Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Red Lotus	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 20070 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 7
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
A/N: I don't really have an excuse for the delay. Life, man. It sneaks up on ya and before you know it, months went by. I'm sorry though.
Not beta and I barely re-read it. I'm trying to catch up on all the lateness I've accumulated. T.T
Red Lotus
Chapter 13: The Proffering
"So, do you have any plans? I mean for after your wife's recovery."
Sesshomaru held in a sigh of annoyance as he kept his back turned to the annoying lady - whatever her name was - that worked next to him. When he first began working at the bank, she would talk to him. Then, after he clearly ignored her, she seemed to move on. Apparently his recent wedding brought back her stubbornness. Unfortunately for her, his mating to Kagome inflicted him with too many human emotions and he had even less patience than before. It took all of his self-control not to tell her to shut it.
"No," he coldly answered.
Behind him, the girl was exasperated. She gave up on him because she thought he either had no interest in girls or he was one those… asexual. Then some girl came out of nowhere and snatched him away! If she had known she would have never gave up on him! It was obvious he would have eventually fell for her! Nonetheless, now her plans were back in action. Any man could be strayed away from his wife. Especially him. Like all the other girls she strongly believed he married his wife because she was dying. He probably did not want to be stuck with her forever.
If they did not make any plans, like a romantic get-a-way, it had to mean… it was not going great?
"Really? That's so weird. I would have thought you'd want to spend lot of time with her now that… you know she has time."
He fisted his hands before grabbing his files and rapidly turning around, shocking her. "I have no time for gossip."
Sesshomaru was well aware of what she was trying to do but she would not obtained a reaction out of him. Even with his slipping control, he rather she did not get what she wanted. Plus, she was not worth his time. How could she even think she was worthy of him?
He marched all the way to his cubicle and loudly dropped the files on his desk as he arrived. Once he sat down in his chair, he leaned back. He was not getting any peace of him at his apartment and now it was the same at work. If he did not find a way to clear his cluttered mind, he might have to snap one of those useless human's neck to get the pressure down.
There were too many foreign invasions in his life and he despised it. Kagome, though it was not her fault, was constantly by his side. There was always touching. It was not exactly his favourite pastime. It was a necessity but one he very reluctantly did every time. It began with touches and now there were kisses. And emotions, many strange emotions swirling inside of him. The more contact he had with Kagome, the harder they were to deal with - it was impossible. He was only grateful that he had yet to use disgraceful methods again to take care of his…overload of problems.
Although, at this point he would not be very surprised if he had to resort to that shameful act again. His body was not quite acting as it should and Sesshomaru knew he now had to be ready for everything.
He ran his fingers through his hair before tilting his head to the left to look at the clock. He still had five minutes to go before he was free. Although at this point the word freedom had lost its meaning. He was well aware that the situation was also difficult for Kagome but she had alone time at home while he was working. He assumed that was helpful.
He watched the clock, the seconds ticking away until finally it was time.
Sesshomaru put away his files, grabbed his leather suitcase and left as quickly as he could. He wanted to make sure he would avoid another questioning from that annoying lady. Four years working with her and he still could not remember her name. It was how unimportant she was - despite what she thought. The only thoughts she occupied in his mind were those of annoyance.
Rapidly, he was sitting in his car and for the first time it was quiet in his head. Nobody was speaking, no background noise, no annoying presence. It was him and silence. Perhaps the ride home could be his salvation. He waited a few minutes before starting his car, clearing his mind before Kagome's emotions filled it, and then, he was on his way home.
He did not put any music, he enjoyed the quietness right up to the moment where he pulled into his parking spot. His steps were slow as he made it to the door and he inhaled deeply before opening it.
Inside, he found the same thing as always; Kagome sitting on the couch, reading some book for her online classes.
As soon as she heard his footsteps, she raised her head and offered him a smile. "How was your d-day?"
"Annoying," he said as he carefully put away his suitcase. Usually he offered a basic answer that would lead to no more question but he had no patience to put up a front today.
Still, it seemed she understood his frustration since she did not ask anything else.
"How was yours?"
She raised her book. "Homework all day." School was harder than she remembered, even for online classes. Granted, she did not attend much school before she got sick. Perhaps it was why she had to work so hard simply to keep up. It was using up all of her mental energy and she often found herself exhausted. Going through the day with her cancer still present was already exhausting. But she would not complain because she was alive. And Kami knew the situation was already awkward enough between Sesshomaru and her.
Kagome tried her best to act as always but - it was more and more difficult each day. She appreciated it and he made it as normal as possible but…
How was she supposed to talk to him, look him in the eyes when mere moments ago they were holding hands and kissing. Although, there had not been any kissing. Not since that one time before they knew their bond wanted them to well… bond. At the thought of it, her cheeks flustered. She still prayed they would find a way to fix all of it before it was too intense.
At Kagome's unexpected change in scent, Sesshomaru turned his head to look at her. And when she noticed, she only blushed more and looked away. He knew she was dealing with this as badly as he was. And neither of them really spoke about it - not that there was much to talk about.
He joined her on the couch, leaving a bit of space between them. His arrival home was always the hardest. They spent many hours apart during the day and sometimes they were victims of a surge of emotions when they reunited. They were used to it now but they still followed a certain routine. Also, he noticed she never made the first move. Most likely because she did not want to impose and that was partly his fault. He never let her on just how much it affected him. Perhaps she thought it was much worst for her than for him.
Sesshomaru grabbed her hand in his and then focused back on the television. Her hand was moist against his skin but he ignored it. He always pretended he did not hear her heartbeat pick up. He found that she relaxed much quicker when he pretended not to notice all those little things. Her body remained stiff beside his which caused him to remain stiff as well. The more time passed, the more her emotions were affecting him; she was getting stronger. And she was also recovering her health physically. He noticed it by the way her skin was pinker than before or the glow in her eyes. Or the way her body was changing. She was so skinny before that it was hard to pretend he did not see her fleshing out. If he remembered well, she had a lot of curves. He forgot about it. But now, she was slowly gaining weight. She was nowhere near what she used to be but he could tell the difference.
Meanwhile, Kagome was staring at his hand from the corner of her eyes. His fingers were long and slender. She remembered when you could always see his claws. They looked more dangerous back then. Although he managed to be imposing just fine without weapons attached to his digits. Silence was the part she hated the most about those moments. It made her mind run wild. They were too many emotions inside of her and she had to keep them bottled up.
If she were to be perfectly honest, she would have to admit that the hand holding thing was not working as much as it used to. In the beginning, it would calm down that urge to be close to him. Especially since they devoted a lot of time to it. But now? It was as though she became accustomed to it and her body (or rather the bond) was waiting for the next step. She would never ask, she would never go there but… the feeling was present. She almost had chills at the thought of the next step; touching? Kissing? The terrifying thing was… it would never be enough.
No, they had to stick to hand holding as long as possible.
"Have you eaten?"
The sound of his voice shook her out of her thoughts.
"No," she sheepishly admitted. She knew she was supposed to it but her stomach did not know when it was hungry anymore and sometimes she got so caught up in her things that she would forget.
"I will make you dinner." Once their little seance would be over - of course. He did not eat and sometimes it slipped his mind that it might be difficult for her to cook and he would forget to prepare something.
"I can do it." Basic things. Mostly because she was a terrible cook.
"Nonsense," was his only reply.
Perhaps he would need to add eating to his routine. If he ate, she would eat as well. And recover faster.
Which would bring about many more problems for them but nonetheless, her recovery was the priority. It was the reason why he was doing all of this, the reason why he found himself in such a situation.
Moments of silence went by before finally, he released her hand to go to the kitchen. She let her arm fall down to the couch and kept her eyes staring straight ahead. She tried to ignore the fact that she found his skin smooth. Of course it was smooth; he was Sesshomaru. Everything about him was meant to be flawless - except maybe his old personality. Not a hair out of place, not a pimple - not anything wrong. Meanwhile she was a mess. She was always a mess.
She did not even know what to do with her growing hair. It was fuzzy and broken and it kept falling out because it was not healthy enough. She thought about just shaving it again but…there was no point, it re-grow fairly rapidly and it fell apart fast too. She would just let her body do its thing. After all, it was what it had been doing this whole time anyways.
"Is soup an appropriate meal?"
"Yes, thank you."
Whatever he wanted to make, she would say it was fine. Plus, she still had a hard time with real food.
She patiently waited while he chopped and boiled to make her meal. Once she heard him get a bowl, she got up and joined him in the kitchen. Since she could more easily get around now, she preferred to have her meal in the proper room instead of on the couch or in her bed like a sick person. It made her feel normal.
As soon as she sat down, he set the bowl of soup in front of her and she began eating. What she did not expect was when he served himself a bowl and joined her. She tried not to look or stare but she was convinced he noticed her surprise. Nonetheless, neither of them said anything. They ate in silence and she had to admit it was nice. When they not have to touch, it felt quite normal to be around him.
"Sorry you had a crappy day," she finally said. She knew he despised useless chitchat but she wanted to say it.
"You are not responsible for your race's stupidity."
She chuckled. Only he would put it that way. "Girls at your work-k place?"
He nodded as he took another sip of his soup.
She did not like those girls. He did not even need to share what happened with her; she already had a clear idea.
Once they finished eating, Sesshomaru cleared the table and they returned to the couch. Like clockwork. She wondered how many couples had a hand holding schedule. She did not even move as he reached for her hand again and held it with his. This was their life.
Not feeling like watching the news, Kagome grabbed the remote and began flipping through the channel. Since nothing of interest was planning, she settled on a movie. Sesshomaru did not express any disproval and thus she left it there. Everything was going smoothly until the unexpected happened. A rather passion filled scene took place on screen and Kagome found herself holding her breath.
The right thing to do would be to change the channel but that thought did not even cross her mind. She stared with open eyes, unsure how to act. Her bottom lip began to quiver as she began too aware of his hand, his body, his warmth. She swallowed, trying to relax her tense body. She felt the heat on her face and it was spreading through her body. She could not even look at him.
Though she felt him move. Move as he reached for the remote. Calmly, he changed the channel and put the remote back down.
They both knew it was too late.
Despite his best efforts, the scene had an effect on him. He was fairly certain he was holding her hand tighter than before but he could not be sure; his hand almost felt numb. A tingle was traveling through him and all he could do was focus his breathing. There it was, that urge that forced him to do unspeakable acts. And to top it all off, he could smell her. Her scent overtook the room and it was impossible to ignore it. He could not blame her but it certainly made the whole situation more difficult.
"It is no longer working," he finally said as he released her hand.
Hand holding was not going to do it. It might even be too tempting in the heat of the moment. Although, it was very confusing. Which one was supposed to help? More or less contact?
She folded her hands in her lap and nodded. "I think I will go to b-ed."
Kagome rose up as quickly as her legs allowed her and ahead for her bedroom. Sesshomaru made no attempt to stop her. It was the right idea. Although it was not going to solve the problem. He already felt himself stiffened as he got up. No more cold shower; the tiles were not going to survive it. Also, he could handle it this time. It had not reach that point yet.
He closed the door a little too loudly behind him and undressed himself. He was mindful of his movement and did his best not to brush up against any sensitive area. Once he was changed, he closed the light and laid in his bed. As he stared at the ceiling, he came to the conclusion that he would most likely spend his night awake. Kagome was not as tired as before and she was taking less and less of his energy which made sleep very optional.
The night would go by much faster if only he could sleep.
Unlike him, Kagome was tired but just like him she could not sleep. She rolled in her sheets, completely restless. It felt so much more embarrassing for her since he could actually tell when she felt…aroused. For all she knew, he was barely affected but mostly put off by her reaction. She wished she felt nothing, she wished she did not want more skin contact. It made her feel selfish. It was a small price to pay to be alive but - it was such a cruel one.
She dreamed about him more and more often. Her dreams were always a bit hazy and blurry but she recalled enough to be embarrassed by her own thoughts. How could she even be dreaming about those things? It was not as thought she was knowledgeable about the subject. She knew what every fifteen years old knew. After that… well her life got a little too complicated for her to worry about that kind of thing. She would not even know what to do - she was pretty sure that except for kissing and small touches, she did not know how to proceed.
And he did not know either.
That probably did not help.
They had a hard time enough getting to where they were…how were they even going to progress further? Without going all the way of course. And kami why was she thinking about this? It was making the whole situation a lot worse. She was convinced her face was bright red. And she needed to get those thoughts of Sesshomaru out of her head. A puddle of heat formed in the lower regions and she was forced to inhale deeply.
No more thinking.
Unbeknownst to Kagome, her thoughts were slowing torturing Sesshomaru. He thought that once they would be in different rooms far from each other and not touching, it would subdue. He was wrong. She was much more vulnerable than he was. Although, he hardly felt in control. Hard being the key word. It was too late, her emotions were flowing through him and his erection grew. She was aroused and excited. He knew it could no longer be because of his presence; it was her thoughts. She was giving into the feeling.
He was restless. Last time he was restless, he had to do something about it and it hardly helped. No because the solution could not come from him alone. As they previously realized and discussed, it was their bond calling out to them, wanting them to be closer. Unless they did something together, he was afraid they would be stuck like this.
This was the moment he dreaded, the moment where it would have to be more. They did not even have tim to figure out a solution yet and already they had to take things up a notch. A simple scene got them this excited. How were they going to survive the next weeks and months? How were they going to handle more contact? He was not repulsed by the thought of touching he simply never thought much of it before this. Why did it have to become a necessity?
But, decisions had to be made and he knew she would not be the one to make them.
He was not too keen on the idea of what was about to happen but he rather get it over with quickly. If they got rid of the feeling now, they would be able to move on. And she would get some sleep. And she would stop thinking. That was the main goal.
Sesshomaru reluctantly got out of bed and headed towards her bedroom. The closer her got, the stronger the scent became. He licked his dry lips before knocking on her door. He heard her breath hitch.
"May I come in?" he asked.
Her reply was so quiet he nearly missed it.
He slowly turned the handle and walked inside. In the darkness he could very clearly distinguish her form. He headed towards her bed and stopped once he reached the edge of it. He preferred doing this here then in his bedroom; he did not need that scent everywhere in his personal space. It was already invading him enough as it was.
Kagome did not know what he wanted and wait she scouted away from him, leaving him enough space to lay beside her. She was nearly holding her breath as he laid down.
Sesshomaru did not know the purpose of this or if it would help them in their current predicament but he had to try. Their arms were touching and the heat from the skin transferred to him. Her scent was wrapping around him and he did his best to keep his facade up. That was until she made a move. Usually, she always waited for him to make the first move but it appeared that even she was extremely affected. She rapidly moved her hand closer to his - to grab it. But the movement was too sudden and he moved faster than her. He wrapped his fingers around her wrist, stopping her actions.
She gasped as he held her arm up high while he laid on his side. His amber eyes were glowing in the dark while he stared deep into her orbs. She looked at his mercy as she laid on her back, waiting for him to make a move. He felt empowered, intoxicated. He felt her excitement rise through him. If he just leaned in a bit more he would smell her even better. He throbbed while he got closer. She did not even move. She watched him as he closed the distance between their faces. However, he did not go for her lips, instead he buried his nose in the crook of her neck. He inhaled - too deeply and it sent jolts through her body. It was a mere touch and yet, she reacted to it.
He released her wrist and let his hand slid all the way down to her hips where he rested it, holding her in place even though he knew she was not going to move. He was not even sure she was breathing.
Kagome was frozen. She was never this intimate with anyone before. She knew he would not impose anything on her but - it was not as though she had any intention to stop him. The bond created a desire, an ache, and for the first time in days, it felt satisfied. She no longer felt that way, that emptiness. It almost gave her strength. Although she had never been this nervous in her entire life. There were so many things wrong with their situation and yet this was appeasing.
Sesshomaru finally raised his head and their lips nearly met. She almost inched forward but she held herself back. This was Sesshomaru, this was not romantic, this was not intimate. But her whole body felt on fire.
As he shifted himself closer to her body, she felt it brush up against her leg. It only took her a second to realize what it was. Her mind screamed in panic but her body shivered in a sort of anticipation. It was almost exciting and it was terrifying her. She never experienced such an intense sexual desire in her life. How could it be? He was the pillar in her life but sometimes he felt like a stranger at the same time. Or was it poetic? He rescued her from death, he took care of her, and yet he respected her strength even when she thought she had none left.
He never slept beside anyone. He could not tolerate anyone touching his bed especially while he tried to rest. Now, he believed his restless would kill him and the only way to fix it was to be close to her. Although his hard length pressing against her leg might kill him as well.
Using all of his strength, he pulled away from her. He had no intention of kissing her again. He did not want to go down that road. It was a slippery one and they needed to avoid it as long as possible. Instead, he used his grip on her waist to turn Kagome on her side. He wrapped an arm around her and rested her back against his chest. His length pressed against her rear but neither of them said anything.
Sesshomaru was extremely skilled at hiding his emotions, his feelings. She never knew it was this bad for him. She did not think he could lose control so badly. But the proof was right there stabbing at her. There was nothing either of them could do. And they certainly could not fix it tonight. She allowed herself to relax in his hold. It did help with the pressing feeling growing within her. She could feel the spot where his hand was resting; her clothes were melting beneath his touch.
Ignore it, she told herself as she closed her eyes.
Sleep. If she could only sleep it would be over.
-R-
Coldness. Loneliness.
Those were the emotions that filled her heart as she awoke. For a while, she thought she would never find rest. Eventually, her body and mind found peacefulness in his hold and she was able to sleep. But now, he was gone. She could not exactly say that she was surprised. If she had woken up first, she might have left as well. A heavy sigh rolled off her lips as she turned to lay on her back. Right beside her was his spot. Untouched. Despite his departure, she did not move during her sleep.
She slowly sat up in her bed and looked at the clock. Five thirty. In the morning? Why would she wake up so early? Perhaps she woke up when he left? Although Sesshomaru was hardly the loud one. Curious, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and got up. She headed towards the door and listened for any noise; it was silence. Perhaps he returned to his own bed to finish his night?
Kagome quietly opened the door and peeked outside. And he saw her. Sesshomaru was right across from her, preparing food. Wait, preparing food? She did not get much time to linger on the topic since he was staring at her and never glancing away. Now that he saw her, she could hardly go back in her bedroom. In resignation, she got out of her bedroom and joined him in the kitchen.
"Did I wake you?"
She shook her head. Her own body probably woke her because he was gone.
"Are you hungry?"
No. No, she was not hungry because her stomach was knotted. Because this was getting out of control for the both of them.
"It's harder," she finally said. She was shy to talk about it but they had to figure it out. They could not just act out every time the urge surged. Though it seemed the bond was all they talked about lately. It was controlling their lives.
"We will have to revise our previous arrangement."
He had to agree with her. This was becoming more serious than expected and he refused to be a victim of his instincts. His amazing self control helped him last night but he did not know how long this would go on. He had no intention of bedding her. He would avoid it at all cost.
"What can w-we do?"
"We will increase the level of contact within certain boundaries. If we give in too much, the bond will over take us. We should not venture too deep."
"I agree. But how?"
Did he know more than she did? Because she did not know how to increase the level of contact. What did it even mean? Was it what they did last night?
"I will figure it out."
He was not sure how, he did not know how he would figure it out, how to obtain such information but he would do it. If they had to increase their amount of contact, he rather it be on his terms. Most likely because for the first time he was going on unknown territories; he could not control himself. He was much stronger and powerful than she was. He wanted to make sure everything was done according to certain limitations.
A bit taken back, she nodded. She never pictured Sesshomaru doing that kind of research but if he wanted to do it she was not going to argue. She did not really feel like informing herself on the topic. She nearly blushed at the thought of it.
"I will run it by you afterwards."
This involved her as well and he was not going to completely exclude her out of the process.
It was simply already quite difficult since she got a glimpse of his weakness. There was no point in hiding it from her any longer since she felt it. That was one of the reasons why he had to show control. She had to think he was more in control than he actually was.
"Did you sleep?"
Her question surprised him. "Yes," he honestly admitted.
He did not expect he would. However, after a few moments he did find solace despite the fact that he was not even tired to being with - it was calming.
"Maybe ww-e could do that again."
It was not too invasive and frankly if they could do it once, they could do it again. Granted it might be slightly more awkward once they were not overcame by their desire but still. She preferred that to anything else.
"It would be acceptable," he said as he handed her breakfast.
It was not the worst idea and it was not as though they were apart often. Although, he was not sure how he would deal with having to share his personal space with someone constantly, even during his rest. Though it did make a decent compromise and limited any kind of real sexual contact between the two of them.
"Thank you," she said as he handed her chopsticks.
"Will you be alright on your own?"
She nodded.
He nodded back and walked closer to her so that he could get to the bathroom. He had to clean himself before work. There was no way he could carry her scent around all day. It was impregnated in his clothes, in his skin, in his hair. It followed him everywhere he went.
Unfortunately as he walked by her he noticed something. She smelled like him. She always smelled like him because his scent was everywhere and it was the only one strong enough to mask the scent of her sickness. It was different at the moment though. She bathed in his scent. There was not an inch of her skin that did not smell like him. What he did last night by holding her was a frequent custom with inuyoukai. They were possessive. They wanted their mate to smell like them, they wanted others to know they spent the night together and that she belonged to him and only him.
He marked her in a whole new way.
If they kept going with this, she would always smell like him. She would always be even more tempting.
Bathing, changing, none of it would help because with time, it would come off. She would just belong to him and that was dangerous.
Perhaps he would require even more help than he anticipated. One person could help him with the bond - at least he hoped so. But until that could be figured out, he needed someone to help him figure out the new feelings and how to deal with Kagome.
There was one person that could provide him with some help. Though it would require some traveling for a few days. Also he had a temper and he might quite dislike the current predicament.
It was worth a try.
He had to speak with Inuyasha.
-R-
A/N: Yes, Inuyasha is dead. You remember correctly ;)
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Red Lotus