Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Dissident Hope	By : inufan625 Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > InuYasha/Kagome Views: 7761 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha and will make no money from this work of fiction. This will apply to all chapters contained within.

Chapter List
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Kagome turned as she felt him arrive. She hadn’t been expecting him, but was happy to see him none the less. She had thought a lot about what Shiori had told her and had decided to take her advice. It would hurt if he didn’t return her feelings but at least then she would know where they stood and could try to starting moving on.
His expression was unreadable and she offered him a hesitant smile. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“I need to talk to you,” InuYasha said, his voice grave.
Kagome’s heart clenched in her chest. Maybe Shiori had spoken to InuYasha and he had come to tell her that the bat hanyou was wrong. What if he had finally decided that the risk was too great and had come to end things between them? She forced away the urge to cry. Whatever he had decided she would accept with as much grace as she could muster. She wouldn’t break down and risk making him feel guilty and she would always cherish what they had shared.
“Shit, don’t look at me like that,” he said gently as he approached her. He didn’t know what might be running through her head, but it couldn’t be anything good if the expression on her face was any indication.
Kagome bit her lower lip. “There’s something I need to tell you too. Shiori-chan, she spoke to me and about you and about my future. Before I tell you… I just want you to know that I don’t regret anything and I don’t expect anything either. Being with you-”
He couldn’t stand to see her looking so uncertain so he decided to ease her fears. He took her face in his hands to silence her rambling and looked her in the eyes. “I love you.”
Kagome let out a joyful half sob as she threw her arms around his neck. She almost couldn’t believe it. She clung to him tightly. “I love you, too.”
She refused to even think about how difficult things were going to be for them as he held her in his arms. She didn’t care what anyone thought. She knew in her heart that they were meant to be together and that together they would be able to face anything.
“Tell me you can stay, at least for a little while,” she breathed against his lips.
“I don’t know,” he told her with a grin. “That depends on whether or not you plan on taking that robe off anytime soon.”
“It is a little cool tonight, but I guess I might be persuaded if there was someone who would promise to come to bed with me and keep me warm,” she replied. “You know anyone like that?”
He chuckled. “I just might. Should I go call him, or what?”
She slapped his arm. “Jerk. Just hurry up and take of your clothes before I change my mind.”
He watched her shed her robe and quickly pulled his shirt off over his head. She sauntered over to her bed and lay down, watching him as he unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down off his hips. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her as he circled one of her nipples with a finger. She worried her lower lip between her teeth as she shivered. He growled as he struggled to get his underwear off over his now very hard cock. Her hand slipped down between her legs and he leapt at her. She gasped as he nipped at her neck.
He ran his hand down her arm and over hers as she touched herself. “No fair starting without me, woman.”
“Mmm, should have been faster then I guess,” she said with a laugh.
He pressed his nose against her throat as he laughed with her. He let a trail of warm wet kisses against her skin until he captured her ear lobe between his teeth. “I really do love you.”
“Show me, please,” she said with a moan as his hands found her breasts.
He licked her neck one last time and then worked his way lower. He buried his face between her breasts as he cupped them in his palms and she gasped as he nipped at the skin there with his fangs. He pinched one of her nipples firmly and she whimpered. The eyes met as he soothed her with his tongue and then pulled her into his mouth. Her back arched off the bed as he sucked hard.
He continued to tease her nipples with his finger as he kissed and licked his way down across her stomach. The heat of his mouth was like fire against her skin and she trembled with anticipation. His tongue slipped into her belly button and back out again and she opened her legs wider, hoping he would take the hint and quit torturing her.
He laughed as he placed a sucking kiss against one of her hips. “Impatient are we?”
She growled in frustration. “InuYasha, please.”
He lifted his head and their eyes met. “Okay, my beautiful miko, okay.”
She cried out as his mother covered her. His claws bit into her skin as he held her hips. She rocked against him as he lapped at her ardently. She was certain that no man had as talented or as wonderful a tongue as he did. Her fingers tangled in his hair as she held him against her. He growled softly against her and she came undone. Her body jerked and her legs tightened around his head as he continued to tease her. He growled again and again she cried out in release.
She pushed at the top of his head with her hands. “Too much.”
He was smirking when he looked up at her, but he relented and crawled up her body, seating himself between her legs. Their lips met once and then again as he reached down between them. She drew her legs up and he groaned as he slowly slid into her. His forehead fell against her shoulder and she hooked one leg around him pulling him into her hard. She closed her and concentrated on squeezing him from the inside.
“Shit, do that again woman,” he groaned.
She laughed lightly, but did as he asked and was rewarded when he finally began to move. It had been a long time since their lives had permitted them the time they needed to take things slow and really enjoy one another and he seemed determined to take advantage. His pace was torturous for them both it seemed but she was content to just let herself feel him. Every so often she would contract her muscles delighting in the way he would say her name after.
His mouth fell over hers roughly as he moved faster, harder within her. She dragged her nails down his back and he shuddered, but it had the desired effect. He thrust his hips against her and she did her best to meet him. She didn’t resist as he slid one arm under her and pulled her up onto his lap as he sat back, but she only had a moment to admire how he managed to pull off such a maneuver without separating them because with the new angle she suddenly found herself unable to do anything but feel.
He groaned as she tightened around him, pulling her down her onto him. He held her tightly as he found his release within her. He nipped at her shoulder as she trembled against him and growled softly as she tilted her head to the side to give him better access. The small red marks against her skin left by his attentions pleased the youkai in him as they marked her as his. Of course they would fade within hours, but for now it was clear to all that she was well loved by him.
“You can keep doing that as long as you like, but can we lie back again,” she said. “I think I’m getting a leg cramp.”
He lifted his head and nodded. She slipped out of his lap and lay back against the pillows. He moved up beside her and draped one arm across her middle. He pressed his lips to her shoulder and kissed her before picking up where he left off. Her breath caught in her throat as he nipped her hard and she turned her head. A few drops of blood welled up against her skin and he closed them with a soothing swipe of his tongue.
“Shit, sorry,” he said.
She shook her head. “It didn’t hurt.”
He lifted his head. “You aren’t just saying that, are you?”
“No,” she replied as her face heated. “I like the way your fangs feel, and your claws too. It surprised me how much I liked it, but that’s all, really.”
He studied her face for a minute and then nodded, accepting her words as truth. She smiled as he went back to leaving little love bites against the skin of her shoulder. It was a good thing that he had chosen that spot to leave his marks on her since it would be covered anytime she was dressed. Could have chosen that spot for just that reason? She supposed it didn’t matter and she did like it, both the way it felt and that it was almost as if he was putting a visible claim on her. She wondered if she could get away with doing something similar to him of if he would object to her leaving a visible reminder of their time together.
He loved her, she didn’t doubt that but they hadn’t really discussed what that meant for them. Did that make them exclusive in his mind, or was it different for youkai? She knew that once they had a mate they were loyal, but she wasn’t his mate. She didn’t even know if he considered her his girlfriend. She knew that the only way to really find out was to ask, but she didn’t know if she could bear to hear his answer if it wasn’t the one she wanted. She supposed that she could just leave it for now and be happy with what they did have, but in her heart she knew she couldn’t really be happy until she found out for certain.
“InuYasha?” Her tone was almost timid.
“S’ matter,” he asked as he held her a little closer.
“Nothing, I just, I want to ask you something,” she told him. “I’m just worried that it might upset you and that’s the last thing I want to do tonight.”
He raised himself up on his elbow and looked down at her. “Ask me.”
“I just assumed, I mean before now, we weren’t really together,” she began. “But now, after tonight, you won’t be with anyone else, right? Even if we can’t be together for while you still won’t be with anyone but me?”
He brushed a hand across her cheek. “I’m with you and for long as that’s true there won’t be anyone else. I promise.”
“Have you been?” she asked. “Since we started sleeping together?”
He knew he had to tell her the truth. “I tried once, around the time you had to do all the ceremonies for those who had completed their training. Apparently, my attitude was even worse than usual and Sesshomaru sent Yura to my room. I thought it wouldn’t matter, told myself it didn’t, that I couldn’t be disloyal to someone who wasn’t expecting my loyalty, but even when I tried to pretend she was you, I just couldn’t. I sent her away and jerked off in the shower thinking about you. I’ve done that alot since then.”
She giggled and then bit her lower lip. “I’ve done that alot too. Thank you for telling me the truth. I know it would have been easier to lie.”
“I’ll always tell you the truth,” he assured her. Then he smirked at her. “Now, tell me more about how you touched yourself thinking about me when we couldn’t be together.”
She blushed but smiled at him. “I think it would be more fun if I showed you, don’t you?”
Kagome closed her eyes as she snuggled up against him. “InuYasha, can I ask you something?”
“You know you don’t have to ask me that every time you want to know something,” he said gently. “Just ask.”
“Sorry,” she told him. “I guess I’m still trying to get used to the idea of us really being together instead of just working together and sleeping together.”
“You’re not the only one,” he admitted. “In fact we probably still wouldn’t be if I didn’t trust Shiori more than anyone else except maybe Sesshomaru and you, and if I didn’t know that her visions were never wrong.”
“That’s actually what I wanted to ask you about,” she said. “At first I thought she might be your lover or maybe even something more than that, but after talking to her I know she sees you as a big brother and I just wondered how that came about.”
He shivered a little. “Shiori and me, together, now that is disturbing. It really would be like fucking my little sister. I found her when we raided a black market auction. Her father had been killed and her mother couldn’t stop it when his family came and took her. Bastards were selling her to the highest bidder for her gifts. I brought her into the pack and have been looking out for her ever since.” He lifted his head just enough to look at her. “You were jealous, weren’t you?”
Kagome flushed. “Maybe, I was, but I bet you would have been jealous if I had ignored you all night to talk to some really handsome guy and then threatened to kill someone in defense of him.”
“Damn right, I would have,” he told her. “I probably would have done something stupid and everyone would know about us right now. It’s a good thing you have more self-control than I do.”
She kissed his chest and held him a little tighter. “It wasn’t so much self-control as telling myself that I wanted you to be happy no matter what, even if it wasn’t with me, that I had no right to be jealous because you weren’t really mine to begin with.”
This time he turned and raised himself up onto his elbow so that he could looked down at her. “I think I was probably yours as soon as you smiled at me and rubbed my ear. I never had a fucking chance.”
“I’m the one who never had a chance,” she told him. “You were so handsome and more than a little wild. I’d never seen a man before that I was more instantly attracted to than you. Then when you told me you would make your brother understand, I knew I could put my faith in you.”
He snorted. “I was a total ass. I remember the kind of shit I said to you, even though I knew we had been wrong about you as soon as I saw you and felt your reiki. Then I insulted you about holding back the scrolls. I’m lucky you didn’t purify my ass.”
She laughed. “There was a moment there that I wanted to.”
“You know when I really decided to help you,” he told her. “It was when you were escorting me out and I realized that you could hear what everyone was saying about you. I knew then the risk you were taking and that you weren’t an ordinary woman.”
“Speaking of all that, we really should try and get some work done on the scrolls,” Kagome said. “How is your day tomorrow? You could call in the morning and tell your brother I asked if you could come work with me and then you wouldn’t have to leave at all. We’d have all night and we can be together as many times as you want or until I pass out from sheer exhaustion. I’ll even make you breakfast in bed.”
He chuckled. “I’m not that hard of a sell. I want to be here, you know. I’m sure it won’t be a problem, but if so I’ll figure something out.”
Kagome tried to stretch but found herself unable to do so. She smiled at the clawed hand currently cupping her breast as he held her against him. She shivered as he nipped at her shoulder. “You been awake long?”
He nipped at her again and then kissed her reddened skin. “Not too long. I figured I would let you sleep since I kept you up so late.”
“I guess this means you’re staying,” she said.
“I already called Sesshomaru,” he told her. “I told him you managed to get the whole day free for us to work together so he isn’t even expecting me to check in before this evening.”
She smiled and covered his hand with her own. “I guess I should get up and make your breakfast then so we can get started.”
“Or I could just have you for breakfast,” he breathed against her ear.
She shuddered and closed her eyes as he toyed with her nipple. His idea was one she knew they would both enjoy but it would also mean that nothing would get done today. She let herself enjoy his affections for a minute before moving away from him with a sigh. She slipped out of his arms and out of bed and then looked at him. She wondered if he realized he was pouting.
“Sorry, my handsome hanyou, but unlike you I’m only human and need real food,” she said with a smile. “We’ll eat, get some work done and then after, I’ll make it up to you.”
He arched an eyebrow at her. “Is that a promise?”
“On my honor as a miko,” she told him seriously.
“I guess I can live with that,” he said. “Now, hurry up with my breakfast, woman.”
She rolled her eyes at him, but gathered up her robe from the bedroom floor and then headed downstairs to cook them something to eat. The last time they had eaten breakfast together it had been traditional, but she didn’t think he would mind if she made something else.
She split the omelet she had prepared onto two plates and then added two small dishes of picked vegetables and two glasses of juice to the tray. She carried it back up stairs and found him sitting up in her bed exactly as he had been when he left. She set the tray on the bed beside him and then went around the other side to sit down.
He didn’t hesitate to start eating. “This is good.”
She smiled. “I’m glad you like it. To tell the truth I’m not the best cook, but since omelets are one of my favorites I made sure I learned how to make them well.”
It didn’t take long for them to finish eating and after he insisted on taking the tray back downstairs while she went to get everything set up for them to start working. She considered getting dressed for a minute, but decided not to. It would be more fun this way and she knew they would also end up in the shower at some point and it didn’t make sense to put on clean clothes that she was only going to end up taking off. When he joined her she was both relieved and disappointed to find him wearing his pants. She definitely wouldn’t have been able to concentrate if he wasn’t at least partially dressed.
“Go ahead and pick one,” she told him. “We’ve learned the most so far from his, and you can pick them out easier than I can.”
“Shit, don’t know why we didn’t think of that sooner,” he said as he went over to the chest.
She watched him as he picked up one scroll before putting it back and selecting another. He held it close to his face and gave it a quick sniff and then offered it to her. She took it with a smile and unrolled it carefully placing in the light table. She made adjustments until she was satisfied and then started the process of documenting, recording and transcribing it. Once it was done she sat down across InuYasha’s lap so they could read it together.
Kikyou is hiding something from me and it’s making me crazy. She’s been disappearing for hours at a time and asking me not to follow her. I’ve been tempted to try, but I know she would sense me and she’s made it clear that she won’t forgive me if I go against her wishes in this.
Maybe she’s changed her mind about me, about us. It’s not like I would blame her, but if that is the case then I wish she would just come out and tell me. I’ve known all along how insane it was to think we could be together, but I was stupid and I let myself hope.
Kaede has been acting strangely too. Several days ago I actually saw Kikyou strike her, though I couldn’t hear what they had been talking about. It was just so wrong for her to do something like that. No matter how she came to have Kaede she loves her. I’ve seen her discipline the girl plenty of times and it was always with more chores or longer meditations so she could think about whatever she had done. I tried to ask both of them about it, but the kid just cried and Kikyou snapped at me to mind my own business since Kaede is her daughter and not mine.
Something is definitely going on and I just wish she trusted me enough to confide in me. I would help her, whatever it is, if only she would let me. I am going to give up half of who am, everything of me that came from my father, all of the strength that kept me alive all this time. How can she not know that I would do anything for her?
“I don’t care what the stories say,” Kagome said quietly. “He loved her and I don’t think he was capable of betraying her, no matter what she might have done or been hiding from him.”
InuYasha hugged her and then pushed back her hair from her face. “This doesn’t have to mean it was just her.”
“What if it was?” she asked. “I think about all the people who have died and for what? If Kikyou really broke the treaty and betrayed him then the only reparation I could offer would be my own life and it wouldn’t be nearly enough.”
“You can just forget about that shit,” he told her. “I don’t give a fuck what happened. The answer is never going to be for you to offer yourself up as a sacrifice to the honor of the youkai.”
“You’re acting like you would miss me or something,” she said.
“Damn right I would, fool woman,” he said as he buried his face in her hair and breathed deeply. “You might not believe this but not many women find me as charming as you do. Besides you’re getting ahead of yourself anyway. We still don’t know what happened. Maybe he was just seeing something that wasn’t there.”
She laughed. “You mean youkai women don’t fall all over themselves for such wonderful romantic overtures like, and I quote, take a shower with me so I can fuck you again before I have to wash your scent off me?”
“Keh, you remembered that well enough to quote me so I must be doing something right,” he said.
She giggled and kissed his chin before climbing out of his lap. She carried the scroll over to the air tight container and put in inside. “You are right though, I am getting ahead of myself. You want to pick another?”
“Nah, you do it,” he told her. “We can’t just do his or we won’t ever get both sides of the story.”
Kagome nodded. She picked another scroll at random and went back to work. She was only vaguely aware of it when InuYasha left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a drink for her in his hand. She thanked him and enjoyed the cool refreshment before resuming her work. Just as before, she situated herself in InuYasha’s lap when she was done translating.
Sometimes I feel as if I have nowhere to turn. Today I raised my hand to my daughter and I lost my temper with InuYasha. I have never felt so unlike myself. It feels as though too much is happening too quickly and I am losing my footing. More than that, I cannot shake the feeling that there is something terrible on the horizon. Am I tempting the fates by trying to change my destiny?
I should have been grateful that InuYasha has shown enough of an interest and cares enough to speak to me on behalf of Kaede, and I do not know how to apologize to him for my outburst. Then there is Kaede, my dear Kaede who has been one of the few joys in my life in spite of the circumstances of her conception. How can I repair the broken trust between us?
I fear I am taking my one chance at happiness and throwing it away with both hands and I cannot understand why. InuYasha has yet to return since I spoke to him so harshly. Have I lost him? If he does not return will I be able to bear it? I do not understand the youkai in him. Were my words an unforgivable rejection to that part of him? Does the youkai part of him keep him from feeling the same things a human man would? Can he really love me as I love him?
It feels strange to write those words, to say I love him when my whole life has been about killing youkai and he with youkai blood, but the longer I am with him the more certain I am in his humanity. I have to believe there is love in him along with his honor and the gentleness he works so hard to conceal. He is both a mystery and a contradiction and I begin to wonder if I am doing him a disservice in not trusting him more completely.
“Those aren’t the words of a woman plotting betrayal,” InuYasha said. “She loved him. She didn’t understand him for shit, but she definitely loved him, at least as much as she could in their circumstances.”
“You don’t feel that way about me do you?” Kagome asked. “Like I only love you as much as I can or that I don’t really understand you? It is something I considered when I saw you with Shiori, how she must be able to understand you better than I ever could.”
“Don’t be stupid,” he replied. “You’re not her and I’m not him. If you yelled at me I wouldn’t think it meant you didn’t want to be with me anymore. I’d just yell back until we both got over it and ended up having what I’m betting would be amazing make up sex.”
She giggled. “Is that all you think about, pervert.” She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. “I was being serious.”
“You were being stupid,” he corrected. “Let me ask you a question. Why do you like it so much when I bite you, and I mean why do you really like it deep down? Don’t worry about whether or not you’re right or wrong.”
She felt her face heat. “Because it feels like it means something. They won’t last and no one will ever see them but they make me feel like I’m yours. I look at them and I feel… proud to have that visible reminder of our feelings for one another.”
“And you think you don’t understand youkai,” he said with a snort. “Shit, Kagome you’ve seen the worst of me, and walked right up to it without flinching. You don’t just love the human you see in me. Hell, I can’t keep you away from my damn ears.”
She laughed a little and reached up to capture one between her fingers. “I can’t help it if they’re irresistible.”
He regarded her with a serious expression. “Whatever happened to them, it won’t happen to us. No matter what, I swear to you I will never betray you. If it seems like I have then know that something is very wrong. I love you and I would trust you with my life if it came to that.”
“I love you, too,” she told him. “And I promise I won’t ever betray you either, not for any reason or under any circumstances.”
“Keh, you don’t have to tell me what I already know,” he said. “Now, put that up and I’ll cook you lunch before we get back to work.”
She raised her eyebrows at him. “You cook?”
He stood up and set her on her feet. “Don’t look so surprised, woman. This nose is good for more than sniffing out rogue youkai. I’ll head downstairs while you put that away and straighten up.”
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Dissident Hope