Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Past Lives, Current Conflictions	By : drcomalfy Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 18451 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
Author's Note: Just FYI, next chapter, I believe, is the FINAL chapter D8

Chapter 15: The Consequences of Wrong Actions
All Inuyasha could do was struggle feebly against his sibling’s strength, sightless and confused of why such terror resonated within his body at this abrupt attack
Then he smelled it; the alcohol on his sibling’s breath, on his hands, and in his insane strength. There was a sense of fear for his well being, of possibly being raped by the intoxicated and- for whatever reason angry- youkai. But there was an even larger fear nearly paralyzing him as well; the fear that had stayed with him ever since his mother’s death. Something he wasn’t willing to think on beyond that point, never mind the position he was in.
Something thrummed through him then, a sense of anger, rage... and the half-demon pushed himself further into the bed, twisted on his side before angling a sharp, backwards kick to his brother’s ribs, sending the demon off the bed.
He wasn’t thinking- couldn’t afford to- but he’d be damned if he stayed there. Inuyasha sprinted out of the room, running to the one place no sane, sober or intoxicated, demon would even think of trying to get into when locked.
Their father’s room.

- - -
He’d woken from the night terror the next morning... and simply stared sightlessly in front of him, trying to make some sense of his groggy, confused state before the impact of what he’d been dreaming about... of what happened last night hit him like a bucket of cold water.
Had he... really tried to rape Inuyasha? No... No. He promptly shook his head, something inside him rebelling against the idea that he’d ever stoop so low... but there was an equal feeling there that told him he had tried, and he couldn’t shake that sheer fact of fear.
It was only clarified as he went throughout the day, no sign of the hanyou anywhere and minor, though no less significant, visions assaulting every single one of his senses of the night before, forcing him to remember, to relive what he almost did...
When the most recent and most horrifying vision had ceased, it’d left Sesshomaru in a heaving, sweaty mess in the kitchen, gripping the fridge hard enough to leave indentation marks in the steel as his sight finally returned to him. He’d gazed around the room, eyes wide, before he tore through the house and called out the half-demon’s name desperately.
However, upon no response or indication the hanyou was even home Sesshomaru’s legs gave out and he crumpled to the floor as he stared at his own claws... the same claws that had apparently immobilized his brother... the same ones that had torn at the boy’s clothing... that had drawn his blood.
Had he actually raped him? Sesshomaru wondered once more. He didn’t know. He knew what the first few visions had shown him... and it hadn’t led him to any definitive conclusions... only anger, lust, pain and horror.
What if Inuyasha had been hurt so badly he had gone to the ER? Could he have hurt him so severely? Even while intoxicated? Even while feeling the way he did about the other?
He shook his head. No... no. He wouldn’t have... couldn’t...
When he’d gone out drinking with his friends last night he hadn’t intended to do something like this... He’d only wanted to forget the knowledge that his brother had been with someone... that he’d shared his body with another person... And to that girl of all people?! How could he ever compete with a female? A female that treated his brother decently, kindly... He’d felt his situation hopeless. And so he’d drunk to forget her, forget Inuyasha... forget the lust and the shame that he was drowning in for that same reason.
As the demon sat there reflecting upon the corridor floor, head lolling in his hands, he suddenly heard a door on the second floor close with a clip, his head snapping up and eyes widening.
That was the door to the small dojo they owned! Inuyasha was in the dojo!
Sesshomaru bolted downstairs, throwing the screen to the side with little care to it nearly breaking in half as he stood frozen in the doorway, staring at the one he’d been agonizing about all day...
“In-...Inuyasha...” he rasped out in relief, walking slowly to him for fear he was just an illusion. He noticed the growing panic in the hanyou’s eyes but continued on, sure that if he could just touch him... just talk to him that it’d be okay. “Inuyasha... you’re alright... You-”
As Sesshomaru got closer, the half-demon felt more and more trapped, the beginnings of a panic attack threatening to engulf him.
And then it happened faster than Sesshomaru could see... the half-demon’s body ceased in trembling, standing straighter, more resolute as a shadow washed over his face for a brief moment.
“If you come any closer, I will break as many bones in your body as I can, no matter what my vessel feels for you, Ru,” the deeper voice of Inuyasha’s old soul said darkly, holding the kendo sword in his hand aloft, darker gold eyes shimmering now under the lighting in the dojo dangerously as he looked at the other.
Sesshomaru shook his head sadly, his mind still in a state of chaos as he continued moving forward. “I can’t... I have to make sure he’s okay-”
“The fuck you will, I warned you,” the warrior hanyou snarled as he leapt forward and attacked head on.
Sesshomaru didn’t stand a chance. Nor did he try defending himself as the bamboo sword landed hit after slapping hit upon his person, leaving bruises of various colors and sizes all over his body.
The assault continued until the demon fell into unconscious...
And then there was nothing but black.

- - -
It was the dead of night when Sesshomaru’s eyes opened, the color a pale, piercing yellow, the only clear sign that the old soul of the daiyoukai was present and in control as his vessel was forced to sleep fitfully. He closed his eyes, willing the feelings both of their souls felt away for the time being, at least for the time being.
He sighed, wincing, as he sat up in bed, hissing slightly at the bruises and cuts his body still had yet to heal from his mate’s earlier attack. Shaking his head through the pain he concentrated instead on clearing his mind and searching for the young hanyou’s locale. Upon finding him vacant from inside the large home, he stood walking over to his window.
It was a rather humid night he noted, inhaling the muggy air and all the things that clung to it. His eyes narrowed then as he found the person he was looking for by scent, not once hesitating in his self-imposed mission as he jumped out of the third story window. He landed silently and took off into the forest, his path set toward the direction of the fort that lied further within.
His pace slowed as he came to the clearing, his gaze softening with relief and sadness as he spotted his mate’s vessel sitting on top of the large structure merely staring up at the moon. He approached cautiously, making sure his footsteps were heard as he came up behind the boy, pausing at the base of the fort.
“You shouldn’t be out here alone,” the daiyoukai said softly.
“Leave,” came the boy’s dark voice as he hugged his legs closer to himself.
The Lord winced at the underlying threat laced within those words, but shook his head, reaffirming his intentions for this visit. He leaped up onto the top of the fort, taking a seat next to the hanyou.
Inuyasha growled fiercely, his arms unwrapping as he made to jump off and get the hell away before he paused in his actions at the soft touch of a hand on his shoulder. He snarled as he turned, raising his claws to strike.
“It’s unsafe to be out here alone, little hanyou.”
Inuyasha blinked, slowly lowering his arm as he finally realized it wasn’t his sibling... but that of the old feudal lord inhabiting his body. There was a terribly sorrowful look shimmering around his eyes, a haunted, pained expression crippling the usually proud youkai.
Despite that, the half-demon’s heart rate still hadn’t slowed, his fear starting to override everything else. “I don’t want to see either of you right now, leave!” Inuyasha hissed.
“Please, listen to me for only a moment, young one,” the daiyoukai said softly.
“There ain’t nothing you have to say that I wanna hear, asshole.”
“Be that as it may,” Sesshomaru began softly. “I think it would be prudent for you to move past your pride and pain and sit through what I have to say.”
“Well you know what? You can take what you have to save and shove it up your-!”
“Please.”
Inuyasha snapped his mouth shut, taken aback at the sound and look in Sesshomaru’s voice and face. He resigned himself to listening and merely sat there, staring up at the moon angrily.
“My mate is in as much pain as you are. He feels what you feel, though he feels it much more deeply than you, for he’s had to experience the full incident of what you only almost went through the other night since his first life.”
Inuyasha turned wide eyes toward the demon, shocked. “W-What?” Did he mean...
“I suppose I ought to explain from the beginning, of how we were cursed to live, essentially, forever,” the daiyoukai said as he, too, gazed at the moon wistfully. “I apologize, but this will be a rather lengthy story...”
Inuyasha fidgeted next to him but stayed put. That was his cue to continue.
“As you know, we’re originally from the Sengoku period. Back then... I had... gone through a period where I could not, would not touch Inuyasha. I acted like this because our relationship, as sordid and wrong as it may be to some, was found out by someone other than us, someone that had no business in knowing of our affair. The information they had then was used in hopes of severing us apart... and it almost did.
“The priestess that had come to know of our relationship was nothing but a vengeful, soulless harlot. It’s been so long since then... I hardly remember why it bothered her anymore, only that we were cursed just after an incident where Inuyasha and I reconciled with one another. But I’m getting ahead of everything.
“After the priestess had found us out, she besmirched our family’s name and capability of ruling, spreading word of the nature of Inuyasha’s and my relationship and polluting the thoughts of our kingdom. Due to the outbreak of resistance among the land at this news I recoiled from him. Naturally, he tried to convince me that it didn’t matter what other’s thought... I didn’t listen. Instead, I chose to roam the countryside in solitary for a few months.
“In that short span of time, however, I was driven mad by not being able to see him, to hold him, to not be able to feel him under me, touching me... I almost returned home to rekindle what we had... but in the end I caught myself before I made such a grave error. I had temporarily exiled myself from being by his side to regain my wits, and to punish myself for having defiled him, for having coerced him into such a... complicated relationship... a forbidden, incestual affair. I wouldn’t realize it until later that those thoughts did not belong to me fully. They were the first weavings of that witch’s spell taking effect.
“However, none of that became apparent right away. So those confrontational feelings consumed me during my journey, as well as when I returned home. They plagued me even while the people of the kingdom, and my own family no less, welcomed me home with warm smiles and embraces... Even then I still could not rid myself of the feelings of shame and anger I carried. Shame for hurting someone I claimed to love with my selfish desires..., and anger at him for not stopping me in the time before I left when I would approach him, for not protesting when I would touch him as a brother shouldn’t. For being so beautiful, so enticing and so forbidden to me.
“I was a daiyoukai now, the new Lord of the West, having inherited the throne from my father when he felt his reign was over, and one of such rapport I was denied nothing, from anyone. I would not be denied the pleasures that I felt when I was with Inuyasha. But my moral mind and the curse’s affect collided, confusing and clouding my judgment. I found myself in the forest named after him one evening, drinking myself to a point where my feelings of shame and guilt were evaporated into nothing more than lust and anger.
“I found Inuyasha near the tree he had been sealed to when he was younger then, easily catching him unawares, and when he realized who it was that had tackled him to the ground he eased a bit. That is, until he smelt the sake on my breath. He tried to break free but... He was rendered powerless within my claws.” A distant, pained expression fell over the demon’s face at the memory.
“And because of my anger at the situation that human bitch had placed us in, because of the lust I felt for my own kin and the shame that came along with that... I raped him. I took him against his will, and at the time, from what little I remember of that hazy moment of madness, I enjoyed it,” the daiyoukai’s speech faded into silence for a few moments, his mind elsewhere until he began speaking again.
“‘Reliving every moment of your life, the good, and the terrible, is your greatest curse, and your greatest gift, until the day your bloods true blood, reincarnated, shall you be able to rest from lifetimes of pain and regret. This is your punishment for your unforgivable sin, for your soul will always be born, never let to rest until, and only if, your reunited blood accepts your ill-fated affaire as their own.’ That is the nature of our curse,” the demon said, a bitter laugh escaping him then. “She had an ill humor about her to wait until after the event she foresaw happened to then speak the final incantation that preserved our fate.”
“You mean, she... waited until after you-... “ Inuyasha tried saying, finding himself nauseous.
“Yes, that harlot waited until after I’d raped Inuyasha to come upon us and speak those final words that sealed the curse in place. Ever since then, he has had to endure my mistake each time we are reincarnated into another’s body.”
The old demon lord turned to Inuyasha then as he spoke. “Can you see now, while not fair by any means, why the things that have happened between your brother and you occurred? It was cursed to. Yet... somehow, someway, your course has changed from what ours was. It is overwhelming proof that you are our true heirs, that you have the power to overcome the curse.
“Even so, remember this: That fact still does not make what your brother did, what he planned to DO, forgivable by any means, young one. His assault on you...”
Inuyasha started to hyperventilate, his eyes shaking as he refused to cry out; he wasn’t sure what to do, what to feel; should he be angry with his brother for what he did or understanding? Should he- A warm hand landed softly on his shoulder then, the simple touch stopping any and all possible hysteria.
“Calm down, youngling, you’re safe. I can assure you he, nor I, will hurt you ever again. Despite that fact, do not feel as if you need to forgive him just yet for what he has done. While I know he feels immense guilt for it and will for the rest of his life, he will need to be tortured with the knowledge of the pain that he has caused you for a yet a while longer.”
Inuyasha’s brows creased as he somehow knew the demon was telling him the truth; that neither of them would hurt him again. And then a thought occurred to him as he gazed at the youkai.
“When you say ‘he needs to be tortured a bit longer,’ you... you’re really punishing yourself more than him, aren’t you?” Inuyasha observed. “I think... I understand...” he trailed off, smiling sadly to himself. He felt a pull in the back of his mind and he gladly gave up his awareness to the other residing within him.
The daiyoukai kept his eyes on the moon despite the shock that coursed through him at what the young hanyou said. He sighed, relenting. “I deserve far worse than a few weeks of silence for the crime I committed upon my mate’s body all those centuries ago, this is true.”
“Though,” a deeper voice said then, startling Sesshomaru who turned his head to look at the young inu in confusion. “I never would have realized- in whatever strange, fucked up way - how much you meant to me, had we not gone through that horrible time, aniki...”
“Koi...” Sesshomaru breathed at the sight of his mate before he turned away again, steeling himself. “You know as well as I do any assault on one you love should never conceivably work out after-”
“That may be the case usually. But I’ll be damned if I allow another person’s stupid opinion, yours included, to tell me how I should or shouldn’t feel about someone. What happened was a mistake. It wouldn’t have even come to pass had Kikyou never interfered.”
“Inuyasha-”
“NO!” the old soul of the hanyou hissed, banging his fists against the roof of the fort. “I don’t care about anyone’s psychobabble bullshit. I love you. No matter what. Something bad happened but we were able to overcome it, so fuck everyone else. I just love you,” he said, his face pained as he leaned into his mate.
“Otouto...” Sesshomaru whispers, opening his arms.
“I’m... fine. Sorry. This whole thing has overwhelmed me like usual... but I’ll be okay. Because things are already starting to change. What happened to me back then and up until this lifetime has always been resolute. The pattern has never changed once... until the other night. Whether it was my vessel’s doing or Ru’s... they changed the course of our future… Things look much brighter now, Sesshomaru.”

“I concur, we may finally get to rest if things continue in this fashion. It will be clearer if they are able to reconcile in light of the attack. If they can do that, the curse will slowly fall apart and we’ll be released.”
Inuyasha allowed himself to smile as he leaned into his brother’s embrace, staring up at the moon. “Yeah, Kikyou made sure to emphasize that part of the curse so that we would lose hope of ever being at peace... that our incarnations up until now would always go through what we did and then never reconcile... But with these two... She underestimated our feelings, niisan.”
“That she did, otouto. That she did,” Sesshomaru replied as he rested his head on top of his sibling’s, the old souls embracing as they sat there throughout the night, watching as the night sky faded into the light of dawn.

Chapter end.
- 14
- 15
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Past Lives, Current Conflictions