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The Poison of Erised	By : Vyncent Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 31633 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
The Poison of Erised!
by Vyncent
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::This story contains GRAPHIC violence, sexual content! You are WARNED::
Parts of this graphic, and of an adult nature, or violent, and will NOT be posted to FanFiction.net...

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If you do not like such content, then please be advised that this fic may not be appealing to you. Please do not read this if such content is offensive to you.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor any of the associated characters. But it ain't because I don't want or wish to do so.
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Chapter Sixteen - Reflections of Past and Present Truths!

Sister Moon was getting tired this night, and was slowly beckoning to the light of Brother Sun. The Children of the Night were settling in for a day's rest, while the Children of the Day was just beginning to stir in preparation for a bright new day. It promised to be another hot and steamy one. For now, however, the cool of the night still held sway and would for at least a short time longer.
This was the time of the night, when most knew to lay low and keep their own council. It was the most dangerous time of the night, when those that are on the prowl were most likely to find their prey off guard and to tired to be wary. It was that time of the night, when all seemed to hold its collective breath....waiting.....watching......listening.......praying!
For a small group of adventurers huddled together in a part of the deepest and darkest depths of a densely forested area, none of this mattered. For them, other concerns were of greater importance. Though there were six of them in all, only five of them were conscious enough to even be aware of the passage of time, and of those five, only three were actually awake. Of those three, only two were alert enough to at least be able to keep some kind of guard.
It would probably not have mattered whether they kept watch or not. As it was, there was enough of a disturbance to keep most predators at bay. While a simple disturbance would not normally be enough of a bother, the very fact that the phenomenon involved a large barrier that was made up of both youki and Miko ki provided a lot more deterence than most other forms of defence might have provided. It was most effective not only for those within, but also for those nearby on the outside looking in.
At the moment, the two youkai of the group were soundly sleeping trusting in the care and protection of their older pack mates to keep the things of nightmares at bay. It didn't mean that they were any less concerned about the going's on within the barrier. Indeed, they were just as concerned and worried as the others. The one, however, being but a child and the other of long years of feline calm in the face of much, found that slumber offered them a way to conserve strength for when it was really needed, or the means to temporarily escape the pressures that the mind of the young can only tolerate for so long.
The two ningen members of the group, were alert and keeping watch. It was something that for the most part, the fifth member of the group tended to do, however, at the moment the highly competent Taijiya and the normally hentai houshi were attending the this normal and usually quite necessary task. They had spent quite a bid of their time conversing about the events of this long, painful, and anything but pleasant night. It helped to keep them alert, while at the same time allowing them to speculate on the current events and trying to pull the various pieces of the strange puzzle that surrounded their sixth pack member, into some semblence of common sense.
The more that Miroku and Sango considered the few facts that they knew, the more convinced they became that they had been right all along. A little known and difficult to obtain potion, called the Potion of Erised, had been given to their pack sister Kagome. They were certain of this even though they did not possess any actual physical evidence to support their belief.
They were further convinced that the individual that had given it to her, was none other than Inuyasha's full youkai half brother Sesshoumaru. Although a little less sure, they felt confident that they knew why, as well, but had a strong belief that things had not worked out quite the way the Youkai Lord had originally planned.
What they were not sure of at all, was what kind of effects the Potion was having on Kagome. What were the dangers? What side effects were caused by the Potion itself? Were some of the changes that they had been witness to, do just to the Potion, Sesshoumaru's blood, or something more? How was it, or would it affect the powerful Miko energies that were Nature's gift to the young onna, but for which was had never received any kind of training? Would the fact that she was unable to control her powers further complicate things? What was the risk to not just her, but those around her?
Other questions made themselves known as the two talked, leaving even more concerns than they had originally thought. As had been the case with this strange situation, there were more questions than answers to be found. Things were slowly piecing together, but there was so much more yet to find out. For every question that arose, it seemed like another dozen reared their ugly heads demanding attention.
With a tired sigh, Sango spoke, "What do you think Kagome will do now?"
Miroku didn't answer right away and seemed almost lost in thought. About the time that Sango thought she would have to either repeat the question or give up on getting a response the houshi sighed, "That is truly difficult to say. A lot will depend upon what Inuyasha does or says next. Without a doubt he hurt her very deeply, and while I am sure she will readily forgive him as she usually does, there is sure to be a rift between them that is most likely going to change how they feel about each other."
"You don't mean to say that you believe that Kagome would actually come to no longer care for him, do you?" Sango asked with great concern. She knew just how deeply Kagome truly loved Inuyasha, had seen all of the times that the young onna had cried in heartache when the hanyou was injured or ran off to see Kikyou. It was hard to accept that the girl that she had come to consider a sister to her, would stop caring for the hanyou, and yet with all that she had gone through it was more of a miracle that she had not already done so.
"Iie," assured the wayward houshi, "but I do believe that while she will continue to care for and even love Inuyasha, it will more than likely become more of a sibling relationship than the more intimate desires that have been prevalent so far. Too much has occurred, not just because of our misguided friend's behavior, but also because of the actions of his equally misguided half brother."
Sango paused in thought at the houshi's words. What he said was hard to accept on an emotional level and she knew that it would not be easy for Kagome. Of course it would not be easy for any of them, but most of all for the young Miko. While the rest of the pack could see the changes, and by reason of the little bits and pieces that they had so far obtained or seen, deduct the course of the mystery, the young onna could not so readily do so.
She was not even allowed to remember the encounters with her mystery lover. There was no way to know for sure if the Youkai, Sesshoumaru or otherwise truly cared for her sister figure, or if it was all just for the sake of vengeance. The poor onna was not even allowed the option of being able to choose in this matter. She was just claimed by someone and didn't even know by whom or even have the pleasure of remembering their encounters. With luck and the strength of spirit and will that made Kagome, who and what she was, perhaps she would regain her memories and overcome the effects of the Potion, but how long would that take, and what other effects would she have to suffer before then?
"Poison..." murmured Sango, not even realizing that she had spoken out loud.
"What was that Sango-chan?" inquired Miroku having been drawn from his own contemplations of the situation.
"That Potion of Erised," she replied with a thoughtful and sad look on her face, "It is more of a Poison, than a Potion. Isn't it? Look at the damage it has wrought, not just in Kagome, but for all of us."
It was Miroku's turn to pause and considered what was said. It truth, the beautiful Taijiya had summed the matter up in exactly the right word. There was so much that remained unknown about this Potion and so much that could go wrong. Having seen so far the changes that his friend and sister like companion was experiencing and knowing the pain that it was bringing to everyone in the group, it truly was a Poison, no matter how it was described.
"Hai," he replied in sorrow and thought, "it really is a Poison. Let us just hope that we can find some means to, if not cure it, at least stop it from causing much more harm than it has already. Let us also hope that something can help both of our dear friends to come together in this time of trial and strife, rather than tear them further apart. That would be too much of a bonus for Naraku than I care to consider right now."
"I agreed," was the only thing that Sango could say to that, for deep in her heart she knew that if their little group was torn apart, there would be no one strong enough to face Naraku. As a group, they might not be the best, but they knew more about their enemy than anyone, and had taken it upon themselves to dedicate their lives to seeing to the dark hanyou's demise. They each had their own reasons for working towards that goal, and it was the little Miko that kept them all together and carried the heart of the pack they were all to stand proud as a part of.
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If he was in pain, it went unnoticed. If he was hungry or thirsty, it didn't show. He had long since failed to notice if it was warn, cold, day or night. All that filled his world was the young onna that he could not currently reach. She was so near, and at the same time so far, and the emotional agony of that separation along with the guilt of knowing that he was responsible, was all that consumed Inuyasha's conscious thoughts.
The occasional tear still found its way down his cheeks. Cheeks that seemed to be lightly burned, but that was only because he was sitting so close to the barrier that it felt like he was sitting on top of a mound of fire ants. Every inch of his skin, even that which was not exposed to the field was prickling and stinging. It had been the only move that he had made during the entire time he had been sitting and watching as the Inu Soul took care of the onna of the future. That being so close to the barrier as he was, meant nothing to the inu hanyou, except that he was that much closer to the one he cared the most about.
Miroku and Sango had made no move to stop him, or to pull him back. They knew it would be useless to try. Shippou, who had been sleeping in the hanyou's lap, had moved to lay beside Kirara near the campfire, finding the proximity to the barrier to be too much for his young youkai body to handle. Even that move went unnoticed by the silent hanyou.
Except for the stray tears, his silence was almost stoic. If one didn't look to closely at his eyes, they would have at first glance thought him to be just watching the scene before him with curiousity, but no other feeling whatsoever. It was the look in his eyes that made one see that this was a soul in deep torment. Torment that he had brought upon himself and now sat quietly berating himself for every single moment of pain and hell that he had put someone else through. Not just anyone, but someone that he was only just coming to realize meant almost more than life itself.
What happened to him no longer mattered. Whatever torture or punishment he was made to suffer was immaterial for in his heart he knew he deserved the pain. For the second time in his life, he had lost someone that he had loved. Someone who loved him, but who he had denied, even to himself that he truly cared for.
Oh, sure! Inuyasha was always doing what was necessary to protect Kagome. He had been doing that since they started on this long drawn out adventure to restore the broken jewel. But somewhere along the way, his reason for protecting her had become more than just because she could sense the jewel shards.
He remembered how scared he had been, when he thought that Manten had killed her. The thought of losing the first real friend that he had ever had was so painful it had left him shaken. Instead of telling her the truth, however, he had tried to cover up the way he felt and had worked all the harder to not let her know that she might mean something to him. At the time, he believed that it was because of the betrayal that he had suffered from Kikyou. They had yet to learn of Naraku's scheming, and he had not wanted to open himself to the possibilities of being stabbed in the back again.
When they had first run into Miroku, and he had kidnapped her, Inuyasha was so relieved when the rogue houshi had let her go and she was safe that for a moment he had forgotten the jewel shards. Later when the hentai houshi had dared to touch Kagome in an unseemly fashion, the surge of jealously that the hanyou had felt was something that he could not ignore. Once more, however, he denied that he had any feelings for the young onna, either to anyone else, but most of all, to himself.
At every turn, there was another moment when he might have at the very least admitted that he cared for Kagome, but not only did he deny it to himself, but to the world at large. The only time that he even came close to admitting otherwise, was on those occasions when that baka ookami prince decided to show his arrogant face and lay his hands on the Miko with little regard for whether she even wanted him to touch her or not. Those were the moments when Inuyasha found his blood boiling with jealousy, and uncontrollable rage, wanting nothing more than to rip Kouga apart and make it known to the world that Kagome was his, and no one else's.
When she had been possessed by the kuromiko, Tsubaki, or again later by the youkai Menomaru, and even when Akago had tried to darken the young Miko's soul, it was not her that Inuyasha was afraid of. No, instead, he was afraid for her. It was the thought that she was in danger and could be killed before he could do anything to help her that had scared him the worst.
As he had realized after they met Jinenji, everything was just so natural with Kagome there. Without even realizing it, she had become an integral part of the inu hanyou's life, and the idea of her not continuing to be a part of it, was like feeling Death knocking at your door. He could not live if something happened to her, but at the same time, he had ruined the only chance that he had of sharing a life with her that he had only dreamed of.
He had few options left to him now, and at this stage of the game, while it was too late for so many things, he was not going to continue to be the stupid half breed that everyone thought he was. He had hurt her badly, and for that he would suffer any punishment she chose for him. He would welcome any torture that was decreed suitable as retribution for his actions. He would not run away this time, and he was done lying to himself and everyone else.
Yes, Kikyou had died because of him, however, it had not been Inuyasha's fault. No, it had been Naraku's scheming and taking advantage of the lack of trust between the two of them. True, Inuyasha knew that at heart he had loved the once revered miko, but even he knew that what she was now, was nothing compared to what she had been. What the never aging miko needed now was to be put to rest and to find the peace that she had deserved.
The oath that he swore to go to hell with her, was the one that he had promised himself he would keep. Could he truly keep such a promise? Was he honour bound to uphold such an oath, when the truth was that he had not been responsible for Kikyou's untimely death? Could Miroku have been right about Kikyou being selfish? Was it only the lack of trust between them that had given Naraku the edge to put his plan so readily into effect?
As hanyou, Inuyasha had spent so much of his life being ridiculed for just existing. He fought harder to survive and try to make a place for himself just by his very existence. Yes, harder and sometimes more often, but still he survived and grew stronger with each experience. Being powerful and skilled in fighting was the primary goal of almost all youkai, and for years it was all that Inuyasha thought about and wanted.
If he could prove himself strong enough to defend himself and anything that he protected against any threat or danger, then he could gain respect and hold his head up proud, just like his older brother. Seeking the Shikon no Tama had been the fastest means for doing just that.
Meeting Kikyou and sharing his loneliness with her, showed him another side to life that he had not realized existed. It was something that he had never considered before, believing that the idea of friends and family were not possible for one such as him. He found himself for the first time in his life considering the possibilities of such dreams and what they might be life for him. Could he really have a family? Was it possible to find acceptance among others? Could he truly find someone to love?
As time progressed, he felt himself experiencing feelings for Kikyou that he had not had before. Having never even considered that such things were possible, at least for a hanyou, he found himself confused and at times almost overwhelmed by the rush of unfamiliar emotions. True, he had loved him haha-ue, but then that was only natural. When she had died, and he was left alone to fend for himself in a world of cruelty and intolerance, he had given up the childish dreams of ever feeling that way again.
He was hanyou, neither ningen, nor youkai. He belonged to neither and was hated and reviled by both. His only chance to belong anywhere and to achieve anything was to become stronger and more powerful, to become that which he was not, to become youkai and pure of blood. At least that was what he truly believed, even fifty years later, when Kagome released him from Kikyou's spell, Inuyasha hung onto the firmly rooted belief that being a half breed was the worst thing to be. At all cost and come what may he needed to find the means to become full youkai.
When he had learned that the Shikon no Tama could help him to achieve that aim, he was willing to go to any lengths to get what he desired. He had not reconned with the calling of his heart, or that someone like Kikyou would be the one to whom that call reached out. Even now, he had to admit that on some level he truly had loved her. The real question remained, however, had she truly loved him? Or was Kikyou, in her own way just using him to achieve her own goals, just like Naraku?
When he looked back on what Miroku had said, Inuyasha found himself questioning the relationship that he had shared with Kikyou more and more. With Kagome, he was free to be himself. She never asked that he change who or what he was and in fact, often told him that she thought he was best the way he was. With Kikyou, it had been totally different.
He had given up much of what he had been, believed and held to most of his life for her. He continued to fight other youkai. That was without question, however, he began to fight them more to help protect the village that Kikyou called home rather than just because he was defending himself. He had stopped wandering the land and settled in this forest that now held his name. He stayed near Kikyou as much as he could to help her whenever he could, and to just be near her.
When she had first proposed the idea of him using the Sacred Jewel to become ningen, his first reaction had been horror. Why would he choose to become something far less powerful than he already was? Why would he willingly choose to become weaker and more readily killed by those he had spent most of his life defending himself from? When he looked into her eyes, however, he could not seem to hold onto those thoughts and found himself readily agreeing to her request. He would use the Jewel of Four Souls to become ningen, thus freeing Kikyou of her responsibility as Guardian of the Shikon no Tama, and allowing her to live the life of an ordinary woman.
When he took the time to think about that choice all these years later, he could not help but feel that there was something wrong with what happened back then. Something more than just Naraku's twisted scheming. As he sat and continued to reflect on all that had happened both now and in the past, one thing seemed to become more and more clear.
Had he succeeded in making the wish that Kikyou had wanted him to, the Shikon no Tama would have become tainted and impure. It would not have disappeared as Kikyou had said, but would have been darkened by the selfishness of her desires to relieve herself of a burden in life that had been thrust upon her. He had known that more than anything in life, Kikyou had wanted to be free. Free to feel, free to love, free to hate, free to be like any other ordinary mortal.
She could not just shirk her responsibilities as a miko, nor her greater responsibilities as the Guardian chosen to protect the Sacred Jewel. The real question at the moment was, did she know this when she convinced Inuyasha that he should make that wish? What did she stand to gain by him doing so? Why risk tainting the Shikon no Tama with such a wish to begin with?
These questions and more raced through his mind. With each passing moment, others seemed to follow. The more that followed the more that he found himself confused by what had happened, what might have been, and what was. He could not bring himself to believe that Kikyou didn't know that the wish would taint the jewel. She had to have known. As the Guardian there was no way that she could not have known.
Giving a mental sigh, Inuyasha pushed the darker thoughts to the side. He could not find the answers that he wanted, and knew that he answers he was likely to get were what he needed. Whether he wanted them or not would make no difference and he only hoped that the truth he suspected was not as heartbreaking as he felt sure it was going to be.
At the thought of being heartbroken, his inner turmoil turned once more back to the matter at hand. More than anything right at the moment, Inuyasha wanted to take back every cruel, hateful, and vile thing that he had ever said to the young onna still surrounded by the protective barrier that made his flesh crawl. If only he had been more truthful to Kagome. If only he had been more willing to admit to her how he really felt. If only he had admitted to himself what he truly felt. If! It was not a very big word, but it was amazing just how much of a barrier that one tiny little word could become and nothing could ever make it any different.
Sango and Miroku had been right in more ways that one. Someone had used this Potion of Erised on Kagome. It was changing her in a number of unexpected ways. And with the evidence sitting right in front of him, Inuyasha knew without a shadow of doubt that it had been his half brother, Sesshoumaru that had claimed her.
He didn't like it, nor did he have to. He vowed that he would not take it out on Kagome. It was not her fault, after all. More than anything it was his own fault. His own fault for not having confessed his heart to her long ago. His own fault for not being there to prevent her from succumbing to this damnable Potion. Potion of Erised was the name it was given, but more like a Poison with all of the harm it was causing.
He was sure that Sesshoumaru intended that this be some form of vengeance against him for not only having, but being able to use Tetsusaiga, and for having taken his arm that day in their Father's tomb. If he let his brother know how much this matter truly affected him, he would be giving him exactly what he wanted and Inuyasha was not about to give that bastard the pleasure of seeing the suffering that he truly felt. He would not give his arrogant, cold-hearted, royal pain in the ass brother the satisfaction that he was sure that the Youkai Lord was hoping to see. He knew that was the main reason for Sesshoumaru's scheme, and while it worked, Inuyasha would not give him the satisfaction of showing it on his face for all to see.
He could not take Kagome back. The Taiyoukai had seen to that, but at the same time, it was more than apparent that the Youkai Lord had fallen prey to his own plan. He could no longer stand on his laurels as one who hated ningens. Not only did he travel with a small ningen child, but he also had laid claim to a ningen Miko. Just from watching what was transpiring during the night's events, not only had his full Youkai brother claimed her, so had his more primal Blood Beast.
That told much about this matter, whether the Great Taiyoukai knew it or not. It spoke volumes of just how far he had gone to find the means to claim this one ningen female. Inuyasha didn't know yet if his brother had admitted it to himself or not, but he had done so much more than just claim the young Miko. He had bound himself to her, and if she at any point in time claimed him as well, then both were tied together in mind, body, blood, and soul. If one died, so did the other. If one suffered, the other knew.
Yes, Sesshoumaru had deeply hurt his little half breed, half brother, but he had also fallen prey to the one thing that no one had a cure for. The Great Taiyoukai of the Western Lands had become infected with the same affliction that he had sworn oath to never fall for. He sneered at their father, Great and Powerful though he had been, for falling under the spell of a mortal female. He spat on the very existence of his half-breed, half brother. Now, Sesshoumaru himself had not only fallen for a ningen, but a Miko.
The Great Lord of the Western Lands had fallen for Kagome!
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Dictionary
Akago --ìNarakuís babyî -what Hakudoushi was originally, before a dying monk cut him in two with his holy powers, making Akago into the baby (still Akago) and Hakudoushi (as we see him now)

Baka - Idiot

Chikushou - Beast, Brute, Damn

Doushite - Why

Fujo - Witch

Hanyou - Half Demon

Hiraikotsu - actually translates as 'Come Flying Skills' and is the name of Sango's boomerang

Houshi - Monk

Inu - Dog

Kazaana - Wind Void/Tunnel - Miroku's curse from Naraku

Kitsune - Fox Demon

Miko - Shrine Maiden

Mononoke - Animal Spirit - Kirara would be considered an mononoke as she has no human form

Neko - Cat

Okaa-san - Mother

Onee - Older Sister

Onna - Woman

Sama - Lady or Lord - respectively

Shakoju - Staff - the one that Miroku carries and wields

Shimatta - Damn it

Shikon no Kakera - Shikon Shards

Shikon no Tama - Jewel of Four Souls

Shishi - Lion

Taijiya - Demon Exterminator

Taiyoukai - Demon Lord

Tenshi - Angel

Tenseiga - Sacred Life Fang

Tetsusaiga - Iron Pulverizing Fang

Youkai - Demon

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A/N - Please accept my most sincere apologies for the length of time between updates. Rest assure that I have not given up on any of my fics, and although it is taking more time to post, I am continuing to write as time permits and issues allow. Thank you all so much for your patience and please continue to read, rate, and review.
Well the Inu-Tachi seem to be more aware than ever that it is the Great Taiyoukai who has laid claim to our favorite Miko. How will they accept this revelation and what will it do to our favorite shard hunters? Will Inuyasha's pack continue, or be torn apart by the strife of the situation? Will Sesshoumaru continue to leave Kagome with his despised half brother? What kind of punishment will he exact in revenge for now having caught out his brother twice in risking the life of his mate?
Is what Inuyasha believes true? Has our beloved Lord of the Western Lands fallen for the Miko from the future? What will he think when he learns of her true origins? What other changes are in store for her because of the Potion? Are all of these changes caused by the Potion or something more?
What if Sesshoumaru's body? What of his inner Inu? Where are Naraku and Kikyou? What of Kouga, Myouga, and Kaede? How will all of this affect Kagome and her Miko powers? As she gains traits of the youkai, will she also gain the powers? Will she be able to control them? Will she accept the changes that have been forced upon her? How will she react to finding that Sesshoumaru is indeed the one to claim her? What will she believe when she finds out what his intentions are? Are those intentions still the same or have they changed?
Kagome's powers are directly proportional to her emotions, especially when those she most cares about are in danger. How will the changes she is going through affect those abilities? Will they be for the better or for worse? Will she be able to control those powers, and if not, who will be able to help her?
What of Naraku himself and the failure of his latest scheme? Will he try again? Or will he try something new? Will Myouga be able to shed some light on this matter to help Inuyasha, and friends know what to expect or how to help Kagome? What will her mother, grandfather, and brother say to all of this? Will all of this result in her becoming the mother of the heir to the Western Lands? If so, when and how will they all find out?
So many questions, so many answers! So many battles to pull those wayward and arrogant answers to the fore and bring them into the light of knowledge and reason. Stay tuned for more as they become available. There is still tons to come.
By the powers of Inari, may all of my loyal readers be blessed with that which they most need in life, even if they are not aware of the need.

EDITOR'S NOTE: To ALL of those readers who have read my stories, and to those especially who have reviewed, good and bad, please note that I have not totally giving up my any of my stories. RL hit me pretty badly about 9 years ago, and 5 years ago I totally lost over 30 years of my life. It has been a tough road since, but one that I am determined to survive and to get back on my feet again. It is slow going, but progress it definitely being made. I hope to return to finish the works that I have not yet completed, and perhaps even have another one to write. I would like to give a definite timeframe, but unfortunately, things being what they are, I am unable to do so. But I WILL return...I promise!
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The Poison of Erised