Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

M.I.A	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Kouga/Kagome Views: 4873 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
Chapter 13: Late for the Sky
He was a hunter stalking his prey, prying on her every motion and cornering her when the time was right. He had felt the calling the other night when she had ventured into the darkness by herself. He had nearly revealed himself to her but he had instead chosen to do it on his own terms. He would be the one to decide when he was leaving. She did not own him, she could not rule his life. Of course, he had already decided that he wanted nothing to do with her or the child and he did not want to extend his stay in Japan but… but he also did not want her to be the one calling the shots. He would decide when he was ready to leave.
Also, she smelled of that man.
He had smelled it under the smell of the soap. It was the same man as the time before.
Not that it concerned him not that he cared that she was fucking someone else. Obviously he had to care on some level since she bore his mark but… Kouga himself did not care. She could be as much of a whore as she wanted and she could spread her legs open to whoever she wished. She was far from the Kagome he knew and remembered but - it was too late to do anything about that.
Fuck why had he not left already? Why was he still here?
The moment she dropped those crispy bills into his hands, he should have been a goner. Why was he making this torture last longer? Why was he spying on her? He needed to be as far away as possible. He had felt something for Kagome a long time. Remnants of these feelings had tricked him into socializing with her, into fucking her. He had even felt guilty when he had tried to be with someone else. But he fell to his weaknesses and he took her and he did what his old self had always wanted to do to her; he had marked her. Worse than that; he had impregnated her. This life, all of these gifts, they were presents that he would have cherished in the past.
Now, he was discarding them like garbage. What else could he do? How else could he live?
It was no life for her to be tied to him. He would not cut drinking, he would not return to civilization. There was no turning back the clock or fixing him. And as for the child? There would be no life for him. Humans had not changed their mind. If they killed their own without any kind of mercy, they would not think twice about killing something they thought was a threat. They had managed to hide themselves, let the humans think that they were a myth…but one day they would remember and the cycle would repeat itself. That child was doomed. His life was going to be nothing but misery and pain and she was allowing him to have that kind of future.
Despicable.
"Sad news my pet."
Her voice was enough to send chills down his spine. He was ready to foam at the mouth while her presence made his skin crawl. Although her statement remained vague, he knew where this was headed. The only thing she desired from him was his seed, and he had refused to give it, no matter which lunatic threat she hung over his head. He would not make a child, even if it saved his life. He was not about to condone a child to live this life, he was not about to threw another life into this mess. If his life ended because of it, so be it, but he would not be responsible for somebody else's misery. He would not be bringing suffering upon a child. Plus who knew what they would do with those children, what they would used them for - it was not worth the risk.
Instead, he offered her no reaction.
If he was going to be put down like a mutt, he was going to make sure he had some pleasure before his death. Aggravating her was the only pleasure he had left.
Her long nails raked alongside his shoulder blades, and he was finally able to detect where she was. His punishment was neverending; he was still unable to see or hear - for the most part. He remained a domesticated pet while they did whatever they pleased with him.
"See, I wanted to keep you," she began as she leaned in, her breath tickling the long hair touching his face. "But, you couldn't perform." One of her nails dug into his flesh and he slowly felt it ripping apart. He chose to not show any emotions. "What is wrong with your little friend? I try and I try, but you won't do it." She had been fairly nice so far - she was even willing to go as far as calling herself kind.
They wanted him dead and she wanted him alive. After all, he could provide so much more than the others; he was an alpha. Whatever monstrosity they could get out of him, it would be the strongest specimen. They had not managed to get many alphas, and no one of them had lasted as long as him. He was stubborn and proud and that was something they needed. They had given her one more time to get her pet under control and she was not about to ruin her chance. This time, he was going to listen because he was going down. She was going to wreck his life, she was going to ruin him more than he had ever been ruined.
And then he would be all hers.
She slowly reached out behind her back, pulling out her knife. It shun in the darkness of the night and she could not help the grin that stretched her lips. The fun was about to begin.
She waited, as the element of surprise was her favorite part, and once she was certain that he could not detect or predict her next attack, she dug the blade deep within his flesh, watching it split up, feeling the muscle shred beneath the pressure. Blood began to spill out, and she watched it, completely enthralled while it stained his tan skin.
"Last chance, pet."
-M-
He was not supposed to talk to strangers.
His mommy always told him to not go near people he did not know.
But his grandma had also told him that the shrine was safe and as long as he stayed above the stairs, he could play in safety.
If the stranger had made it past the stairs, did it not mean it was safe? But he did not know. The stranger was hiding. He could not really see him - he could just feel him. His mommy had once said he would have gifts. He could do things the other little boys could not do. He was not supposed to talk about it - only with mommy she had said. But this man was not like the other men in the street. Plus, he had seen his mommy with him. If his mommy talked to him, he had to be a good person right?
"Mommy izn't here."
He twisted his little mouth while staring into the bushes. He knew the man was there.
"Only grandma."
Still no response.
"Mommy says I can't talk to strangers."
"She's a smart woman."
He did not plan on talking to him. The actual plan was to wait here until Kagome returned from fucking whoever she fucked all day long. Then, he was going to take his money and disappear for good. Unfortunately for him, that kid was ruining his plan. How could he stay hidden if the fucking kid would not shut the fuck up. If he kept talking so much - and so loud - Kagome's mother or brother were bond to come out and it was exactly what he was trying to avoid. If talking to her was a pain in the ass, he could not even imagine how bad it would be to deal with the rest of her family.
And so, he talked to the fucking boy.
And how the fuck did that boy know he was there?
Kagome had been unable to locate him during the previous night. How did a boy with no idea how to be a youkai manage to locate him?
Fuck.
"So I dun talk to you?"
"You shouldn't."
He did not want to talk to him. He did not believe that talking to him would make him change his mind. He might have been a good guy once, he might have tried to save the world for the love of a woman but - that person was gone. He was back to the lowlife, human eater he was…. Minus the human eating obviously. He would never be a father.
"You know mommy?"
Too much, too well.
"I don't know kid."
"Mommy knows you."
She did not. She always thought she did - perhaps it was why she stayed but it was also why it screwed up her life. He had been so lighthearted, so fake. He had fooled her into staying, he had fucked her and she had believed him and she had stayed. She had been a ray of sunshine and he had selfishly tried to keep it for himself. He should have known better, he should have sent her away the moment their paths crossed and yet he did not. Now it was all fucked up.
Haru took a step forward, closing the distance between the two of them.
Kouga clicked his tongue before lowering himself to the child's level. "Kid, you wanna stay away." At this level, he could take a better look at him; the brown hair, the blue eyes, the pointy nose. It was there but he was blinding himself to it. They did not look alike. They had nothing in common.
But it was not what Haru did. Instead he lifted his tiny chubby arm and slowly reached for Kouga's chest. He pointed at the scar that showed from the collar of his black shirt and tilted his head. "You hurt?"
A long time ago he was.
"Nah. Fuck kid, why you gotta ask so many questions."
"Bad word."
Was he actually being lectured by a child? His child.
"Mommy says bad words are no-nos."
"Haru."
That voice he would recognize anywhere.
It only took the little boy half a second before he spun around and watched his mother with excitement gleaming in his eyes. "Mommy!"
"Haru, go inside the house." Her blood was frozen in her veins, her breath was stuck in her throat. "Now."
The little boy's blue eyes filled began to gleam with what appeared to be tear; his mother was upset.
"Now, please."
He vigorously nodded before running inside of the house. The man was nice - he was not trying to make his mommy mad.
"I thought we had a deal," she hushed out as her son went out of view. Why was it that he could never leave her son alone? He kept screaming that he did not want anything to do with the mating, and that he did not want that child but he kept hovering. What did she have to do to get rid of him? Actually, she already knew the answer to that, and she had already taken the necessary actions. "I have more fucking money. Take it and disappear. You can't stay anymore."
"Why not?"
He let his nose crinkle as he tried to smell the air around. He could tell that recently somebody had been inside of her but - it was not now, it was not today. Still, she fucked another man.
"You don't want your boy toy to find out?"
"I don't have a boy toy." He did not get to judge her.
"You reek of him."
"Why does it make you mad that maybe someone else is keeping their promises?"
He felt something inside of his chest snap. "I didn't break nothing. I told you how things were and how they were going to be and I told you the truth. You stayed, out of your own will. If you made up some bullshit fantasy, that's not my fault."
"You told me I was pack, I would always be pack." He told her he would be there, he said it. He lied to her. She did not expect him to be romantic, she did not expect him to be loving, but he broke the promise he made her, he lied to her when he told her she was pack and she would always be pack. He left her in the most horrible situation and nobody was there to stop her from spiralling down. He ruined her life, he ruined her and he was not even there. To this day, he was still ripping her life to shred and he did not care one bit.
He opened his mouth to reply, but no sounds came out. He could argue with her about a lot of things, he could even scream that she was a liar if he wanted…but about this? He had said it. He had a great memory, too good of a memory and he knew he spoke those words, he knew that. If he could take it back he would. Why would he call her pack? He did not have the first fucking clue about what a pack was anymore. He had spoken in a moment of weakness, he had let himself taste her sunshine and he had tried to hold on to it. But it had been a mistake - one that cost him and her.
Fine, he was used to being the screw up. It did not bother him to be the bad guy.
"Why does it matter?"
"It doesn't, clearly."
Because she would not have forced anything on him. Despite how raging mad she was about the mating, she would have walked away if that was what they needed. If they could not work - which they could not - if he did not want a child… she would have walked away no matter what. But it was not what happened. He left her broken, nursing a broken heart she did not know she had. No wonder she wasted years whoring herself around and drinking away; she had been rip away from her mate. It did not matter that she hated him or that he hated her. None of that changed the bond that united them. She could feel it; his hands were different, his presence awoke something inside of her.
She was tied to him.
He kept on fucking up and he kept on not having to pay the price for his mistake.
Something had to change, something had to be done.
"I'm going to give you your money, and you're going to leave."
"Yeah."
"You said that last time and you didn't leave."
"What the fuck do you want me to say Kagome? You want me to say sorry?" He could feel his control slipping. "Sorry for biting you? Okay, sorry. Sorry you got knocked up? Okay sorry."
"That doesn't do anything."
"Then what the fuck do you want from me?"
She was right, he should have left. He had not left and he could not figure out why. He had stayed away from her for so many years and it had worked just fine. The bond had not fucked him up, he had spent too much alone, too much time fighting connections. He did not need her, he did not need anything.
"I don't know!"
Her answer shocked them both. She wanted him gone did she not? It was the only thing she had been wanting from the very beginning. Why was she suddenly acting like it was no longer something she needed? Kouga had been bad for life from the very beginning. She would not gain anything by having him present with her. He was poison, he was toxic, and he needed to be gone. If not for herself, then for her son. Her son was the only pure thing she had left in her life and she was not about to let him corrupt him. She would protect him at the cost of her own life.
"I - I don't know," she repeated.
But he was here now. After all these years, he was here. He had left an ache in her chest, a void that could never be filled by anyone but him and now he was here. How easily had she fallen back into his traps? She had let him take her like he had not wrecked her life. She had let him use her body like he was her kind lover whom she had missed. But he was not any of that. He was nothing to her and he would never be anything.
"I can't."
"You can't what?"
"I can't be around you." Her hand were shaking, her body was trembling and her voice was wavering. What was she to do?
"I don't wanna be around you."
"Then why don't you ever leave?"
He had made her leave once, and now it was his time to walk away. Perhaps he would realize that being chased away is nearly as hard as chasing someone off. No matter what, she needed him to remove himself from her life. She was trying, but they kept colliding and she did not know how much longer she could do this.
"I - tried."
He could have left, he could have gone away a long time ago. He was about to do it before he saw her. And then he had her and he tasted her and somehow he was still here, in this hell. He had peacefulness and quietness waiting for him. Why did he not return to that? What was this sense of failure, what was the thing that kept him coming back. He knew he could not be a mate, he could not be a father. Why could he not take himself out of the equation?
"What do you mean you tried?" Trying was not good enough. He did not get to simply try - he had to do it. She refused to have him take over her life, she refused to have him ruin everything she work hard to have. He had ruined her enough.
"I tried. I wanna leave. I don't wanna be here."
"So, go." At this point she was begging.
He was going to leave. He was going to ignore the tug in his heart, the pull he had because of the forsaken bond and he was going to walk away from her as though she meant nothing to him. She had not bruised his ego by bringing up the broken promises, she had not hurt him by thrashing his honor. She was right; he had none. He was not the man he was once before. But, as he took that step forward, the step that was supposed to free him, the opposite happened. Before either of them knew what was happening, he grabbed her. His hands dug in her side, threatening to break the skin, as he pressed his lips to hers, ravaging her mouth. He expected her to slap him away, he expected her to use her powers against him, but she did none of that. Instead, she returned the kiss with the same passion he was giving her.
Push him. These were the words she kept replaying in her head, but it was not what she was doing. Instead, she was fighting to keep her hands at her sides, not touching him. There was something about him, that - filled her. The void? The one filled with sex and alcohol? It just needed him, nothing else. It brought tears of rage to her eyes. If he had not screwed her up, if he had not bitten her - she would have been a better mother. She would not needs those vices to help her make it through the day. She would have made something out of herself, something that could make her son proud. Instead, she was this shell of herself, this thing that did not matter.
And he did that.
It slipped her.
She raised her hand and smacked him across the cheek. She expected that to be the end of their kiss, but she was wrong. As the stinging spread through his skin, he leaned forward again, attacking her lips once more. And again, she replied. She returned his fire and she let herself be lost in the sensation that was numbing her body. She could not think, she could not feel. She was taken by the moment, overwhelmed by it. How did it end up like this? She could not do this, not here.
"Kouga," she managed to say against his lips.
"I can't."
He had stayed away, he had done his part, and yet there he was. He was burning alive, letting the flames consume him much like he had done years ago. He was giving into the pain and the suffering as though he deserved it. But he could not. It was her, and it was not just her. He had to tear himself away. He had to face the truth he kept running from; he was weak. He had been lying to himself when he said he came here for Ginta. He kept saying he was here because he had lost his friend and he had to bid a farewell to someone he thought was dead already. But he was lying - as always. Why was the news of Ginta enough to tear him from the life that he had and knew? It was all a lie.
He came here because she was here.
He was dragged to her - he was forced to come to her.
He was nothing but failure and weakness and he lied to himself to get here.
And now he had to live with the consequences of his actions. Her lips were soft and sweet against his own, and he was losing the control. Of course, rage kept spreading through his veins as though he was fighting for his life - which in a way he was. How else could this situation could be described?
She was the one to free them from their own nightmare.
Her small hands found their resting place on his chest and she used whatever strength she had left to push him away, creating a distance between their bodies.
He was unable to stare into her eyes, instead he looked at the ground. It was time to admit the truth that they both knew. "I can't leave."
These were the last words he spoke before he did what he knew best; he ran away from her.
He left her hanging, left her dealing with the doom that accompanied his words.
-M-
Get out.
He had to leave this place.
He did not know how, he did not know when, but he knew his days were counted. Even if he died trying to make it out, it was better than the future that awaited him. If there was any part of him that was still a man, he would do it. He would free himself from the constraint of this world and leave it as a youkai, not as a puppet. He tried to tug at his restraints, testing them. He had weakened during his long imprisonement. They did not check him as much as they used to, and they did not subdue him quite often now. Maybe he could take advantage of their carelessness and free himself from this hell.
Parts of him were begging for the sweet relief of death. He could not take his own life but if he died while he was escaping… that would be acceptable.
He tugged once more, the rope burning at his flesh, but he was numb to it by now. There was no level of pain that he could not handle. There was nothing they could do to him that they had not done already.
But he refused to let them fulfill their plan. They might be able to do it with other youkais, but they were not going to do it with him.
"Such a restless pet."
There was a bulge of his eyes as he heard the voice. How did he not sense her? How did he not hear her? His senses could not possibly be that dull. He was not that broken down. Or was he?
"I have news for you pet."
News of his death? So be it, he could take it. He wanted her to take that knife she so often plunged in his skin, and he wanted her to end it. He needed it to be over. Each time his heart beat, pain spread through his veins. Each time he filled his lungs with air, his rib cage threatened to break. How many more days could he take? How many more times could she carved his skin as though he was a tree trunk? How many times could he have one of them riding his cock as though he was a mindless slave? Every inch of him ached in agony. He needed the sweet relief of freedom - even if he gained it through death.
"You're gonna be a daddy."
-M-
Fire - fire would be pretty. Fire would cleanse everything.
The thoughts popping in her head were not pretty. What she had done was not either. The well house was a mess. Long gone were the vases carefully tucked away. Broken were the scrolls, shredded to pieces. She had gotten in the first room she could find, and she had wreck havoc. She did not know how else to unleash the pain and rage throbbing in her chest. She had let him have her, she had given him money and none of it had been enough. He was never leaving, she would never be rid of him. He would plague her like a disease and he would drag her down until she would want to die. It was not fair. She could not afford that type of thoughts.
Her cheeks were glued and dried from all the tears she had dared to shed. She had turned her hair into a mess by repetitively tugging at it, unleashing the pain. She was also vaguely aware of some scratches she had inflicted upon herself but she did not care. Seconds transformed into minutes, and the minutes themselves turned into hours. She did not know how much time she spent on that floor, her arms wrapped around her knees, while she gently rocked herself. None of it worked. None of it let her forget.
Silence was all that surrounded her. Her throat was clammed up, all scratched up from the screaming she had performed earlier.
But then, her peacefulness was disturbed. There was a soft knock on the door of the wall house, loud enough to stir her away from the nightmare she was living.
"Kagome?" Her mother's soft voice was barely making it through the thick wooden door.
She wanted to push her away, she wanted to turn her around. After all, she did not deserve kindness from her. Her mother had done more than enough - including sacrificing her livelihood. She knew how much it kill her to see Kagome like this, but she never said anything. She took every hit, every drink, and she let it happen. She could never repay her - and she did not want to make the situation worse. She did not need to see her like this, this weak. She wanted to be able to put up a strong front, but it failed.
All Kagome could do was remain voiceless. Slowly she heard the door open, her mother coming in regardless of her quietness. Kagome stared at the floor, refusing to let her shame show. If she did not look at her, she could keep some of her dignity. She licked her cracked, dry lips, listening to her mother's footsteps as they closed in.
"Things didn't go well?"
That was perhaps the understatement of the year. Things did not go well. Things would never go well again before she would never be free again. She would be forced to live her nightmare over and over again.
"It's him again?"
She did not want to pronounce his name. After all, her daughter seemed troubled enough and Miyu did not want to make matters worse. Although it appeared that this boy - this man, would be a constant presence in their life. She knew that it was not a reality that Kagome wanted to accept but, she might not have a choice. Now, Miyu only knew what Kagome had told her about him - it was not enough to form an opinion. However, she did know that encountering him again had turned her daughter's life upside down and it had spread chaos. She did not want him to drag her further down.
"Yea," she croaked out.
"Is he leaving?" She asked despite the fact that she already knew the answer.
"I don't think so." He would stay forever, looming in her life, making sure that it was awful. And he would be there, so close to her son.
"Does he want to stay?"
"No." That was clear enough. He wanted to go but he could not. He would stay but he wanted to run. He used to be more committed, more loyal. That part of him had vanished.
"Does he want to see Haru?"
"NO!" This time, her answer came out like a shout. Fine if the fucker wanted to stay but he was not getting near her son. She did not care what it took; she would always protect him from Kouga.
"Good."
Kouga did not seem like he was in a place to be a father and her grandson was very dear to her heart.
"But mom, he won't leave."
"Can you ignore him?"
She wanted to shout yes, she wanted to say that she would keep a distance between them - but… he had put his lips to hers and she had given up. It was useless; as long as they were tied to one another, there would be no escape for her. The only way for her to obtain true freedom would be if she managed to break the bond somehow. Yes. Cancel the mating! Sure, she knew nothing of youkais, and the mating bonds but… she had been able to figure out how to hide Haru. Surely, there was more for her to find. She was from a shrine, she was from a long line of youkais. There had to be something somewhere that could offer her a solution. He was the youkai, if there was a way… he would have probably found it but… but what if the solution was in the writing of mikos?
Whatever it was, wherever it was, she could find it.
If she could shatter their bond, if she could cut him from her life forever - then perhaps there would be hope for her. She would not need him in her life, she would not be constantly dragged down and most of all? She would not need him and his body. She would be able to reject him, she would be able to detach herself from him and finally move on. No longer would her body crave him, no longer would she be a slave to the growing darkness within her. She could perhaps… be Kagome again?
And most of all…
She could be a good mother.
"Maybe."
-M-
- 12
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