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Blank	By : Crescentgray Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 19854 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Disclaimer: I don�t own Inuyasha.

A/N: To Ginny: I will admit that
there are some things I am leaving intentionally vague so that the readers can interpret
it how they choose, but hopefully nothing will leave anyone with a big question
mark over their heads.

To Flippy: In the original
incarnation of this story, Inuyasha stayed dead.� Sometimes (actually, usually) my stories take
on a life completely of their own and I wind up being as surprised as anyone as
to what happens, just a bit earlier.� The
muse always wins in the end, though.

To hasu86: Um.� See my note above to Flippy.� I really, really, really intended for there to be some great hot and heavy lemons in
this story, and then we veered completely off course.� <kicks the muse>� I promise the next story will be much
smuttier (already written the first lemon for that one, yay!).

To Walter, Kitsune, river,
Bluumberry, Cannibal and Jamie: y�all make me blush!� Thank you so much for your wonderful
praise!� It�s� well, it�s just amazing to
me sometimes that people feel that way about my writing.� Thank you!

Please note: While there is some
(ok, a lot) of finality in this chapter, there is an epilogue.� It�s written, I just need to let it simmer a
few days and make some final tweaks.�
Should be up within a week.

Last time:

Her awareness tinged like a thousand tiny pinpricks against her skin,
and Kagome tilted her head to the side, trying to get a bead on the
feeling.� Suddenly it was there, very
close, just behind her, his power shivering over hers like a gentle
caress.� She closed her eyes, unsure of
what to do and suddenly, inexplicably tense.�
He called to her then, and Kagome turned.

�Miko.�

Blank: Chapter 12 � Hurt

Kagome suppressed a revolted
shudder at the sound of him addressing her, at the feel of his power, muted
somehow, tickling along the edges of her own.�
It was like oil, or black tar, a nauseating darkness pressing
intimately, and somehow completely inappropriately, against her.

She finished turning and faced
him.� He had to be kneeling or crouching,
she decided as she eyed the stranger almost completely covered in a white
baboon pelt.� The baboon head formed the
hood of the all-encompassing cloak, and she could see just his mouth below the
muzzle, and the sickly pale skin of his lower cheeks and chin.

�Yes?� Kagome replied, lifting her
chin a notch and trying to keep herself from shaking.

The stranger chuckled softly,
menacingly.� �Or shall I call you Kagome,
instead?� he asked.� �After all, we have
shared so much, you and I.�

Everything in her was shouting at
her to flee, that this was a danger she simply could not handle alone, and
realization came like a sudden thunderbolt from the sky.

�Naraku.�

He chuckled again.� �Indeed,� he replied.� �Poor little Kagome, lost again in the wood.�

The miko bristled at this, and she
felt her ire rising within her.� She
embraced the anger, the irritation chasing her fear from her.� In a swift, smooth motion, she whipped her bow
from where it had been slung across her, nocked an arrow, and settled instinctively
into the stance Sesshoumaru had taught her.�
That helped as well, she realized as she drew the bowstring taut.� Purifying energy filled her and poured into
her arrow, and she felt suddenly calm.�
Settled.� Prepared.

�Now, now,� Naraku chided her,
sounding completely unconcerned.� �Aren�t
you curious about your memory?�

Kagome felt her resolve falter
slightly, and there was a corresponding flicker in the purifying arrow.� �My� memory?� she repeated.� �What do you know about my memory?�

�Why, only that you gave your
memories to me, darling Kagome,� he replied, sounding so cocky and smug that
for a moment she believed him.� �I can
assure you that I�ve taken excellent care of them.�

Kagome shoved down the sickening
wrench in her stomach, pushed away the part of her that wondered if he spoke
the truth.� From what she�d learned from
Sesshoumaru, Naraku was a master of manipulation, a liar beyond compare.� She knew she couldn�t trust him.

�I doubt that,� she hissed, her
confidence returning.

�Oh, but it�s true,� he protested,
causing her to pause again.

There was a blur of motion and in
an instant he was behind her, so close that they were almost touching.� She stood frozen, rooted to the spot, unable
to move or even turn as he whispered into her ear, his breath hot and
unpleasantly damp against her skin.

�You were so sad,� Naraku whispered.� �Inuyasha was dead, the others were dying,
and you knew that you had lost.�

Why couldn�t she move?� Kagome shuddered slightly as she felt things�
tentacles�wrap around her.� In an instant he�d pulled her back, her back
flush against his front, and he spoke again, his voice so deep and soft and
intimate that she felt nausea curl in her stomach.� Her limbs were heavy and she felt lethargic,
almost sleepy as her arms fell to her sides.�
Distantly, a little trill of alarm sounded in her head as she heard the
bow and arrow fall with soft thumps to the forest floor, but she still
couldn�t� seem� to make her body work.� What sorcery is this? she wondered,
curiously unconcerned.

�Then I spoke to you like this,� he
murmured, moving his face forward so that she felt his lips brushing her ear as
he spoke, and she shook with revulsion.�
�I told you I could take away the pain, and you, miko, you agreed.�

�I� agreed?� she repeated faintly,
willing herself to move and failing utterly.�
If only she could raise her arms again, break free of this monster and
turn, she�d purify his sorry ass to dust.

He chuckled again, perhaps sensing
the fight inside of her, and pulled her even closer.� His tentacles were beginning to dig sharply
into her flesh, and the miko welcomed the pain.�
It was helping to clear her head, just a little.

�Oh yes,� he breathed into her
ear.� �You gave in to your despair,
Kagome, and that stained the sacred jewel with such beautiful corruption.� And, to be honest, I had planned on killing
you right then, but you purified me instead.�

He�s
lying, Kagome thought to herself.�
She knew herself better than that � she knew that she would have never
given in to a creature like Naraku.�
Though she had purified him, hadn�t she?�
That much she knew from Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru.

The thought of the daiyoukai
instantly bolstered her confidence, and she felt a soft, warm glow deep inside
of her.� Sesshoumaru.� She could feel his darkness twining with her
purity, and she gave an experimental tug.�
Yes, there, Kagome could tell immediately that he had felt it, he had
felt her calling to him.� Sesshoumaru.� And with that knowledge an unnamed,
unexpected emotion filled her, shimmering brightly through her heart, something
like relief and something like�

No, she wasn�t ready to name that
emotion just now.� It was enough that he
was coming to her.

�However, I never expected you to
wind up mated to Inuyasha�s brother,� Naraku continued, smug and completely
unaware that she had called to Sesshoumaru.�
�I couldn�t have planned it better if I had tried.� But now I think it�s best for you to
remember.� I must admit that once I
realized he was courting you, I couldn�t wait for this moment, the moment the
veil is lifted from your eyes.�

He shoved her away then and Kagome
stumbled forward, her legs refusing to work properly.� She twisted clumsily around to face her
enemy, and there was something in his expression, something so self-satisfied
and arrogant that a tiny ripple of fear clenched her stomach.� If she truly had given Naraku her memory and
he was this eager to return it to her, it couldn�t be good for her.� For just a moment, just one instant, the miko
didn�t want her memory back.� What she wanted more than anything in the
world was for Sesshoumaru to come for her and take her back to the cabin, where
they could continue on with Rin and Shippo and Jaken and Ah Un.� She wanted to get to know the others again as
well, Inuyasha and Sango and Miroku and Kirara, but she could live without her
memory as long as she had the daiyoukai.�
She could live without her memory, especially since she instinctively
knew that she wasn�t prepared to pay the price for her past that Naraku was
asking of her.

Sesshoumaru,
hurry.

Sesshou�

Her life came flooding into her.

Her mommy, so pale and tired
looking and holding a tiny little bundle, with the secret smile on her face
that she only ever showed to Kagome.�
Daddy next to mommy, so happy as he looked at the bundle, the baby who
had been in mommy�s tummy, and mommy said gently, �Come meet your little
brother, Kagome.�� But Kagome didn�t want
to go, not if she had to share mommy�s secret smile with the baby.�� Then mommy smiled at her too and Kagome knew
that mommy loved her now more than ever.

Daddy left for work one morning and
didn�t come home for dinner.� Mommy cried
and Kagome cried but she didn�t really understand that he was never coming home
for dinner again and what that meant, not until she was older.� She remembered the night she truly realized
that daddy was never coming home, and that night she cried like she�d never
cried before.

Jiro, the terror of fifth grade,
pushed her down and she�d skinned her knee on the pavement.� Then Eri, the other terror of fifth grade,
came along and punched Jiro in the mouth and he�d run away, crying.� Eri, reaching down to help her up while Ayumi
looked on happily.� Yuka would come two
years later, and then the four of them would be inseparable, at least until
Kagome was pulled into the Bone Eater�s Well.

Inuyasha, pinned to Goshinbuko.� For the first time, Kagome realized how
peaceful he had looked.� Kikyo had
betrayed him and sealed him to the God-tree, but he hadn�t looked angry or
afraid; he�d looked serene.� As that
memory came flooding back, she was struck with the feeling that it would have
been better if she had never woken him.�
Inuyasha had never had that peace again, not since she�d broken the seal
on the arrow and freed him.� Inuyasha,
all awkward glances and conflicting signals, running roughshod over her heart;
Inuyasha, who had laid his head in her lap and told her she smelled good;
Inuyasha, fumbling words and inexperienced kisses in the dark.

She was wrong, she realized.� There was another time Inuyasha had looked
serene, had looked sure of himself and his place in the world.� It was when he�d chosen Kikyo over her.� That memory filled her and she remembered how
she had silently begged him not to say it out loud and he hadn�t, although they
both knew what his decision was.� Her
fragile heart simply wouldn�t have been able to take it, and she�d fled home.� Then, after a little time, she�d decided that
she would stay by the hanyou�s side regardless of his decision.

And Sesshoumaru, dancing through
her life seemingly on a whim.� Cruel
Sesshoumaru, who had tricked and tormented Inuyasha with a demon that had
impersonated the dead Izayoi simply to steal the black pearl from the hanyou�s
eye.

Ruthless Sesshoumaru, who had once
made a deal with Naraku for Tessaiga.

Merciless Sesshoumaru, who had
saved her life more than once.

Heartless Sesshoumaru, who protected
Rin, resurrected his brother and Sango, taken Kagome to a secluded cabin and
wooed her until she�d fallen in love with him.

There it was.

The crushing weight of her memories
was too much and she�d finally named it, the emotion she�d been terrified of,
had been running from.� Hateful laughter
filled her ears and the miko realized with a start that she had collapsed to
her knees, her palms flat against the forest floor.� There, too, was the final memory of that
fateful battle, miasma and pain, such pain, Inuyasha staring sightlessly into
the sky and her heart, cold and empty as she�d gazed down at her first
love.� Naraku whispering in her ear, just
as he said he had and she�d known this was the end, she was going to die.� For just a moment, a split second only, she
had wavered.� He�d sensed that instant of
weakness and it was all that he had needed.�
Naraku had taken her memories and she�d felt the almost-complete jewel
go black in response.� That blackness had
triggered her spiritual powers in a way that nothing before ever had and her
purity had spilled out of her, as if trying to make up for her moment of
weakness.

Kagome suddenly understood
something very, very basic about Naraku.�
He was a liar, yes, he was a spider who wove his webs for them to become
trapped upon, but he loved the truth.� He
only lied when lies hurt more.� He preferred
it when it was the truth that tore people apart, like when he�d flaunted the
chunk of jewel shard Kikyo had given to him.�
Like he�d tormented Sango for so long with the truth of what Kohaku had
done under him.� Like today.

It was his fault.

It had to be his fault.

�What did you do to us?� she ground
out, despair and rage boiling within her as she raised her gaze to lock with
his.� �To Sesshoumaru?� To me?�

Naraku�s red eyes blazed down at
her from under the baboon hood and he smirked, perhaps reading the desperation
on her face.� �Oh no, Kagome, I had
nothing to do with it,� he said as her heart sank.� �Lucky for me, you seem to fall in love with
the first male creature you come across.�
A pity � if I had known, I would have put myself in your path, and now
you would love me instead of Sesshoumaru.�
Or is it Inuyasha that you love?�
I get so confused sometimes.�

Naraku
is a liar! she thought to herself, even though there was an unmistakable
ring of truth in his voice.� But if he
was telling her the truth, then Sesshoumaru had picked her on his own, and she
had fallen in love with him on her own as well.�
She wasn�t sure if she could handle that.

Then a rush of wind blew by her
face and the baboon pelt exploded but it was too late, he was too late to save
her this time.� The little clay figurine
released from the pelt split in two, and Naraku�s chilling laughter was cut off
abruptly.� So it hadn�t even been him,
just one of his dolls.

Sesshoumaru was at her side in an
instant, reaching for her, and she could hear Inuyasha calling her name in the
distance, no doubt chasing after his half-brother.� Kagome shrank away from the demon lord,
staring at him, and she saw sudden frost descend in his eyes.

�You remember,� he said, his face
carefully neutral, and there was something about the way he said it.� The miko realized that Sesshoumaru was
completely unsurprised.

�You knew?� she whispered,
incredulous, shrinking back further.�
�You knew it was Naraku?�

�No, but I suspected,� he answered
curtly.� �Your symptoms were identical to
Kohaku�s before he broke free of Naraku.�
Now come,� he said, reaching for her again.� �We have much to discuss, and it would be
better to do so away from other ears.�

�Don�t touch me!� Kagome hissed, scuttling backwards.� She reached for the power inside of her and
shuddered when she realized it was completely bound up with Sesshoumaru.�

�What did you do to me?� she
whispered, hating how broken she sounded.�
Her gaze lifted to meet his again and he was regarding her with such
coldness that she wanted to shiver.� How
could she have fallen in love with someone like him?

�I have made you my mate,� he
replied, his voice hard and unrelenting.�
Kagome turned her face away, not wanting to see the hurt in him, denying
the chilliness that he was now using as a shield against her.� She knew very well that she was the cause of
it, but he was still the one who chose to react to her this way.

�I never asked for it,� she
whispered, staring at her hand where it was pressed against the ground.� Her fingernails were dirty, she realized distantly.� A soft breeze lifted a small, dead leaf from
the ground and she watched as it scuttled across the back of her hand like some
living thing.� Inuyasha was coming
closer, she could tell by the sound of him calling for her.

Sesshoumaru didn�t reply, and she
wondered what he could possibly be thinking.�
What had he been thinking,
choosing her as a mate?� Was this a game
to him?� Just another way to torture
Inuyasha?� Things had seemed better
between the two brothers, but now� now�

Why hadn�t he told her anything?� Had he been toying with her as well?� He�d kept the truth from her from the
beginning, that much was obvious, and she simply couldn�t understand why.� Had he been trying to protect her?� Did he think so little of her that he
couldn�t be bothered with telling her the truth?� And to not tell her about Inuyasha, or Sango,
and especially Naraku� it was unforgivable.

�Kagome!� Inuyasha yelled, and the
miko struggled to her feet.� Out of the
corner of her eye she saw Sesshoumaru rise gracefully as well, holding himself
still and poised.� The hanyou would be
there any moment.

�You said Inuyasha would never take
me as a mate,� she said quietly, turning her face towards him again, her calm
tone belying her roiling gut.� �Is that
because of Kikyo?�

Sesshoumaru nodded once, slowly,
and Kagome caught herself before she smiled at the gesture she found so
endearing.� �He gave her his word,� he
replied just as quietly, seemingly unaware of the war inside of her.� �By doing so, he gave everything of himself
to her.�

The daiyoukai fell silent, but
Kagome heard the unspoken follow-up sentence, and her heart clenched tightly in
her chest.� Inuyasha had given everything
of himself to Kikyo, just as Sesshoumaru had given everything of himself to
her.� A part of her melted at that, while
another part of her froze even further.�
If the demon lord�s words were true, why hadn�t he told her the
truth?� Why hadn�t he trusted her?

�I made Inuyasha a promise too,
Sesshoumaru,� she said quietly.� He was
staring at her, his expression and his eyes carefully blank now, completely
shut off from her.� �I swore I would stay
with him, see this through to the end.��
Kagome could hear Inuyasha�s footfalls now as he raced towards them, saw
the red blur of him streaking through the trees.

Kagome asked, �Why did you bring
them back to life?� Who did you do it
for?�

He paused, as if thinking about how
to answer her, and Kagome wondered � had it been for her, to woo her?� To secure her cooperation against
Naraku?� Sesshoumaru hadn�t known when
he�d resurrected Inuyasha and Sango that she had no memory.� Had it been because he felt he needed allies
to fight against their common enemy?� Or
had it been something else, some small spark of compassion within him as he�d
stared down at the broken body of his half-brother?� Would she ever find out?� Did she even want to know?

The demon lord pressed his lips
together and remained silent as Inuyasha burst upon them, Tessaiga drawn.� �Sesshoumaru, you bastard!� the hanyou
howled, charging his brother.

�Inuyasha, osuwari,� Kagome said
quietly, still sounding calm.� She almost
wanted to smile � she didn�t sound at all like her heart had shattered into a
thousand pieces.� Amazing how that worked
sometimes.

�Wha�?!� Inuyasha yelled before
slamming face first into the forest floor.�
He grunted pitifully, raised his head, and growled, �Kagome, what the hell?!�

She gazed down at the hanyou and
another little piece of her heart froze.�
For a moment, she wondered how much of her would be left when all this
was done � right now, she couldn�t see where this was going.� She just couldn�t see.

�Inuyasha,� she said, trailing off
sadly.

�Kagome,� the hanyou replied.

�I guess we need to talk,� Kagome
said, crouching by him.� She felt more
than saw as Sesshoumaru turned and walked away without a word, but she knew he
wasn�t going far.� He�d go out of sight,
the way he always did whenever she needed some space, but he�d stay close.� How
does he know to do that? she wondered silently.

Inuyasha rolled onto his back, his
bangs hiding his eyes from her view.� She
could only see the set of his mouth, firm and slightly frowning, and she
wondered what had happened to him, the blustery and brash Inuyasha of two years
ago.� But he�d grown up some in these
past years, hadn�t he?� So had she.

Kagome knelt at his side, head
bowed, and told the hanyou everything.

When it was done he stayed there,
lying on his back and hiding his eyes from her view.� She rose to her feet, turning her face
towards the sun.� With a soft sigh she
said, �I�m going back to the cabin, to meet up with the others.� Come join us when you�re ready.�

How long would he take, she
wondered as she walked away from him.� A
day?� A week?� Or would he channel all his anger and
heartache into destroying Naraku?� Would
he go after Sesshoumaru?

Kami,
she just wanted to go home and lick her own wounds.

She felt the daiyoukai�s presence
as he silently joined her, but Kagome didn�t bother even glancing over at
him.� Telling Inuyasha hadn�t helped her
sort her feelings out either, nor did she understand Sesshoumaru any better
now.� The only thing she knew was that
she hurt.� Inuyasha hurt.� She even suspected Sesshoumaru hurt as well.

Naraku�s price had been high,
indeed.

As they walked quietly through the
woods, Kagome turned her thoughts to the cabin.�
Kohaku was there, Rin was there, Jaken and Ah Un were there.� If they weren�t already, Sango, Kirara and
Miroku would be there soon as well.� And
eventually Inuyasha would be there.

Her heart quivered slightly in her
chest.� That cabin, the only place she�d
known as home before Naraku had returned her memories to her.� She remembered Rin weaving red and white
flowers into her hair, Shippo scampering towards her through the field, Jaken
screeching at the children to settle down and she�d laughed and laughed at
their antics while Sesshoumaru had watched them all, that content look in his
eyes.� Would he ever look that way
again?� Perhaps, but Kagome honestly
didn�t know if she could be the one to give him that look again.

No, she was going back to the
cabin, but her time there had been a dream, only a dream.� And it was over now.

It was over.
- 11
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