They had too much debts and not enough to offer. They always said no. What her boss Akio offered her was a loan - one that she could get through him. Of course, it had all begun with her showering him with gratitude. She had even tried to turn it down at first, explaining that she could not possibly accept that from him. But he had insisted that he could help her. She had been desperate, and she had thanked him. It was then that he brought up the payment plans. He knew how much she made and he knew it was not much. She thought he would either offer her a high interest rate - or perhaps a rather short time to pay it.
No.
In exchange for the money, she would fuck him.
It was not much of a loan. It was basically just prostitution. She would suck his cock, fuck him until he emptied his balls and she would have the money. After the deal was struck she imagined it was his way of getting his power back. She had turned him down, no matter how desperately he had wanted to go out with her and he had finally found a way to get his revenge. Not only he would get to fuck her but it would be with him having all of the power. His ego would be safe. She should have said no. She should have had more standards than that but… they had needed the money and… she would have fucked someone anyways.
And so, she had sex with him for the money.
He was not often at work, she did not have to see him all the time. And it worked. Once a while, if she was in a really bad situation, she would do it again. It had happened about two or three times. She tried to limit it because she knew how much he got off on it.
But now, desperate times called for desperate measures.
Also, this was for her too.
She did not want Kouga to be the last person she had sex with - she could not handle that. For the first time in years, pleasure had filled her body and despite how wrong it was it had felt so right. She needed it, she craved it. She decided to chase away with the memories with someone else's body. Of course, it would never feel as good but perhaps it could mute away the feel of Kouga's warm body. And maybe it was the make him angry. He was trying to own her, he was trying to prove that if he wanted her he could have her. Of course, he had. But regardless. She wanted to show him she could move on, she could fuck someone else and he would not even bother her.
"Move your hips," he grunted as he clammed down his clammy hands on her hips. Her shirt was rising, slightly exposing her stomach while she moved up and down his cock faster.
It was never him banging her senseless against the desk. It was always her riding him in his chair. To be fair, she did not think he had the energy to fuck her senseless. He was much older than she was; somewhere in his late forties she assumed. And she knew he enjoyed every moment of this. He was not mean but he was not exactly her type. He had begun losing his hair on top of his head, which she assumed was a shame because what he had left was still a dark black and very luscious. His body shape on the other hand, had gone down hill. Or maybe it was never that in shape to begin with… he had a gut and beginning of breasts. He always sweated a lot when they fucked, dampening spots forming on his shirt each time.
But she ignored it all.
She was not doing it for the pleasure.
She was not doing it to satisfy her weird cravings.
She was doing it to survive and she was doing it to prove a point.
She slammed down hard on him, her insides only wet because of the motions and not because of the pleasure she was not really receiving. She wanted it to be over. One more thrust, one more slide down - and then she felt it. He twitched inside of her and emptied himself inside of the condom. Something she would never, ever forget to put on with him. God forbid she got pregnant from him. It was also why it was always her condoms they were using. She did not trust him enough to believe he would not pierce one if he could. He would think it would be the perfect way to lock her down and trap her with him forever.
She did not want that. She would not even keep that child.
And she had kept Kouga's child… it was saying a lot.
Once she knew his orgasm was over, she dismounted herself from him. He remained leaning back in his chair while she bent over to retrieve her underwear, before slipping them back on. She pulled down on her skirt, as though nothing had happened and she looked at him. Sweat beads were dripping down the side of his face while he panted. He lifted an arm and used his sleeve to wipe the sweat buildup on his forehead. Once he realized she was looking at him, he offered her a small shrug. "Your envelope is on your desk."
"Thank you," she said, relief washing over her.
This was a transaction.
This was what she had become.
As she turned around to leave, she felt his hand on her ass. A last squeeze. It occurred to her to be disgusted with herself for a moment - but she stopped before she even let herself go down that road. What was the point? She was doing what she had to do to survive and to provide for her family. And now, she was protecting her family. She was already damaged goods, it did not matter how far she pushed it as long as she prevented her son from feeling her pain. She did not want him to know how cruel and painful reality was.
She walked away, intact.
-M-
"What the fuck did you do?"
"W-what?"
She was standing in front of him, in broad daylight, with the envelope in her hand. She was handing it out to him, but he was not taking it from her. She could see the twitch of his nose and she could guess what he was referring to but she did not want to be the one to say it out loud. She had changed her clothes, she had showered but she knew that was not enough for someone with his nose. He knew, he could tell that she had been touched by another man. His rage was her victory although it could quickly go south on her if it made him lose it. The point was still to get rid of him - not to force him to stay and assert dominance over her.
Because he had none.
She might enjoy fucking him and he might make her body sing, but it was as far as it went. Everything else was off limits and she much preferred her life without him in it.
Sometimes, she wondered how the old Kouga would have felt about this. Having her, having a kid with her. He wanted nothing more. And she wanted nothing less. And yet, now everything was screwed. They were so far from being the people they used to be that she hardly thought it was ever possible to go back to being that. She could not be reckless, ignorant and fuelled by adventure. She could however keep on sacrificing herself for the ones she loved. And he could not be cocky, light hearted and proud - because he wanted to die.
Those people were dead. And shells were left in their places.
"What the fuck did you do?" he repeated.
It was an odor that had lingered around but the closer she got to him, the harder it had been to deny it. And now? Now, he wanted to rip someone's throat out. It was not like last time where he could smell it but it was not exactly fresh. This was very fresh - this was recent. He had just covered her body with his scent and she covered it with someone's else. A beast roared inside of him and it was hard to control the instincts that were surging to the surface. She was not supposed to so casually fuck someone after they fucked. She was not supposed to get satisfaction from someone else's cock. He knew he had satisfied her. Why had she sought out someone else so quickly after?
"I did what you made me do."
If he was going to make her seem like the bad guy, then she was going to put the blame where it belonged; on him. He thrusted her into this life without any regards. He let her leave and now her life was more than she could handle. She was doing her best to scramble the pieces and make a life with what she had. And now, he was demanding things out of her, things that she could not give. He had no right to judge her.
"You wanted money, I got you money," she clarified when he looked at her with confused blue orbs.
He blinked once, then twice, the meaning of her words sinking in. He felt something in the pit of his stomach twist and he wanted to vomit. "So you're a whore now?"
And it took barely a second for her to react. Her hand made contact with his face and they both felt the sting from it. Her because his flesh was hard and sturdy and him because of the faint pink light coming from her fingers.
"You don't get to call me that." She said, her body trembling from the rage that inhabited her. "You're a child, you're irresponsible and you cannot take care of yourself. So you came here, drunk with no money. I fixed it for you. I fixed it because you can't do anything. You forced me to find a way to kick you out of my life, so I did." She scoffed. "And you're the last person who gets to call me a whore." Before she had showed up to his little house, he had been whoring himself around.
He did not get to judge her. He was in no position to pass judgment on anybody.
She was his and she was giving her body around like it meant nothing. Of course it meant nothing to her, he had to be rational. He had to think this through. He could not be reckless.
"Then don't be a whore."
"I said y-"
"You're mine."
She arched an eyebrow. "Are you fucking kidding me? I don't belong to you. I don't belong to anybody."
No, she did not understand - and he did not want her to understand. But his blood was pumping, his rage was flying off and he was crisping his hands into fists, desperate to punch something. She was not a thing. He was not a thing. And he could not - she was not… ugh.
"You belong to me." His voice was different, lower. "I made you mine." His fingers trailed along her neck, tapping the mark. He wished he could rip that thing away. He wished he could snap her neck and be done with this hell but he could not. His fingers were trembling, his mouth was like cotton and he was doing his best to hold his urges. He wanted to rip her clothes and cover her again with his scent.
This was wrong.
"You -"
He made her his because he fucked her? Kagome felt him touch her neck, touch that spot where the scar never healed and - oh god. The scar that never healed.
"Kouga, what did you do?"
"I made a mistake. I made a fucking mistake."
Then, there was a gust of wind. When Kagome's hair finally blew away from her face, she found herself staring into emptiness. Also, the envelope she had been holding was gone.
He took the money and left.
And he - he had fucked up? She clamped a hand over her neck while tears stung her eyes.
Was she ever going to be free of him?
-M-
- 10
- 11
- 12
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

M.I.A