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And You, My Brother	By : Arianawray Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 15027 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
Chapter XIII: Like a guilty thing
One does not make up for two hundred years of treating one's brother like vermin by making sexual advances to him, Sesshomaru thought as he sat in the middle of a forest that night, rebuking himself with the sternest tones in the coldest voice he could muster in his head.
His pack was resting in the woods, ostensibly to allow Ah-Un to recover from the flight to the south and back, and for Jaken to settle his nerves after tolerating the humans for a day and a half. But once he caught the scent of his brother's tears on his fur, he knew that he too was in need of stillness and time to think.
About Inuyasha. And his own stupidity.
It was his fault. Inuyasha was a child compared with himself, a child who simply wanted the family he had never had. But he, Sesshomaru, had betrayed him in the worst way by offering him what he longed for, before foolishly rocking the delicate balance of their new relationship by groping him.
He would never show it, but it shook him to think that the lad had actually offered himself to him for fear of losing him, believing that the brother who was being kind to him for the first time in his life would abandon him if he didn't do what he wanted.
He could still feel the kiss Inuyasha had planted on his lips, uncertainly, his hands reaching round to the back of Sesshomaru's neck as he prepared to deepen the contact before he stopped him. He had not wanted to stop him – he'd wanted to taste those lips, plunge his tongue into his mouth – but he had stopped him anyway. He'd had to, if he was to retain any self-respect, and prevent Inuyasha from surrendering body and soul to someone he only loved as a brother. That would lead to guilt and disgust, and he could not accept the thought of the boy looking at him through eyes that held only a contempt born of self-loathing.
He wanted him to be what he was at his best: brash, brave and wild, and he would move heaven and earth to prevent the hanyou from deteriorating into the plaything of a demon like himself, with no life left in his eyes, merely a physical shell driven by someone else's lust.
It had been quite a journey, Sesshomaru reflected, from decades of wanting to kill the detested half-blood brat, to coming to terms with his existence and grudgingly acknowledging his courage and strength, to feeling responsible for his safety on the night of the new moon, then finding himself catching his breath as he registered for the first time later that night, and the morning after, just how beautiful this creature before him was.
Not merely beautiful, but adorable too, and a worthy companion.
Sesshomaru had certainly found other creatures pleasing to his senses before. He had had females long ago, when he deemed it practical to learn all that was necessary about various youkai of the other sex who might some day prove useful as mates and bearers of his offspring. He had also considered certain males attractive in the past, but as none could serve any purpose in his plans, he had paid them no attention.
Although that Sesshomaru had been a being who denied himself nothing he wanted, he had also been a ruthless thing who would never indulge in what would weaken him. If he ever wanted something that would not further his ambitions, he would simply, through sheer force of his cold will, cease to want it.
After those early explorations had taught him all he needed to know, he had decided that copulation and love would not be worth his time until he wished to take a mate – and even then, love might not be necessary. He could not recall anyone whom he considered worth so much as a second look for hundreds of years, until he set eyes on Kagura.
By then, Rin had cracked open his heart with her trusting, childish ways, but it still surprised him to discover that he was capable of finding Kagura interesting for her spunky character masking a chasm of pain, her driving desire to get away from Naraku, her manipulative nature paired with a peculiar compassion, and perhaps most of all, for her interest in him. He had not been able to save her, and did not know if they would have formed any deeper connection had she survived, but it was futile to dwell on someone he could not resurrect.
Inuyasha, however, was very much in the world of the living, and there was time to remedy what he had impulsively damaged. He wished he did not have to. His hanyou half-brother had in sixteen days turned his emotions upside-down, drawing him into a world in which he found himself smiling, talking as he had never talked before, working with humans, and unable to keep his hands off the lad, and he wanted it to continue.
But that was out of the question. He could not either lose or destroy Inuyasha now, so he had to keep him, and the best way to keep him was to simply be to him the brother he had never been.
Could he exercise that much self-control? He remembered initially going to the well with only the intention of beating some sense into Inuyasha for pining uselessly after his lost miko, but finding himself thinking instead: Could you not live for me as well as for her?
He thought of what he had been charmed by: Inuyasha's sudden self-consciousness as he realised Sesshomaru was looking at him naked in the pool; his protective playfulness with Rin and Shippo; his nurturing instincts with the children and himself, feeding them pears and offering him rabbits; his wiping down his hair and fur; his snarls as they battled the bear youkai; that lovable, flustered air as he tried to figure out what Sesshomaru wanted from him.
It would be a kind of hell to resist all that and just watch over him, hands-off. He had in fact believed that he would be able to wait, and proceed softly, give himself time to be sure about what he wanted, time to observe his responses to him – and that had all been slashed to ribbons in one unthinking moment when Inuyasha seemed so irresistible that he had just grabbed him. And felt him freeze.
He should have waited. He should have kept his hands to himself. Too late now. Perhaps another two hundred years of discipline and patience would recover the situation, rebuild the trust, stop his heart from feeling as if it would burst. Bokusen'o the old tree demon, whose branches had given Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga their scabbards, had been wise and knowledgeable enough to tell him of his "blood of ice" which meant he never lost control of himself in battle; but that ancient piece of flora had obviously not frolicked much with forest nymphs in the last millennium, or he would have taken care to mention that all the taiyoukai iciness in the world didn't count for much when it came to love.
It served him right, truly, for having been so cruel to Inuyasha for so long. This would be his punishment – to look upon and protect what he could not touch, not in the way he yearned to.
The next time they met, he would show him how things would be from now on, what life would be like with a normal, responsible demon brother who wasn't going to jump his bones at every opportunity.
He had mitigated two hundred years of error with sixteen days of tenderness, but then compounded them by one moment of madness. Possibly another few centuries of penance were to be his lot. But he would prove himself, over time.
All he needed was time.
** *** **
"I don't believe it," Inuyasha muttered.
He had first heard shouts and cries from the corner of the village near the fishing pond while resting in a large sugi tree the morning after Sesshomaru had left, and leaped over to find out what was going on. And he had barely been able to believe his eyes when he saw the very apparition that so many others had already spotted in this region, and which he had not set eyes on until now.
"Hanyou!" the man who took charge of breeding the fish called out to him when he spotted him. "Where's Kaede-sama? And the houshi? We need them quickly!"
"They're back at Kaede's hut!" Inuyasha told him, placing himself between the apparition and the villagers. "Someone go and get them! I'll keep an eye on this thing!"
Inuyasha stared at the weird-looking being, an artificial creature made to look like a large-eyed, long-lashed child with peculiarly androgynous facial features, black hair tied back in a simple tail, and whose dressing – undoubtedly as insubstantial as itself – was crafted as a combination of a plain black hakama that came halfway up the child's shins, and a kind of short golden yukata-cum-haori which hovered at mid-thigh, if something so ethereal could be considered to have thighs. Its feet were unshod, and it held a vessel in its right hand.
Shippo, who had been up in the tree with Inuyasha, whispered to him in a trembling voice: "That's the one we saw at Sango's village! It looks even clearer in daylight than it did that night… ah… Inuyasha, it's coming towards us…."
It was. With surprising speed, the apparition glided over even as Shippo was speaking, and came very close to them. Shippo, quaking, shrank away, but it ignored him after a single investigatory sniff and turned its attention to Inuyasha. It took a sniff, then another, and moved another few inches towards him.
Inuyasha took a step backwards, not wanting the thing to touch him, despite all that he had heard about its insubstantiality. But it was taking an interest in him, and him alone, and that was when he realised that he could draw it away from the frightened villagers, whom he could hear a good distance behind him, screaming about ghosts and spirits.
"Shippo, maybe I can lead this damned thing back to Kaede's hut," he murmured. "It seems to be following me, for some weird reason."
"Uhhhh…." was the only sound Shippo managed to produce in response as he backed further away.
What else Shippo intended to utter, Inuyasha did not know, because something completely unexpected happened right then: the apparition spoke, in words that were very soft, but which fell like a thunderbolt on the half-demon and the kitsune: "Hanyou, my master can open the well for you." Its speech was whispery, wavery and uncertain, strangely accented, as if it were a thing trained to mimic sentences without knowing what they meant, but what it had said was clear enough.
What? How did it know about the well? How did its master know about the well? What was going on? No one who had ever seen it had mentioned it speaking, so why was it speaking to him, of all beings?
The questions whirled in the sudden maelstrom within Inuyasha's head, but he was gripped by what it had said. "Who is your master? What does he know about the well? What do you mean he can open it for me?" he demanded.
Again the whispery voice came: "He can open the well for you." And the apparition sped off through the village in the direction of the well, causing the villagers to scatter in a panic as it moved towards them.
There wouldn't be time to get Miroku here before it was gone, Inuyasha realised. Sprinting after the apparition, he shouted back to Shippo: "Tell Miroku it's going to the well! I'm going after it!"
"Inuyasha!" Shippo screamed. "Don't go! Something's wrong! It can't open the well! It's a trap!"
"I know, you idiot! What do you think I am? Stupid? I'm just keeping an eye on it!" Inuyasha growled back before jumping through the air after the thing that was floating swiftly away. Good thing he was the one chasing it, he told himself, because it was moving so swiftly that none of the villagers, or possibly even Shippo, would have been able to keep up with it. But how in all the hells of the netherworld does it know about me or the well?
He raced after it to the well, where it stopped and turned to face him. Inuyasha landed on the grass several feet away from it, and cautiously approached the well, into which he took a tentative peek.
"How do you know about this well? How does your master know about it? Have you been messing around with it? What did you do to it?" he questioned.
But all the apparition would whisper was: "My master says he can open the well for you."
"This well?" Inuyasha demanded angrily. "What does he know about this well?"
Again, the same refrain: "My master can open the well for you."
It was indeed as if it had been taught to say certain things without comprehending them, or being able to respond to another's inquiries.
"My master says you… must go… in…" it said, slowly and unrhythmically.
"Whaaat? You don't think I'm falling for that!" Inuyasha snapped angrily. "What's he done to the well? Are you able to answer my questions?"
"Go in," the apparition whispered.
"Absolutely not," he growled. But out of curiosity, he peered into the well. And something did feel different about it – there was a feeling of crackling energy rising from its depths, as if the portal might be back in operation. It felt odd, however, and something wasn't right, and he was as sure as hell not jumping in.
Although… what if the apparition's master had somehow opened the portal, and had gone over, and Kagome was in danger? What if something bad was happening to her right now?
Inuyasha leaned over the well casing to take a good look at the bottom of the well and take a deep sniff, and he felt something all right, smelt that something had been done to it, but he had no idea what.
That was when he felt a cold force grip his ankles with alarming strength, and with a surprising swiftness, he was tipped headfirst into the well.
I thought that accursed thing couldn't touch us! Isn't it supposed to be insubstantial!? were the thoughts that sped through his mind as he fell… and kept falling… and something was very wrong, because this did not feel like the portal that had always led him to Kagome… and he faintly heard Miroku and Shippo and Sango screaming his name from a distance as he fell through….
** *** **
They were too late. Miroku, Sango and Shippo raced up to the clearing, Kaede limping far behind them, only in time to see a flash of red hakama as Inuyasha's legs and bare feet disappeared down the well. The apparition – that thing – had been standing behind him, but from where they were, with the well between them, they could not tell if Inuyasha had jumped (unlikely, as he had always leaped in feet-first), or been tipped over – but how on earth could an insubstantial creature touch him to do that?
Too late to stop Inuyasha from falling now, but Miroku could still do something about the apparition. Whipping out the sutras he and Kaede had prepared, he hurled them like darts towards the apparition even as Inuyasha was falling, and they stuck on the child-like being, held it in place and dispersed into a barrier around it, from which Miroku hoped it would not be able to escape.
"Inuyasha!" he yelled as he raced up to the well and stared into it. His human eyes could not see the very bottom of it, but Shippo came up next and hopped onto the casing.
"He's not there!" the kitsune cried. "There's nothing there – could he have gone to Kagome's time?"
"Inuyasha!" Sango screamed into the well's depths, as if her voice could pull him back. "There's no way this could lead to Kagome's time – something's wrong!"
She rounded on the apparition, standing there trapped in the barrier, and demanded of it: "What did your master do to the well? Where is our friend?"
But the child-thing looked at her blankly, curiously, and asked: "Friend….?"
Kaede finally reached them, leaning on her walking stick and gasping for air, and heard what they had to say. She asked the apparition: "Where did the hanyou go?"
"In… the well," it replied.
"Where does the well lead?"
"What is… lead?" it asked innocently.
"Did your master put a spell on the well?"
"My master says he can open the well."
Kaede shook her head at the others. "It was obviously instructed to memorise certain words to say to Inuyasha, but I doubt that it knows much more."
"How were we able to trap it, anyway?" Miroku asked, his voice unsteady with fear and worry over where Inuyasha had gone. "I didn't really think the spell would work this effectively."
"Houshi-sama," Kaede said calmly. "Look at the apparition. Do you not see that it has become much more substantial than it seemed to be when we last saw it? It appears to have taken on a more solid form. If, as you say, Inuyasha may have been pushed into the well, then the master of this thing may have placed more spells on it to make it more physically solid so that it would be able to do just that. And our spells, as we agreed, would have worked better on more substantial beings. Well, it has now become more substantial, and we have it."
"But how can we question it when it doesn't seem to know how to answer our questions?" Sango asked in distress, clutching the well casing. "How will it tell us where Inuyasha is?"
"All we can do is try, and be patient," the miko replied.
"We can't even reach Sesshomaru now, because Inuyasha was the only one of us who might have been able to track him by scent and be fast enough to get to him," Miroku murmured.
Kaede sighed. "At least we have the apparition. Sesshomaru said he would return in a few days. Let us hope we can hold it until then. We still have enough sutras prepared to keep renewing the barrier for some time."
They had the apparition indeed, but it did not seem as if it would be able to give them the answers they needed. It was trapped here, but Inuyasha was gone.
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And You, My Brother