Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Red Lotus	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 20070 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 7
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
A/N: Do you know how much I love you guys? I worked like 6 days straight - night shits. On my only day off, wednesday (well the night from wed to thursday), I did not rest (even though I had another 5 days of work coming my day). No, instead of that, I wrote 30k so that I could update all my stories on time. If that's not true love I don't know what is. :P
The rest of the updates are going to be tomorrow morning when I get back from work. I'm already almost late for my shift.
Thank you to all who read and to all who review :)
Very much not beta-ed. And probably a whole bunch of none sense!
Red Lotus
Chapter 12: The Profanity
Time did not heal all wounds.
Whoever said it clearly did not suffer enough because they would know time did not heal anything.
He was the living proof of that fact. Last night, he experienced a rather uncomfortable awkward situation that left him in a hard place. He thought time, and perhaps some rest, would fix the situation.
It was six in the morning, he was laying shirtless, wearing nothing more than blank comfortable pyjama pants, stuck under his blue comforter. And he was wide awake; just as he had been the entire night. He gave it time and he got nothing in return. Instead, he was stuck in the same situation and the problem did not seem to be going away anytime soon. He could not move, he could not breathe. The simple action of shifting against his ivory white bedding sheets was enough to torture him.
The feelings it arose within him were foreign and he did not know how to deal with them because he never experienced them before. He could not even describe them; instead, he was left frustrated. He was unfortunately stuck in his bed all day. He would not go out there in that situation and he certainly had no desire to face Kagome in his current predicament. There was no way to explain the situation to her and he did not want to explain it.
However, that meant he was stuck here without help. He knew of one way to get rid of his problem but he did not want to do it that way. He heard of the cold shower trick before but that might lead to him running into Kagome and considering his luck lately it was probably going to happen. Except for that, he did not know the other ways to get rid of it. The internet might help but his laptop was in the other room. Again, he would not risk it.
Instead, he would have to lay in pain.
Pain was the right word. That was one emotion he knew he did not get from her. He experienced pain before. This was taking it to a whole new level though. He was convinced it did not hurt that much when his half-brother cut off his arm. He was re-discovering pain.
And that clock was the bane of his existence.
The one in the kitchen that kept ticking away. It was almost in sync with the pulse throbbing in his lower regions, reminding him of his ordeal.
He repetitively tapped his big toe against his squishy mattress, waiting for it to be over. How long would he have to spend like this? At least he did not have to work but he would have to tomorrow. What if it did not go away by then? This was insane. He managed to get rid of it once, without really having to do anything, why could he not do it again?
He heard thoughts could create that kind of conversation but he did not have any thoughts - at least not that kind of thoughts. He was not responsible for this. He seriously doubted Kagome was the source of the problem either. Yes, he experienced many of her emotions but he knew she was not experiencing that emotion. It was the bond. The stupid bond. He really had to do his research - a better one than he did prior to mating her. He apparently was not as knowledgeable as he thought. Every now and then, a new problem arose and it was slightly annoying.
Sesshomaru turned his head and stared at his black alarm clock. It flashed 6:02. Two minutes. That was it? It felt like an eternity since the last time he checked the time. This was agony. A sigh rolled off his lips before he decided to grab his comforter and toss it aside. He hissed as he sat up, his toes grazing the wooden planks of the floor. He gave himself a push and stood on his feet. The entire time, the cotton fabric of his pants was rubbing against his erection, bringing him into another world of anguish.
He managed to get himself near the door and then leaned in against it, putting his ear to the door. His senses were a bit fazed because of his plight and he was trying to feel where she was but he could not pinpoint her. He hoped that his ears would be a bit better and more reliable. There was not a sound. She always made sounds - even her breathing was loud. Sometimes her heart beat out of sync…mostly because she would exhaust herself and then be completely out of breath.
He waited and waited, the urge growing, the discomfort become almost unbearable. And then it happened; he heard her shift. He heard her blankets crinkle and fold beneath her weight as she turned in her bed; she was still asleep. Perhaps there was enough time?
No. Every time a situation like this arose, she caught him red-handed. He would like to avoid it this time… but. But it was not going away. The cold shower had to be the solution. Even his currently deranged body would be forced to obey the coldness and his painful hours long erection would cease. At least, it was what he kept telling himself so that he would go through with this.
Sesshomaru wrapped his fingers around the handle and slowly turned it. He peeked outside to make sure she truly was not there and then took his first step outside of the bedroom. The wooden floor felt cold against the naked heated flesh of his feet. He made sure to walk slowly as to not make the floor creak and attract attention to himself. Once more, all of his steps reminded him of the painful problem throbbing in his pants. It was agony. He was almost relieved when he reached the bathroom door. Since he was taking a risk and coming outside of his bedroom he thought he should use the most obvious solution; a cold shower.
He hurried inside of the bathroom and then locked the door behind him. He was almost pathetic; sneaking around in his own apartment. If only he was not stuck in such an unspeakable situation, he would not have to do this. Despite the way his life turned out, he still had some of his pride left and he wanted to keep it that way. She did not need to show how pathetically he could be affected.
His clothes were a challenge. Once he pulled his pants down and over his erection, he had to pinch his lips, especially when his penis bobbed back up. Sesshomaru hurried to the shower, grabbing the blue shower curtains with one hand and turning on the cold water with the other. He then leaned his head against the blue and white tiles and waited for the water to work its magic.
And he waited, and waited.
But nothing ever happened.
Instead, he was soaking wet, in the shower, with a painful erection.
He was convinced that those things were not supposed to last that long.
After spending so much time stuck in that situation, his rage slipped him for the very first time and before he knew it, he was punching the shower wall. And he did it until the tiles cracked under the pressure. It was not until the sound echoed through his mind that he realized what he was doing. He lowered his fist - before he did any real damage - and took a deep breath.
Sesshomaru never experienced desperation before and he found himself in worst situation than this in the past. He lost his arm and yet he kept going as though it hardly made a difference. Yes, he tried to fix it but it was not a relentless search. He even lost his lands, his status and became nothing more than a regular banker. He always kept his head high and pulled through. But this - this was almost torture. And the worst part was that the solutions to his problem were more atrocious than the problem itself.
He opened his eyes, ignoring the water prickling at them, and stared at his lower regions. His organ that was usually lifeless was engorged with blood. Would he truly have to try that? No. He wanted to think there was another way, another solution to dealing with this and yet he felt like their bond wanted to be cruel. Of course, the bond was doing this to him because it wanted to be completed. Obviously he would not get out of this without physical contact. He would not have physical contact with Kagome - or anybody else.
He did not want to stoop so low either but… but he could not remain like this. He tried to wait it out, he tried to cold shower - it was almost his only option.
Annoyance was obvious in his face as he lowered his head even more, his silver hair draping around his head. He dared to raise his hand a little and then grabbed his erection. As soon as his hand made contact with it, he hissed. The feeling - it was almost overwhelming. He could not begin to describe it. Although he never did that before, the basics were fairly easy to grasp. He slowly began moving his hand up and down. He was both displeased with his own actions and yet glad that he was finally obtained some kind of relief. The pain of having such an erection for so long had begun to nag at him and he could not wait to get rid of it.
He ended up closing his eyes, not wanting to witness the shameful act he was performing. He kept going at a steady pace until finally, he came undone. The feeling surged inside of him like a warmth and tingle that traveled through his entire body until he felt himself stiffened. Then, release came. It hit the wall and his hand fell to his side. For the first time in hours, his penis went soft and he felt himself relax. He was drawing breaths quicker than usual until his breathing came back to normal a few instants later.
Sesshomaru twisted the shower head around, cleaned off the wall and then turned the water off. He stepped out of the shower, water dripping upon the blue shower mat and he reached out for a towel. He wrapped the burgundy fabric around his waist and stepped in front of the mirror. He could barely look at himself. Shame was obvious in his eyes as he proceeded to washing his hands in the sink. Once that was done, he approached the door and listened in for any noises. For a while, when he was in the shower taking care of his problems, he shut out all the sounds, all the scents. Now that he was back in focus, he had to be careful. She could have heard him punch the wall.
Although she would not ask about it, thankfully.
Once he made sure it was quiet, he opened the door. He walked to his room, a little faster this time, and then quickly retrieved the safety of his own bedroom. He laid on his bed, wearing nothing more than the towel, and closed his eyes. The night took its toll on him and despite the fact that he was a youkai, he was exhausted. He closed his eyes and instantaneously fell asleep.
While he finally found solace, someone else in the apartment was wide awake.
Kagome laid in her bed, her fingers clutching the salmon colored sheets. Her eyes were wide opened, trinkets of sweat were dripping down the side of her neck and she could feel her white shirt clinging to her skin. She desperately ran her tongue over her dry lips repetitively but it did not help. She could not even remember the last time her heart was beating as fast as it currently was. All she could hear was her own heartbeat echoing in her head.
She felt as though she had been caught. And she had sort of had been.
An urge kept her awake most of the time and forced her to remain locked up in her own bedroom. After all the awkward situations that happened between her and Sesshomaru, she refused to make it any weirder. She especially did not want him to smell what kind of situation she was in. She could not even explain how it began. She had been asleep - or uncomfortably asleep - trying to forget the strange kiss Sesshomaru and her shared when an urge woke her in the middle of the night. At first, she dismissed it as the result of the kiss and a dream she could probably not remember.
She was proven wrong.
No matter how hard she tried to fall back asleep, she was unable to find rest.
It left her wondering what to do. Alright, she was a virgin but she knew what most people did in that situation. Both options were out of the question. She would not have sex with anyone, especially not Sesshomaru and she could not do that. Thinking about it made her blush. After all, even if she considered it, she would most likely make some sounds and then - well Sesshomaru would hear her and that thought alone mortified her.
And so, she was stuck.
For hours. And hours.
Until eventually, she felt ready to give in. The urge bothered her, drove her insane and her body felt hot. She could not stay like this. And what if Sesshomaru thought something might be wrong, what if he came near the door? He would smell it! She could not stay like that! She could never live it down if he found out. It would be way too embarrassing.
And so, Kagome did the only thing she could think of doing, no matter how much it made her blush.
She moved her hand down until she reached the hem of her pink pyjamas pants. She dared a hand inside, feeling the soft fabric of her underwear. There, as her fingertips were lingering right above her naked flesh she heard it. Someone punching the wall next to her. She never jumped that high before. She snatched away her hand and her heart raced. She believed Sesshomaru to be asleep, not in the shower. She did not even hear him walk around! Her entire face was red and she did not dare to touch herself again.
Kagome's heard stopped completely and she waited. He did not hear her did he? He did not smell her right? At that moment, she did not even dared to breathe. Instead, she waited in the darkness. It would have been fine, she would have probably gone undetected by him if it was not for the fact that her urge suddenly grew. Out of the blue, she felt the built up of warmth in her lower regions rise to a new high. Her fingers were constricted and she tried not to touch herself. She tried but she lost somewhat.
At some point in her daze of pleasure, she rubbed herself through her clothes, through her underwear. It did relieved some of the pressure and then - and then - she felt it. The dam broke and she reached her peak with a silent gasp. She dug her teeth so hard in her bottom lip that she bled. Unable to believe what happened she laid there.
And that was how she found herself clutching her sheets, her panties completely soaked and her lungs on fire.
Humiliated did not even begin to describe how she felt. There was no way she had so little control over her own body that she came without even actually doing anything. She did not even think she had an orgasm before! How could she have one without touching herself! This was insane! How could she get these overwhelming urges? She was not a teenager. She had no one who fancied her interest. There was no reason why she felt that way all of the sudden without a warning.
It was even more insane that Sesshomaru popped into her mind. At a time like this!
Oh god, hopefully he did not know what she did. He probably already had a horrible opinion of her because of what happened a few times - her surprising arousal. She did not need him to think she was pleasuring herself in her bed at night. There was nothing shameful about it but - but…it felt inappropriate. Oh god. Though, she had to be slightly amused by the situation; a married woman was humiliated because she had an orgasm. That was a bit ironic.
Oh god.
No, no not ironic.
She wanted to crawl into a corner and never come out. He would know, he would know and there was nothing she could do about it. If he did not smell it on her, he would smell it on her clothes or her sheets when she would wash them. Oh god, her sheets! Everything was probably tainted with the scent of what happened. Maybe she had time to take a shower? Maybe he was locked up in his bedroom after his?
She prayed he was. Kagome discarded her comforter by tossing it on the ground and then made a dash for the bathroom. She was nearly out of the breath when she slammed the door closed with her back. Perhaps slamming the door was not the smartest thing she ever did, but she was in a panic. Also, she could not remember the last time she ran. She took quick breaths as she hurried to turn on the water. She stripped of her clothes and rapidly tossed them in the washing machine. She would add her sheets after her shower. That way all evidences would be washed away.
Kagome's heart was beating fast as she stepped into the shower.
She turned on the shower and sighed.
As she took a step forward she felt her feet nearly slide. It was sticky. She removed her foot and saw something white was there. Wow, she never thought Sesshomaru would be messy and actually leave shampoo staining his bath tube. At the same time, when she raised her head, she noticed the broken tiles.
Whatever made him angry enough to punch the wall and be messy must have been serious.
Why could make Sesshomaru almost reckless?
-R-
The light from the sun was dipping into the apartment as the sunset was near. The beige curtains of the window were flowing freely with the wind. The apartment was completely quiet and the kitchen and living room were engulfed in darkness. There was not a sound. There had not been a sound all day. Kagome remained locked in her bedroom, except for when she did her laundry and Sesshomaru did the same.
Especially since he heard her shower. He knew she noticed the tiles; how could she not? He smashed them. She might ask. She might not. He almost wanted to have an explanation ready but really his mind could not even bother to make up a believable one. None of it made sense, none of it was right. He did manage to make a phone call during the day. It was not to his favorite person in the world but it was the only person who could give him an answer. He might only obtain a cryptic answer but it was better than what he had now.
This needed to stop. And soon.
He already had to do one shameful thing he was not proud of and he did not want to do that again. The only way to prevent it was to do something about the bond. Before he lost his mind.
It was already becoming too much. He could find himself with an erection at any moment. After all, the only thing that happened was a mere kiss. It was not even a real kiss. He was certain that her kiss with his half-brother was more of a kiss than that. Their lips barely touched and yet he had such an intense reaction. It could not be tolerated. What if he became even more sensitive to her touch? No. No. Because one day what he did in the shower…might not be enough. Especially if their bond was craving physicality.
It had to be stopped now.
When he suggested the mating to save her, he did not think the cost would be that great. This was costing him his own sanity and he did not approved. Even if he managed to fix it, he lost himself and there were things he would never get back. He did not want it to go any further. This was it.
He could live with what he did. He could not live with himself if he let all control slip.
Also, it clouded his rational thinking. Usually, he would wonder why she did not leave her room today. Was she sick? After all, he might have taken away some of her pain and feelings but…perhaps some of it returned? Since their bond was out of whack, he did not want her completely sick in her bedroom. He would not try to activate their bond again - because that worked out so terribly the last time - but he would bring her towel or a bucket or whatever else she needed. He was not a monster, he would not let her suffer all alone without anything.
He meant it when he said he would look after her.
The current problems that arose would not change that.
He was a man of his words.
Although, he had to admit, he was almost reluctant to go near her. Lately, that only brought trouble.
Sesshomaru turned his head to look at his clock; he still had half an hour before he had to meet his friend. He could not possibly leave without making sure she was alright. What if she got really ill while he was gone? It would not be good. He convinced himself it was the right thing to do and rose to his feet. This time, he was not being as quiet as last time as he headed down the hall and towards her bedroom. At first, he pressed his ear to the door; no sound. Hopefully she was not asleep.
He knocked twice.
"Yes?" a shaking voice replied.
"May I come in?"
Oh. Oh. She could not reply. What was she supposed to say? No, don't come in? He might find it suspicious. But, but she could not let him in…
He frowned. Why was she not replying? He turned the handle, wondering if something happened to her.
When she realized he was coming in anyway, she knew she was doomed. "Yes." Her voice was shaking even more.
As Kagome watched him come in she was mortified. She tried to hide her face with her blankets but she knew it would do nothing to hide the smell in her room. With any luck, the only scent he would detect would be that of her freshly washed sheets…
But it was not.
Before Sesshomaru even reached her bed he stopped dead in his tracks. He smelled that scent before but it was never anything like this. This was strong and - intense and - oh. There was only one explanation as to why her scent was this strong. And it made the whole situation very weird. Almost as if she was experiencing what he was feeling.
"I don't kn-ow why," she poorly explained. He knew, and she could no longer pretend like he did not. Sesshomaru was a rational person who did not do that sort of things. Perhaps if she explained it to him he would understand. It was not as though she was doing this on purpose.
"It just happens." That was even worst explanation. "Out of th-e blue."
Sesshomaru blinked as he watched her struggle to both hide herself and explain herself at the same time. In any other situation he would not have made any sense of her babbling but this time he knew exactly what she was talking about. Because he was inflicted with the same thing. For a while he thought it started with her and that she was the reason behind it and that along with the bond craving physical contact, it became too much. Apparently he was wrong. All of it was the bond's doing and she was just as much of a victim as he was.
He could walk away and not explained it to her but he could tell she was just as annoyed by the situation as he was.
It was neither of their fault and she deserved an explanation.
Although this time he would keep some distance between the two of them - he had no desire to experience a repeat of what happened the last time.
He approached her and stopped once he reached the edge of her bed; this was as far as he would go.
Kagome watched him, holding her breath. Why was he not saying anything? And worst of all, why was he coming closer? She was mortified and only wanted to be left alone with her shame.
"It is caused by the bond."
She frowned, confused. "What?"
"What you are experiencing is caused by our bond."
The bond was making her… horny? That hardly made any sense. Although, he proved to her that she knew very little about the whole mating thing more than once. At least it would explain a lot of things and it would make a few situations a whole lot less awkward.
"How?"
"As I have mentioned, our bond is not quite completed. It requires a physical action. The bond seems to grow with you. The stronger you get, the stronger it wants to be. It wishes for us to complete it."
Oh. OH!
Evidently, her face could get become a darker shade of red. The bond was triggering their hormones, their emotions so that they would want to — do it? Clearly their bond was not very smart or it would realize that there were not two people less compatible than Sesshomaru and her. Not only that but they were never do that. At least not with each other. And in case probably never with nobody.
"I-is it gonna s-stop?" This time her stutter was caused mostly by her embarrassment. It was a good thing one of them knew how to be stoic.
"I do not believe so." Unless they could find a way which he was going to try to do in a bit but bonds were - a link between people. Plus, they had to be careful; what if they messed with it too much? She was not completely healed and it could have a terrible outcome.
Although, he had to find some relief from this insane situation.
"Does it have to be that?" She looked away. "I mean could w-e do something else? Fo-r now?"
There was something she was slowly realizing, even though she would never dare to ask him about it; Sesshomaru was probably afflicted by this as well. How else would he know the answer so quickly? And it might explain a lot of things… like the broken tiles. If this was uncomfortable for her, she could not even imagine what it was like for him. Did he not mention never desiring to do this with anyone? These were probably not urges he was used to dealing with - and he had to now… because of her.
She had to help him find a solution.
"What do you have in mind?"
Her knowledge of the bond was worst than his but she proved that she could be logical; he respected her ideas and opinions.
"It wants to be com-pleted. It wants phy-sical contact." God, who knew these words could be so hard to get out. She felt like a high school girl. "Maybe if we could give it some cont-act, it would help. Until we can find a solution."
"What kind of contact?"
Why did he have to be so quick to answer? She needed time to recover from her distress. It was difficult having that kind of conversation with someone like Sesshomaru.
"Basics," she offered. "Holding hands?"
That was something even Sesshomaru could tolerate. They did that a few times though it was very brief. And there was time where she swore it felt like he tried to grab her hand. He had to be okay with this. Plus, it might help the both of them. Although she wondered how they were going to set up hand holding sessions.
Her theory was valid. And even if they did not find a solution perhaps it would give them some extra time. Once she was fully healed he would be more willing to experiment with solutions, if they were any. Unless his friend could give him a magic solution, they would have to use her idea. He was not disgusted with the idea of holding her hand. It happened before. He would ignore the time where he almost felt compelled to touch her though. He could deal with that. He much preferred holding her hand to what happened in the shower earlier.
"Agreed."
Wait. That was it? It was that easy? He did not even seem to be bothered by it! Was he not uncomfortable? Hand holding…that did not remind him of the little incident that happened earlier? Though she assumed they were simply not going to speak about the kiss. He did remember though; it was obvious with the way he was putting distance between them. He did know he would have to get a lot closer than that if he wanted them to hold hands, right?
"Okay." Uncomfortable, she shifted. "How - how do we do it?"
Clearly when the build up was too much, it got to drastic actions. Perhaps it would be best to ease their bond a little each day and that way there would be no repeat of previous situations. Sesshomaru decided it was the best course of actions and so he got a little closer and sat down on her bed. Closer but not too close. Considering what happened and the scent in the air, precautions had to be taken.
His body could not be trusted because of the bond.
Since she made no intention of moving, he reached out for her hand and intertwined their fingers. He had no problem doing what had to be done. Even though the room was dark he could easily see the blush on her cheeks. She was easily shamed. Why did it cause her to have such a reaction? She knew he had no feelings for her and she had no feelings for him. This was a way to fix their situation and nothing more.
Silence, pure silence.
Did he not know it made it worse?
Still, she could hardly see herself starting up a conversation at the moment. She could feel her hand being warm and sweaty and she cringed; hopefully she would not make this worse for him.
Although, she had to admit, Sesshomaru had a way of surprising her at every turn. He disliked humans but he saved her and he showed concern for her - even though he was doing it out of an obligation. He went out of his way to make her comfortable, or at least most of the time. He gave her a few speeches that truly made her feel better when she thought she hit her lowest point. And he touched her. Sesshomaru did not look like the kind of person that was comfortable when being touched. After all, he never even had sex. He liked his personal space. Yet, he did not even hesitate; he took her hand. He often was close to her. He kissed her and - and did not look disgusted.
Most of the time, he was cold and stoic.
Other times, she could see glimpse of the real him.
It was not much different from his regular personality, only little nuance.
It did make her enjoy his company though.
Even now, it should be very uncomfortable but, the more time passed, the better she felt. He normalized their situation.
Living here with him, being in this situation it made life different. He understood her and her past. There was no lying, there was no pretending. Everything around him was truth. He would never lie to her. He changed her life.
He also expected her to move on once she would be better. Even though she said she would not because she had to repay him.
But, as she sat there, her hand in his, she realized there might be another reason why she would not leave.
She was making a new life for herself and she was creating it around Sesshomaru.
Kagome included him in her new life.
He was her pillar.
-R-
- 11
- 12
- 13
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Red Lotus