Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Enamored	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Kouga/Kagome Views: 13037 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I do not make any money from these writings

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
A/N: As some of you might or might not know. (Depending if you read my other stories). I lost my uncle and godfather last june. Honestly, I lost a bit of my writing drive. So, it's been hard. And I already was not doing great to being with - and yea. Anyways, I want to thank everyone for reading, for sticking with me. As I have always said, I will never give up a story. It might take forever, but everything will be completed.

Thanks for putting up with me.

Enamored

Chapter 14: Hot Springs

"What do ya mean you don't know?"

"I can't remember!"

Kouga let a sigh escape him, his chest collapsing as he let out the air he had been holding back. This would not do. He ran his fingers through his sticky hair, slicking his bangs back. He had hoped that once Kei woke up, they would obtain all the answers they so desperately sought. Apparently he had been wrong. He allowed his body to drop to the ground with a loud thud while avoiding any kind of eye contact with Kei. It was not the wolf's fault that he did not remember anything. Kouga had no desire to burden him or to make him feel guilty. It was best if he camouflaged his rage.

"I- I really wish I did."

Everything was bits and pieces and none of them seemed to fit together. There was blood, death. For a time, everything was warm and then coldness and blackness had claimed him. It was as fair as his memories got him. As a matter of fact he had been quite shocked when he woke up in the safety of the tribe. He had no recollection of even making it back. Everything took a turn for the worse when they explained to him what happened. Including the shard and Naraku's control. He knew they confirmed that he was no longer that monster's puppet but it did not soothe away his worries. What if they were wrong, what if one day, he would turn around and murder all of his brothers?

'It ain't your fault," Kouga spoke as he stretched out his legs.

"But - what if - " He did not even dare speak the words. He was sure Kouga had already considered his level of danger…but… what if he missed something?

"Kagome already said you were fine. Are you doubting my woman's word?" This time, the tension could be felt. Kagome would not risk anybody's life. If she said he was safe then he was safe. And that was that.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry."

That was also a small part of the equation he had missed but he did not dare ask about it. If his leader was happy, then there was no question to be asked.

"Look. Rest up alright? The boys will bring you food, and you just - ya rest. Kagome - she'll come by." He sighed. "And if you don't remember anything. Then you don't. We're just glad you alive."

Kei offered a nod of kindness in return and then, leaned back into the cave's wall. Rest. Despite the fact that he had been apparently dead and then unconscious… he was exhausted.

Kouga watched him for a few moments and then, resigned himself to hop to his feet. This morning was not going as he had hoped. The night had been much better. While hte darkness had engulfed the sky, he had been tangled up in Kagome's body. His legs had been wrapped up around hers and her tiny head had been rested against his chest. It had ripped his heart open to remove himself from her. He wanted to live that moment every day. He wanted her warmth to bring the sun back in his life. He wanted her to give him hope. Every time she was far, he forgot. All he felt was the pain, the rage and the loss. When Kagome was there, he felt something else.

And yet, he managed.

He delicately moved her body from his, and left her to her slumber. Kei had required his attention. The safety and the future of his pack had won over everything else. Now, he almost feared returning to his own den. Kagome would no longer be sleeping and he would be unable to enjoy her warmth. It would be back to this awkwardness, this uncertainty. He was so sure she was his, how could she not feel the same?

"SO?"

Ginta's impatient cry of joy interrupted his thoughts, forcing Kouga to come a sudden halt. "So what?"

"What did Kei say?"

Nobody had been allowed around while the two wolves spoke but it did not mean that they did not crave answers. They all lost their brothers and as glad as they were to have Kei back, they wanted to know the truth. Most of them believed in Kagome and did not fear his presence amongst them, but some were not that convince that the priestess actually knew what she was saying and doing. Ginta and Hakkaku did their best to keep the peace and convince everyone of Kagome's skills but it was something only their leader could do. Or impose.

"He doesn't remember."

"Anything?"

"Look, he said he don't remember. I'll ask Kagome to go see him later."

Ginta raised an eyebrow at the mention of Kagome. "She came out of your den a while ago." Sporting an interesting scent. Except he did not say that phrase out loud. His leader did not seem to be in the best mood and Ginta was not quite sure he was going to appreciate the teasing. Regardless, everyone noticed the scent. Kouga did more than spend the night close to her - he had completely marked her with his scent.

He masked his interest by keeping his focus straight forward but his left ear twitched at the mention of Kagome's name. "Where is she now?" His heart was sinking to the bottom of his chest and the familiar pain was swirling around. He did not even need to hold her or touch her - he just wanted to see her, catch a glimpse of her beautiful face.

Actually. That was a lie. He wanted more than that - so much more. He wanted to strip her bare, leave her in nothing but her own skin. He wanted to trail his fingers along every inch of her, watch her hold her breathe, watch her discover all that he could give to her. But he could not do that. Hence why all he could do was watch her, look at her and admire her from afar. She was closer, she let him in. But they were not at the same place - yet. He meant to hide himself in the shadows, somewhere she could not see him but he failed miserably.

As soon as she came into view, his presence caught her eye. She was sitting around the fire with other wolves, nibbling at her food. Her appetite was not back yet but at least she was in charge of chewing her own food now. The moment their eyes met, he saw the color appear on her cheeks and she quickly looked away. He was not sure if she was aware of how they slept but her current embarrassment gave him the answer he was looking for. Since he had been found out and it would be strange to remain away from her, he closed the distance between them and joined her around the fire.

When the other members of the tribe spotted him, they backed away to make room for their leader. Of course, he took the spot right next to Kagome. She scouted over so that there would be some space between them. Immediately, she searched his face for any sign of distress. When she woke up alone, she knew where he had done. She had worried but everyone told her everything was fine. Yet, that did nothing to ease her worry. Kouga had already hit rock bottom and he did not need to re-live that horror. Then again, he also needed closure. She was not sure what was the best outcome for him. She did know however that she could remember his body being very close to hers during the night.

Every passing day, she was losing her credibility. There was the kiss. The friendly kiss. The I needed it kiss. And then - the comforting and - and… it was all done out of friendship. But - but she was not pushing him away. The love she had for Inuyasha had hit her out of nowhere. She had not planned on it, she had no asked for it. It happened. She was young and although she knew teenage girls' feelings could sway - that was not it. It was not like she simply fell for every guy that spoke to her. She had genuine feelings for Inuyasha. Of course, she knew she could not forgive him, but that did not take the feelings away. And then Kouga- Kouga was Kouga. He was a wild card, something she could not quit make out.

It was much more simpler when he was that brute proclaiming her his woman.

This Kouga - she did not know how to handle him.

"How is he?" she finally dared to ask when he did not speak.

Kouga rubbed the back of his neck, hoping it would relieve him of some of the tension he was feeling. He knew she was going to ask and yet - he had hoped she would not. "He doesn't remember." He avoided making eye contact with her as he reached out for one of her pieces of meat. He popped it in his mouth and carefully chewed it. He resisted her urge to make a face; why would anyone ruin perfectly good meat by cooking it? Humans were weird. "Is that normal?"

All that Kagome could do was offer him a shrug of the shoulders. "I am not sure. I have not - I don't have a lot of experience with this." She looked down, shame filling her. "I'm sorry."

If Kouga could kick himself in the ass, he would. He rushed to grab her chin with his fingers and lifted her head up. His blue eyes bore in hers and he made sure she held the contact. "You saved his life. You ain't got nothing to be sorry about."

She forced a small smile on her face. "If I could - If I -"

He knew. He knew the words without her speaking them. "I know." He let his fingers wander until he was cupping her cheeks, wild strands of her hair stuck between his skin and hers.

If time could have stood still in that moment, he would have been grateful. Unfortunately for him, someone had the bad idea of clearing their throat, breaking the moment. Now, he was reminded that he was not alone with her. There were others. There were other people stealing, interrupting his moment with his Kagome. His light, his sun. She took away the pain, she made him feel whole. And he wanted them gone. Fangs began to poke at his bottom lip but he restrained himself before he began growling.

"Still hungry?" he asked Kagome as he released her face from his hold.

"I'm fine." She was not that hungry to begin with - she might be feeling better but the appetite… was not there. Especially not right now that her cheeks felt like they were on fire. Again. Again she got caught up.

"Do you wanna take a bath?"

At the word, the fire in her cheeks spread and at this point she wanted to melt and become one with the ground. She knew he did not speak of it with that intention but when she thought of baths she only thought of one thing. Him. Her. Naked. And - oh god. She sunk her teeth in her lips and a fire spread through her. She was boiling with shame and for some reason it felt as though everyone was staring at her. Could she disappear now?

It took Kouga a moment to catch on but once the scent of her sweetness mixed with her shame hit his nose, he knew. Oh right. "I- I didn't meant it like that." He wanted to be surprise by the sweetness coming from her but he could not. Instead, he was scrambling to rectify his mistake. God, he was an idiot. He was trying to get away from everyone, he was trying to hold on to the little bit of control he had left.

"I know," she said between tight lips.

The incident apart, she did need a bath. She was used to a much better hygiene than this. It might be rude to reject his offer… And she knew his mind - alright. The previous day there had been some… touching. But it was - it was created out of need, pain and loss. It was not - it was not a thing. They were not a thing.

"I just needed to get away from here." He did not want to say those words, he did not want to show his weakness, but he needed her to know it had nothing to do with seeing her naked. Although, he would be lying if he said he did not remember the taste of her skin. Or if he said that he did not want to taste it again. The darker his world became, the more he needed her. And the more she let him. Maybe he was abusing the pity she felt for him. But it could not all be pity.

"I think I could use a bath."

When he - it was an accident. It would not happen again. If there was one thing she was convinced of it was that she could trust Kouga. And he had her with those little words; he needed it. She knew he had a hard time even looking at his brothers and his pack. He failed shame, he felt as though he was not good enough to protect them. He hid it, like he hid everything else but she knew. The only reason he had not gone and recklessly killed himself by now was because she asked him to be careful. She asked him to wait and he listened to her. She did not want to use his feelings for her as a way to protect him but… if it kept him alive? Was it so wrong?

They were friends. She was supposed to help him, to be there for him.

He was the first to rise to his feet and she quickly followed. He offered her his hand, since he knew she might struggle, and she happily took it. He could feel his tribe's eyes on him but he was not quite sure it was only because of Kagome. It was because he did not have any answer for them. If he could help them with their grief, if he could provide them with relief he would. Unfortunately, he had nothing for them except more failure. It was another reason why he wanted to go far from everything and everyone. He wanted her and him. Alone somewhere. Even if he was not looking at her, even if he was not talking to her.

Their walk to the springs was quiet and slow but he did not mind. He watched her face as she took in the sights around her; last time they were here she was not quite as alert. She felt his eyes on her but she pretended that she did not or else she would simply feel self-conscious. Instead, she chose to focus on anything but his face. Or the warmth coming off of him. How could one person be so goddamn warm? It was insane. Any time he slept close to her it was as though she had her own personal heater. Was it a youkai thing or was it a Kouga thing? Well, it was not like she was going to ask him.

"How's Kei doing?"

"He doesn't remember anything."

"But, him how is he?"

"Happy to be alive. Guilty. Scared. I don't know."

It sounded a lot like what Kouga was feeling but she would not dare mention it. He knew his own dark feelings well enough and he did not need her pointing them out to him.

"He'll be fine." He did not do enough for him to have regrets or fears. The only scars he would have would be the same as the ones Kouga was carrying.

'Do you think he'll attack again?"

"Who?"

"Naraku." His name left a horrible taste in Kouga's mouth. It made his blood boil and it sent him in a reckless rage. She was the only reason he had no gone after the bastard.

"He's sneaky." She sighed. "He might be watching - or maybe he doesn't know he can't control Kei." Naraku would not have attacked right away. He would have let Kei ease away all suspicions before putting his plan into action. There might be hope. Nobody was ready for an attack from him.

He could be watching. At that sudden realization, Kouga felt like an idiot. He was taking Kagome away from the den, which was still the safest place. He was putting her life in danger because he could not bear to look at his pack. It was selfish of him and he did not want to be selfish with her. "We should head back."

Then, there was a hand grabbing his wrist, sending a jolt through his body. Her skin was soft and cold as she delicately wrapped her fingers around his wrist. Her actions forced him to come to a halt and he turned to look at her.

"I can defend myself." She proved that, did she not? She might not be in great shape, but Naraku did not know that. She might not be a factor he included in his plans. She did not think he would attack while they were at the springs. Plus, one of them would spot him? She knew Kouga would never forgot that scentless scent again. It would plague his every dreams, his every thoughts. "We'll be okay." She smiled. "Plus, I could really use that bath."

He nodded but did not resume walking. Instead, he let her initiate the pace - and she never let go of his wrist.

And he craved it - he craved her.

-E-

The water was warm, wrapping around her body like a silky cloth, finally releasing all the tension in her muscles. Although this time she could actually hold herself up, she opted for resting against the bank of the river. She had also moved a small rock so that she could rest her head upon it. Kagome made sure that everything except her head and her shoulders were covered by the water. She had tried to convince Kouga to take a bath of his own, but he had been against the idea. She felt bad that he had to stand guard, bored, alone with himself, while she was there relaxing.

He was the one who wanted to go in the first place. She assumed he wanted a moment of peace and quiet as well.

She knew he was somewhere nearby, watching, making sure Naraku was nowhere near. She made it her goal to enjoy her little soak as quickly as possible. Although after weeks of being in her own filth, part of her never wanted to leave the water. It was comforting and it reminded her of home. Home was a place she had not been in a very long time. It was good that her mother got used to that or she might have worried a lot. Regardless, hopefully he would be able to go home soon and re-assure everyone on the other side of the well.

"You know, the water is nice," she spoke loud enough for him to hear.

There was nothing.

He had not taken a bath since she had hand scrubbed away all the blood from his body. This was not good. He had to wash it all away.

"Kouga?"

She should not worry about him; he could take care of himself. He did not need her. And yet, her heart began to race. She tried to look, to see if she could not catch a glimpse of him, but it was pointless. A long sigh passed her lips before she slowly turned around. She inched herself out of the water and then proceeded to wrapping her kimono around her wet body without even drying herself. Her feet left a trail on the grass as she began looking around.

"Kouga?" she tried again.

He was going to get an earful; she was wasting a lot of much needed energy. Already her leg were beginning to feel wobbly and she could feel the sweat building on her forehead.

"Kagome?"

His presence in front of her startled her and she let him know that when she gasped loudly. "Kouga! Where were you?"

"Making sure it's safe. Are you okay?"

He searched her body for injuries but all he could see was the wetness spreading to the fabric of her kimono. "What happened?"

She dismissed him with a wave of the hand and then grabbed his wrist. She ignored the heat that reached her face while she dragged him back to the river - and he followed. Once they reached their destination, she finally let go of him and turned around to look at his face. "How water resistant is your fur?"

"What?"

"How water proof is it?" she asked while pointing at the fur covering his parts.

"It's fine."

It wasn't. But it did not matter. He wanted to know where she was going with this.

"Take off your armor."

"What?"

Why was he making her repeat this? It was so embarrassing. "Listen, you're getting into that water that you like it or not."

If he could have, he would have smirked at her bossiness. He could not. However, he did listen. He slowly unclipped his armor off of his chest, never breaking the eye contact they had. It loudly dropped to the ground, almost scaring her. "And now?"

"Get in the water."

And he did.

He did not want to, but she was insisting and at this point, his mind was running through a million thoughts. It felt good, holding her, kissing her. If she wanted him close by, he would do anything. Once he was fully submerged, he back away from the shore, leaving her plenty of room to join him. He did not actually think she would…

But she did.

While keeping her kimono on, Kagome slid back into the water. It was moments like these that she wished she had her bag with her bathing suit. Kimono would have to do… as long as nothing rose back to the surface…

She slowly made her way to him, taking larger breaths. She had about used all the energy she had saved up. Part of her wanting to just let herself float in the water but she knew she could not do that. Kouga could not be kind to himself at the moment, which meant she had to do it for him. She had to be what he was for her. Even if that meant exhausting herself. He deserved it. She owed him her life. Once she reached him, she put a hand on his arm in a way to stabilize herself. Unfortunately, Kouga noticed the way she was leaning against him.

"Are you okay?"

She softly nodded. "I'm fine. Now in the water."

His nose crunched up but he listened. He lowered himself into the water. Once he was certain he was probably soaked up, he rose back up. "Better?"

"Don't you feel better?"

There was something else that could make him feel better, something that could make him feel whole again. The question was, could he go for it? Despite a few things she had said, she never turned him down, she never disliked his actions and she rarely stopped him. Could he make her forget Inuyasha? Could he make her see that he was the one for her, the one to make her smile? She was vulnerable, in his reach and ready for him. He had smelled her arousal; he knew she wanted him. Although at this point, it was not about having her body, it was simply about holding her, about knowing she was his. He lost so much. He could not lose her as well. He needed her to be his and his alone. But he could not take her. She had to come to him - and she was not.

"I could feel better."

There was something different in his voice. Something more feral.

All he could was take something that could be taken.

He leaned into her, his arms easily finding their way around her tiny waist. The wet cloth of her kimono pressed against his bare glistening chest as he dove in and buried his nose in the crook of her neck. He heard little yelp of surprise that slipped her lips but he ignored it as he brushed up the inside of her neck with his wet nose. There. It was the spot where her sweet scent was the strongest. Despite the water making her skin cold, she irradiated warmth. He felt her tense up in his arms but since she did not try to push him away, he remained as he was. Holding her. It was not enough and yet, it was. He did not understand. He just needed this tiny human woman.

Meanwhile, Kagome stood there, her arms awkwardly by his sides as she could not figure out what to do. The hug was unexpected to say the least. Then again, it was not as though he had not been seeking out physical contact from her. And every time, she let him. How could she turn him away? He was in so much pain; it echoed into her own heart. He had a whole pack and yet, as he clutched to her as though his life depended on it, she felt as if he only had her. How could she let him down? How could she not give him the reassurance he so desperately needed?

It took for her to inhale deeply before she was even able to wrap her arms around his waist. When she did, his large hands began to palm at her back, sticking to her wet kimono.

He allowed his nose to trail down the length of her throat while her chest was pressed into him. He could feel her hardened nipples pushing against her kimono and teasing his chest. He could feel a slight blush covering his cheeks and he was glad his face was away from her prying eyes. She did not need to know just how hopeless he was when it came to her. He wanted to kiss her, he had wanted to do that since the last time. He never pressed, he never forced himself on her. But now, as he had her in his arms, holding on to her warmth, he wanted to steal it all away from her. He needed it. He dared to pull his face away from her neck and for the first time since his surprise gesture, their eyes met.

She blushed immediately. She wanted to look away but something in his eyes forced her to stare right at him.

"You're the only one."

"Ww-what?" She did not expect him to talk.

"I don't love anyone else. I don't want anyone else."

His words were like soft whispers except, she could hear the cracks behind them. His voice was low and shattered as though he was nothing more than a broken shell. And she knew the words he spoke were no lies. She knew he had not looked or spoke of anyone else. When Kouga looked at her, he saw her and her alone. She remembered the night she kissed him back. He would have done anything to stop her tears. Anything.

She really want to stop his pain. But she refused to do that by causing him more pain.

If she kissed him and there were no feelings behind… then it was just as bad.

She could not do that to him.

She did not know what they were but she refused to give him false hopes.

"You, just you."

He let his forehead rest against hers and then closed his eyes. If he listened carefully enough, he could hear her heartbeat. Except, it was not like before; it was not rapid. She was shy and nervous and uncomfortable but her heart was steady. There was no longer shame associated to their closeness. As he leaned forward, their noses bumped and he felt a shiver. Her lips were so close that he could feel their moistness. Although she was not leaning into him, she was not pulling away. His mind was exhausted; forming a coherent thought process was difficult. It might be a mistake but - every time he proved she felt something for him and she never pushed him away. She needed to forget about Inuyasha. He would never give her as much.

"I need you."

His words broke her heart. He was broken and he needed her, her alone. He acted as though she was the answer to all of his problems.

And he swooped in. He tilted his chin upwards, forcing their lips to meet. At first, he waited - just a beat. But she did nothing. She did not push him away. And so, he leaned in for more. He captured her bottom lip with his and tug on it, savoring her taste. He let his lips devour hers, showing her just how much he could care for her. He let his hands move upwards, wrapping around her upper waist, as though he wanted to never let her go. His hard chest was pressed to her tiny body, and he leaned her against the edge of the river to allow her to rest. He wanted to tangle his fingers with her locks, he wanted to push her out of the water and make her his forever. He could feel his cock beginning to swell with desire. He let his tongue venture in her mouth which only served to tease him with more dreams he could not have. He settled for a kiss.

A kiss she was returning.
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