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Red Lotus	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 20072 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 7
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Red Lotus
Chapter 14: The Prolocutor
The sun was teasing the horizon, barely lighting the dark blue sky with its light rays. Birds were chipping along side the quiet roads as the morning slowly settled in. The road was empty except for one car. Its occupant, Sesshomaru, was gripping the wheel tightly, his amber eyes focused on the paved way in front of him. The trees passed by like green blurs while he tried to ignored the annoying little device that rested in the cup holder. He could feel its annoyance, he could hear all the damn vibrations it was sending through the air. He hated it.
Cellphones.
They were such useless inventions. It made it so people could always bother you no matter where you are. Obviously he was always against such thing. Also, since he had neither family or friends, it truly did not matter if he had one or not. Nobody was important enough to have access to him at all time. Recently, his situation changed. Recently, Kagome was included in his life and that simply spun everything out of control.
He realized he had to speak with his brother. However, since he was deceased, there was only one way to do that. And it involved leaving Kagome alone for a few days. Obviously she would not be completely alone; her mother would come by once in a while. At first he suggested she stayed with her mother but she flat out refused. She also did not want her mother to come live with her at the apartment. The only thing she agreed to was to let her mother check up on her from time to time.
Sesshomaru was fairly certain it was only because she did not want to impose on her mother. Nonetheless, he knew she had not fully recovered. That left him with the option of getting a cellphone. She probably was not going to call him. But - but there was a way for her to reach him. She was his to look after, a promise he would honourably live up to for the rest of her life. If there was trouble he would return immediately and complete his trip at another more appropriate time.
Space between them was good. Or would it make it all worse? He was not sure. However, he had to do this it was the only way they had to figure out everything that was happening between them. The bond had to be taken care of before it slipped even more out of control. He barely kept himself in check some days. No mistakes could be allowed. He respected Kagome, he chose to help her. However, he did not want her to expect anything. He would never do anything more than his duty. There would be no attachment, there would be no love. She was already aware of that but - but some of their recent actions could be misleading and he refused to let that happen.
It was why he required his Inuyasha's assistance.
He never spoke with his half-brother much. He did not care for what he had to say. He was blood - a fact he did not always appreciated. He kept the promise. He respected his dying wish. However, when it came to humans, when it came to controlling emotions you have no control over… Inuyasha knew more than him. He did not enjoy admitting that but he had no choice. Unfortunately for him his little brother was dead and…communication was a little difficult. But not impossible.
It did mean he had to deal with someone he did not want to deal with but it was part of the price he had to pay.
Hopefully the trip would not be too painful.
-R-
Silence, pure silence.
The only sound she heard was the one of her pen tapping against the edge of her notebook. And she only made that sound to break the silence. She could not understand why the quietness bothered her. After all, Sesshomaru was not a loud person - oh and he was not the type to chit chat. As a matter of fact, it was often quiet. Perhaps it was not the lack of sound that disturbed her but the emptiness of the place. He was not gone to work, he was not coming back in a few hours. He vanished for a while. Vanished. Was that the right word? She was aware of his departure. He said goodbye. He even got a cellphone. And called her mom - something he truly did not need to do.
And she was not going to call him. Nothing would be important enough to pester him and he deserved some time away from all of this - from her.
At least she did manage to persuade her mom to stay home. Even though it took great effort. After all this time, she should be able to take care of herself. She could walk, she could move around. Even her verbal speech was a lot better than before - not that she would be speaking to anyone.
This was a step in the right direction.
Plus…perhaps it would be good for her and Sesshomaru to be apart. Mostly because she was not sure how to deal with the increasing rapprochements between them. They needed more, they had to do more. She did not know the first thing about doing more! And with Sesshomaru! Although, if she was to be honest… she had to admit it was not the worst thing in the world. Even when she was blushing furiously, she was comfortable in his presence. He brought her peace and she was calm whenever he was around. Without him, her sleep was restless. She did not even know if she would be able to rest while he was gone.
She wondered if it would be same for him?
Probably not.
After all, the situations were getting awkward to say the least. She could not pretend she did not feel it that night. Obviously they would not speak about it but it had to be weighing on his mind. Ignoring it until it was necessary to speak about it was the way Sesshomaru dealt with things. She would go along with it for his sake. It was the least she could do. It was her who was affecting him, her who was rendering him weaker and filed with emotions he was not used to - it was because of the bond he was forced to make between them.
Kagome shook her head, clearing her mind. She would not think about it anymore and she would not think about his private life and thoughts; they were not in a relationship. He did not tell her where he was heading. She did not ask. He had his life and she had hers. Yes, they shared a bit more of time together and they had some bit of… physical intimacy but it did not mean anything. She knew Sesshomaru and she knew herself. They would not work in a relationship - not that a relationship was even a possibility for them. But if for some crazy reason it ever was an option, it would not work. They were very different people and Sesshomaru was not one to do feelings, relationships or humans.
There was one question on her mind though; what would she do?
It was there, no matter how much she fought to ignore it; she noticed his missing presence. She had to keep her mind busy, distract herself from the obvious and dwell into an activity. She was limited. She was independent but not foolish. It was no time to push herself to her limits now that she was alone. Walks were out of the questions, it was not as though she wanted to be out there shopping and whatnot. She had some work to do but not enough. Read a book? She did a lot of that at the hospital. Maybe she could draw some more? He did get her a lot of supplies - although her inspiration was not very present for the time being. Watch movies? Maybe. After all, she avoided romantic comedy and sappy movies while Sesshomaru was around. She had a feeling those types of movies did not rank very high on his list.
She sighed before running the tip of her fingers on her growing peach fuzz of hair.
A movie. It was the winner.
It would distract her from the loneliness creeping up inside of her.
-R-
"Well, if there is one person I never thought I'd see again…"
"It is not polite to leave your guests waiting outside."
He did not want anyone to spot him, he did not wish for anyone to speak with him. Sesshomaru was rather familiar with this area and he could sense too many youkais occupied the vicinity. His aura was fairly recognizable and he did not wish for that. It was best if he came, did what he had to do and left. Although, he knew the old man would not make it that simple. This would come with questions and probably services. He was willing to pay the price; it had to be solved no matter what. Neither he or Kagome could go on like this.
"You ain't a guest, you invited yourself."
"Totosai," Sesshomaru warned.
The old man scoffed before dismissing Sesshomaru with a wave of the hand. Nonetheless, he moved out of the way and let him walk inside the house. Never in a million years did he think he would see the oldest son of Inutaisho again. Last time they crossed paths was that Inuyasha's funeral many centuries ago. He remained a private person and in this changing world, nobody needed his service anymore. It was him and his three-eyed cow, Mo-Mo. A farm was the best way to go to hide him and this way Totosai did not need any help to make it on his own. He could grow whatever his heart desired and pretend he was not living in this human world. The years went by but he did not pass away. He lived far longer than his own expectation.
And yet, he could still be surprised.
Sesshomaru standing in his house was proof of that.
"Now, why would ya need me?"
"I need to speak with Inuyasha."
He frowned. "Ya brother's dead."
"There are ways."
Spirit communication was tricky. To top if all off, he would need an interpret. Sesshomaru would not actually be speaking with his brother - Totosai would. It did bother him slightly since he would have to share a bit more than he intended and he would have to rely on Totosai's translations but it was the only way available. He would work with what he had. Inuyasha was hardly a love expert but he did form a bond - with a human nonetheless. Surely he must have felt all those emotions, even if his bond was completed the proper way. Also, his half-brother could hardly handle emotions well. Rage and rudeness were often the ways he used to let off some steam. His experiences would previous similar dealings would be beneficial.
"I don't do that."
"You have in the past."
"Maybe his spirit is gone."
"I am willing to try it regardless."
Totosai sighed. He almost lived a normal life now, he did not do these things anymore. Then again, he always dire more for Inutaisho's sons than anyone else. He put up with their awful attitudes and he gave them more swords than he should have. After Inutaisho's death he probably grew soft. Plus, he could hardly find a way out of this situation. Sesshomaru was his father's son and he would not leave until he obtained what he came for - it would be easier to get on with it and finish this whole thing rapidly. How did he always get himself stuck between Sesshomaru and Inuyasha? At least it was not for a sword this time.
Although he was wondering... what in the world could Sesshomaru have to say to his younger brother. They had a lot to say in the past but never spoke of it...
"Fine. Gimme a moment."
Totosai vanished into another room and Sesshomaru scanned the vicinity. He quickly spotted a wooden chair, covered in a forest green cushion, and decided it would make an acceptable seat. He walked over and sat down. He could not say that the conversation would go smoothly. He was fairly certain this was not what Inuyasha had in mind when he asked him to look after Kagome. Though to be perfectly honest it was this or death. Also, Inuyasha was the closest thing to family and if hr had to discuss such a sensitive subject it would not be with a stranger.
Minutes slowly turned into nearly an hour. After what appeared like an eternity, Totosai came back with his arms filled with objects Sesshomaru could not identify. He laid them across a caramel brown carpet patterned with geometric symbols and kneeled down in front of them.
"Come," he finally said.
Without speaking a word, Sesshomaru joined him and imitated his actions. Totosai lifted the ivory colored kettle and poured the deep red liquid that was inside into a soft yellow cup. He filled it to the rim and put the kettle down before lifting the cup. The red liquid shifted in waves from one side to the other, nearly spilling out of the cup. His hands were as steady as possible as he lifted it to Sesshomaru's mouth's height, offering the drink to him.
"Drink."
Sesshomaru raised one of his perfectly shaped eyebrow, slightly suspicious. Obviously the old fool would not try to poison him, not that it would have much effect on him. Still, he could not help the mistrust he experienced in the pit of stomach. Regardless, he was forced to take the cup from Totosai. He snatched it away and wrapped his long fingers around it. The ceramic was cold to the touch as he put it against his lips. He dared to tip it forward, letting it leak down his mouth and into his throat. It burned all the way down until no more liquid was left. Once he swallowed, he put the cup down and opened his eyes, waiting for the next part.
Although, he was still confused that he was the one who had to drink the liquid. Was Totosai not the one who would speak with his brother?
He lifted his gaze to stare at the old man and noticed that something was different about his expression. He looked quite pleased with himself as the corner of his mouth was tugged into a smirk. His hands were intertwined while he appeared to be patiently waiting for something to happen. Perhaps Sesshomaru was right not to trust him in the first place. He dared to glance down and saw that a light grey smoke was coming out of the kettle. It did not do that in the beginning did it? He could not recall the presence of smoke when Totosai first poured the drink.
"When will you be speaking with Inuyasha?" He finally asked when nothing else happened.
Totosai's smile grew in size. "I will not be the one to talk with your thick skull brother."
"This is the reason behind my presence here."
"No, you came here to talk to him."
"Yes."
"Then ya'll talk to him."
Before the full meaning of his words sunk in, Sesshomaru felt a spell of dizziness over come him. Suddenly, his visions was slightly blurry and he was having a hard time focusing. He was forced to lean back on his hand simply to keep himself from falling to the ground.
"What did you do?" he spat out in anger.
"I'm making sure ya talk to your brother."
Inuyasha was stubborn but so was Sesshomaru. He decided that he had no desire to get caught in the middle of them. If they had an issue to discuss, it was much better if they dealt with it themselves. His smile would not leave his face as he picked up a piece of red fabric that Sesshomaru easily recognized as Inuyasha's fire rat robes. Why did the old man have that? Where did he get it? He could barely see by the time Totosai began burning the crimson fabric. Once it dissipated into smoke, Sesshomaru found himself completely unable to resist the urge that took over him. He gave into his heavy eyelids and closed his eyes.
At first, he fell into unconsciousness and everything was blackness. After a moment, he felt himself regain control of his body. He was able to lift his head and stare around him. Everything was a dark hue of grey with no walls or ground. It was like he was prisoner inside a ball of darkness. He weakly managed to make it to his feet, his head throbbing with an intense pain he had only ever felt while taking's on Kagome's agony in the past. He searched the vicinity, hoping to see either Inuyasha or Totosai but it appeared that he was completely alone in the abyss. Instead of calling out to someone, he kept walking although he doubted he was making any progress in any direction.
"This better be worth burning my damn clothes."
He knew that voice all too well. "Inuyasha," he greeted.
When his half-brother finally stepped into the light, he was not like Sesshomaru expected him to be. His whole body, on top of being somewhat transparent, had a hue of grey to it. His features and his expression were the same though. His arms were crossed in front of his chest as he leaned against the non visible wall.
"Whaddaya want?" He took a step forward. "Ya just couldn't leave me alone could ya?"
His face was much like the last time Sesshomaru saw him; cursed by his half humanity. Wrinkles covered his skin, flesh hung lower than before and his lips were carved by sinking lines. He wasold. He became old much sooner than he should have because of his weaker blood. Although that never stopped him from being an annoying pain in the ass. It was a trait he carried on from the moment he was born until the day he died. Although - Sesshomaru would have to admit he became slightly more tolerable once Kagome left the Feudal Era. It grounded him, it made him sadder…despite the fact that he seemed to live a happy life despite it all.
"It is about Kagome."
"I never asked ya for anything!" he immediately said in anger. "All I asked was for ya to make sure she was fine. Don't tell me ya couldn't even do that."
"I saved her from death," he said through gritted teeth.
"Death?" Inuyasha asked, taken back.
"She was dying of cancer - her body was destroying itself."
He saw the shine of twinkle of tears in Inuyasha's eyes but none of them escaped his eyes. "She- is she okay?"
He nodded. "I saved her."
"How?"
This was the past he had been dreading. "I mated her."
Flashes of emotions traveled across Inuyasha's face and he seemed unable to settle on one. Anger, pain, betrayal; it was all there, vividly present in his dull amber eyes.
"You did what?"
"It was the only way."
"I didn't tell you to touch her."
He saw his half-brother running towards him, ready to lunge at him, but instead of their bodies colliding together, Inuyasha went right through him. He landed loudly on the ground, his face hitting the floor first. He was panting heavily, his fangs sticking out of his mouth. Kagome - Kagome was his. He had a his, he had a lovely woman he loved but - but Kagome was his. She certainly was not his brother's. She was not his to lay his hands on.
"I did not touch her physically. I only bit her."
Inuyasha lifted himself off the ground but refused to turn around; he did not want to look at him, not yet. The rage was swirling inside of him and it was too much. He imagined them together, he imagined them in love and even though it was impossible for his brother to love a human, the images refused to leave his mind.
"You can't mate her by just biting."
"You can." Although it apparently brought forward a bunch of problems for them. Hence the reason for his presence but he would wait to share all the details. It was no use giving his brother all the information; when Inuyasha was angry it would cloud his judgement.
"So, you call me here, you take me away from my resting place just to tell me you mated Kagome? It's been awhile since you've stopped that low Sesshomaru."
"I am here because I require your assistance." His brother did always make it quite difficult to be civil. Also, now he realized how hard it would be to discuss about his current dilemma. He expected him to be stubborn but not that much of a brat.
"You need my help. With Kagome?"
This time, he was forced to turn around. There was so much he wanted to know and yet he did not ask any questions. How was she doing? Why in the world did she accept to be mated to his brother? Then again, if Sesshomaru did it - it must have been a last resort. His brother would never tie himself down to a human. Inuyasha did ask him to look after her but… he never thought it would mean like that. Was Kagome happy despite the arrangement? Was she healing? Was she going to leave him eventually?
"I have always treated her with respect." He saw the unspoken questions in Inuyasha's eyes.
"Ya better."
"She can do as she pleases. She is free to do as she wishes and I impose no rules on her."
"Then why do ya need my help?"
Sesshomaru pinched his lips, pondering how to begin this conversation. This was not an area where he was knowledgeable or comfortable. Inuyasha was also the last person he ever thought he would be having this discussion with - it did not make it easier.
"The bond is being rather difficult."
"What do ya mean?"
"I have been able to - " He paused. "Feel her sickness and her emotions."
"Sounds like an improvement rather than a problem," Inuyasha commented. His brother could always use a bit more emotions. It was what made him so empty and so unlikeable.
"Our bond is not completed."
"Ya I told ya."
"It wants to be completed."
The full impact of his words downed upon Inuyasha who frowned at the statement. It was to be expected. He had troubles with his bond at first too. Nobody taught him to be a youkai - he was all on his own. He knew about mating, he knew of the urges that overcame him but he had no clues about the specific. He had to learn it on his own through trials and errors. He thought it only involved biting but he soon understand they needed a physical connection as well. Some days, it even hurt him to have half a bond. His mate, who was human, did not handle it well. It made him fear for the kind of pain his Kagome might find herself in.
But - but he did not want his brother touching her.
"So what do you need my help with?"
"I wish to avoid it."
"Ya won't be able to."
"I wish to avoid it as long as possible," he corrected.
He too came to the same conclusion as Inuyasha. However, in case - in case they might be able to find a solution to this, or perhaps a way to break the mating once she was fully healed - he would rather only used that as a last minute resort.
"And you want me to do what?"
"I do not know how to deal with humans."
"You want me to tell ya how to fool around with her?"
Sesshomaru sighed; he had a feeling this would be a very unpleasant and long conversation. Hopefully, all of this was not for nothing. Hopefully, he would find an answer to his questions and he would be able to push back the inevitable.
-R-
The moon was high in the sky, the darkness peaking through Kagome's window as she laid in her bed, completely restless. It had been that way ever since Sesshomaru left. Every time she closed her eyes in the hope of finding rest, she failed. Sometimes she fell asleep, out of exhaustion, but it never lasted very long. She always ended up realizing that he was not there and that she was all alone. It did not bother her but her body seemed to mind. Especially now that they shared at bed it was hard to deal with the emptiness beside her. She needed to feel his presence.
She would not tell him. Although the dark circles beneath her eyes would be quite a task to hide. Perhaps he would not ask. Perhaps he would think the cause was something else entirely.
Kagome tossed yet again, and laid on her side, staring out the window. Her curtains were not completely closed, allowing her to stare at the starry night. She was fine being alone since she got sick. She certainly did not need him around all the time - and yet she missed him. Maybe he felt the same way? It was unfair to the both of them. He really did not want this, she knew that. She - never planned for this. It was not like she loved Sesshomaru or that she even liked him. She liked him a friendship way not in a loving way. She respected him and she was grateful for everything he did for her. She owed him a lot. He sacrificed a lot for her and he still had to do it.
The least she could do was burden him as little as she could.
She could hold back those feelings, she could push away the loneliness.
Some days were harder than most. She never forgot the depression, the darkness that lurked in her mind. Sometimes, it was still there, waiting to take back control. The loneliness, the pain of missing someone; it did not help keep it at bay. But each day, she fought, each day she made sure she would win the fight against it. She was not about to stop now. There was no way she went through so much only to give up now. Sesshomaru would not let her anyway.
Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door. In a flash, she sat up in her bed, her body in alert and she waited for more sounds. And they came. She heard it close and she heard someone drop keys down on the desk. Sesshomaru was back. Her heart raced and she was hopeless in stopping it. She clutched her hands around the blue sheets, keeping herself still and in place. She would not go to him, she would let him arrive and do as he pleased. He was probably exhausted from - doing whatever it was he did. She leaned against the headboard and waited, her breath hitched in her throat. She heard all of his footsteps, she heard him head into the kitchen. It was rather strange since Sesshomaru was usually a quiet person.
He had to know she was not asleep.
He could probably feel her just as much as she could feel him. Although his aura was rather calm unlike hers which was probably hectic.
Would he come see her? Did she want him to come see her?
He did not owe her anything. He did not have to say hi, he did not need to wish her a good night.
They were both free. This was not a relationship.
She finally let go of the sheet before sliding down in her bed. She closed her eyes, hoping to slow down her heartbeat so that she would appear to be sleeping. She did not want him to feel as though he had to check up on her. She would not be the one to influence his decision. She turned to her left side, her back now facing the door. She controlled her breathing, as she waited to see if she would hear him again. But this time, he returned to a completely quiet state. Unless? Perhaps he fell asleep on the couch? She would have heard him return to his room would she have not? She began tapping her foot, waiting.
So what if he slept on the couch? Perhaps it was what he decided to do. It was his decision.
What Kagome did not expect was a knock on her door.
It was soft and quiet; it was very much like him. Instead of telling him to come in, she sat down in her bed, tossed away the blankets before standing up. She slowly walked towards the door and opened it with a shaky hand. Behind it, she saw Sesshomaru standing, his hands behind his back.
"Hey," she said, breaking the silence.
"I have returned."
"Did you have a good trip?" She did not think he was one for vacation or for fun trips meaning it might be business related or whatnot but she would not ask.
"In sort, yes." Seeing and speaking with his half-brother hardly qualified as good. It did give him some answers despite the fact that the conversation was awfully awkward to have.
"I'm glad," she said with a smile.
"Did I wake you?"
"No, I was - " Not sleeping because she could not without him? "Reading."
He could point out that her room was engulfed in darkness which would make it impossible for her to read but he let her lie. He had other things on his mind. He thought he would be fine, seeing her after a few days. He was wrong; he had this overwhelming urge to feel her body close to his. He wanted to run his fingers across her flesh. He wanted to taste her; all of these thought were a bad idea. He made sure not to take a step closer, he made sure to keep a safe distance. His body missed hers. It was a good thing he was restless during his trip; instead of sleeping, he drove. It saved him a lot of time.
He should now tell her good night, he should leave. She should do the same. Instead she waited, she stared at him.
Kagome's body was locked in position. Her body missed his presence but having him in front of her was an entirely different thing. She was shy, she would never go toward him. It did not mind she was not hoping he would make the first move. It was still awkward between them even though they acknowledge the need that formed in their mind and took hold of their bodies.
"Well -" she began, ready to say good night. She had to close the door. She had to go back in her own bed while he went in his. "Did - did you wanna come in?"
A blush crept up on her pale cheeks and she was forced to look away. They did say they would do this again did they not? It was normal for her to ask. It was not like she would be upset if he refused her proposal. She was only asking - asking because she needed it. Maybe he did too.
He should say no even though he already agree this was acceptable. His body wanted to say yes. He wanted to take her hand in his and follow her to her bed. Those urges were new to him. His body was being very demanding, he wanted more than usual. He felt out of control. It could easily be blamed on the fact that this was the first time he spent so much time away from her. He wanted to share some of his discoveries and run by her a few ideas like he promised but now he could barely focus on that. He missed her.
He did not give her a verbal answer, instead, he nodded. She did not even have a chance to back away that he took a step forward. He meant to wait, he meant to follow her to the bed and laid down beside her but it was not what happened. His mental image from earlier was too strong. He took hold of her hand while her back was facing him and he pulled her against his body. She gasped in surprise as their chests collided. She stared at him, a hint of confusion in her eyes. He pushed that aside and instead wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her into a hug. At first she stayed surprised but then she wrapped her arms around him as well.
Her head was against his chest and she could hear his heart beating. They remained like this for a few minutes, until she raised her head to look at him. He avoided her eyes, not wanting to give in to any more urges. He already did more than he should. He did bend down slightly and pressed his lips to the side of her head. Her eyes bulged a bit but then, he let go of her and she was forced to do the same. He led the way to the bed and she followed, her whole body shaking both in fear and excitement.
Anything happened. Anything could happened.
He laid down on the left side and she took the right side. His arms snaked around her waist and held her close to her body. She could feel his dilemma, his need pulsing through her. He had to be exerting self control because with what she was feeling, there was no way he could be so calm. There was a battle going on inside of her but she refused to let it win, she held it back. Though, she was certain he could tell. She could feel the sweat that began to cover her skin, rising her body temperature. She shook in his arms but he pretend she did not. As he held her closer and closer, it began to be impossible to ignore the hardness that pressed in her backside.
They were doomed by their bond.
As they lay down beside each other, their self control holding by a shred after being apart for so many days…it became obvious.
Even though could not stop it, no matter what. They could only delay it.
She did not know if it was scary or exciting.
-R-
- 13
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- 15
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