Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Thank You
By : drake220
Category: InuYasha > General
Views: 17174 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
A/N: This is not the last chapter!! Also, sorry it took so long. Hopefully it
was worth the wait!
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CHAPTER ELEVEN
Resolution

What have I become, my sweetest friend?
Everyone I know goes away in the end.
-Nine Inch Nails, �Hurt�

A figure walked alone along a
riverbank. His head was downcast and anyone could see that weighty matters were
on his mind. Not so idly kicking a rock from his path, Inuyasha wondered and
contemplated the last few years. Examining the faces she had made, the words and
gestures she had used that now seemed less insignificant, he sighed deeply.
Could it have been prevented if he had paid more attention?
Would the situation have been
better if he had forced his points through?
Blowing out a breath, he wished
vehemently he had never met Miyouga by the Goshinboku. Why the hell did the stupid old flea have to say stuff like that? �Why
wouldn�t things change?� �An adult evolves and sometimes leaves things behind.�
�It is an unfortunate but a true, common circumstance.� Bullshit!
Except that it wasn�t.
�What a mess�,� he whispered into
the air. �What a fuck up of everything I wanted.� What do I do now?
Slowly and methodically kicking the
rock, he never paused or faltered as he made his way to his unrealized
destination.
The question was, was there
anything left to save? Or, Inuyasha admitted to himself, could what was left be
saved?
00000000000000000000000000
Kagome wandered back to her home
slowly, her thoughts jumbled and confused.
�Is
it enough?�
Sighing heavily, she raised her
hand to block her eyes from the glare of the sun as she stared up from the
shrine steps. Memories came to her of the long days in the Feudal Era-she and
Inuyasha were a pair from the beginning. Fighting, smiling, laughing, arguing,
not talking, talking, sharing dreams, sharing fears- a pair attached by a cause
and honor. No two people could have been
closer then the two of us, she thought as a warm breeze wafted in the air. We were a matched pair, both not really
understanding how quickly we could fall in love.
Kagome sighed and continued up the
daunting steps. Of course it took us a
while to admit that we were in love. But the actual falling part? A smile
flitted across her face. No, the falling
was hard, painful and stupidly fast. I went from having almost no experience
with boys to plunging into a serious relationship.
She reached the shrine courtyard
and stopped to catch her breath. The thought of going back into her house and
talking with her mother made Kagome feel almost ill. Yet leaving into the
wildness of Tokyo didn�t appeal
either. Indecisively she paused at the lip of the courtyard.
Where to now?
00000000000000000000000000
Inuyasha leapt from the well in a
silent explosion of electric blue light. Standing comfortably on the edge of
the oddest time traveling machine in the world, he stared at the door.
He hadn�t wanted to come. As he had
made his way to the well in the meadow, he had resisted with all his being. It
was instinct that alerted him to the danger. The threat of his personal apocalypse
was growing and he could do nothing to stop it. The magnitude of the panic
seemed absurd but it was an almost physical sensation in his gut.
The last time he had felt this
omniscient sensation crawling under his skin was the day that Naraku had died.
The outcome of that had been the
disintegration of his entire world.
Yet there was nothing to fight now,
nothing tangible to kill or stop.
So he came to her, leaping into the
peculiar magical portal, bypassing time in a timeless moment, knowing he would
regret it.
Now it was time to take his courage
in his hands and face whatever was causing this sick feeling in his stomach.
Jumping off the well, he landed in front of the doors.
Am
I overreacting? Am I seeing too much into the situation? Inuyasha wondered
as he inhaled. It doesn�t matter anymore.
It�s time to act, he decided determinedly. Enough thinking.
His hand refused to move.
Inuyasha growled as the sheer
irrationality of the situation pushed him into action. He heaved open the doors
and strode into the sunlight, one hand of Tessuiga�s hilt and the other poised
for action.
There was just one thing left to
decide.
Where to now?
00000000000000000000000000
I
should be surprised but I�m just not, Kagome thought as she walked to the
Goshinboku and saw the object of almost all her thoughts nearing it as well.
Inuyasha stopped when he was close enough to see the way strands of her hair
delicately waved in front of her face in the breeze. �Hey.�
�Hey.� Kagome drank in the sight of
his red haori, silver hair and closed gold eyes. Her reaction to him, the
almost desperate need to memorize his features, illuminated the decision she
hadn�t been aware of making. Did I know
all along? Was I denying myself the only answer?
Inuyasha saw her eyes grow sad and
contemplative and the sickening feeling in his stomach intensified. �So I guess
we need to talk,� he said quietly.�
Kagome�s head jerked up and she stared wide-eyed at his serious mien.
Inuyasha turned, not waiting for
her to answer.
�How did you know?� she whispered
to his back.
He paused and looked over his
shoulder, a small smile on his face. After
all this time, she should know that I know her by now. �I could see it in
your eyes,� he answered softly. Maybe�just
maybe it comes down to that.
She opened her mouth but slowly
shut it and simply nodded her head. The pair walked on.
The wind blew his hair around
gently but Inuyasha didn�t notice as he made his way toward the Goshinboku.
Kagome followed in his footsteps, unable to do more then go where he led.
And
that�s half the problem, she thought sadly.�
The Goshinboku�s greenery was
falling and the bench that rested near the famous tree was covered in twigs and
leaves. Brushing off the debris, the pair sat down.
�It�s pretty outside today,� Kagome
commented.
Inuyasha nodded, accepting the
inane remark as the opening gambit it was.
�It seems like a waste to ruin it.�
�But we�re going to ruin it
anyways,� he replied knowingly.
Kagome swallowed. �Yeah.� Nothing
had ever seemed this difficult before. She let out a shaky breath and began.
�For a long time it�s been just us. We fought demons and monsters and evil
witches and even stopped the world from ending.�
�A couple of times,� Inuyasha added
with a snort.
�Yeah, that was us. A pair of
regular superheroes in a red haori and a school girl uniform.� Kagome breathed
in again for strength. �We were total strangers in the beginning but then we
became friends.� She smiled at him and it dazzled him, a bright flash of
unexpected cheerfulness. �We are friends, first and foremost.�

He nodded and smiled back, his grin small and not as bright as hers.
�And then�we fell in love. You
didn�t want to and, to be totally honest, neither did I,� she said with a sad
look in her eyes, �Kikyou was in the picture and in your heart, taking all the
space you had to give. I wanted to keep this world and my own time apart and
falling in love with you wouldn�t allow that kind of separation.�
�Kagome shook her head in bemusement as she
took in the shocked look on his face. �You didn�t know? I tried damn hard to
resist you. I might have been only fifteen but I knew that it would be
emotional agony.�
�Not that bad,� protested Inuyasha.
�Yes it was. Up until we destroyed
Naraku and Kikyou left, I was on this awful emotional roller coaster and
couldn�t get off.��
Inuyasha took a deep breath. ��And
now?�
�Then we killed Naraku and became
lovers.� Kagome looked at Inuyasha intently. �We became lovers�all the
obstacles between us should have disappeared but they didn�t. New ones just
popped up in their place. A different ride but the same amusement park.�
�I don�t understand.�
�I know.� Trying to organize her
thoughts into a translatable mass, Kagome sighed deeply. How to tell him? Sucking in a breath past the lump in her throat
was hard. �Lately I�ve been doing some thinking. About us. About what we�ve
become�What have we become�Do you know?�
The hanyou tried to read her eyes
to see what she wanted to hear but they were a closed book, not letting any of
their secrets out. �I thought we became happy,� he whispered finally. �I
thought we were finally happy.�
�We are!� Kagome agreed
desperately. �I am!� Feeling tears prick her eyes, she nodded silently. �We are
happy together.�
�So what�s the problem then??� he
burst out. �Why are you doing this whole thing?�
Kagome stared at him and finally
saw with clarity. It was in the defensive line of his back, the tense way he
set his shoulders and the downward tilt of his head that led her to the correct
conclusion.
�You know what I�m trying to say,�
she said softly, shocked. �You know!�
Gold eyes narrowed in hurt. �I
think I know but I�m hoping I�m wrong.� He cocked his head and his eyes pleaded
alongside his soft voice. �Tell me I�m wrong.�
��No.�
Inuyasha squeezed his eyes shut. �Fuck. Oh�fuck.�
Kagome swallowed and breathed
heavily as she tried to regain her tenuous control. �We�ve been so obsessed
with finally allowing ourselves to be in love that we lost sight of who we are.
Of who we were supposed to become.� She winced as she stumbled over her words,
knowing she wasn�t getting her point across.
�We were supposed to become two
people in love!� Inuyasha replied in frustration.
�And what else? What else are we
supposed to be?�
�Who needs something else?�
�I do!� Kagome shouted. �And so do
you!� Her voice rang in the shrine courtyard. �We�ve grown up a little but
that�s all. Don�t you see? The fact that it�s taken us so long to realize that
we should be defining ourselves in relation to something more than one other
person proves something here isn�t right!�
�That�s bullshit!�
�It�s not!� she answered loudly,
slamming her fist onto her knee.
Inuyasha glared and looked away,
muttering angrily. He bounced to his feet but Kagome grabbed onto his sleeve
before he could walk away.
�I keep on running to you whenever I get into any sort of trouble,�
Kagome whispered.
Inuyasha shook his head, anger changing into sadness and confusion.
�Isn�t that what love is?�
�No, that�s dependency.�
�A person is dependant on the
person they love.�
�No! A person is completed by love.
We were, no- we are stagnating.�
�What the hell is that supposed to mean?� Inuyasha demanded. He ripped
himself away from her hands and stalked five paces to the right and five paces
to the left. Over and over, he followed the tiny path as Kagome spoke.
�It�s been four years since Naraku died. I�haven�t grown at all. No
other goals, no ambitions at all; my whole life was killing Naraku and being
with you. Staying in the same place for four years isn�t healthy. It isn�t
normal to have no life beyond�you.�
�I have no life outside of you either.�
�And that�s wrong. You should be settling down in a village somewhere
or becoming a mercenary- well, I hope not that,� Kagome frowned,
�but�something! Something more than what you were! Not just sitting on Kaede�s
roof, waiting for me to pop over or waiting to pop over to me. You should want
to do something beyond odd jobs for the villagers.�

�Maybe I don�t want to settle down,� he argued.
Kagome stood up. �I am what is keeping you from moving on. And you are
keeping me from moving past what happened to us on my fifteenth birthday��
He finally stopped pacing and looked her square in the eyes. �I guess
that�s the difference between us. I don�t want to move on without you.�
�But you can move on without
me. You can�t move on and grow with
me. Neither of us can. That,� she said softly as she caressed his cheek in her
palm, �is the problem. Not that I don�t want you. It�s just that we�we swallow
each other up.�
�That,� he announced in cruel parody, �is bullshit. Now that we know
what the, the problem is, we can stop it. No need to do all this.�
Kagome sat down again and lowered her head into her hands. �Don�t you
get it?� she whispered. �I�m tired. I�m tired of fighting everything and
everyone for you. Kikyou, Naraku, strangers, demons, Sesshomaru, even yourself-
I�ve battled them all for you but now�I�ve got nothing left to give you.
Everything I�ve had, everything I could, I gave to you. And now, I have nothing
left for myself. I need to leave and I don�t want to!� she said, crying now and
not caring. �I don�t want to, damn it all! It�s not fair when I�ve fought so
hard for you! But�� she spread her arms wide. �I�ve only got one life. I�ve got
to make it count. You�ve drained me dry. In order to survive, I need to go.�
�I can�t let you,� Inuyasha said harshly. �I won�t!�
�I never asked you for anything,� Kagome said softly, wiping away
tears. �Give me this. Leave and let me have some good memories. I want to
remember you safe, healthy and happy! I want to remember the man I helped you
become! And I can�t do that if I stay with you!� she almost shouted. �All I�ll
remember is how miserable we were, how badly we worked out��
�We aren�t miserable,� denied Inuyasha hotly, desperately. �We�re
having a rough spot between us and I don�t see why the fuck I should let you
leave me!�
He doesn�t get it, she thought in despair. He doesn�t understand how bad this is.
�Inuyasha�please.�
He went to his knees in front of her, taking her cold hands in his.
�You�re my only friend. You are my only family.� He shook his head and looked
at her with eyes that shone with tears. �I don�t have anyone but you. No one. Do you even understand that?
Don�t ask me to give this up��
God forgive me for what I am
about to do.
�I considered killing myself yesterday,� Kagome said softly. She
couldn�t look into his eyes, couldn�t see his horror and appalled expression.
She could feel his eyes staring at her and there was no sound in the courtyard
except the wind and his whispered denial
Feeling the ground move underneath him, Inuyasha settled heavily next
to Kagome on the bench, seeing nothing and hearing only those words, �killing myself.�� The words echoed in his head.
When did this become so fucked
up? he wondered in misery.
Looking at her watering eyes, he shook his head again, opened his mouth but
couldn�t get anything out. I can�t do it.
Losing her now will kill me, he knew. He turned ideas over in his head,
trying to see something that he hadn�t seen already, a different solution other
than the obvious. But�am I killing her by
staying?�
It was impossible to think of, a sundering of everything that tied him
to humanity. She had taught him that- people weren�t meant to be alone.
There has to be another way.
However sometimes the best option is the hardest and, in some rare
cases, the hardest option is the only one you have.
In the end it was only one thing he could do.
Love isn�t supposed to hurt this
much. It shouldn�t be allowed to grow this big inside me and then abandoned.
�Because I love you�and I do,� Inuyasha told her softly, covering her
hand with his.
�I know��
�And I suppose that the only way to really show my love is to do what�s
best for you. Letting go of you,� he inhaled sharply and suddenly, �I wonder
how I�ll be able to do it but I won�t- no, I can�t let something happen to you.
I�ve been your protector for so long, I guess this is just a strange and awful
continuation of that.� This will kill me.
�If�leaving is what�s best for you then I�ll leave voluntarily. I love you
enough to do that.�
I can�t breathe. Kagome whispered, �Does this mean what I think
it does?�
�I think so.� Inuyasha nodded and sucked in air past pain. I can feel my heart breaking.��
The two gazed at each other, miserable and lonely despite being near
the person they loved more than any other.
Slowly Kagome�s head descended to rest on Inuyasha�s shoulder, tears
falling onto his haori uncaringly. She didn�t notice his eyes closing in pain
as his heart squeezed unmercifully. Soon,
a voice that sounded like his own whispered in his mind, you�ll never have this again. Soon�
�Hey Inuyasha?� Kagome asked quietly. �You know what I wish?�
�What?� he whispered as unfamiliar wetness fell onto his cheeks.
�I wish we had never killed Naraku. I wish Sango, Miroku and Shippou
were still with us and you and I were still nervous and frightened of the
future.� Kagome tried to smile through the tears clouding her eyes. �I wish to
God we were still happy�.we were happy then and we didn�t even realize.�
Inuyasha sucked in a breath and kissed the top of her head softly. He
slowly stroked her hair with a rough, callused hand.
�Me too�� he whispered back finally. �Me too��
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A/N: I repeat this is not the last chapter! Let me know what you
thought. As I told some reviewers, this has been literally months in the
making. I wanted to try and par down the separation because I tend to the
flowery and overemotional (re: the last chapter of �All Things Keep Getting
Better�. I cringe. I swear I shudder
when I reread that�.thing. blech.) and wanted to keep this from being
overwrought but still keeping an emotional pow. Please tell me how I did!
- 11
- 12
- 13
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Thank You	By : drake220 Category: InuYasha > General Views: 17174 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Thank You