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In A Blue Moon - MPREG version	By : NihilEtNemo Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 31078 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

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Chapter Twelve

Lonesome Moon

Inu-maru gurgles as I let him suck on my finger. He has learned not to bite me by now, unless he needs to be fed, in which situation that is really all he needs to do, as it is my blood that will feed him until he can eat solid food. Apparently, I learned from Inuyasha, human children drink milk, like animals do. That rather amuses me. How do they get strong, if they drink milk? Perhaps that is why they are so weak…

My stomach clenches and I breathe deeply, shutting my eyes and focusing on controlling it. This past week, ever since Inu was born, I have been getting more and more ill. I think that Naraku’s child is dying. I cannot be certain, and I do not know why, but I think it is so. Perhaps it is for the better. I have never, to my knowledge, killed an infant before, and perhaps that is one sin I should keep off of my conscience. Perhaps, then, it might be better that it die naturally.

Inu-maru whimpers a bit as I feel sick. If I did not know better, I would think that there was a connection between the children… Impossible, one would think. They are only half brothers, one the son of Inuyasha, the other the spawn of pure evil. They should have nothing in common, no connection at all. And yet, it is almost as though they are both suffering at being apart.

The nausea fades and I gently rub one of Inu’s ears. He giggles loudly and grabs my hand, a finger in each of his hands, his tail wrapped around my wrist, and proceeds to gnaw on one of my claws. Every time he does that, he tastes the poison and nearly makes himself sick, but he never learns… he truly is Inuyasha’s son, I think. I am not certain whether I should attribute that to stubbornness or thickheadedness…

There he goes again; he chokes and pushes my hand away, beginning to cry, and looks at me as though it is my fault. I smile a little at him and gently ruffle his hair. He forgets completely about the bitter taste in his mouth and reaches for my hand again.

I look once more toward the window as he chews gently on my finger again. Where is he…?

“Sessho!” His voice assaults me at the same time as his smell, and he wraps his arms tightly around me. I have no idea how he managed to get into the castle, but I hardly mind. Instead I lean against him and show him Inu-maru without being asked, for I know he is curious. He kisses my cheek and releases me to take the child from my grasp, standing back and lightly running his claw over his nose. The baby goes cross-eyes and giggles, trying to catch him, then claws him when he refuses to allow himself to be caught. He yelps and pulls his hand away, and Inu-maru giggles.

I gently take him back. “No bullying your father.” He looks up at me as though I’ve just taken away his favorite toy… Perhaps I should allow him to bully his father more. Then again, that is just demeaning. A mostly-grown hanyou bullied by his own infant son…

Actually, rather amusing.

“Are your friends coming, Inuyasha?”

“Yeah, I think they are. I told them where I was going and just took off while they were still packing and everything…” He wraps his arms around my waist. “If they show up it shouldn’t be too long from now. An hour, maybe.” He brushes hair from my neck with his nose and proceeds to kiss my throat. My head instinctively tilts to grant him more access, but honestly, Inuyasha! I am of course still pregnant, and I am holding our child as he tries to seduce me!

“Inuyasha…” I say in my best warning tone of voice. He sighs into my neck and rests his chin on my shoulder instead.

“How long?” His voice has a distinctly whining undertone to it.

“Until the other is born. At least.” I slide from his grasp to set the baby in his crib. “That should be three weeks from now, approximately.”

“Three weeks!?” His head drops against the wall. “Three weeks?”

“You have already waited three months.” I cover the child and watch him close his big golden eyes, already falling asleep. “Three more weeks will not kill you.”

His head only falls against the wall again.

“I thought you came here to see your child, at any rate.”

“And you,” he says, wrapping his arms around me again and pulling me back against him. It does feel rather nice…

“For sex, then.”

“No!” he denies immediately; I do not even have time to raise my scathing eyebrow before he amends it. “Well, yeah. Hopefully. But that wasn’t the main reason. The main reason was to see you both.”

And still he will not tell his friends. I appreciate the gesture but I do not know how far to trust what he says…I am still his dirty little secret, after all.

“What’s wrong?” He nuzzles my neck again.

“Nothing,” I tell him, and pull out of his arms again. “It is nothing.” He looks as though he does not quite believe me; I had best come up with a lie, and quickly. “It is merely the thought of your friends coming to ogle my child…” Actually, now that I think about it, that is not really a lie. They will want to touch him. To hold him. To make little baby-noises and coo at him. Well, it is out of the question. I will not have my child treated like that…

“Hey, they’ll be fine. They think he’s adorable.” He pulls me back to him with one hand on my wrist, and I finally relent. “They won’t hurt him or anything…”

“They will treat him like a doll, Inuyasha. Your females will fawn over him. Your fox cub will want to play with him. There are many fates I would rather bestow upon him.”

He snorts a little. “Besides love and affection?”

“Besides them.”

He frowns. “Really, Sessho – what’s wrong with my friends? They can be annoying, but you have no reason to hate them like this…” It really seems to trouble him.

What should I tell him? Could I tell him that I am jealous of the time and attention he spends on them, and not me? That I am hurt by the fact that he keeps me a secret and considers them always first, what they will think, how they will react, how anything will impact his relationship with them? That I am dying to tell him to just makes a choice already, to decide upon one or the other and live with the consequences?

Not that I am. Where he spends his time and with whom is of absolutely no consequence to me. I am more than perfectly capable of caring for our son on my own, and it would greatly ease my conscience were he to leave me alone… In fact, I should do myself a favor and tell him that I never want to see him again.

However, I am unwilling to lie like that. I need him. And so, if he wishes to only give me whatever time he can spare from his friends, I will make do with that. I should be gratefully he is being somewhat responsible and not abandoning his child entirely. Many demons would do far less for their bastard offspring than he has. Spending time with me is an added bonus, an unnecessary consideration on his part – even if all he wants is sex.

I realize I have not answered his question; I have to think for a moment to remember it. “I dislike them.”

“That’s not any explanation at all, Sessho,” he says, in his chastising tone of voice. How does he think to chastise me? “I asked you why you dislike them.”

“Because they are weak, irritating, pathetic fools.”

“And?”

“Do I need something more?”

“No.” He kisses my neck again. “But you have more. I can tell.”

I only look at him for a moment; I suppose I should answer. I should tell him… I really have little choice in the matter…

“Inuyasha!”

He both turn toward the doorway as his irritating females leads the party into the room. The room happens to be my personal bedchambers, and Inuyasha I do not mind intruding so much, but they are being so incredibly rude… Not that they have any real idea.

I look flatly at Inuyasha for a moment. This is why – I will him to understand that. The moment he heard her voice, he stepped away from me, his arms left me, and he was now their Inuyasha. I do not want their Inuyasha. I want my Inuyasha…

He does not get it, of course. I look away from him and pick up Inu-maru, who is about to cry at the sudden noise, giving him my finger to suck on again.

“Inuyasha, stop running away like that!” He just stands there and takes her scolding. Can she not see that he cares not at all? He will keep doing it.

“Yeah, you didn’t even stay for breakfast!” The fox cub jumps on his shoulder to berate him. “Or to help with camp…”

I find it hard to believe that Inuyasha ever stays to help pack up camp. I also find it incredible that they storm into my home and then proceed to ignore me utterly in favor of yelling at my brother.

“What was so important, Inuyasha?” his monk asks.

That is more than enough. Holding my child, I turn to walk silently out of my own room. The hunter and her kitten are watching me closely, but I only walk past them both and let the door fall shut behind me. I am not running from them, however; this is not a surrender. I simply do not feel like fighting.

I am finally outside, in the gardens, when I can no longer hear anything from them. I walk around for a while, listening to the wind in the trees and the faint lapping of the pond in the breeze. Eventually, I sit beside it, holding my son and watching it blankly. At this very moment, I wish nothing more than for Inuyasha to leave and take his entourage with him. If possible, never to return – neither him nor them.

They will not leave, however… Inuyasha barely got to spend any time with Inu-maru, and his friends did not really get to see him at all. Perhaps I should have left him there and left on my own. Inuyasha would have looked after him and made sure nothing happened… But I could not do that to him. He has not left my side since the moment he was born, and I have no wish for that to change for some time yet. And I am particularly loath to leave him in the clutches of those filthy humans and their strange… disturbing sentimentalities.

I feel a sharp prick in my finger as Inu bites me, then begins to contentedly suck on the wound. It will stay open and unhealed until he is finished; something in the saliva, no doubt. The breeze is nice and cool; Inu will be perfectly temperate in his father’s haori. I wonder if he has a supply if them somewhere; he must, for he is wearing another one now. And, despite the filth and damage I have seen it accumulate in his fights and daily life, it never seems any worse for the wear. Perhaps there is a hollow tree somewhere stuffed with them…

A fish jumps in the pond, distracting Inu. He reaches toward where he heard the noise, gurgling. He already wants to hunt. I cannot even consider letting him try yet, of course, but it is incredibly precocious of him to want to already.

I tilt my head back, closing my eyes and letting the warm sunlight fall upon me. It is very enjoyable… It makes me want to travel again. I know not where, but only to start walking and go wherever I end up… I should. I need to introduce Rin and Jaken to my baby, as I promised. The other will never be an issue. Perhaps I should wait until it is born, however, only to be sure. I could walk until then…

I cannot, I suppose. I should not take such a young child on the road with no plan and little power. Also, where would Inuyasha know to find me, if I just left…? If I had no plan, I would not be able to tell him where I was going. What if he wished to see Inu-maru, then? Or me, should the desire strike him? Ah well… I suppose I shall have to stay here, at least until Inu is older. It really is not so bad, anyway…

“Sessho?”

I open one eye only slightly and look toward him without moving. Inu stops his random noises that I had not even noticed until they were gone and looks at him curiously. I can feel him shifting in my arm.

Inuyasha sits on his knees behind me, pulling my hair out of his way. Unfortunately I am sitting on it, so he pulls it and I am forced to shift to free it before it can move. He drapes it over my shoulder and places his hands on my arms, kissing my neck lightly and resting his chin on my shoulder, pulling me against him. I do not resist, but I am not particularly cooperative. I still wish he would go.

“Why’d you leave?” He sounds so adorably confused… it irritates me. “They didn’t mean to make you go.”

A large part of the problem was his friends, of course, as he seems to know. Almost as much of it, if not more, however, was him. I do not like to see him with them, interacting with them and acting as though I am nothing to him but reluctant family and potential enemy. I am no fool; I know from whom his friends got their low opinion of me, enough that they would think I would kill some female to take my child, doubtless merely to have as an heir and train in the art of cruelty and murder… I know Inuyasha no longer has such a low opinion of me, if he ever truly did, but he is doing nothing to correct their perceptions. It is the least he could do… He knows I am not a monster, and I would like them to recognize that as well.

“Sessho?”

I have been staring at the sun and not answering his question. I finally blink, watching the blue circle burned into the center of my vision, and look at him. Not to answer, merely to look. I have no real answer to give him. I left because I no longer wished to be there, and it was partly his fault, and thusly I will not tell him so.

“Are you all right?”

“I am.”

“Really?” He seems not to believe me, oddly enough, for I truly am fine.

“Yes.”

He says nothing and plays with a long strand of my hair. Silence is fine, though I honestly preferred it when I was alone. Alone with Inu-maru, that is, of course. He hardly counts as company, though.

“You look cute with him,” he says. “Very maternal.”

“…Cute?”

“Yes.” He nips the tip of my ear. “Very cute. Beautiful, if you want.” I feel the faint heat of a blush on his face. I suppose he doesn’t often tell anyone anything of the sort. I think I could comfortably go the rest of my life without it, though of course I don’t mind… save that it obviously implied that I look feminine. Even if it happens to be true, it is not my fault, and I would rather it not be pointed out at every opportunity that presents itself.

He takes Inu from me to stave off my answer, not that I had one. Too embarrassed by the conversation to continue it. “The others are waiting inside,” he says instead. “I told them I’d come find you. You don’t have to go back until they’re gone, if you don’t want…”

“I assume you would take Inu-maru back for them to ogle?”

“I don’t think they’re going to ‘ogle’ him,” he tells me. “But I’d take him back there for them to see, yeah. They want to… I want them to. “ His grin tells me why. He is still proud of his creation.

“Then I am going with him.”

Inuyasha shrugs. “Sounds good to me. I’ll try and make sure they don’t bother you…” I am accustomed to be treated a certain way; I would rather they not ignore me. Of all the reactions I have ever received, apathy is uncommon and entirely undesirable. I would rather they scream at me than pretend I am not there.

“Very well. And I will be keeping an eye on them, to make sure that they do not treat him as a doll…” This worries me. I do not want him to receive such weak, and above all human treatment. I do not want him to think that such actions are at all acceptable. Whatever else he may be, I am determined that Inu-maru will not be weak. Weakness is the least desirable condition one can experience; I think I may rather be dead.

“Are you ready to go?”

I take Inu from him without a word and stand up without his offered assistance. He shrugs and leads the way back toward the castle, and I school my features back into the mask they are all expecting. I will not attack them. I will not force them to leave, I will not become insanely overprotective of my child, for I know they will not hurt him. I will be civilized toward them, impossible as it may seem at this moment. I have no real reason to hate them… so, of course, I must be sure to keep this hate in check.

Inuyasha takes our son from me; I am reluctant, but I hand him over after a moment. Then we enter the room in which they are waiting. The fox jumps onto his head and looks down at him. The girls stand close to him and, of course, ogle him. The monk crowds around with them, though he might only say that it was to stay with the others. The cooing begins. They declare that he is cute, adorable… they tease him, someone yelps when he bites them for doing so. Good work, my son…

Ands of course all of their comments are directed at Inuyasha. I have no real place here, except as the wall fixture I apparently am as I stand near the door and watch them all. They would be more comfortable without me. Inuyasha does not care if I am here or not. Inu-maru barely notices; he is getting attention, and that is all that matters. Perhaps, I should let Inuyasha take him… Inu would be happy. My brother would be happy. They would all be happy to have him around. Every one would be happy. It is of course pure selfishness son my part that keeps my son with me. I have no doubt I can raise him perfectly well on my own, but it appears that Inuyasha and his friends can raise him equally well. Of course, Inuyasha can protect him, something which I myself am unable to do properly…

Inuyasha falls very naturally into the role of parent… or, at least, of caring elder brother. He seems so protective, even loving. I have no doubt he would keep him safe…

And he talks to them about Inu-maru as though he is his son – which he is, but he speaks as though I am not here. The younger female asks his name; Inuyasha answers. How old he is; again, Inuyasha answers. I can see that I am not needed here.

I silently leave the room again, completely unnoticed, and walk slowly back outside, not paying the slightest bit of attention to the cold stone walls that give way to the open air and trees. I will stay away until they leave; if Inuyasha takes Inu, then so be it… he will be safe and well. Inuyasha will be happy, and I will need no longer ever be annoyed by him again…

I stop, not one hundred percent sure where I have wandered at first, and it takes a little while to recognize the mysterious white flowers under a tree and realize that I am very close to where Inu was born.

No sooner have I recognized where I am than my stomach clenches and nearly revolts. I clutch it and double over, leaning on a tree. This may be it – I may lose the child here… Poetic. Too poetic. I have no wish to miscarry my second child in the same place in which I gave birth to the first, even if I am eager to be rid of it. I am fond of this place.

There is a sharp pain I my stomach again, as of claws – like the child is trying to rip me apart, to get out. Perhaps this is how it intends to be born – to kill me and claw its way free. Such a dramatic, violent entrance to the world would befit the vile spawn of Naraku…

Gasping for air, I claw the tree as I sink to my knees to steady myself. I will not lose the child here; neither will I give it life here. I make every effort to make that the truth, and calm my body. If I cannot control that, what can I control, after all? It is far less successful than I should be able to hope – I can make it so that I am able to breathe, at least, but the pain is great, and shows no signs of stopping at all. I doubt I will be able to make it back in this condition, if I were to try. I doubt I will be able to make it anywhere. Something will have to change…

I hear crying, faintly, and look up. Inu is crying. Something is wrong. Of course – the other child. They truly do need each other… When one is in pain, the other feels it – almost as though they are twins, not half brothers. And thusly, the other causes me pain, because that is the sort of creature it is…

The crying is coming nearer, and I smell Inuyasha. Inuyasha is coming to find me to have me calm the child… I suppose I am of some use after all.

I force myself to my feet and lean on the clawed tree for support; I still do not think I can move. Inuyasha comes into view, around a tree, and relief reflects on his face when he sees me. I reach out for Inu, stepping unsteadily away from the tree. He hands me the baby and immediately supports me with his arms.

“Are you okay?” he asks. Inu calmed the moment he touched me, and my stomach began to relax simultaneous; only a few whimpers and twinges remain.

“Yes,” I tell him; he really does not need to know. My hand runs over Inu’s head, smoothing his somewhat wild hair – another gift from his father – and stroking his ears, causing him to coo contentedly.

“Are you sure?” He seems unduly concerned; I glance at him, and he does look worried. “I felt something… I was sure it was from you.”

“It was only Naraku’s child,” I tell him. “I think I may have been close to losing it.”

Surprisingly, that only seems to increase his worry. “Are you sure you’re all right? You almost lost a kid…”

“I would tell you if something were wrong, Inuyasha.”

“All right…”

“Where are your friends?” Did he leave them alone in my home, again, to snoop and trespass as they will?

“They left,” he says, looking down at our son in my arms with his hands still on me. “Inu started crying, and we couldn’t get him to stop. I was going to give him to you, but you were already gone, so I just told them to start back and I’d get him back to you.”

I only nod and continue watching Inu. He seems much happier now. I doubt it has much to do with me; he is happy now that he is near his brother. How will I be able to part them, if it hurts Inu to be away from him? However… I will manage it. I will not be parent to something as evil as Naraku’s child is destined to be.

Inuyasha pulls me close and kisses my cheek. “I have to go. I’ll come back to see you both before too long…”

“All right.”

He kisses my cheek again and gives me a fast squeeze before he leaps away, hurrying to catch up with his friends. Not that I am able to move, I walk slowly back toward my castle. I have no real cause to rush.
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In A Blue Moon - MPREG version