Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

M.I.A	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Kouga/Kagome Views: 4873 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Chapter 12: You Can Leave Your Hat On
To say that she was panicked was the understatement of the year. If she could rip out her room tile by tile, piece by piece, she would. Her fingers were buried deep into her hair, fingernails scraping at her scalp. It was not possible. He could not have done that to her. He had not even asked her permission, he had not even asked her if this was what she wanted. If she kept pacing around in her room like, she was probably going to burn a whole through the carpet. But fuck it, she did not care. Because it explained so much - no actually he explained everything. She would be plagued by this for the rest of her life. She would never be free of him.
This was why she could not move on.
This was why his shadow lingered in her life despite the fact that she had not seen him in years.
He had made her his prisoner.
It was not fair. He did not want her, he did not want this and he sure as hell did not want this life. Well, she had a newsflash for him; she did not want this life either.
The moment he dropped the truth on her was enough to make her dizzy. She remembered pieces of it as though she was trying to re-call a movie. But that was not what she was trying to do. She was trying to remember her own life. Maybe she slapped him. Did she? She did not know anymore. She remembered how angry she was, the rage bubbling out of her and threatening to explode from within her. She probably did slap him. She was good at that. But then he left, because that was what he was good at anyway.
Now, she had no other choice. She truly had to get him out of her life. She did not care if something bonded them forever. She did not want to be stuck with him for the rest of her life. She did not care if she could never feel for anyone ever again. Is that how that worked? She did not even know. And she sure as fuck as not going to ask Kouga how it worked. She figured that the less time she spent in his presence, the better. He was not worth it. She would find him his money and she would make sure he would be out of her life forever. It was dangerous having him here and it was no wonder she could not ignore him.
He had made her his.
He never wanted her but he had the audacity of making her his. Who the fuck did he think he was?
He was a no good bastard. That was what he was.
A soft knock on her door forced her out of rage and she glared at the wooden door. She could not bear to talk right now. She could not even bare to look at anyone. She did not want to do anything. She had moments before when she felt like her life was taken from her, but it was nothing compared to what she was feeling now. She would never be free and she would never be able to do anything else but feel for him. He had to go. She did not know how she was going to pull it off but she knew one thing for sure; he had to go. He had to leave and she had to never see him again. She did not care if she was tied to him forever, she wanted nothing to do with him.
She would find more money. She absolutely had to do that. If she found enough money, she could guarantee that she would never have to see him again. After all, he already expressed how he felt about fatherhood and thankfully he wanted absolutely nothing to do with their son. Her son. It probably meant that he would not come back for him anytime soon. Actually, if he had his way, she was certain that he would have killed him. It was best in every aspect if he was very far from her and her son. Yes. She would gather more money, she would do more things she did not want to do, but she would guarantee herself a life free from him and his claws.
How easily he had pulled her back.
How easily had she gone back for more.
She could not allow herself to be this weak. She had her son and he was counting on her to provide for him, to love him. Yes, they were things she would love to know, things she was dying to ask but, she much preferred knowing less and not having him in their life. Plus, he was never going to help her or provide her with any kind of answer. What was the point? No, she had to get rid of him. She would never let herself lay beneath him again, she would never let him fill her up and stretch her up again. He was nothing more than bad news and he was too reckless. If it had not been for her reacting quickly, she might just have found herself pregnant again. He was not careful.
He did whatever he wanted and then he left a trail of chaos behind.
Well, she could not afford to be that kind of person and she could not afford to have someone like that around her. She had her son counting on her and she refused to disappoint him. She was far from being the mother of the year and they were a lot of things she wished she could do differently…
But in this case, she could do right by her son. She could make sure that he would never have to deal with her monster that was his father.
She would protect herself, and most of all, she would protect Haru.
-M-
"Come on pet, rise and shine."
Despite the awful morning greeting, there was no light casted upon his small prison. Morning through night, the only thing he was offered was darkness. Then again, he was locked in a cave. It was not hard to keep him isolated from everything. The days had begun to blur together and he no longer kept track. At the beginning, he chipped away at the wall, his internal clock helping him keep track but it was now gone. He could not. He had forgotten how long he had been here. Too long, that was the only answer he had. This hell on earth was a never ending nightmare and from the looks of it, it would be his life until they decided that they no longer needed him. There were parts of him that still wanted to fight, that tried to find a way out but the anger was no longer the same.
He had tried a lot.
And he was punished a lot.
Of course, every time he was punished, it only made him want to try harder. And harder. Until, there was no inch of his skin left to punish. They burned everything that could be burned, they slashed at everything they could. He was scabs, blood and scars at this point. He kept coming back for more for a while but now, his body was giving up. He might be a youkai but whatever they were giving him, whatever they were putting his body through was too much for him to recover. Injuries lasted, blood kept dripping and he kept on wasting away. How long could he sustain such injuries without dying?
Then again, he would only die if they let him die.
He had a feeling that no mater what he tried, they would not let him get away with it. It was not as thought he had control of himself, of his body. After the little stunts he pulled, they kept him on a tight leash and his movements were more than restrained. But he refused to let them decide if he died or lived. He wanted to be able to make that decision for himself. They stripped away his identity, they took away who he was as a person, who he was as a youkai… He wanted to have one thing left and that was his decision making. Of course, at this point, it changed every day. Sometimes he wanted to live, sometimes he wanted to die. But whatever his choice was, he wanted it to be his.
"Why so pouty?"
He had forgotten what her face looked like. They were trying to dull his senses. That left him blindfolded and unable to rely on his eyes to locate danger. And of course, they did not want him to use his ears, hence why they had busted one up pretty good. He could hear but because his healing was slowed down, he could not pick up the subtle noises anymore. The only thing he remembered now, the only thing that kept hunting his memories, was her voice. It was high pitch, drilling into his brain. Every time he heard it, his whole body would shudder. It remembered what would happen to him when she would appear. It was never good. It was pain, it was torture and most of all, it was a moment filled with her awful laughter.
She felt no guilt for what she was doing to him. She did not even think of him as a living thing. He knew that things between humans and youkais had gotten to a complicated point. Once Naraku disappeared, all thought everything would go back to normal… but it did not. The world always needed a bad villain and Naraku could no longer fulfill that role. Slowly youkais and humans wanted more. That caused them to destroy each other's territories. The youkais never thought much of it. After all, if they wanted to eliminate the humans, they could easily overpower them.
And that was their first mistake.
Somewhere along the way, humans became more cunning than ever. They planned, they created weapons and most of all, they did not play by honor. They would win, no matter what they had to do to obtain that victory.
They got sneaky, and they started snatching them away. It appeared that the humans were tired of sharing a world that they thought belonged to them. Instead, they wanted to have it all. But, in all their darkness, they realized that there were some of the youkais skills that could be useful. After all, they were strong, they were fast and they lived long lives. Lives that surpassed those of humans. And those evil humans wanted to harness that strength and power. At least, it was the conclusion he came up with - why else would he be fucking someone nearly every day? He was not sure if it was to figure it out through the babes, or if it was to mingle humans and youkais.
Although it worked out in the cases of some, hanyous did not always turn out great. Some did not live, some were monsters and some were out of control. If it was their intention…it felt like a risky business.
"You know I don't like it when you ignore me."
He could feel a sharp blade being dragged along side of his skin, piercing through fresh wounds and drawing out blood. His own blood was warm as it leaked down his back, and it caused a trail of goosebumps to appear on his skin.
"You know, I'm gonna think that your little friend isn't working."
His little friend was working just fine.
"All the others have managed to do something with it. You haven't."
Since he could not recall how long he had been here, he could not recall how many females he had fucked. His senses were so dull that he could not even tell if they were humans or youkais. At this point, it did not matter. Especially since he did not have the intention of procreating with none of them. She might think she knew everything there was to know about youkais but she did not know anything. The fact that he had yet to impregnate anyone was not a problem from his side. First of all, not all youkais were compatible, second, not all humans-youkais procreation worked. There were differences. Third of all, he had a certain control over it. He could withhold. Of course, he was not going to let her know that.
This could go either two ways for him. They might keep him alive longer to try and force him to procreate or they might get rid of him because they thought that he could not perform.
There was no way to tell how it would go.
"Maybe it's the girls," she said with a laugh. "Then again, you can't see them."
There was suddenly the sound of someone being thrown on the ground and he crimped his toes.
"On your knees girl."
It was not too long until he felt the familiar feel of a wet mouth on his cock. The girl wrapped her tongue around the head of his cock and immediately it swelled in her mouth. They had conditioned him, drilled him until no matter what, his cock would rise to the occasion. It never mattered how much pain he was in, how much he wanted to avoid it. Once there was a mouth or a cunt, he was here for it. Every day, they turned him more and more into their puppet and he was hopeless to stop it all. It was why he had to get out of here, or why he had to die. If this went on any longer, he did not know what he would turn into. Himself? Nothingness?
And then, he was pulled from his thoughts when his cock was slid into a tight, wet cunt.
It was the same thing. He was there, tied up to a chair while the girl rode his cock until he came inside of her. They repeated the same cycle. Every day.
Hands gripped at his skin but it was not the girl's hands. It was his torturer's hands. "Mm, doesn't that feel good. Pets like you like this no? Fucking in public?" She let her hands trail down his arms, grasping at his biceps. Every time she touched him, he felt bile rise up in his throat. He did not want her fucking hands on him. Sometimes she caressed him, sometimes, she pinched him. Sometimes pain, sometimes pleasure. She was in charge of what his body was feeling.
"You better knock this one up," she warned, her warm breath exhaled upon his sensitive ears. "We wouldn't to get rid of you now would we?"
Fingers tangled with her messy locks. "After all, you're such a good pet."
He was not a pet.
He was a fucking wolf.
The light of dawn pulled him out of his nightmare and he was forced to shield his eyes with his hand. He peeled his face off of the surface it had been pressed against - a cold metal bench it turned out - and he managed to sit himself straight. He was too sober for this. In his hand, he still held the crumble money he had taken from her. He had not even used it to drink. He had wanted to but he had kept reminding himself that it was to be used to leave. Because that was now his only option left. He had to get the fuck out and never come back.
She now knew as much as he did, and he knew everything she had kept from him. There was nothing else to be said and there was no reason to drag this on. She was not pleased about the mating, and he was not pleased about the child. They had both fuck up and it was best if they went their separate ways. This relationship was never going to work and none of those new details were going to change anything. Yes, he had claimed her. But it was hardly his fault. She was, his. His instincts, although more dormant than ever, were still present. Whenever he was going to be near her, he was going to get upset and he was going to want her. Nothing was going to change that.
He would do best if he left.
He did not need more nightmares and mistakes plaguing his already weakened sleep. He needed to forget about it all. Including her and the fucking boy. He would leave Japan and he would never return it was the best course of action.
He had to go now.
-M-
"Kagome, fuck."
She was at it again. Although at this point it did not mean anything… it was her doing anything she could… anything to remove the feel of him on her skin, anything to make her forget that he had forsaken her to be his for the rest of her life. Plus, she did need the money. The only way out of it all, was through him again. Fuck it. Yes, her boss might now think that she wanted more out of this, that she was into him when she was not but… she preferred dealing with the advances of her boss rather than to have Kouga in her life. Plus, she did have to think long term. She was not going to make it forever on her meagre salary and her options became more and more limited with time. Her boss might be the solution to many of her problems.
His chubby fingers were digging into her hips as he was helping her smack down upon his cock. Her bare breasts were bouncing in his face as she rode him as fast as possible. The quicker she could help him achieve orgasm, the more grateful he would be and the faster this would all be over. She gripped at his shoulders, hoping to give herself a better grip and balance as she slid his cock in and out of her. It felt different, much different than Kouga's. But they all did. Thoughts of him swarmed her mind as she could feel her boss' cock twitch inside of her. He was getting close. But she stopped caring about that for a moment. It was useless, he was useless.
Nobody would feel as good as he did.
Nobody would stretch her as good as he did.
She could hear moans coming out of her lips but she did not know if they were from the way his cock was sliding in and out or it was at the memories of Kouga fucking her.
Did it matter?
For once, it was a little better than usual.
He used his sweaty palm to smack her ass hard, probably leaving a mark. She heard him chuckle, probably out of pride. She did not care. He was getting what he wanted; he was fucking her. And in exchange, she was also getting what she wanted. Everyone was winning. It was the point right?
Then it happened. She felt him explode and come undone inside of the condom. It teased a warmth that she could not have, and one that she did not want regardless. She made a point to offer him a few more rolls of the hips, letting him bask in his orgasm, before she detached her body from his. He was panting, his head tilted backwards, as she sit herself down on his desk, her juices running down her legs. There was a time when this meant something. There was a time when she would not have opened her legs to anyone. There was a time back when she respected herself. And then, she re-met Kouga and he took whatever darkness she had inside of her and he ripped her apart with it.
And now she could never be who she used to be again.
"Are you sure you're doing this for the money," he asked before licking his lips.
He was not complaining that she was coming to him. He had wanted to help her, and he was more than happy to get a taste of her again. However, these two times were really close by. It was almost suspicious. Surely she could not have gone through all the money he had given to her already. There had to be something else going on. He reached out for her leg, and squeezed it. If she wanted more, he could give her more. He had been willing to do so from the very beginning. Even she had to have a weakness.
"What do you mean?" she inquired as she retrieved her skirt from the desk.
"I think you like it."
He thought she liked this? Well, she did need it sometimes. She had urges and thoughts in her head that she wanted to kill. But it was not sex with him that she needed or wanted. There were words she wished to speak to him, words that she wanted to shout but she found herself holding them all back. How could she? If she lost her temper on him, she would also lose the money and benefits that came with it. She might also lose her job. She could not risk all of this and she could not be jobless. She was the only responsible parent her son had and he was counting on her making it through this life. She could not let him down. Instead of speaking the words that burn her mind, she held back her tongue.
"If I disliked it, I wouldn't do it." If he knew her, if he knew anything about her, he would hear the lie in her words.
He chuckled. "I knew it."
But he did not know her. He did not know the first thing about her. All he was interested in was her ass, and the fact that she was much younger than he was. Even if she had taken him on his offer when they had first met… it would not have been a beautiful love story. She would have had to spread her legs open for him for a life of luxury. Yes, she was occasionally letting him plow her, but she tried to limit it and she only did it in times of necessity. If she were to become his - she would have do perform this kind of act all the time. She might hate herself, she might have shed everything that she used to be - but she was not there yet. She still had time before she had to sink lower than ever before.
"You know, I could help you a lot more than this." He was slowly tucking his limp cock back into his pants, his eyes never looking away from his prize.
"I think this works for now." She did not know how to detach herself from this situation without losing everything she had gained from their relationship. If she shot him down, he might not take her back. He might make her beg for it and she might have to slide in a few ones for free. She did not have that kind of time to waste.
"It's okay, I like when you play hard to get." He leaned forward and slowly reached out for her earlobe. His teeth grazed against it before he sucked on it, his breath fanning over her skin.
Kagome held back a shudder as she waited for the torture to be over. As he was sucking on her ear, as though it was turning her on, he lifted his left hand and slowly tucked in money in the inside of her bra.
"I think they deserve it, don't you think?"
At that moment, no amount of money felt sufficient enough. There should not be an amount of money that allowed this slim to slide his cock inside of her - and yet… she was letting him do it. She offered him no response and instead kept her lips tightly shut until he pulled away from her. She tugged her skirt down and then, vanished from his sight without ever glancing his way again.
She was dragging her own life through hell to get out of another hell.
Was any of it worth it?
Would this even free her from the monster that Kouga was?
Somehow, she doubted it.
-M-
The droplets of water hit the white ceramic while she kept her forehead pressed to the wall. Her hands were crisped into fists, fingers twirling with her long locks of hair. It did not matter how much time she spent in the shower, how much the water ran over her skin; she would never be clean. The first times, she used to spend hours and hours locked in the bathroom, scrubbing it all away. She gave up. She knew it was useless. Her skin had been bruised and red from the scrubbing. And now, now it was better. She would let the water run until she could fake cleanness and then she would get out. It was how it always went. There was only numbness left behind.
Plus her mind was distracted at this time. She kept thinking about him. She had left her money in a drawer, hiding it away. She did not want to use it, she wanted to keep it so that if he showed up again, she could give him more. She had to hold on to that hope that she could get rid of him.
She could not handle two assholes in her life. One was enough.
Suddenly, she was ripped away from her thoughts when she heard a faint knock on the door.
She knew that knock. She knew everything about that child as though she needed him to live.
And she did.
"Mommy's coming out," she said with a shaky voice.
It was one of those times. One of the occasions where she needed to push down her misery, hide away her darkness so that she could attempt to be the mother her child needed. Herself, her life - they did not matter. Only that tiny human being mattered and he needed a mother. She could not afford to waste another second on herself and her useless life.
He needed her.
Her shaking hands reached out for the knob and she turned off the water. She remained there for a beat, the water dripping from her cold body into the bathtub. Her hair hung over her face like a curtain and she inhaled deeply, her rib cage shaking. Pull yourself together, girl. She reached out for the nearest towel, grabbing the blue cotton fabric and wrapping it around her body. Once she was decent, she headed to the door. As expected, she found her son waiting for her on the other side of the door. Haru was sitting on the ground, shirtless, his arms wrapped around his knees as he watched her emerge from the bathroom.
She walked to him, her steps slow and careful and then, once she reached him, she bent down to his level and stared into his blue eyes. "What's wrong pumpkin?"
He pinched his lips together, rolling them, unsure. He did not want his mommy to get mad at him. He knew it was late and he knew he was supposed to be sleeping but he could not. "Mommy, there's a monster."
She arched an eyebrow. "A monster?" He had the regular kid phase where he thought a monster was hiding in the closet, but he had gone passed it. He did not often speak of monsters nowadays. "There's no monster."
He nodded. "I felt it. By the window."
Her heart stopped for a moment. She knew of monsters who crawled into her house through the windows; youkais. Granted, Inuyasha had been the one to do that but… could it be? Kouga had repeatidly said that he was not interested in her or in the child. He did mate her but - all this time… he had managed to stay away from her just fine. What had changed? Then again, she had expected him to come back, this was exactly why he had kept the money. The money. That was the reason behind his return. It had nothing to do with her, it had nothing to do with Haru. It was all about the fucking money so that he could get his stupid ass drunk. Of course. She was such a fool.
"Mommy promises that there isn't any monsters," she says as she leaned in to press a kiss to his forehead. No monsters, only a heartless bastard. "How about you sleep in mommy's bed, and mommy will go get dressed and join you after?" The closer she kept it to her heart, the better. She did not want anybody ever taking him away from her.
Haru nodded, joy flashing in his eyes. He loved to sleep with his mommy - he always felt safe. Happiness beamed on his face as he struggled off the floor to go jump on the bed. It took him less than a second before he was wrapped around the blankets, the fear nearly forgotten.
"Mommy will get dressed, and get some water, and she'll be back okay?"
He nodded again.
She grabbed her pyjamas from her chair, sliding the money in the palm of her hand at the same time and headed outside of the room. She would get changed in the downstairs bathroom. After all, she had something to attend to - or rather someone. She would give him the money and then no more. He would leave and she would never have to see him again. Hopefully it was one promise he could keep. She hurried downstairs, and quickly jumped into the silky yellow fabric, not bothered by the fact that she had forgotten to grab underwear. Once she was no longer bare, she hurried outside - her son was expecting her to return within a few minutes and she had no desire to let him down.
Plus, it might all be in her head. It could be that Kouga was not there. He might not be lurking into the shadows, waiting to bring her life down some more.
She grabbed the sliding door, gliding it open before stepping outside barefoot. The cold air wrapped around her skin while her blue orbs darted into the dark horizon, fearing she might see a familiar figure. She waited for a beat, thinking he would present himself to her.
But he did not.
The wind was howling, the leaves were rustling along the stoney path but there was no sight of him. She wrapped her arms around her body, trying to warm herself. Had she let her son get her caught up in his silly childish stories of monsters? Perhaps she had let her own fear fool her…
But this was not possible. It was impossible that he set her free.
And yet, she let herself hope.
She waited, and waited… but he never came.
-M-
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