Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

A Glass Half Full	By : psychicvampire23 Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Rin > Sessh?maru/Rin Views: 9930 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
Hi guys. I had forgotten that I published this story here! I'f you're impatient and want to read more, I have this story on fanfiction (.) net under the same title. My username there is xxObsessedxx.
I’ve been very busy with my drawing and my day job as a writer. If you want to see some of the work I’ve been doing in the art department visit my deviantART page: guardianofthesword (.) deviantart (.) com, I have Sesshoumaru arts there for you to check out!
Onward
Disadvantages
She was bewitching him, and her spell was getting more difficult to resist. As he drove back to his apartment that night his thoughts unwittingly lingered on the kiss he had shared with the Ayase girl only moments before. He recalled having told her on some sort of impulse that she was beautiful. What could have driven him to say such a thing out loud? Yes, he found her attractive, but he had meant to keep those thoughts entirely to himself. And yet, she was beautiful. He wasn’t the type of man to lie, nor utter words without meaning. Something deep inside him had revolted, and now half of his mind was at war with the other.
He thought back on the kiss, how the sultry, velvety darkness had surrounded them intimately. He remembered the exquisite sweetness of her lips, the heat of her perfect breasts against his chest and the softness of her skin. Something stirred within him as he tried to fight off more erotic and enticing images that threatened to enter his mind. He’d had to leave abruptly, it was the best way to cool down, otherwise he might have done something he would regret.
It was now impossible to deny that whatever feelings of attraction that he experienced had intensified, but that didn’t mean he could accept this fact. True, he was hot and aroused and had very little choice of how and where to vent his frustration but he gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles threatened to break out of his skin, and suppressed his turbulent emotions as coldly and efficiently as ever. This time however, it took him longer than before.
IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi
It was almost three in the morning and my eyes were so wide open I was convinced that I looked like a lemur. Getting ready for bed had been quite a situation given how much my fingers were trembling and how fast by heart thumped in my chest. It took all the effort I could muster to not continuously brush my fingertips over my tingling mouth, where Sesshoumaru had made contact with his surprisingly soft lips.
I replayed the scene over and over in my head like a lovesick school girl and when I finally collapsed into bed (with my nightgown inside out but I wasn’t in the right state to correct myself) I forced myself to close my eyes and fall asleep. Yeah, that didn’t work.
Instead of making myself sleep, I dwelled on my current circumstances, and of course that hot, sweet kiss. I was in love with Sesshoumaru, that I couldn’t deny. But what was he feeling? Was that kiss, and the one before it, lust fuelled? I knew I wasn’t a very beautiful or sexy woman. I was petite, loud and energetic...not his type. What was going on in his relationship with his fiancée? Was he bored? Was he looking for a last minute fling with someone else before he settled down? I touched upon these subjects in my mind but somehow nothing fit. It didn’t match the Sesshoumaru I knew.
I closed my eyes for the hundredth time, squeezing the lids together and ignoring the ache in my chest. I felt wonderful, awful and so confused. I accepted that I loved Sesshoumaru with all my body and soul. His deep, rich voice penetrated my being, his piercing amber eyes mesmerized me and his touch sent me into the most profound depths of desire and despair. It’s wonderful, absolutely wonderful to fall in love with someone. But terrible if you don’t know if they feel the same way about you.
I managed to sleep until eleven the next morning and I lay in bed savouring the fact that it was a weekend and I didn’t have any leftover work to do. The problem was that this left me with an insurmountable amount of time to think about a certain silver-haired someone.
To distract myself, I tried to read a nice book that I had left halfway about...six months ago. I got through about five pages before realizing that I wasn’t paying much attention to the text. I decided to watch some television, but I would zone out and think of him. I was seeing him everywhere, even when I tried to close my eyes! I gave up and let him take over my mind and my senses, feeling awed at how much he could affect me even when absent. I relived his kisses over and over again, touching my lips where his sensuous ones had been, soft and hot and passionate. My heart began to race at the memory and I knew I had to stop and think. What was I doing? He was engaged for goodness sake! But my heart refused to accept this fact.
I shook my head twice for good measure as if this movement would make those wonderful memories tumble out of one ear and leave me be. I got up, got dressed and grabbed my jacket. If staying home wasn’t working, I might as well go out and try to take my mind off Sesshoumaru. I stepped out of my apartment and felt the soothing cool air against my face. The climate was changing, becoming more humid and misty. I liked days like this, it helped me concentrate more...though I would have preferred not to today.
I set off at a brisk pace, not going anywhere. Maybe walking like this would help me get rid of all the puzzling feelings trapped inside me. I must say, having left my apartment was a great idea, outside there were many more things to observe and think about. I crossed the park, my mind trying to linger briefly on my meetings with Sesshoumaru there, but I forced myself to stop. Today, I would not think about him!
My quick strides slowed to an ambling gait as I neared the shops, where I peered into the display windows to admire the most recent clothing collection of the season. In my haste to leave my apartment I didn’t think to bring my purse with me. A nice new blouse or pair of jeans would have helped me take my mind off Sessh....I mean, a certain someone who I would prefer not to name! I rummaged around in my pockets hopelessly, trying to find some spare cash but all I could gather was a measly fare, only enough for a small pastry at my all-time favourite café, Nee-chan’s.
I patted my tummy. I had gained a few pounds, what with the constant visits to the café, but I always had a terrible sweet tooth, and even the thought of tucking into a delicious chocolate muffin (which was what I had in mind at the moment) was making my mouth water. I walked back and headed towards the café, my stride quickening as the wind started to pick up. The clouds were darkening and it was clear that it would start to pour down with rain very soon.
I pushed open the door and breathed in the tantalizing smell of baked goods. Ahhh, marvellous. I went over to the counter and placed my order, paying for my muffin with the spare change I had dug out of my pockets. Not wanting to leave the exquisite warmth of the café, I moved to the tables and sat down at my favourite spot by the windows to chomp on my muffin and stare at all the goings on outside. Just as I was licking a few crumbs from the corner of my mouth, the door opened and a very tall, very beautiful, very familiar man entered. One with long, silver hair.
My mouth hung open. But it was the weekend! He shouldn’t be here on a weekend! His eyes found mine and he began to make is way over to my spot. Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh. He was striding with purpose, his piercing amber gaze never leaving me for a second. He hadn’t even ordered anything from the counter! My face burned with embarrassment, excitement and nervous anticipation. Had he come to see me? Did he guess I would be here today? Am I over-thinking all of this because of my feelings for him?
He gracefully sat down in the seat opposite me and I caught a whiff of his delicious cologne. He smelt so good, all I wanted to do was bury my face into his neck and take a nice long sniff. He just sat there watching me. He seemed at odds for a moment, as if he didn’t quite know what he was doing here, but the impression lasted for about a split second before his usual emotionless mask settled in place. My heart thumped in my chest, my mouth went dry. Why was he here?
He opened his mouth to speak and I noticed the sensual mould of his lips as they parted, which made my heart beat even harder.
“I...” he began. He closed his mouth and placed his elbows on the table, resting the arch of his fingers against his lips while he gazed at me in a troubled way.
What? You what!? God in heaven, if he didn’t speak soon and put me out of his misery I was going to throttle him. I decided to help him out.
“Yes?”
His glittering amber eyes lowered for a moment and then returned to meet mine. He opened his mouth again and in that split second I faintly perceived the door of the café swing open. I paid more attention to it as I observed an achingly beautiful red-haired woman step inside and sweep the place with her searching gaze. Sesshoumaru must have noticed my eyes widen and he followed my stare, getting to his feet briskly and leaving as purposefully as he came. The red-haired goddess caught sight of him and gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. He didn’t give me a backwards glance as he steered his fiancé out of the café. Had she seen me with him? It was impossible to know. I watched their retreating backs from my spot near the window until I could no longer see them.
I let out a breath and slumped forward atop of my arms. My heart was still thumping rapidly from all the excitement, but its rhythm was slowing due to the misery that had begun to sink in. What was I hoping for? A mad declaration of his feelings for me? Oh yes, I had imagined that sort of thing, because I was a fool. I would never come first if we were to form any sort of relationship, no matter how much I yearned for one. He was engaged to that titian-haired goddess and she was obviously besotted with him, even if she didn’t show it much. I felt like such an adolescent! I sighed and lifted my head to stare out the window. The skies were becoming greyer with each passing second and I didn’t want to get caught in a downpour. My appetite lost, I wrapped what was left of my muffin and dropped it in my pocket for later, then I stood to leave.
The moist breeze carried the scent of rain as I walked through the park and I was so deep in thought that I didn’t realize my step had slowed and I was stopping beside the bench where I had spent ‘quality time’ with Sesshoumaru. I gazed up at the sky and roughly calculated I had about fifteen minutes until the heavens split open. I wasn’t in any real hurry to get home anyway, I would just spend my time thinking of him. I plonked myself down with a sigh, leaning forward to prop my elbows on my thighs and setting my chin upon my hands.
I was in love with a man that would never be mine. It was a wretched feeling, though it was a strange, blissfully painful one. No other man had captured my attention in this way and I wondered if I hadn’t gone just a little crazy. As I was wondering on and on, I heard a subtle crunch of gravel and straightened like a shot, my head whipping towards the sound.
It was Sesshoumaru and he was alone. He sat down on the edge of the bench and stared ahead. My heart picked up and I curled my hands into fists to stop them trembling.
“Is your fiancé....alright?” I asked, my mouth drying up with each passing second. Knowing that I was in love with him only made my body’s reactions to him even worse. Why oh why couldn’t go back to that silly schoolgirl crush phase? Or even before that?
“I expect so.” He replied, his voice a mere rumble in his chest. I found myself subtly staring at his profile, my face heating of its own accord. I admired his strong jaw and smooth pale skin, those bold, sensual lips that I had on occasion tasted and those long, almost feminine eyelashes that lined his piercing amber eyes. I ached inside with such longing...I ached to touch him and I ached for him to touch me. My breath caught in my throat as he suddenly turned to look at me, so I tried to make myself speak.
“How did you and your fiancé meet?”
Wow. I was of course Rin, the queen of the Stupid Questions. He looked away, watching the ripples on the pond but not really looking at them.
“Her father is the Chief of Medicine at the Hospital.” He replied simply. I don’t know if that answered my question, but I wasn’t about to prod him about it. I felt an annoying twinge of jealousy which was enough to think of a completely different subject to talk about. He, surprisingly, beat me to it.
“Have you had any significant others?”
My eyes widened at the question. And I felt it....I felt the surge of bubbling chatter pulse through and take over my being as it always did in these situations.
So I talked. I talked and talked and talked. I told him about the few boyfriends I had ever been with and the disasters of my love life. I was barely conscious of the fact that I would regret this conversation, that he would see me as a complicated woman with standards that were sky high, but I was too nervous to stop. I told him how my dates never quite took me seriously, they treated me like a child with their condescending smiles and little pats on the head.
“It’s enough to put me off men for life!” I laughed, trying to make things sound light, when I was sharing one of the most painful and private things in my life. Why I thought he had to know, I have no idea. I didn’t want him to pity me, I just wanted something I knew he could never give, but it felt right sharing my things with him. It must be that doctor’s gaze and the fact that he could listen without laughing at me.
Something niggled in the back of my mind but I ignored it to ask him a question.
“Are you happy in your job? It must be wonderful to be able to help people every day.” I had posed it as neutrally as possible, like one of those questions people answer automatically, such as ‘how are you?’
He frowned and met my eyes, his gaze strangely intense. “I haven’t been happy in a long time.”
IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi
He didn’t know who he was anymore. It was as if another Sesshoumaru had gone to that dratted café and met with that bewitching Ayase girl. His senses returned to him as soon as he sat down opposite her, but by then it was too late to leave without creating an awkward situation. And just what was he supposed to tell her? That he had no idea what he was doing there?
He was disgusted with himself, at his lack of control. This mere slip of a girl was messing with his mind and creating problems for him. But she looked so delectable, so fresh, so wide-eyed and innocent. He could even perceive that tantalizing scent of lavender that characterized her, making him want to grab hold of her soft hair and take a deep sniff. It was all he could do to restrain himself.
And what was he to say? Usually she would come to the rescue with her nonsensical chatter, but she was as surprised as he was and was having trouble thinking of something to talk about. He quickly attempted to think of something, but his mind was punishing him with notions too erotic for him to put into coherent words. Want, desire, bewitch, perfect breasts, lush mouth, seduction...
Before he could open his mouth and make a fool of himself, the bitch, Risa made an appearance, much to his frustration and relief. He got away from the Ayase nymph as quickly as possible and left the café with Risa who was watching him with narrowed eyes. He was quite sure she hadn’t seen him with the girl, but he wasn’t about to take any chances.
Before she could make accusations he found himself promising her, albeit in his cool, detached manner, that they would speak in his apartment later, when they both had the night off in a few days’ time. This seemed to appease her, but only just.
“You’re acting very strangely Sesshoumaru, but I shall attribute it to...wedding jitters.” She had said, not without suspicion. They parted ways and Sesshoumaru watched indifferently as she entered the General Hospital. He turned and walked back to the café and caught a glimpse of the Ayase girl heading towards the park.
What was he doing? What was wrong with him? Was this a part of his coldly calculated plan? He supposedly only wished for a few moments’ pleasure before he married Risa and obtained the position he had always wanted. It wasn’t as if he were developing feelings for this girl, his intentions were fuelled solely by lust. And naturally, so were hers. He was an attractive man, he had all the attributes that made him lusted over by women. This would be an adult agreement, a mutual agreement that was to last up until his wedding. After that, well, he would have his hands full.
Now that he had clarified his plan, he set off at a swift pace towards the bench where the Ayase girl would inevitably be seated.
He found her of course, deep in thought. She noticed him and flushed. Seeing the enticing pink blush spread over her cheeks made him almost forget what he had told himself earlier, but he quickly reigned in his control. He sat down beside her and waited for her usual barrage of words to burst forth. But they didn’t. She was being infuriatingly unpredictable today and he had half a mind to stand up and leave. He didn’t even know why he was sitting here in the first place, except to waste time. Then she asked him about Risa.
He wasn’t about to discuss his plans with her and he made his answers brief. She took the hint. He asked his own question before he could stop himself. He inquired about her love life. He loathed himself at that moment. He had no interest whatsoever in her past lovers nor did he wish to convey that interest to her and give her the wrong idea. But with that question he managed to activate her ‘chat mode’ and he felt a subtle relief. Perhaps that was what he had meant to do after all. He had missed this, just hearing her melodious voice, though he hated to admit it. However, once he started to pay attention to what she was saying, he wished he had never asked her the damned question in the first place. Sesshoumaru wasn’t the type of man to feel guilty about his plans and his behaviour, so he couldn’t for the world fathom the cause of the twinge in his chest as she spoke of her disappointments. Oh she was too smart to act bitter about it, too smart to ask him to pity her...but one look at that intoxicating face, hearing that sweet laugh tinged with sadness and perceiving that innocence that surrounded her had made it very hard for him to focus on staying cool and indifferent. He wanted to protect her. Even from himself.
How could she look so provocative and not know it? It was proving exceedingly difficult to keep to his side of the bench. Staring off into the distance and trying not to look at her was the only thing he could do to stay in control. He knew she looked at him, he knew she wanted him. She asked him if he was happy at work.
Happy at work? He didn’t even acknowledge the existence of the word ‘happy’. He had never felt it, to be sure. Happiness was what fools sought, and he was far from a fool. Still, her question touched a chord within him. No one had ever asked him that before. In fact, no one had ever asked what his life was like in general. Was he happy? No. Did he ever expect to be? No.
He found himself gazing into her deep chocolate brown eyes. She was genuinely interested. She was the first person to be interested in him as he was, not what he was and how much he was worth. It was...unsettling to say the least, but not completely so. What was more unsettling was the reaction of his body and mind every time he contemplated at her. It took a lot of effort to keep his hands from reaching out and touching her, pulling her towards him and covering her lips with his. His heartbeat quickened but he forced himself to get rid of these thoughts. Focusing on the question, he answered her, with a truthfulness that surprised him. He hadn’t been happy in a long time. Perhaps never.
IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi
The intensity of his gaze was broken as the first drop of rain landed. He got to his feet with a rustle and he cleared his throat. A rumble of thunder sounded in the distance. I also got up with a stifled sigh, realizing our little meeting was over. I looked up at him and smiled.
“Well, I suppose I’ll be seeing you.” Good, that was good. Casual, friendly, with nothing to give away my turbulent feelings. He nodded curtly and started to go but he stopped. If I didn’t know better I would have thought he was hesitating. I barely completed that thought when he turned back, closed the distance between us and lowered his mouth upon mine. My legs almost gave way at the first touch of that soft, warm mouth, and my insides flopped about inside me when his hand gently grazed the side of my neck and travelled further up to cup my cheek.
His kiss was gentle, surprisingly tender and oh so debilitating. My hands somehow placed themselves on the lean wall of his chest and were sliding up to circle his neck. He softly sucked on my lower lip and my mouth parted slightly. He accepted the invitation and slid his tongue smoothly inside, changing the nature of the kiss and making it hotter and more urgent. I felt a subtle heat form in my belly and I tightened my hold around his neck, wishing never to let go. His hands were moving over my shoulders and down my arms where they finally settled at my waist, where he placed a firm pressure to draw me closer to his vibrantly warm body. He nipped at my lower lip with his teeth and I made a little sound of surprise, which I regretted instantly because he broke the kiss and snatched his hands away from me as I were red hot. Which, I confess, was all too accurate.
He took a step back, breathing hard through his nose and closing his eyes. His jaw clenched and unclenched as if he were fighting for control, and when he opened his eyes they held a dark turbulence that frightened and excited me. I was breathless myself and I felt my lips tingle from his attentions. A sudden realization hit me. He was going to leave without explaining anything to me again. My heart was too vulnerable to allow it!
“Sesshoumaru. Please tell me what’s happening.” I said, my voice trembling in an infuriating way. Gah, these damned emotions!
He looked away. I felt disappointment. He wasn’t going to answer. He looked back at me.
“I don’t know.”
And with that he left, his stride brisk and long. The rain was beginning to fall now, and I couldn’t stay any longer if I wanted to stay dry. His answer had unsettled me greatly. What did he mean he didn’t know? How can you not know what you’re feeling? I was so confused. Sesshoumaru was the type of man to know himself, and his answer was so unlike him. I started to make my way home, picking up the pace as the rain began to fall harder. The niggling feeling in the back of my mind returned and I had the time to acknowledge it, stopping dead in my tracks as I did.
It was Reika’s advice, days ago.
“Don’t you do anything, don’t call him, don’t look for him. Let him come to you. If he does, that means he’s not ready to marry this other woman. If he doesn’t...then you can move on, Simple!”
It made me realize that I hadn’t done anything to seek him out today. It had been him. He appeared in the café, he had arrived at the park where I was.
He had come to me.
IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi
Next chapter’s a biggie! Can’t wait to get it posted! Stay tuned guys and thanks for your patience.
- 11
- 12
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

A Glass Half Full