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Heart of Pain, Heart of Ice	By : Strawberries Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Rin > Sessh?maru/Rin Views: 18872 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
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chapter 14

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Sesshoumaru stood in the hospital's waiting room, gazing without really seeing,
his mind a turmoil of constant thought. InuYasha was slumped in one of the
large cushioned chairs staring at a small card in his hand, thoughtfully
flipping it over and over with his fingers. The kitsune was at the vending
machine, pushing money into the slot.

He had been here at least an hour standing and waiting. His patience was
thinning out. Sesshoumaru wanted to know what was going on. They had taken
his mate into the emergency room upon arrival. What could be taking them
so long?

As if to answer his mental question, the emergency room doctor entered the
waiting room. The human male approached him then stopped. "Are you Rin's
mate?"

Sesshoumaru gave a slight nod. "I am."

The doctor frowned, his tone serious. "I am her doctor. My name is Doctor Kimble."

"Yes."

His gray eyes darkened. "Rin is very weak. She is severly malnourished and
dehydrated. Of course she is underweight by about twenty five pounds. If she
had gone underfed much longer, she might have died." He paused for a moment
then continued. "She has many bruises, some old, some new. I have a good
idea how she got them. As for her open wounds, she has at least forty. About
ten were deep enough to stitch. All of the open wounds are recent. Now,
I am not an expert on markings but we have one here at the hospital. He
identified the marking on her left shoulder to be inu youkai. Your mark
obviously." He paused again with a heavy swallow before asking. "Have you
and her been sexually active?"

Sesshoumaru stared at the human doctor. "No."

The doctor nodded once. "Ah, I see. I have read the police report, Mr.
Sesshoumaru. It identifies the one who done these things to this girl to be
her father, her step father."

"Yes. That is correct."

The doctor glanced down, seemingly disturbed by the news he was about to give.
"She is torn. It will take at least a month for her vagina to heal properly.
From what I can tell, she has been raped mulitiple times. There are old scars
in her private areas. Know this, her outside injuries will heal in time but
the wounds on the inside may take months or years to heal and that is not a
certainty. She is fragile and I highly recommend finding someone who has
training in psychology and experience with trauma victims to guide the girl
in the process of healing her spirit."

Not responding to the doctor's findings, Sesshoumaru remained silent,
listening and waiting for the human male to finish speaking.

The doctor continued. "We are going to keep her here for at least a week. She
has been given an IV and will be on it for the duration of her stay. At
the moment, she is resting. We gave her a light sedative so she will be
sleeping at least until morning. Do you wish to see her?"

Sesshoumaru turned, picked up the soft stuffed bear on the chair behind him
then turned back around. "Yes."

---------------------------------------------

InuYasha looked up when the doctor left with Sesshoumaru. He had heard every
word. Gripping the card in his left hand firmly, he dug into his pocket and
retrieved his cell phone.

---------------------------------------------

The hospital hallway was cool and dimly lit. Their steps echoed against the
white walls and speckled floor tile as they walked. While following the human
doctor, Sesshoumaru glanced about. He could hear the low thrum of televisions
in the patient rooms as they passed. The smell of medicine overpowered the
mixed scents of different humans and youkai. Along with these was the low
lingering tinge of cleaning odors. He suspected the deserted hallway was
due to the mid to late evening hour. It was well past dinner time and
everyone must be settling down to sleep. It made sense because the
atmosphere had a clinically drowsy feel to it.

He smelled her even through all of these new scents. A moment later, they
stopped at one of the large, patient room doors. The doctor opened the door
and entered. He followed.

Sesshoumaru unconsciously breathed in deeply, inwardly searching, trying to
determine her condition before he saw....

He halted at the doctor's side. The room was dark except for a small florescent
light just above her head. It showered her relaxed features and wavy brown
hair in pale white light. The dark blue blanket was pulled up to her shoulders.
For a long moment, he simply stared at her slowly breathing form. She looked
so...peaceful.

The doctor turned to him. "I will go and give you some time alone. Since
she is sedated, she will not wake. If you want to spend the night in here,
tell the night nurse. If not, just return to the waiting room. Either way,
I will contact you again in the early morning."

The doctor left.

Sesshoumaru did not move. He simply stood there, gazing, not daring to think
what the morrow would bring. Not too far distant memories plagued his thoughts:
how she had cowered in his presense, how she had offered her body in hopeful
despair, how she had ran in fear, how she had screamed in pain, how she
had....trembled...in pure terror. She would be scared...of him.

How long he stood there, he did not know. Finally, Sesshoumaru eased up to
the hospital bed. He silently traced the lines of her face, wishing to reach
out and touch the softness of her cheek, to caress the curve of her ear, to
push back the bangs from her brow. He did not act on the childish wishes, for
that is what they were. Childish. Why he was wanting to...feel her skin...in
such a way... Why this alien...emotion...was protesting inside of him...
telling him to slide into the bed next to her body and hold her gently...
and make her feel...warmth: All of this...he did not understand.

He sighed, deep and quiet, trailing within a whisper.
"Please...do not fear me."

Sesshoumaru reached out and placed the teddy bear by her right shoulder.

He turned and left.

--------------------------------------------------------

Inuyasha stood as Sesshoumaru entered the waiting room. "How is she?"

His brother, not giving a reply, walked over to the large window and simply
stood there, staring out into the pitch black of night.

"I called someone who can help."

At this, Sesshoumaru turned his head slightly. "Who?"

"Someone who can help....Rin. Sango gave me her number and name. She is an
older lady, one who has a degree in psychology. She has helped people who
have been hurt."

Sesshoumaru continued to stare out the window. "What is her name?"

"Kaede Green."

"Is she human?"

"Yeah."

"When is she coming?"

"She will be here tomorrow morning to see Rin when she wakes up."

There was a long silence before Sesshoumaru spoke again. "I want you to be
with this Kaede when Rin wakes. I will not be there. I do not want Rin to
see me just yet."

InuYasha raised a brow. "Why not? You are her mate. You can make her feel....

Sesshoumaru interrupted. "I can only make her feel fear, brother. I marked
her out of...anger."

Suddenly, it felt as if the floor had fallen out from under him.
"You...marked her out of...anger??? What....? You mean...it was not...
consensual?"

Sesshoumaru leaned forward, placing both hands flat against the glass window
and bowed his head between his arms. "No. It was not. She does not know I
am her mate. She thought...I was trying to kill her."

InuYasha eased down on a chair, staring out at nothing in an unbelieving daze.
"I...This...What you did, brother....it was not...right. You bound a female
to you without her consent. I...can't believe you did..." He could not
continue, such a thing was not unheard of but extremely taboo, a barbaric act
of cruel savagery. To mark a female without the female's permission, to him,
was just one step under rape. It was wrong.

For the duration of the night, InuYasha did not talk to his brother. Instead,
he sat in the chair and mulled over what his brother had said. By the time
morning light filtered in through the waiting room window, he had decided
on something. If Sesshoumaru had never met the girl and marked her, she
would still be with her so called father, starving and beaten. Knowing
Sesshoumaru would never consciously mark a human girl as a mate, InuYasha
surmised that the anger was what sparked his brother's instincts into the
marking. Instincts that were, for some unknown reason, compelled to take
the girl as a mate. Yet.. Sesshoumaru did not touch her in any other way.
He had not forced himself on the girl meaning...Sesshoumaru did not
consciously want this bond either. It was a fine mess for sure. His
brother would have to learn to cope with living with a mate that feared
him. And the girl...she needed to be told...that she would have to live
with someone she was terrified of. The girl was too fragile for such news.
On top of this, he still did not know how she would react when she woke up
and realized....she was in a hospital...and that... people knew...

He looked up from the floor to see an older woman walk through the double glass
doors. InuYasha stood and went to her. "Kaede?"

The older woman smiled. "Yes, Are you InuYasha?"

"Yes, I am."

She glanced at Sesshoumaru who was still standing at the window. "Is he your
brother, the girl's mate?"

"Yes, he is."

"Ah...he is a quiet one, isn't he."

InuYasha stepped closer. "There is a reason he is so quiet, Kaede. A reason
I must go over in detail. Will you take a walk with me so I can explain some
things?"

With a wise nod, she smiled. "Of course."

-----------------------------------------------------

Her aged frown not not match the soft wrinkles of her face. As they stood
just outside Rin's room, she shook her head. "This situation is a bad
one...and very sad. From what you have told me, this girl needs time to heal.
And your brother's actions concerning the marking, even though it resulted in
her rescue, was an immoral violation. An unconsensual forced marking bears
painful consequences for both beings involved. The girl may never accept
your brother as her mate. Yet the girl cannot choose another for the
spiritual bond with Sesshoumaru. Your brother will forever long for the
one he marked. Even if he takes another mate, he will be empty inside,
his spirit unable to understand why his first chosen did not accept him.
It will eat away at him day by day till there is nothing left but the
unfulfilled need. I have seen even the strongest of youkai die of a
broken bond."

She sighed and continued. "As for the girl. If she rejects Sesshoumaru
completely after being told about the marking, she will also be forever
alone. Any type of closeness with another male will give her horrible
pain in body as well as spirit. More than likely, before long, she will
die of lonliness and depression, the aftermath of the same unfulfilled
need as Sesshoumaru's."

InuYasha nodded gravely. "I understand, Kaede. From what I know about bonds,
your words make sense."

Her aged frown lightened a little into a half smile. "The future is not set
in stone though, InuYasha. I still have hope for these two. Now, before we
enter this room, tell me the girl's name."

"Her name is Rin Onigumo."

The old woman's eyes widened. "Did you say, Rin...Onigumo?"

InuYasha caught the older woman's surprise. "Yeah. Do you know her?"

With a slow nod, she spoke softly, her gaze becoming somewhat distant. "Yes,
I know her. Several years ago I was hired by a man named Naraku to help take
care of his little girl after his wife died in a car accident. I would take
care of Rin during the day while helping her cope with the loss of her
mother. When she turned nine, I was dismissed of my duties by Naraku. At
the time, I did not think anything was amiss. The girl had gotten over the
loss of her mother and was beginning to show signs of a stronger developing
inner self. Her father was not a very loving man but he was always patient
with Rin and courteous with me. For the most part, I believed the girl
would be alright."

For a few moments, she was silent and InuYasha let all of this sink in.
Kaede had been Rin's nanny for three years after her mother's death. Maybe
this was a good thing. Rin would trust Kaede and let the older woman help
her.

Placing a wrinkled hand on the door's handle, the older woman took in a deep,
steadying breath. "I will try my best to help Rin and Sesshoumaru, InuYasha.
Even now my heart is breaking for her but I must be strong. Let's hope she
remembers me."

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Many thanks to the reviewers and their compliments. I am glad you like reading
this dark tale. Final chapter up next, wak wakes...then...meets Sesshoumaru
once again.

Mischief

gemini

Wrath

Fantasy Cat

yue

theMaven

Red Angel

SP777

Tori

Someone out there

anhimals: Sorry anhimals no lemon in this story. It was too dark for one.
I will do a sequel though.

shaid

friendly reader

New Fan: The reason it was hard to write was the realistic emotions that had
to be involved concerning what Sesmarumaru wanted to do to the hanyou. The
whole time Sesshoumaru was inwardly holding himself back. Sess is a powerful
demon that prides himself in self control. He is not one to lose control over
anything. His mate being hurt threatened that control and Sess, even though
he raged to kill Naraku, held back the raging madness to utterly destroy
just because of his pride

quanku

dragonflyelj: thanks for the 300th break. ^_^
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Heart of Pain, Heart of Ice