Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

This is Gonna be Fun (uncensored)	By : szaugg Category: InuYasha > General Views: 38395 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
Disclaimer: I don�t own the rights to Inuyasha in
any form, nor do I get any lovely money from it.
A/N This chapter is dedicated to my old roommate, who showed me just how
drunk someone could actually get, and just how bad a hangover could really be.

Chapter 13 � What are we talking about
again?
She was dead. And in
hell. Definitely in hell, because there could not be this much pain in
heaven, and it had to be more pain than anyone earth could feel and
still be alive.
�Oooooh� she
moaned, and then clenched her teeth at the pain from moaning, and then moaned
again at the splitting pain in her skull that came from clenching her teeth.
She swallowed, and the taste alone made her want to vomit. Something had
obviously crawled into her mouth and died�a week ago.
�Kagome?� Inuyasha said quietly.
�Aaaagh, don�t
yell!� Kagome yelled, and then clamped her hands over her ears at the sound of
her own voice. �Please, just kill me.� She whispered piteously.
�Kagome, it-it�s not that bad, is it?� Inuyasha asked tentatively.
�How would you know? I�m in hell.� she moaned again.
�Hell? Oh c�mon now, that�s crap. Maybe
it�s not� Maybe it�s not what you want anymore, but it�s not hell.�
�It is hell. And
you�re here, and you won�t shut up so the pain won�t stop and my head feels
like it�s going to split apart and it is HELL.�
There was a minute of silence and then she
heard Inuyasha again. �Pain?
We�re � we�re talking about pain? Shit, why didn�t you say so in the first
place?�
� Of course I�m talking about pain! What did you think
I was�oooooh, I�m going to throw up!� she covered her
mouth with her hands as Inuyasha stood up and carried
her�somewhere. She wasn�t sure, and she had serious plans never to open her
eyes ever again, so it was just going to remain a mystery.
�Don�t puke on me! I just finished
cleaning up this morning, okay? No, hold it! No, not there! Not yet! There,
puke there!� Inuyasha sputtered frantically as Kagome
lost the battle with her stomach and heaved. When she was finally done, she
realized that she wasn�t the only one ill as she heard someone else retching
nearby. She hadn�t even formed the words to ask who it was when she heard Sango�s voice.
�I�m in hell.� Sango
moaned piteously, and Kagome could hear Miroku murmur
something to her. She leaned back against Inuyasha,
wishing her head would stop spinning long enough for her to open her eyes.
�What happened to us?� she whispered,
trying desperately to remember what she was last doing. �Were we poisoned?�
Inuyasha snorted way too loudly, and she thought she heard Miroku chuckle. �You and Sango
drank your weight in sake, that�s what happened.�
�Sake? Where did we��
�At the village?� She wracked her brain and only came up with a
headache the size of Tokyo.
Inuyasha continued. �With the
wedding party? Around the fire? While you made me sit like a leper as far from you as I could?�
�Wedding party?� Kagome repeated slowly.
�I think�I think I remember a wedding party. At a shrine��
Inuyasha swallowed and braced himself. �Yeah, you were at a
shrine.�
Kagome moaned low in her throat �No
more�it hurts too much to think. I don�t want to talk anymore, Inuyasha. Just lay me down somewhere so I can sleep until
my brain crawls back into my skull.� She begged. Inuyasha
carried her to the soft patch of grass that had been his seat for the previous
few hours. Poor Kagome, he thought, she looks like death on a stick.
Miroku helped Sango join Kagome
in a near coma on the grass and then stepped back next to Inuyasha.
�Would it be safe to say that Kagome-sama has not yet recalled all the events of last night?� Miroku asked Inuyasha quietly.
�No, but she�s remembered the shrine.� He
looked at Miroku�s relatively bruise free face. �I ain�t even gonna ask about Sango, �cause your arms and legs are still connected. �
�Yes, well, I�m not expecting it to last
forever, but we do seem to have a short reprieve.� Miroku
murmured.
Inuyasha didn�t bother to reply, as Kagome had started
moaning again, asking for water. 4 hours later, after 20 requests for water, 6
more bouts of vomiting, and one trip behind a bush that was mortally
embarrassing for Kagome and himself both, Inuyasha
was ready for the �reprieve� to end.
�What I wouldn�t give for Kagome to start
a screaming fight.� He said grumpily under his breath, watching as Kagome sat
gingerly in the late afternoon sun, eyes closed, leaning against the same tree
he had earlier.
�Truly?� asked Miroku
softly, watching Sango as she reclined next to
Kagome. �I must admit that I�m somewhat enjoying the situation at the moment.
It�s rare that Sango-sama depends on me for anything.
I find it rather sweet.�
Inuyasha gave him a look. �Have you lost too much blood
recently or something? You�re enjoying the fact that Sango
is moaning, miserable, and throwing up?�
�That�s not exactly what I meant��
�Then what the hell did
you mean?�
�Never mind.� Miroku muttered, shaking
his head. �Don�t you think it�s time you started a fire? It will be dark in a
few hours, and I�d like to eat before then.�
�Why don�t you and Shippou
make it, then, if you�re so keen on it?� Inuyasha
grouched, irritated that Miroku hadn�t answered the
question.
�Because Shippou
and Kirara left together as soon as the vomiting
started and since they haven�t returned yet, I�m going to go retrieve them.� Miroku said patiently. Inuyasha wavered
for a moment, irritation over being told to do something warring with the
potential annoyance of dealing with Shippou. The
realization that Miroku would be alone with both the
women if Miroku was in charge of the fire, and without Shippou to watch, decided him.
�Feh, fine, I�ll
start the damn fire. You just better get back soon, you damn houshi, because there is NO way I�m taking Sango to use the bushes, got it?�
Miroku nodded, smothering a smile, and headed off in the
direction he�d seen Kirara and Shippou
head out. Inuyasha stepped up warily to the two
women.
�Eh�I�m going to get some deadwood for the
fire. Do you�do you need anything?� he asked. Don�t need the bushes, don�t need the bushes. When they both carefully shook their heads, he let
out a sigh of relief and left camp hoping to find some good, dry wood. Once the
sounds of Inuyasha tromping around had faded, Kagome
and Sango turned slowly towards each other.
�What exactly happened last night?� Sango asked first, red rimmed eyes squinting.
�You don�t know?� Kagome asked, her own
eyes opening a crack. �I was really hoping� I mean, the last thing I remember
is a really strange marriage proposal.�
Sango chuckled slightly. �The young man who smelled like
sweaty sandals and swamp gas?� Kagome made a face.
�Uh huh. What in the world happened after that?� she
worried.
Sango shrugged uncomfortably. �I � I really don�t know.
Knowing Miroku�� she squirmed and blushed hotly. ��
I�m not sure I want to find out.�
Kagome scowled. �Really?
I want to find out. You can�t let Miroku
get away with�well, with Miroku, it could be
anything! How can you not want to know!�
�Miroku�s never done anything because I�ve always stopped him! What if I�� She swallowed and
lowered her voice to a whisper. �What if I didn�t stop him last night?�
Kagome opened her mouth to respond of course Sango would have stopped him, then paused. Drunk and secretly in love with someone� maybe
she was right. Really, thinking of it, what if Inuyasha
was the type that he�d have tried something�wouldn�t she have the same fears?
Thank goodness he wasn�t Miroku. He would never�
Images of the last few days flashed
through her head in quick succession: Inuyasha�s
kissing her by the well, his jealousy, his behavior after the rock throwing
incident. She shook her head, wincing a bit at the pain it caused. But no, he
would never� would he? Nooo, he wouldn�t. But if he
did, would she have�?
Had she�?
�We really, really need to find out what
happened last night.� She said fiercely as she scowled in the direction Inuyasha had walked. Sango nodded
miserably.
xxxxxxx
Inuyasha had a good sized fire going, along with a number
of fish broiling on green twigs, by the time Miroku
returned on Kirara with Shippou
in tow. He was at Kirara�s side before Miroku even had time to dismouont.
�We are so fucked, Houshi.�
Inuyasha started hissing. �What the hell were we
thinking? They�re going to kill us!�
Miroku slumped and glanced at the women, still seated
side by side. They returned his look with equally cold glares and he felt himself
start to sweat. �This doesn�t bode well at all.� He said under his breath.
�Doesn�t bode well!� Inuyasha sounded like he
was strangling. �They haven�t said a fucking word to me since I came back with
the damn firewood; they just sit there and stare at me! I know they�re just
waiting until we sleep and then�and then I don�t know what the hell they plan
to do, but I don�t think I�m gonna fall asleep and
find out!�
Shippou, with a fine sense of self-preservation, was
already headed over to a far corner of the camp.
�Shippou!�
called Kagome. �Come over here right now!� The little fox looked up in surprise
and then turned for help to Inuyasha and Miroku.
�Don�t look at me, runt! I�m not going
over there!� Inuyasha said quickly. Miroku merely made a shooing motion with his hands so that Shippou muttered under his breath about babies and cowards
as he slowly went over to Kagome�s side.
�Yes, Kagome?� he said, trying to make his
eyes look at big and beautiful as possible.
�Shippou, don�t
look so worried. We both know that you didn�t do anything you weren�t supposed to. Right?�
Shippou nodded furiously.
�Sango and I
would like to ask you something, though.� Kagome said sweetly. Sango nodded in agreement, although her hands fidgeted
nervously. �You were with Miroku and Inuyasha last night, weren�t you?�
Shippou nodded again, looking briefly over to the two men
who shrugged at him, although Miroku�s face had a
suspicious look on it.
�The whole night?� Kagome asked. After Shippou
nodded once again, Kagome smiled gently at him and her voice softened. �Then
you�re just the person we want to speak to. I�d like you to tell us everything
you remember from last night, all right?�
His little brow furrowed. �Last night? But why? You were there.�
�I know,� Sango broke in, trying and failing to achieve Kagome�s
sweet tone, �we simply�we�d like to hear a different viewpoint on what
happened, that�s all.�
�Well, I guess,
if you want��
By the time Sango
spoke, Miroku�s eyes had widened incredulously. �Inuyasha, they don�t remember!� he whispered furiously.
�What?�
�They don�t remember what happened! Look
at them, they don�t remember anything from last night or they wouldn�t be
asking Shippou about it!�
�Don�t be a fucking idiot, Miroku.� Inuyasha spat back
quietly. �They were there; of course they remember it!�
Miroku looked at him with half lidded eyes. �You�ve never
been really drunk before, have you, Inuyasha?� he
asked
�Of course not. You can�t defend yourself when you�re drunk. Idiot. And what the hell does that have to do with it?�
�Trust me. They had so much sake that they
don�t remember what happened! We�re saved��
Shippou�s voice rang across the clearing. ��and both of you
were acting really funny, and then you looked at Inuyasha,
Kagome, and waaaaaaaah!� Shippou wailed, flat out on the
ground and rubbing at the growing lump on his head. Miroku�s
staff lay on the grass next to him.
�My apologies, Shippou.� Miroku called out. �There was a fly.�
�Waaaaaaah. Kagome! Miroku hit me!� Sango�s gaze sharpened as she stared at the innocent eyed
monk.
�Don�t worry, Shippou.�
Kagome said in a rather ominous tone. �He won�t get a chance to hit you again.
It�s all right.� She picked him up to cuddle in her arms. �Now, what were you saying?�
�Fish is ready.� yelled Inuyasha frantically, holding up the skewered fish as Miroku walked closer to Sango and
Kagome.
�Yea! Fish!� Shippou tried to jump out of Kagome�s arms, but they
tightened around him.
�Fish later!�
�But I�m hungry!� Shippou
whined.
�If you tell us what happened last night,
you can have my and Sango�s fish, too, as soon as
you�re done.� Kagome promised.
�Really? Yea!�
�I�m eating every last fish if you say
another word, Shippou!� Inuyasha
threatened, holding the entire bunch over his open mouth, and Miroku smacked himself in the forehead.
Wonderful, now they�d know something had happened involving both the women. They might have passed
it off as a few extra gropes on his part if they�d played it right. It
could at least have bought them some time, but now� �Inuyasha,
you idiot!� he growled under his breath, and then, seeing Sango
watching him, waved at her. �We�re doomed.� He said quietly through teeth
clenched in a bright smile.
Kagome, in the meantime, was staring at Inuyasha with her mouth open in shock. Not just Miroku, but Inuyasha was trying to stop Shippou
from talking? So he had done something he didn�t want her to know about!
What in God�s name had they done last night?
Shippou�s mouth had closed like a trap as he watched his
dinner in jeopardy. Kagome narrowed her eyes at Inuyasha
furiously.
�Shippou, if you
ever want to have ninja snacks ever again, start talking right now.� She said.
Shippou�s eyes swung to Kagome�s in sudden fear.
�No ninja snacks?� he asked piteously. �But�but� but what about my fish?�
�No fish now�or no ninja snacks ever
again.� Kagome said, unsympathetic.
Looking from Inuyasha
to Kagome and back again, Shippou finally sighed and
turned to Kagome. �All right, Kagome. You��
�I will never fucking hit you again if you
keep your big trap shut, Shippou!� Inuyasha promised, tossing the fish to the ground as he
took a step closer.
�No more ninja snacks!� Kagome reiterated.
Shippou immediately opened his mouth again and Inuyasha growled in frustration.
�If you don�t shut up, I will make sure to pound you every damn day until the moment I die, Shippou! I swear it!�
�You will NOT!� Kagome yelled at him
angrily, tossing Shippou on the ground and standing
up to glare at Inuyasha. Shippou
got woozily to his feet.
�I sure as hell will!�
�Why won�t you let him talk!� she yelled
with fists clenched at her sides. �What happened last night, you big jerk? What
did you DO?� Inuyasha flushed and Kagome grew
frantic. �You didn�t� You couldn�t have�� he flushed more and Kagome started
choking. �And Shippou was there the whole time�? How
could you?� She felt her face heat unbearably. It was almost a relief to hear Sango�s voice yell out.
�Houshi! What do you think you�re doing!�
Kagome turned and saw Miroku walking away from Sango as fast as he could, Shippou
tucked under his arm.
�My apologies.� He panted back over his shoulder. �He has to use
the bushes now. So sorry. Be right ba�oooomph.� Miroku was knocked to
the ground as Sango�s hiraikotsu
hit him in the back. Shippou went flying and landed
on Kirara on the other side of the camp. He scrambled
over and hid on her far side. He was getting pretty good at hiding these
past few days, he thought.
Sango stalked furiously over the prone monk as he tried
to crawl out from under her boomerang. �You let Inuyasha�with
Kagome? While you were there! You are the lowest, most
disgusting��
�It�s not what you�re thinking!� Miroku sputtered frantically.
�Oh really?� Sango asked,
disbelieving.
�I swear it!�
�Hell, there�s no way he could do anything
about Kagome, anyway, not when you wanted to do it at the same time.� Inuyasha muttered.
Miroku let out a strangled moan as Sango
screamed.
�Whaaaaat!�
�Not THAT! He doesn�t mean it that way!� Miroku yelled, holding his hands over his head as Sango reached him and brought the hiraikotsu
down on top of him again.
�I do too mean it.� Said Inuyasha, aggrieved. �I don�t know why you�re so mad, Sango. C�mon, at least Miroku made sure it was him and not one of those other
men.�
�OTHER MEN?�
�You aid is NOT NEEDED, Inuyasha!� Miroku yelled before
looking up at Sango. �Sango,
I did not do
anything! I wouldn�t take
advantage of you like that, in that condition.�
Shippou piped up from behind Kirara.
�He�s telling the truth, Sango.� Sango
looked over to him, determined he was sincere, and started to breath a huge sigh of relief. Oh, thank the Gods. �He only did exactly what you asked him to. He even
made sure to do it last night, just like you wanted. I remember!�
Sango stiffened again and her eyes positively glowed. �I
am never going to forgive you, houshi!
NEVER!� she kicked him in the side as she yelled, and as she drew her foot back
again, he saw the direction of her gaze and frantically rolled away, trying to
protect the most important part of his anatomy.
�Not there!� he yelled. �I don�t have a
child yet, remember! Not there! I still need an heir!� She stopped.
�An heir! You think I care if you get an heir,
you stupid, lecherous, back-stabbing pig? You better just hope that
you�ve already got a child on some poor woman, because when I get done with
you, there isn�t going to be anything to make a child with!� she scowled
and kicked him in the back, rolling him over once. �This will save you from
dying anyway, because if I have to hear you ask another woman to bear your
child, I�m going to kill you myself!� She clenched her fists.
�Sango!� Miroku tried to scrabble
back away from her and protect his vital parts at the same time.
Inuyasha shook his head. �Eh, don�t know why you keep
asking women anyway, Monk. The way you womanize, you lech, you probably got the
last poor woman you seduced pregnant anyway.�
Sango froze, her foot in mid-air. The last woman
he seduced? But that was� �Oh no. No, don�t
say that. There�s no way- No, fate would
not be that cruel.� she sat down with a thump and stared into space, a hand on
her stomach. �OH DEAR GODS.�
Miroku stopped scrabbling and watched her carefully from
a protective fetal position on the ground.
Kagome reached the same conclusion as Sango, and almost instantly realized the implications for
her own situation. �What? But that means that I could be� NO, I�M
NOT READY YET!� Inuyasha looked back at her with huge
eyes.
�Uh, Kagome?�
�What if we have a baby, you stupid�dog! I
know you don�t even know what to do�how to stop�AAAAARRRRGGHH!�
Inuyasha�s face flamed as he had a coughing fit. �A baby?!�
he blurted, his voice high and panicked. �We don�t have to think about that
YET, do we? �cough choke cough - Isn�t it a little early to think about
something like � cough cough wheeze - that?�
�Early? EARLY?
It�s too late, you dumb jerk! I HATE you!� She picked up a rock from the ground
and flung it at him, missing him completely. She growled and did it again, only
to have him block it with his arm.
�Kagome, what are you��
�Stupid�ass�can�t believe you�should have
had you neutered!� she spat furiously as she started flinging rocks, twigs, and
everything she could get her hands on at Inuyasha�s
head.
�Stop it! Damn it, Kagome, cut it out!
What the hell do you think you�re doing!� He yelled
out as he continued to smack the various projectiles out of the air before they
nailed him in the head. She finally stopped, running out of ammunition.
�I can�t believe you would take advantage
of me like that! I can�t believe it! I thought�I thought you cared more about me
than that, Inuyasha.� She said, losing steam. Inuyasha laid his ears back and stared at her.
�Kagome, it�I�� he looked at her eyes,
which were rapidly going from anger to betrayal, and guilt swamped him. �I�m
sorry.� He whispered. �I�look, I�ll stay away and you�you can pretend it never
happened.� He offered sadly.
�And what do we do if there�s a baby? You
can�t just walk away from that!�
�A baby?� he repeated stupidly.
�Yes, a baby.� She said. �You know, cute
little things that you get from�from�from what we did.� Her voice trailed off.
He still looked confused. �From getting
married? Uh, Kagome, do you even know how babies are made?� he asked tentatively. Kagome
tried to answer, but couldn�t seem to get the words out. �Kagome?
Kagome, are you all right?�
�M-married!� she finally managed. �We�re
married? That�s what happened last night?�
�Well a�course.
What the hell did you think we were talking about?� She simply stared at him,
stuttering incoherently, then suddenly looked over at Sango, who was still sitting in a daze on the ground. �Then
that means that Miroku and Sango��
�I told you it wasn�t what you were
thinking.� Miroku said, still laying
on the ground. �Sango, there is absolutely,
positively no way that you, or Kagome, are going to have a baby from the events
of last night. Now, maybe someday�� Sango stared at
him, seeming more horrified by the new revelation than she had been by her
previous misconception.
�We�re MARRIED?� Miroku
nodded and smiled sheepishly at her. �And you let me think we had� �
�I tried to tell you!� he said quickly.
�You sneaky, cowardly,
�come back here, Miroku-sama!� Sango yelled out as the monk took the better part of valor
and started crawling away from her again. �We�re not done talking about this!�
She got to her feet and watched as he stumbled to his own, backing away from
her with his hands up as though holding her back.
�Now, Sango,
you wouldn�t want to�� she grabbed the hiraikotsu
from the ground and his eyes started darting for safety frantically. �You- you
wouldn�t hit your husband now, would you? You wouldn�t want to be
disrespectful! AH!� he ducked and the boomerang narrowly missed his head. �Sango! Please, be
reasonable!� He leapt to the side as the boomerang swept by him again. �Damnit.� He started running, his
robes flying out behind him, with Sango close in
pursuit.
Kagome drew her gaze from the battling
couple and stared stupidly at Inuyasha. �We�re married.�
�Uh, yeah�didn�t we just get through
fighting about this?� Inuyasha asked, confused and
little nervous.
�No, you big dummy.� Kagome said slowly. �THIS is not what we�ve been
fighting about. THIS is something completely different than what we�ve been
talking about for the last 10 minutes!�
�You don�t have to yell, dammit! If we weren�t fighting about this, then what the
hell have you been so mad about all this time!� he asked, starting to get
irritated.
�Are you telling me you honestly don�t
know?� she asked skeptically, ignoring the high pitched yelps coming from the
patch of forest Miroku and Sango
had disappeared into.
�Why the fuck would I ask if I knew?�
She stared at him a moment, biting her
lip. �Inuyasha, you are really dense sometimes, you
know that?�
�What the hell are you talking about!� he
yelled.
Kagome shook her head. �It doesn�t matter.
Just�we�re married?� she asked one last time, starting to blush a little.
�YES! I already told you that!�
�I�m just making sure!� she yelled back.
�I�m just�how in the world did we get married?�
�Uh�I�m not sure you�re gonna like it��
�Inuyasha�� she
warned.
�Fine. Fine then. You really
want to know? Okay, well, um�you see��
Good luck, said his conscience. Try to
talk your way out of this one, dumbass.
Shut up. I�m talking with my
wife here, asshole.
Yeah, take that tone. See how far it gets ya. I�m just gonna sit back here
and enjoy watching the fireworks. Jerk.
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This is Gonna be Fun (uncensored)