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Brief Moments
By : mishisama
Category: InuYasha > General
Views: 1097 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Brief Moments
By Mishi

Chapter 12
Tortured Souls

Youki- I have already explained the actual term. I did want
to warn you that I am using it a bit differently from this point on. You could
think of it in terms of a soul. Like Kagome�s soul would be split between
Kikyou and herself, Inu Yasha�s soul is split between his human soul and the
youki. It is almost like an alter ego thing. I hope that is not too confusing.
��

Inu Yasha did not know if he was
awake or dreaming. All he knew was that Kagome�s lips were locked on his. His heart was racing. He could have
cared less that the sun had risen. The only heat he cared about was the heat
that danced between his body and hers. She was already on top of him, and
pulling his kimono out of her way. His hands were under her shirt, kneading her
lower back as she ground her body into his. The more she moved, the more he wanted her. He wanted her
so badly that he couldn�t breathe.

�� Kagome,�
he moaned and set up, forcing her up with
him.

�� Miroku
cleared his throat and Inu Yasha�s head shot to the left to see the gang, minus Karen, looking on.
Kagome, however, was not deterred by the sound. In a
panic, Inu Yasha spun Kagome onto her back, grabbed for their sleeping bag, and
cover as much of their bodies as he could.

�� Miroku and
Sango were dumbfounded as they listened to Inu Yasha plead for Kagome to find
her control.

�� Unable to control her, Inu Yasha
screamed through the sleeping bag,
�Karen! Where the hell are you, Karen!?�

�� Miroku was
about to reach out to touch the sleeping bag, when Karen�s voice come out of nowhere, �No, Houshi-sama, do not touch them.
You can not help them.�

�� He looked
up to see her gliding on the air like an enormous butterfly. He was not sure if
it had been a trick of light, or if she was truly the most graceful thing he
had ever seen. She was in the air, and then on the ground without stopping.
There had been no breaking motion, just
one continuous glide from moment to moment; from floating to
kneeling in seconds, she took his breath
away.

�� I am here,
Inu Yasha. Let my hand touch her,� she said, placing her hand under the large
mound of material.

�� All motion
under the blanket stopped.

�� What is
going on?� Miroku demanded an answer.

�� Kagome,
you must come with me now,� Karen said softly.

�� Inu Yasha
sat back on his legs as the sleeping bag slid off his back. They were both in
tears. Kagome instantly turned towards Karen and grabbed at her kimono as if the Empress was her only hope.

�� Karen
embraced Kagome and held her gently as she said, �You must stand as I do.� With
the warning given, Karen rose with Kagome sobbing at her chest.

It took a minute for Kagome to allow
herself to back way from Karen. When she was able to stand on her own, she
looked down at Inu Yasha. He looked so
broken. He was losing his hope, and she had no idea how to make it stop. She couldn�t continue looking at him, she had to turn away. But
when she did, her eyes met those of Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and Kirara. They had
all been there, and they had all seen what had happened. The questions were
there in their eyes, and she couldn�t say that she was alright. She couldn�t
say she would be fine, because she was afraid that she wasn�t anymore.

�� Oh God, oh
God�� she mumbled through her hands as they covered her mouth.

�� Kagome-chan?� Sango said with a voice that sounded close to tears.

�� Kagome
shook her head back and forth, and then turned to run into the woods.

Inu Yasha started to stand, but
Karen put her hand on his shoulder. As reassuringly as she could, Karen said, �Be
patient, Inu Yasha, you have not lost her yet. This part of the fight
must be hers alone, but she will still be
in need of your strength.�

Inu Yasha didn�t respond to the
words. He just set there staring in the direction that Kagome had gone. It was like he was dreaming; nothing seemed real, as he watched
Karen walking in the same
direction. His mind was echoing a single word, �Why, why, why?� It
echoed over and over until he was pulling at his hair and screaming it into the
dirt.

�Inu Yasha!�
Miroku thundered. Inu Yasha stopped screaming long enough to look up and see
Miroku squatting down before him. �What is happening? Let me help you.�

�You can�t help with this,� the
words were barely audible. Climbing to his feet, Inu Yasha began walking in the
direction of the well.

Miroku sat there wounded by Inu Yasha�s lack of faith in him. He watched the
ground as Inu Yasha walked away. Finally his eyes noticed something in the
corner of his vision. The Tetsusaiga had been left behind. Instinctively, Miroku picked it up and
began to follow his friend.

�Miroku, let me take it,� Sango
requested as she rushed to stop him.

�You?
Why?� He was puzzled.

Sango looked up into his eyes and
explained, �I think I know what is happening. Kagome has been telling me some things
about the two of them. It might be better if I go. Besides, I think he needs
a�less intimidating�person to talk to.�

�You mean someone who�s not a known
pervert,� he said with an awkward smirk.

She took the sword and said, �I
just know more about this than you do, Miroku.�

Miroku traced her face with his
fingertips, and whispered in a melancholy
voice, �My angel always tells me gentle lies. Go get him�and bring him back in a better mood.�

*******

Inu Yasha couldn�t think anymore.
He couldn�t feel. It was like he had suddenly become hollow inside. All he
could do was walk. He was not sure where he was going, or what he planned to do
when he got there. He just gave into the fact that his feet were taking him
someplace away from the pain and all the questions that he couldn�t answer. �It had not been until he found himself looking
down into the well that he understood what he was doing. �

�Home,
I was going home. Damn it, Kagome, I want to go home!�
He thought, stumbling backwards, and wiping at his eyes as he fought to find
his balance.

He looked up to see Goshinboku
directly in front of him. He took a step towards the tree, and then another. With
each step, the emotion ebbed its way closer to the surface.

�What did I do? Why do I have to be
punished for being at peace? I�ve been playing the part of the damned hero. I�m
trying to be good,� he yelled. Finally, his legs could no longer keep him
standing. He was on his back staring up at the harsh sunlight, when he asked, �Why does everyone have to die
just because I love them? Why does another
woman have to die because I�m so weak?�

Sango had heard it all from several
yards way. As she stood there and watched him cry, she could honestly say that
she understood what he was feeling. �It was clear that she was right in not letting
Miroku follow him. He wouldn�t have understood this about Inu Yasha. He
couldn�t understand it about her.

She took a deep breath to gather
her courage, and made the resolve to go to him. Removing the hiraikotsu from
her back, Sango plopped down on the ground next to him. Then, placing the
Tetsusaiga on his chest, said, �You forgot this.�

He bent his head upwards to look at
the sword. With a bitter edge to his voice, he growled, �Lot
of good it�s done me. It�s as worthless as I am.�

�I understand what you�re feeling,
but you�re not worthless. None of us would be here if it weren�t for you.�

�You might be somewhere better,� he
groaned.

�You know that�s not true, and so does everyone else.�

�I�m not in the mood for this, Sango.�

�I know something about what you
and Kagome have been going through. She has been talking to me about it.�

Inu Yasha sprang up, moving the
sword out of his way as he did so, and looked at Sango suspiciously. He studied
her face for a second and asked, �What has she been telling you?�

�I know you can feel each other�s
emotions. She said you can�t tell them
apart most of the time. I know that her friends, all but Ayumi-san, have shunned her.�

�They what?� He was shocked to hear
it, but it finally made sense. �That�s why she was so miserable. That�s why she
was ashamed that night.�

�She didn�t tell you that they disapproved
of how the wedding appeared?�

�The wedding?
It�s not me that they had a problem with?�

�No, they didn�t like that she got married at all. It was something about
traditions not mixing right, and
how she was wasting her time going to school. They treated her like she was worthless for becoming someone�s wife. I
only got bits of it. It was Ayumi-san who took her
side, so Ayumi-san was rejected too. Oh, and Ayumi-san knows that you�re a hanyou.�

Inu Yasha fell backwards, and put
his hands over his face. �Is there anything else I don�t know?� He grumbled through his hands.

�Well, tell me what is going on and
we�ll find out. I can�t tell you that you don�t know something, when I don�t know if you know it.�

He sat up and turned his body so
that he could face her. �Do you know why we can feel each other�s emotions?�

�Somehow, Kagome took part of your
youkai and you took some of her miko. It�s
not really clear to us what happened to the both of you.�

�Ok, to make this easy for both of us, that part that she took is causing
a problem. It might kill her.�

�What does that have to do with
what happened back there? Kagome wasn�t herself, but you didn�t seem to be in
any danger. At least not from what I was seeing.�

�We were�we can�t�� he stopped to
think of a good way to say it. He wanted something that wasn�t so embarrassing.
�We can�t do�it,� he said giving a low nod with the word it. He was hopping
that she would get the point from the head movement, because he really didn�t
want to have to say it.

She mimicked the actions as she
repeated the word, �it?�

�It,� he said nodding his head.
�What males and females do when they are like me and Kagome.�

�It? Oh,
it. Oh, you mean it!� she gasped.

�Yeah, it,� he snapped and rolled
his eyes.

�Not at all?
You can�t even do it a little?�

�How do you do it a little? No, we can�t
do it
at all. I could kill her if she gets pregnant.� ��

�Wait, that�s why she wasn�t acting
like herself. She can�t control your youkai. But why�,� she was hit with the answer before she could finish the question. The
astonishment showed on her face as she gasped, �You�re afraid of it possessing
the child!�

�Karen came to help her control the youki that she took from me. If she can�t teach Kagome, then I�ll kill
her eventually.�

�Can she give it back to you?�

�It was just as dangerous that way.
It wouldn�t matter. I love her too much to see her suffer. But I love her too much to let her go.�

�I heard what you said when you
thought you were alone. I know you don�t think it�s your choice. You�re just
waiting for something to take her away from you.�

�Feh, what would you know about
it?� he looked way.

�I go to sleep every night
wondering if Miroku will be there when I wake up. I�ve been waiting every day,
since the day we met, for him to leave me. Everyone I have ever loved is dead.
Even Kohaku is lost to me. I couldn�t protect them. I couldn�t keep them close
enough. I failed them. I would be
a fool to believe that Miroku will be any different.�

He thought about her words and
realized that she did understand. He couldn�t stand the thought that Kagome could be hurt. Death wasn�t an option.
He would die before he would let that happen to her. It was like Sango had said;
he had been waiting for her to leave. He had been waiting for the day that he
would lose her, just like his mother, and just like Kikyou.

�How do you live day after day like
that?� He had to fight back the urge to cry again.

In a bitter sweet voice, she
answered, �I lose myself in him. I love him anyway that he will let me, and
I�ll continue doing it until he�s gone.�

�What happens if he leaves?�

�I don�t know. I�ll probably want
to die.�

�I won�t let you die.�

�Will you help me keep him?� She pleaded with her eyes. She wanted to
believe he could help her.

�You�re helping me keep Kagome. I
think that I can help you with the pervert. I�d only get board if he wasn�t
around anyway,� he said with a slight smile.

The comment made her smile too, �I�m sure he would like to know that.� She stopped to think for a moment, and then
said, �We�re sort of a family, aren�t we?�

�Man, that�s pathetic. Do we really
want to claim each other?�

She hit is arm, �Hey, see if I try to be a big sister to
you again.�

*******

It had been nearly an hour before
Kagome had control of herself enough to stop crying. She was still shaking, but
her eyes were finally dry. She was sitting next to Karen in a shady section of
the forest. The trees were spaced far enough apart that the sun was hitting the
grass in large patches here and there.

�I hurt him again. I hurt him
because I tried to be something that I wasn�t.�

�Which would be what? A miko? Dear, you are a miko. You are a miko by the will of
heaven, as well as by blood. When will you accept this about your nature?�

�If that�s true, why am I so weak? It�s taken me forever to
use my arrows. I�m lucky I know any rituals. I�m lucky to remember to pray most of the time.�

�You do not know who you are. Your
mind holds a vision of who you
believe you should be. Sadly, you do not realize that you need to be something
more than that vision.�

�� Kagome
shock her head and closed her eyes. She was tired, far too tired to be sitting
where she was. She wanted to be home in her bed with Inu Yasha�s arms around
her.

�� What do
you experience when you sense a Shikon fragment?�

�� What?� Kagome
couldn�t grasp the question because of her tiredness.

�� What does
it feel like when you are near a Shikon fragment?� Karen persisted.

�� It depends
on if the shard�s energy is tainted or pure.�

�� So you can
tell the difference between the feel of good and evil?�

�� Sure, I
don�t think I have given it much thought, though. But I can feel the difference.�

�� Of course,
you have never though of it. As a miko, it is in your nature to feel this. What
you do not realize is simple. You have the ability to sense the good and evil
in all that is near you. You are more closely connected to this world than any
other human. Yet, you stand apart from it. You can heal what has been destroyed
by evil. You cannot be afraid to feel this connection. It may be frightening at
first, but it will not always be so.� Karen stopped to direct Kagome�s
attention to the small grass covered opening that was only a few feet way. �All
of this was created from the same origin. We all have our beginnings together;
connected, from birth, to this world and to each other. Good or evil, light or
darkness, it all has but one source.��

�� Returning
her attention to Kagome, Karen asked, �Can you single out the energy within
your body that belongs to Inu Yasha�s youkai?�

�� It�s all
around me.�

�� No, child,
it is not. The power that surrounds you is a combination of your power and his.
It is not the same as the youki that I am speaking of.�

�� I�m
confused.�

�� Half of
the energy that you receive from Inu Yasha comes from his human heart. You
freed this part of him when you took his youki into yourself. Not even Inu
Yasha understands the greatness of his soul. He is as lost to his abilities as
you are,� Karen paused and gently motioned for Kagome to lie on her back. �His bloodline
has given him power that he does not understand. Only together, do you both attempt to face the truth about yourselves.�

�� Why am I
lying down?�

�� You both
suffer from such impatience,� Karen sighed. �I want you to search for the
youki. It will be in one area. It will require focus to find its hiding place.
However, you should have no trouble accomplishing this task. The answer should
be obvious enough to you. I want you to search that you might find the
difference in the power that surrounds your entire body,� saying this, Karen
placed Kagome�s hands in an opened position just above her face. Kagome looked
like she was trying to read an invisible book because of the way her hands were
positioned. �Let only your finger tips touch. Your hand positioning will change
as you move you hands down your body. You will not need to touch your body.
Keep your hands in the air.�

�� Will Inu
Yasha feel this?�

�� Karen was
pleasantly surprised by the question and whispered, �Perceptive child.�

Karen was looking into Kagome�s
face with what appeared to be pride. It was something that Kagome could not
understand.

�Why
is she looking at me that way? It�s almost like Mama looking at me when I get
good grades,� she thought, trying to resist the impulse to put her thoughts
into words.

Recovering from her momentary lapse
into motherly pride, Karen instructed, �Close your eyes and I will explain.
Keeping them closed will help your concentrate for now.� She paused and waited
for Kagome to close her eyes before continuing, �He might very well feel this.
You will be sorting through the power that surrounds you both. It will result to
something of a ripple effect. You will touch one point of power, and that touch
will send the power running to the next point. Your hands are only necessary to
help you find your focus. If Inu Yasha is as sensitive to your power, as you
are to his, then he will feel that ripple.�

�Will it hurt him?� she whispered
as though she were in pain from the idea of it.

�No, he will more than likely be
surprised by it. Some confusion may result, but there should be no pain. You
will simply be searching for the youki�s hiding place
in this lesson.�

Kagome nodded and let Karen�s voice
guide her into the next step. �You witnessed the combination of your powers the
first time you were intimate. Remember the colors you envisioned as you made
love to Inu Yasha.�

Kagome�s eyes shot open and she
gasped, �How do you know that? I never��

�It is not important at this moment
in time. You must concentrate and do as I instruct. This is the only way you
will survive the youki. Please, Kagome, lie back and allow me to guide you.�
Karen pleaded.

Kagome hesitantly did as she was
asked. She tried to remember the color that she saw in her mind the first time
she touch him back in her room. She couldn�t explain why, but she was suddenly
aware that that color had always surrounded him. �The amber of his eyes�the color matched his eyes. White
and amber.�

�I know the colors, Karen. I�m
white and he�s amber.�

�Were there any other colors?
Remember, his human heart has a color of its own. You would note that color
before anything deeper.�

Kagome tried to remember more about
the few moments that she had seen the colors in her mind. The times she had
seen them were blurry because of the painkillers that she had been on. The
first time that she had felt the power coming from Inu Yasha, she had been
facing death. It was so hard to remember something that she had not been paying
attention to. The one time that she could clearly remember seeing them, the
powers were blending together. They looked the same to her.�

�Stop fighting,� Karen said gently.

The words triggered a memory in
Kagome�s mind. She had heard them before. That voice and those words had been
echoed through her mind the night she almost died.

�It was you. That voice in my head
was you,� she popped up and scooted away from Karen. �I was dying and you were
talking to me. I thought it was Inu Yasha. I was so scared. I kept hearing that
voice.�

�It was my voice. I was watching
over you both, as I have always done,� Karen admitted.

Kagome was visibly shaking as she
asked in a panic, �Why? What do you want with us?�

�I would never harm you. You mean a
great deal to me. You both do. My dear, we do not have time to speak of it now.
I will give you my reasons soon. But you must do this first. Control the youki,
and then I will explain it all.� She reached out her hand to Kagome, �Please,
child, please? I am not accustomed to begging. However, I will do so now if I
must.�

Karen let out a sigh of relief when
Kagome returned to the bed of grass next to her lap.

�Would it be alright if I just
tried to find the two colors? I don�t remember everything that happened in the
beginning.�

�Do whatever is easiest for you,
dear. Speak if you like. I will not attempt to hinder you. I ask only that you
do not let your mind wander from your task.�

Kagome nodded and closed her eyes.
She tried to imagine a thin layer of wind surrounding her body. Energy always
felt like wind to her, but it didn�t feel as heavy as wind most of the time. It
was like getting a shiver that traveled across her skin, but the shiver always
lasted longer than it should have.

Next she tried to give that wind a
texture. Her mind chose to interpret the energy much like it would a warm
fluffy blanket. It was soft and comforting because it was so familiar to her.
The color she gave the blanket was a pale shade of amber, which would match the
blending of their colors. She could see it wrapped all around her body.

�I only see one color. I don�t see
anything else,� she mumbled as if she had been half asleep.

Karen was gentle but persistent as
she said, �You are seeing the surface. The youki is hidden deep within you. You
must search for it, Kagome.�

With Karen�s hands guiding hers,
Kagome began to run her hands downwards. She could see the blanket rippling and
smoothing out as she did it. There had been nothing but that pale amber until
she came to her abdomen. In that one spot the amber was darker. She wouldn�t
have noticed it if it hadn�t been for the scanning. With her mind, she pushed
the top layer of power aside to find a darker layer underneath. She pushed
again and the color grew even darker. One by one, she pushed back the layers
until, finally, she could see only red.

�I found it. I should�ve known it
was there.�

Karen tried to warn her to take her
time, and not rush. However, Kagome could no longer hear her. She was feeling
the rage within the red spot. The youki wanted out. It was tired of being
caged. It wanted her power and her body to lash out at the world that it did
not belong to. It was jealous that she had flesh and it did not.

Kagome wanted it out of her body.
She didn�t want it inside of her any longer. She was afraid suddenly, more
afraid than she had ever been in her life. In her mind, she drove her hand into
the center of the rage. What followed was pain, instant and terrible, until her
body was overcome by it.�

Kagome�s eyes flew open. She was
gasping for breath between her scream. Karen was holding her. With her hand
locked around Kagome�s wrist, Karen was forcing it as far way from Kagome�s body
as she could get it.�

�Kagome, I have you. You are safe,�
Karen�s voice boomed over her screams.

Kagome could barely understand
where she was, but at least she felt safe. A few minutes had passed before she
could feel anything. Her mind was trying to understand what it had to do next,
but she couldn�t hold on to the thoughts that zipped through her mind.

�I�Karen, I�,� she struggled to
speak.

�Rest, child, you do not need to
understand it all now. Let yourself rest.�
- 11
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Brief Moments	By : mishisama Category: InuYasha > General Views: 1097 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Brief Moments